fucking bridezillas!!!!

[JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns]

bear with me i have two of the farking monsters so there is two stories.

FIRST,
my closest friends, the dcs god parents and legal gardians should anything happen to me and dp, are getting married this september, my ds age 36mnths and dd 20mnths are page boy and bridesmaid.

After asking me to pay for a £300 dress for dd and pay for ds suit hire, i said NO, we are in financial strife as it is, i dont really care if they are in the wedding party dont include them if you cant afford it, dd was brought a lovely debanhams dress which no matter what we cant get on her, she screams and crys and gets exceptionally distressed, DS reacted the same at being measured in the tailors.

Bride expects me to drop my two toddlers at her house on the day and leave them with complete strangers except her to be dressed and got ready for 4hours, shes already expressed ''she will fucking wear it if i have to glue it too her'' about dds awful huge flower headband, and ds is so painfully shy i doubt well get him through the door,

BUT heres the best bit.

She wants our children to go in the wedding car on someones lap, again a stranger to us and the children, for a 35minute drive on a motorway then country lanes.

she is trying to convince us its not against the law in a wedding car.

either way it aint happening, i have carseats for a reason.

SECOND.

SIL is getting married next year, we live 2hrs drive (on a good day) away from my ils, and the cermony is no children, despite having her own, BUT they want the kids there for the reception and photos, they are insisting, we have no one who can have the kids in the area of the wedding so shes said there is a two hour gap between that we can go and get them, a 4hr drive, then at the end 2hrs home, hotels are out of the question and family cant put us up. So 8hrs driving in one day, and god knows how much fuel, i asked dp to go on his own but thats how most occasions end up and hes pissed off.

I am just so aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh that they are so farking unreasonable, or am i?

YANBU! Stupid bridezillas!

im considering an exotic illness for the first one, and the second, fingers crossed if get a BFP in the next few days and thats a fab excuse.

Don't go to either of them and explain politely why you won't be attending and wish them well...

The kids don't go to the first wedding - it's beyond stupid - they won't enjoy it and they will be distressed putting the clothes on and being heldf on some strangers lap - put your fucking foot down woman

Don't go to the second wedding - go to the reception part where the children are allowed - don't make your dh go alone - if his sisters going to be precious about no children then she can't expect you all to do that driving and hassle

Both sound unreasonable to me but I'm a grumpy old woman who has vowed never to go to another bloody wedding as long as I live. (excluding the DDs)

yanbu

what a pair oof bridezillas, maybe they should convert to lesbianism and marry each other!

Yanbu. But I am very tempted to agree to dropping the dc off... she will be begging you to come and get them in about oooh 15 minutes? The children either travel in their car seats or they don't travel in the wedding car. End of. I assume she has no sense children?

And the sil? If she wants them in the photos and at the reception she has them at the ceremony. Make it her choice.

Erm you might want to re-think the legal guardian thing if they are happy to travel in a car with your DC not in carseats!!

i agree with laurie

Wedding 1: just say you'll meet them at the church. The kids are too small to be left with strangers and definitely shouldn't be transported without car seats. We actually took DD separately to her great grandad's funeral (despite him expressing before he died that he wanted her in the family car) because they couldn't fit everyone in plus the car seat. No car seat, no DD

Wedding 2: Agree with the poster who suggested just going to the reception. Personally, I'd be 'late' and miss the photos too as it's a bit random to have kids in the photos when they're not welcome at the wedding.

Good luck.

Bloody hell is your firend determined to ruin the morning of her own wedding for herself? Tell her the kids will be upset and distressed and have to be amused for 4 hours while she is getting ready and this will put extra pressure on her. Tell her you will meet her outside the church with the two of them all ready and dressed but you are not going to upset them by leaving them alone with people they don't know in what I am sure will be a chaotic environment. If she won't compromise tell her the kids aren't coming.
If your husband soesn't want to go alone to SIL's wedding and meet you and the kids at reception, then he'll just have to tell his sister that the kids aren't coming at all. there is no way I'd be doing a 4 hr round trip (plus if there is only a 2hr break won't you be 2 hours late for photos anyway). He'll jave to decide if its worth pissing his sister off to have you with him -his call I would have said

For the first wedding....meet the bride at the venue at an appropriate time just as she arrives or just go as a guest. They both seem a bit young to expect such a long day of them.

For the second wedding....wear a maxi dress and hide them under it until the reception. No one will ever know .

libra, i am, we have decided should the worst happen the kids are being released into the wild to be reared by wolves, seems a safer option than anyone else we know.

No first one has no children, but has always been fantastic with mine. until now.

justanother, i considered dropping them off and waiting for that call but then i cant bear the thought of a group of childless idiots upsetting my very easily upset ds, he so shy and anxious, its taken months of work for him to get of my lap at anyones house despite visiting since he was born. and i truly think they wouldnt care and would continue to dress him and so on.

it gets worse. the maid of honour at the first one is someone i cant stand and my skin crawls at the thought of her touching the kids, bumped into her and bridezilla, just after booking ds hair app for a few weeks before the wedding moh goes on to say oh your finally having it cut off, bridezilla asked you, erm NOOOO hes having a trim and tidy, see profile pics, ds has slightly long hair. and she scoffs and mutters.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

really dont want to loose my friends, they are our only ones, honest to god.

scurry, i am loling at the idea of my insane dcs under a dress, dd would possibly eat my legs alive, shes a biter and ds, well the things that child comes out with i could be humiliated for life.

With the first wedding I would suggest that you leave the dcs with her at her house for - oh ,around 4 hours or so . Suggest she get them into their wedding clobber (plus head dress)and then take it from there.

With the second I would either not go at all or take the dcs with you as a family. Once you are all at the ceremony theres precious little she can do. Then spirit the Dcs away to a park or somewhere until the reception.

I would not do all that driving in one day even if fuel was free.

The first set are going to get some lovely wedding photos out of that arrangement - red tear stained faces (or worse). YANBU and must stick to your guns.

Yanbu x2.

1st one i'd do as everyone suggested and meet her at church. Not negotiable.

2nd either kids go all day or not at all. Or all of you go to reception only. No way would I be doing that car journey.

Put ya foot down woman!!

Friend: Meet them at the venue, with kids dressed as suitably as possible.

SIL: Kids there for the whole thing or none of you for any of it - her choice.

They both sound fucking nuts.
I'd not go to either and would probably choose to spend the day eating fish & chips on a beach somewhere,flicking V signs in their general direction.

YANBU - they both sound completely mad.

I totally agree with GeekOfTheWeek with those suggestions! Just tell them, if they want to have a tantrum and uninvite you, well, tough!

If someone who was my DC's legal guardian and godparents were happy for my DC's to travel in cars with strangers (goodness knows who) without adeqquate safety provisions I would also be considering removing their guardianship especially after the

''she will fucking wear it if i have to glue it too her'' about dds awful huge flower headband

I'm sorry but if the is her attitude now, what will your lo's be subjected to if (god forbid) anything did happen to you and DH.

The second one, TBF, I just would just not bother going

I always read these and think WHY? WHY does your friend want to dress your children and separate them from their mum for 4 hours (wtf) WHY does she think it's ok for them to travel w/o car seats, WHY the need for a f*cing flower headband, WHY does no 2 want kids in the photos but not at the wedding?? Yes I realise I am sounding like a 3year old but either these women are deranged or I'm missing something quite fundamental.

Seriously, What is their reasoning?

Your friend sounds clueless and selfish. Don't put your children through it.

I also don't like the idea of calling up children for a photo call of a wedding they're not invited to. Just go to the reception of that one.

I would not go to either wedding under those 'rules'. No way.

Please don't subject your poor shy DS to anything he doesn't want to do. I was painfully shy as a child and can remember the panic and fear I felt if my mother was out of my sight and all I could see were strangers.

Fuck those cunts. Go on holiday instead.