fucking bridezillas!!!!

[JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns]

bear with me i have two of the farking monsters so there is two stories.

FIRST,
my closest friends, the dcs god parents and legal gardians should anything happen to me and dp, are getting married this september, my ds age 36mnths and dd 20mnths are page boy and bridesmaid.

After asking me to pay for a £300 dress for dd and pay for ds suit hire, i said NO, we are in financial strife as it is, i dont really care if they are in the wedding party dont include them if you cant afford it, dd was brought a lovely debanhams dress which no matter what we cant get on her, she screams and crys and gets exceptionally distressed, DS reacted the same at being measured in the tailors.

Bride expects me to drop my two toddlers at her house on the day and leave them with complete strangers except her to be dressed and got ready for 4hours, shes already expressed ''she will fucking wear it if i have to glue it too her'' about dds awful huge flower headband, and ds is so painfully shy i doubt well get him through the door,

BUT heres the best bit.

She wants our children to go in the wedding car on someones lap, again a stranger to us and the children, for a 35minute drive on a motorway then country lanes.

she is trying to convince us its not against the law in a wedding car.

either way it aint happening, i have carseats for a reason.

SECOND.

SIL is getting married next year, we live 2hrs drive (on a good day) away from my ils, and the cermony is no children, despite having her own, BUT they want the kids there for the reception and photos, they are insisting, we have no one who can have the kids in the area of the wedding so shes said there is a two hour gap between that we can go and get them, a 4hr drive, then at the end 2hrs home, hotels are out of the question and family cant put us up. So 8hrs driving in one day, and god knows how much fuel, i asked dp to go on his own but thats how most occasions end up and hes pissed off.

I am just so aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh that they are so farking unreasonable, or am i?

brides do become somewhat loony, so perhaps not to judge your whole future and guardianship of your DC on a few months of madness!
My lovely Dsis who is usually the loveliest of women and adores my DD's, and IS their legal guradian, became bridezilla extraordinaire.
She had a massive strop and insisted my DD1 wore a ridiculous flower headband, DD1 refused, and I tried to explain she would be fine in the daintly silver one we had, she had the biggest tantrum ever. I was gobsmacked.
Sometimes they behave in a ridiculos manner.

But YANBU at all

I pity the poor blokes that are marrying these loons.

YA SO DEFINITELY NOT BU!

What a couple of arsewipes! All other posters have extremely sensible suggestions - do what's best for you and yours, and sod the Bridezillas!

At the end of the day weddings tend to run just fine, and what seems like major catastrophes for the bridezillas beforehand will end up being ... well absolutely fine! So maybe the poncey flower thing might end up thrown on the floor of the church by your DD... well, it will cause some amusement and be a talking point!

As for the second wedding, either you want to involve children, or you don't - really can't see the logic behind "we will have them in the pics but that's all." Suggest you get some big cardboard cut outs of your DCs

christ i am laughing my head off now, enough to have attracted dps attention, hes had a read, and also lost all control at the beach idea and flicking vs. hehe. snobear, your ver funny.

He didnt realise i was so worried and is going to take said friends in hand and say we will be taking the kids to the church end of, i know she will argue with me forever, i doubt she would dp since hes usually mr laidback and quiet, however ds is his dad in miniture form so daddys a bit soft and no way on earth will he let them upset him

(he sayes this now after me stressing for over a freaking year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

as for sil, shes the one girl out of 6 siblings and he pretty much thinks she is god (dont get me started her son is only 6weeks old and shes already a perfect mum in his eyes, but thats a whole other thread and rant) he wants me to get bridezilla one to come with us and keep dcs in a premier inn or such like while we are at the wedding, i said no, he walked off, i can see this one will be interesting, since hes being as difficult as her, gah i hate my farking inlaws.

"She wants our children to go in the wedding car on someones lap"

Damn it! If I had known wedding cars were a law free zone I'd have offed the MIL and sold some crack to pay for the wedding!!!

sally

WHY because said friends think all the children in there family arent cute enough i should be flattered but instead its a farking nusiance, they are not little hire out models they are my little people and i am hoping against hope my 'spirited' daughter will say something highly inappropriate in a quiet bit.

they also want the kids sat in the front row, this had my pissing myself, my two sat still for 3hour ceremony LMAO!!!!

they cant sit still to eat.

domestic

want to share the price of the car, and we can do the mils (and my bridezillas).

you're on jj!

Bride No 2 can't stop your children going to her wedding. Weddings are public events and no-one can egally be denied entry. take them. Give them coke and sweeties beforehand too

weegie, its in a posh room full of antiques that sayes no children apparently, BUT her sons allowed to go we just heard, he will be one, oh such a giggle.

BRIGHT.

i agreed over a year ago, dd was like 6mnths and ds we thought was going through a phase not becoming his anxious father! i wish i hadnt now trust me, although how do you say no to something like that??

Pull your children out of the wedding party. The bride is being totally unreasonable and if she has children of her own (I'm assuming she doesn't already) she will see that.

And your SIL is nuts if she thinks anyone would do a four hour round trip to get their kids in some photos.

This is the most bridezilla behaviour I've ever heard of

With the first, I would say that you have to tell her that they can´t be part of the wedding party tbh.

With the second, I think if it is a no children ceremony then you should respect that.

I would go to the reception (avoiding photos), but would be prepared to let husband go to the ceremony.

yes wolves, im all outta options!

Please do then they can all come and tell me ianbu

SO,

so far the decision i think ive made is set dp on the farking loon, if that results in worse behaviour, we pull them out, then what is it upto me to pay for cancelled suit and dress? or do i see it that if she wasnt bu, it wouldnt happen, gah she is my fwend.

diddl,

there is no where i can go with the dcs while dp is at the ceremony, and dp wont go without me, gah!!!!

i was happy with any solution that didnt mean 8hrs driving, but dp being a pita, and since we have one car me driving up after dp not an option, My ideal solution would be just to go to the reception, but since i hate the ils, avoiding it completely would be better.

SIL has just announced on fb the reception will be a bbq and bouncy castle with kids enertainer to make up for excluding her much loved neices and nephews,

WHAT.IS.WRONG.WITH.THESE.WOMEN.

They are nuts. That's all that needs to be said.

Is your SIL mainly worried about disruptive children at the ceremony? Could you simply promise to wip them out of the room if they start fussing? We asked parents of small children to do that becuase I've had rather bad experiences along those lines at other people's weddings (oblivious parents whose children are drowning out the vows, quite literally) and I have made the same promise to the friends whose weddings I'm going to this autumn with baby in tow.

Wedding 1 - tell the bride if she really wants "photos of us all getting ready at home" you could compromise of coming round to her house with 2 already dressed DCs for a couple of photos before getting in the cars - if there is car seats in the wedding cars for them, then your DCs can then go in the wedding cars, or you can drive them to the venue from her house in your car.

Wedding 2 - Tell your DP the only options are a) he goes on his own b) you all miss the wedding and just turn up for the reception or c) you leave the kids with someone at home (if this is possible) and you go to the whole thing childfree. He can pick which of these options is best and tell his DSis which you are doing.

YANBU, definitely, definitely.

I agree with all of the responses here but especially Snobear4000.

Depending on how close you are to SIL, I´d be tempted not to go at all.

Re your SIL wedding can I ask is there any reason you won't go for your DPs suggestion of having a friend go down with you and mind the kids during the ceremony and you pick them up afterwards from somewhere nearby? This could work well I would think.
If there are no kids allowed in the venue where the ceremony is then you can't bring them along regardless, but if your SIL is having a bouncy castle, entertainer etc they may really enjoy the reception. it would be a shame for them to miss it.

we are close to sil, the only one on his side we see regularly, or hear from without wanting something.

the thing with having a friend watching them nearby, the only friend we have is bridezilla, so i cant rely on that since we may never speak again! and as things stand affording any kind of accomadtion is out of the question we will already be shinning out on clothes, wedding present (no they want cash dont they) and fuel that we can ill afford.

and since my ils made a disgrace of themselves at ds christening my family wont be near them or anything to do with them, and the friends would also rather not. its a bloody pita, the only thing we can do is me keep the kids at ils house during cermony but chuffing dp wants me with him understandably, since in the 5yrs we have been together theres always been a reason for him to go alone, and hes had enough. so i can see it from his pov but its bugging me that my two quiet, well behaved children arent welcome, they tried saying that the place wouldnt allow kids then her fiance said its because of numbers and theres too many kids so none are coming, mine will sit on laps not chairs, gah, not my wedding her rules i know.

but this is why me dp and the kids are the only ones invited to my wedding, i cant be doing with the fuss, its about making a commitment to each other and love, not a farking great party and fancy venues etc.

What did the ils do to disgrace themselves?

Can your DP not go up on the train and then you drive up with the DC for SIL's wedding? Or can he get a lift from another guest who's going vaguely your way?

YANBU.

This pair of arseholes are treating your DC like props! I'd tell 'em both to fuck off until they start treating your kids like human beings and not just a photo op. Seriously - this is actually worth falling out over and fuck the consequences.