T think DP is being utterly pathetic about school trousers?

[MrsTWay]

DP and I have only been living together for just under a year. He has an 11 year old DD who lives with us and I have a 9 year old DS. I have a Next catalogue and DP expressed a wish to buy his DD some school trousers from it. Normally I would never allow anyone to get credit in my name but for £12 each it would hardly get me in debt so I agreed. I always bought DS's school trousers from asda for about £5 each and said to DP that I wouldn't buy his from Next as they were too expensive, at 9 he would grow out of them and wreck them too fast. He agreed. However when his DD's trousers arrived I thought they were lovely, great quality and well worth the money so I decided to buy DS some from Next too rather than asda. His were only £9 each so not that much more than what I'd pay in asda.
I never thought to mention it to DP because a) its my catalogue. b) its my own money and c) its hardly a massive issue is it??
Anyway DP has kicked off saying it is totally unfair that DS also has trousers from Next as his DD has had to wait until she's at secondary school to get "expensive" trousers and so should DS!!! Isn't that totally pathetic??? I have only recently moved in so its hardly my fault that she has never had decent school trousers and why shouldn't I buy DS some from my own catalogue if I want to?? why should he have to wait until he's in secondary school just because DP never bought his DD some when she was younger???
And does it really matter where we buy the school trousers from???

Or am I being unreasonable?

hes being unreasonable

god he sounds like a twat. is he normally like this?

Alarm bells are ringing.

YANBU

You are right, he is totally pathetic.

And he's like this after 1 year...

You are not being unreasonable at all.

Your money, your daughter, your choice where she/you shops.

I would personally be making this very clear to him to avoid any future issues because this sounds like a very weird thing for him to get hung up on.

erm...he sounds mad if he thinks the price and provencance of school trousers is worth a fight like this.

Does he have other issues about how equally the children are treated?

Also, is he a control freak? Most men don't even think about their kid's clothes let alone discuss buying options and then check the said agreement was honoured.

Also, if he thinks Next is expensive, he is a tight wad.

Well he's already invented a rule that DS cannot have a mobile phone until he's 11 because that's what age his DD got one and it wouldn't be fair on her if he got one younger. Same with a key to the house, he has to be 11 to make it the same as when his dd got one. As it happens I agree about the phone but kinda wish he could have a front door key because there are times he beats me home from school.

You have only recently moved in together ?

Not a good start, is it ? If this is an indicator of things to come, I sincerely hope you didn't completely burn your bridges accomodation-and-finances wise to do so...

YANBU. Total false economy to buy cheap trousers that will wear out instantly and not wash well. And for the sake of three quid, I'm not sure what planet he's on.

He's bonkers about the trousers. But at least he's trying to treat the children the same, however clumsily he puts it into practice.

What a bizarre reaction - more like an 11 year old girl tbh. Is this normally what he's like?

How does he cope generally with the idea that other people's children may wear a different brand of clothing to his DD?

He sounds a) barking and b) as if he's trying to create competition and resentment where none exists.

does he cry if you give your ds more ice cream than him? or if you sit on his favourite chair?

Is this him setting all the rules or is his DD the root of this and he's reacting to her? i.e. she's seeing her bum because your DS getting stuff she's been made to wait for?Either way it's ridiculous but I'm just curious.

What would happen if you did give your DS a key? What would be his reaction?

hang on, I'm confused, I thought you said you wouldn't buy his DD's trousers from Next - so howcome she did get them from Next in the end?

exactly, he says its not the money, its the principle??? I wouldn't mind but its my catalogue!! If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't be able to get his DD the trousers either!

He is very tight. I suggested we buy both kids a new dressing gown for christmas. I found a nice "no fear" one for DS for £12.99 so bought him that. DP came home with a £3 sale item from a shop that has gone into administration, it had a huge hole in it and was stained. I wouldn't have even taken it to a charity shop, I would have been embarrassed - and that was for a christmas present!! he has since taken it back and bought one from Next for £20 and he's going on as if he's bought her a bloody Armani limited edition garment.

do you actually like this man?

No I originally said I wouldn't buy my DS trousers from next but I changed my mind.

I said he could use my catalogue to buy his dd's from next though.

I do Cereal but his wierd hang-ups are starting to create tension.

I can't bear tight men

Fair enough, if money is short, economies must be made

But he just sounds like a nob

Does he work? Is he on a tight budget?

I can understand being careful with money, especially at the moment, and appreciating the value of stuff, but there's a bit difference between that and just outright meaness, which is a very nasty trait in someone.

God this rings alarm bells - sounds like my ex.
He never got over my children getting higher grades than his at GCSE.
His should have better grades than mine as they are cleverer really.
Mine are stupid actually- the grades are deceptive.
My son also grew "stupidly tall" ie. taller than him.
Sound familiar?
Be very careful what you commit to.

My goodness. YANBU. that school trousers from Next is a special treat you have to wait years for. What a cheapskate.