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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think mums should help each other?

127 replies

celebmum · 11/08/2010 12:02

My friend just txt me to tell me that she and her 4month old baby were turned away from the bus and left standing in the rain as there was already 2 ladies & babies on the bus...
fair enough but those 2ladies had buggy's with children of a walking, sitting age.. neither of these mothers attepted to collapse their buggies to make room?

the wanker driver just closed the doors on my friend and drove off when she tried to ask if either mother could collapse their buggy.

is it unreasnoble of me to think that as mothers we should support each other? i find it outrageous that neither of the other mothers even offered? is this not just common courtsy, like offering your seat to an old person??

if you happen to be either of those other mums who was on that bus today, i hope you sleep well tonight. sleep well knowing that you left a new mum with her 4month old baby girl, crying with frustration in the rain. for 30mins till the next bus...Angry

rant over....

OP posts:
kittywise · 11/08/2010 21:25

No not at all. I simply don't understand why people can't look at their circumstances and limitations and make decisions that would make life easier for them if you have to use a bus and a pram then make it as easy for yourself as you can. So get a pram that you can fold one handed. Get a pram that is lightweight, small,narrow etc etc.
Get a Maclaren for instance and not the pram equivalent of a monster truck!
It's not rocket science.

SirBoobAlot · 11/08/2010 21:30

And I repeat my question from earlier - what if you can't? What if you can't use a lightweight pram because you need to lean on it? What if you can't use a sling because you fall over too often that its not safe? What if you have to use public transport because you can't afford / are not well enough to drive?

It might not be rocket science, but its not that simple, either.

MillyR · 11/08/2010 21:36

SB, I would suggest that people who have such issues, whether they have children or not, would benefit from some kind of scheme where they have a card (like a disabled parking card) that gives them priority on buses and in getting on to buses.

sarah293 · 12/08/2010 09:09

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clpsmum · 12/08/2010 09:36

Mums shoudl help each other i agree BUT my son is walking and could sit on the bus but i would have not collapsed buggy to let her on. Sorry if it sounds harsh but often 3 or 4 busses pass me by without stopping when they see i have a buggy and when i finally get on if i were to take him out of the buggy i would have a temper tantrum and stressful time trying to get him back into the buggy. Might sound very selfish but am just being honest sorry

sarah293 · 12/08/2010 09:38

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SirBoobAlot · 12/08/2010 10:17

Riven you obviously have a better local community than around here then. In nine months I have had four people help me. I also wouldn't be able to fold the buggy as I would need to lean against something to do it.

And my point was more about using a bigger buggy in general, not just getting on the bus.

sunnydelight · 12/08/2010 10:21

I think life is a lot more pleasant for everyone if we all try and do what we can to help each other, but I don't think there is some God given right to a buggy space on a bus. Those of us who remember buses without buggy spaces made choices about the buggies we bought if we had to use public transport a lot (if you couldn't fold it one handed with a baby in your arms you didn't buy it); if it was an occasional thing we accepted that sometimes we'd have to wait for a few buses to go past.

LauraNorder · 12/08/2010 10:24

Shock how sad! I would most def have folded my buggy (one handed Wink) to let this poor woman on if only because the next time it could be me - IYSWIM

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/08/2010 10:28

my DD has SN but is a very tall 3.9 year old, folding her buggy is a total nightmare as she literally falls on the ground, and then is unable to get off the bus unaided so I have to lug an 18kg floppy child and a buggy off the bus, but noone knows this, so I assume if I don't fold for people with babies people think I am a "selfish bitch with a walking talking child" (who isn't talking but you can't see that.)

Depressing.

i do in fact always get off for a wheelchair though, I must add.

sarah293 · 12/08/2010 10:30

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fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/08/2010 10:30

Actually this happened..a couple got on with a baby, they were both perfectly able to carry their baby and fold buggy, but they were giving each other cats bum eye rolling looks (I was behind them, they didn't know I was with DH and DD). They got a shock when the baby was smiling at DD and she was unable to say "baby"....hope it made them (and others who read this) think before they judge.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/08/2010 10:32

actually got 5 separate buses yesterday with DD without buggy, as she can't walk far, as buggy politics on buses is so depressing!

snice · 12/08/2010 10:34

I love the competative one handed buggy folding-ness of this thread!

Reminds me of when DD was born and I went into town for the first time to do some shopping. I got the pushchair out of the boot ready to fit on the car seat just like the lady in the shop had shown me ( Look, just a flick of the wrist to unfold it..)

and then stood gormlessly gazing at it unable to see how it could possibly turn from a mass of mangled metal into a four wheeled pushable object. Luckily a passing member of the sisterhood took pity on me and did it for me Blush

sarah293 · 12/08/2010 10:38

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ZZZenAgain · 12/08/2010 10:39

Maybe MNers need to push for a change in bus drivers' general attitude to the problem of mothers with buggys. I know the bus drivers have their schedule to keep to and their own work to get done but if the passengers are out of order, why can't the bus driver say, "make room for the mother coming on with her buggy please"? That's so hard to do?

I think mothers should show some understanding for other mothers. You've been in the same boat, you know how it is. I wouldn't have left a mother with a baby standing out in the rain. Everyone should show some understanding but mothers should be able to put themselves in the place of another mother you'd think

SirBoobAlot · 12/08/2010 10:40

I have had people complain about the size of my buggy, though its always old ladies when it is not affecting them at all - empty bus, they're sat happily bitching chatting away in the priority seats and its all, "The size of these buggies now, its ridiculous, no consideration for anyone else, purely selfish, no need for them..." I do make sure I click my stick together very loudly when its time for me to get up. The majority of them at least have the decency to look embarrassed or bemused at the very least.

ZZZenAgain · 12/08/2010 10:42

also hate it when buses take off and leave an old biddy stumbling down the aisle trying to find a seat.

Maybe busdrivers just get sick of dealing with passenger problems , get abuse if they say anything.

sarah293 · 12/08/2010 11:02

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sungirltan · 12/08/2010 11:02

riven - i spent most of monday in pram showrooms looking at/trying out many a buggy from the luxury (micralite - dont know who they are trying to kid) to the utilitarian (silver cross/obaby/maclaren/a few more) the only one I (emphasis on I) could fold whilst holding dd (10 months) was the baby jogger city mini.

furthermore it still depends on whether its a kneeling bus where you can get on and THEN fold or an old style bus with steps where you have to fold first which frankly - id rather stand in the rain than go through that but i rarely go on the bus/am in much of a hurry but thats my luxury not everyones.

sirboob - think i will always agree with you no this theme - i wont be nagged about using a sling - i couldnt wqhen dd was little - hurt my c section scar too much

sarah293 · 12/08/2010 11:06

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SirBoobAlot · 12/08/2010 11:07

Did you get that from the council, Riven?

See I have a disabled bus pass, but a lot of them ignore that fact, just as they ignore the passes that the elderly have. If I ask them to wait, some of them will quite happily, some will but take the piss - "Are you sat down, now? Comfortable? Is it okay if I start driving?" then mutter under their breathes -, and some just won't because they have a schedule to stick to. sigh

sarah293 · 12/08/2010 11:10

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Graciescotland · 12/08/2010 11:15

I'm sure I'll get slated for this! I'm not a mum yet, 12 days to go! However I used to watch my nephew a lot and to be honest it seemed to require a degree in engineering to fold his buggy and it weighed loads. I'd of had to ask a stranger to hold him, fumble and fluster for five minutes, before heaving the thing onto the luggage rack at waist height keeping everyone on the bus waiting (not allowed to move if aisle blocked with buggy). Redoing the process in reverse in five minutes!

I always waited for a bus with a space, sometimes that took forever and I've gotten off the bus when a wheelchair user required the space but I wouldn't of folded the buggy or expected someone else to

It does suck to wait in the rain and I've stood there for more than an hour as bus after bus was full. It's not anyone's fault though tis just life.

sarah293 · 12/08/2010 11:18

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