Wow. I've been out all afternoon and have arrived home to see all this. Thank you to everyone who has been so reassuring. To those who feel upset, I'm really sorry - that was absolutely not my intention! Maybe my post was a bit naive or thoughtlessly worded; I am sorry. I certainly never meant to belittle anyone or make anyone feel judged.
I should say that this has made me realise I do indeed live in a bubble. As I mentioned in my first post, I haven't been living in Britain that long, and my only experience has been London. All my friends live like we do - huge rent bills, high incomes, lots of fun, no children. Now we are thinking of moving on to the next stage. As someone said earlier, the biological clock just keeps on ticking. We have been talking about moving out of London, as I just can't see how we could ever afford a mortgage. We do not live in a fancy part of town, just ordinary suburban north London, but the flat we rent sold for nearly 400K just before we moved in, and costs us 2K a month in rent. You can see why I thought I must be seeing things when I read that some of you have monthly mortgage payments of less than £500! We cannot get a mortgage without a minimum 20% deposit (I think it is higher as I am self-employed) and I cannot conceive of having saved 40-50K over the last couple of years! Someone earlier made the point that many people bought into the property market at a time when mortgages were easier to come by, and would struggle to be offered one now.
Someone mentioned that I was 'whingeing' about earning 'only' 29K. Please don't feel that way; it is simply not the case. I am not whingeing or complaining about anything. I've had a wonderful time living in London, working harder than I've ever thought possible to establish myself, getting to know the city. But now it is time to move on, and my DH and I are discussing where and how. I came on to ask advice as our hypothetical situation is outside the realms of my experience for three reasons: I have never lived outside London; I have never had children; I have never had a household income of 29K. Put those three things together and you get a situation I may be in next year. I am curious and apprehensive, and sought reassurance here. I really am genuinely sorry if I came across as whingeing.
Someone asked what our income is at the moment. I am embarrassed to say I really don't know exactly. Being self-employed, my income is rather peripatetic: money appears in differing amounts at differing times. I couldn't tell you what I earn without asking my accountant, but I imagine our combined income to be somewhere around 100K. I feel disgracefully embarrassed to admit that, as I can see how other people know to the last penny where there money goes, and I really don't pay much attention to mine, either on its way in or out. Most of our friends are on similar incomes, with similar lives, so yes, I admit I do live in a bubble.
Obviously there are many things we can do without, and places we can cut back. I don't get home from work til about 10pm most nights, so we tend to eat out rather a lot. We don''t have a car, so take taxis quite a bit. We fly to the other side of the world every year, as that is where I am from, and there is always a wedding/funeral/family reunion to go to. Having read this thread very carefully, I will now start to work out where our money goes and how we could manage it better. There are some really helpful posts here, which I will read again over the next few days.
So, thanks everyone. I feel like a chastised child - and I am sure I needed to hear that not only am I being unreasonable, I also need to grow up and start acting much responsibly. I have heard you loud and clear.
(And sorry again to anyone who was offended or felt I was somehow implying that people earning 29K or less are bad parents - absolutely not the case).