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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I know I am before you flame me, but F*cking pg announcements on FB!!

125 replies

TheLadyOfTheGreenKirtle · 18/08/2010 19:31

I am friends with a former colleague and she has been with her dp for 9m. she has been moaning for the last 6m that its taking such a looooonnnnngggggg time for her to get up the pole. when I was having my last mc she bombarded me with q's about how i had got pg in the first place ffs.

she has just announced via status update that she is 2-3w pg. ive just burst into tears (evidently not as resigned as i thought) and had a rant at dh about it.

she has every right to be happy. she is not responsible for my problems, her being pg isnt the reason that i have such a shit womb, but im really upset about it.

so, yes, IABU but fb is not the place to announce a pg, especially so early. but then im a cynical bitter and barren witch.

OP posts:

OracleInaCoracle · 19/08/2011 15:30

Blimey, a year ago! I'm the op and think an update is in order, she mc'd. I felt dreadful for her, until she contacted me asking for tips again. Now we are no longer friends. Its hard though (although it has got easier) and I am still vvv bitter. I've just found out that I am pg again, and I can't consider telling anyone in rl, let alone on fb.

naturalbaby · 19/08/2011 15:32

texting is even worse! turn your phone off before she rings to triple check you've found out.
a frind of mine wanted to tell me her news so as a last resort left a messange on my answer phone which i felt was better than a text.

how can she even know at 2-3weeks, that's rediculous.
i keep moaning at dh that fb is making us depressed (photos that shout out:look at me and how fab/popular/amazing i am!) but i just can't keep away. photos of the new arrivals are making me miserable as well and i've been there and done that myself, which is very U of me.

CheeseandGherkins · 19/08/2011 15:33

Oh I didn't realise this thread was old!

Keeping my fingers crossed for you lissie and for myself!

OracleInaCoracle · 19/08/2011 15:39

Oh cheese, I somehow missed that you were up the pole too! How lovely (but bittersweet) do the cons' have a plan? Will they induce early? Everything crossed xxx

OracleInaCoracle · 19/08/2011 15:39

Oh cheese, I somehow missed that you were up the pole too! How lovely (but bittersweet) do the cons' have a plan? Will they induce early? Everything crossed xxx

CheeseandGherkins · 19/08/2011 15:46

Thank you! I've seen the consultant already and arranged a hospital change as the more I thought about it and read the results of the PM etc the more I thought things were going wrong for a while. It seems as though I did have gestational diabetes and that contributed to her stillbirth; the extra fluid, bigger than expected, enlarged organs etc all pointed to that. The old hospital didn't mention anything would sort testing at 24 weeks so I've now changed and they're better already.

I go at 12 weeks to see the diabetic nurse to arrange blood sugar testing as my new consultant said it seems likely I had it and that the GTT isn't 100%, it's better to see how your body normally reacts to sugar. She put me on asprin too.

I was told before that I'd be induced early so I'm hoping that plan would stay the same, I suppose it's hard to plan so early just in case other problems crop up though. Growth scans and extra appointments would be done also. I feel happier knowing the care will be better but still bloody scared!

How are you doing? Really pleased for you and hoping it's a sticky baby, I'll be thinking and praying for you. How many weeks are you now? xx

YouDoTheMath · 19/08/2011 15:49

Greek I think you need to hide her updates on FB as she's clearly one of those who's going to keep updating with blow-by-blow accounts of her pregnancy.

When she texted you the news, did she bring up the fact you'd not commented on her status? What's she doing, exactly, keeping a note of everyone who's commented and chasing up everyone who hasn't? She'll be arranging her own baby shower next...

Lovely that she's excited, but totally inappropriate for her to rub your nose in it.

YouDoTheMath · 19/08/2011 15:52

Didn't realise it was old, either, sorry.

Agree re not telling people on FB OP. I didn't mention either of my pregnancies on FB all the way through - I don't assume everything's ok until the baby arrives in one piece.

Plus I could mention several people on my FB who have announced their v early pregnancies online and gone on to miscarry. Tempting fate, I think.

saintlyjimjams · 19/08/2011 15:55

You can't even be 2 weeks pregnant can you as you get two weeks for free as it's dated from last period (so two weeks is called 4 weeks iyswim).

Sn0wGoose · 19/08/2011 16:00

Tbf, why are you friends (even FB friends) which someone so insensitive??

OracleInaCoracle · 19/08/2011 16:06

Saintly it was based on those devil spawn cbd tests with conception indicator. God, how I loathe claire from clear blue with her "can you risk to guess your due date?" Well, yes. There is only one likely father and hcg varies tremendously, now please do me a favour and drown in a bucket of urine.

Youdo, she was rounding up those who hadn't commented. It was ridiculous!

Cheese, it must be so difficult, hopefully they will take better care of you this time. I am just coming up to 5w, so still v much in the danger zone. Clearest bfp I've had in 4y, if that counts, but I can't even think about it. It is the elephant in the room.

ScarlettIsWalking · 19/08/2011 16:08

So the poor girl lost the baby .

What do you mean "asking you for tips"?

Sandalwood · 19/08/2011 16:10

I have no idea - are you among a select few she has as facebook friends?
You talk to her about your miscarriages - does she feel you and her are particularly close?
I don't know as I'm quite private about that sort of stuff and don't have facebook - but am aware that some people are very open with details and use facebook to communicate quite comfortably.

OracleInaCoracle · 19/08/2011 16:26

Scarlett, she did, at around 6w iirc. She was asking for tips on getting pregnant again because she didn't want to wait as long (ie, 6m) I'd left the job so found it quite easy to just not be friends with her anymore.

We weren't particularly close, but I'd mentioned that wed had a few problems and she asked me questions so I answered them.

OracleInaCoracle · 19/08/2011 16:26

We weren't particularly close, but I'd mentioned that wed had a few problems and she asked me questions so I answered them.

Sandalwood · 19/08/2011 16:31

Oh gosh - I saw it mentioned that the thread was old so scanned up to check and thought they were mistaken. Whoops.

ScarlettIsWalking · 19/08/2011 16:55

I see oh well just as well to leave it then. Sad situation though.

CheeseandGherkins · 19/08/2011 18:08

Lissie I hope the next few weeks go uneventfully for you and then the next months also. Are you taking asprin or anything at the moment? I hope my care will be better too, I'm going to be questioning everything and just praying that this baby makes it.

ragged · 19/08/2011 18:27

Hm... yabu, but you knew that.
I don't know how to say that... some of us just aren't gutted by infertility & can't understand those who are. It doesn't make anybody wrong or right, it's just a huge gulf between personal experiences.
I always told other (random) people as soon as I knew and I never had any regrets by doing that, I would have felt fine if I had had to tell them I m/c'd (miscarriage was kind of ordinary in my family, anyway). But then so was unplanned pregnancy. And I don't feel embarassed or sensitive about that, either.

Hope that things go well for you in future, Lissie.

VaginaPuddleduck · 19/08/2011 18:58

YABU, people can write what they like about themselves on facebook.

VaginaPuddleduck · 19/08/2011 18:59

(congrats on your BFP btw)

Giselle99 · 19/08/2011 19:10

I'm exactly the same as ragged. I've never understood the veil of secrecy around pregnancy.

Portofino · 19/08/2011 19:15

OMG - I have just twigged that this thread was a year old, but have just shed an ickle tear for you Lissie and Cheese. I wish you both all the best this time round. Fingers and toes crossed and all.

Memoo · 19/08/2011 19:16

Lissie, really hope everything goes well for you xx

ZillionChocolate · 19/08/2011 19:37

Hope things work out for you! Glad this is (hopefully) all a distant memory.

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