to think you cannot possibly support a family on 29K?

[AliceBlackwell]

Please please please tell me I AM being unreasonable! My DH has been offered a wonderful job which he would love to take, but the pay is only 29K. Taking the job would mean leaving London, and while I do appreciate that salaries do drop outside London, I really fear that this is just not enough money to support a family.

Back story: we do not have children yet, plan on TTC in a few months. I am self-employed; when we have a baby I will have to stop work (at least for a few months) and will have no income. We have no savings, having recently finished paying off debt (credit cards, old student loans etc.) and do not own a house. This will mean moving to a new city, renting, trying to save for a mortgage, hopefully starting a family - all on 29K!

I have namechanged to prepare for inevitable flaming. I don't mind being told I am being unreasonable/ridiculous - I hope I am! It just seems such a huge drop from what we are earning now, and believe me, it doesn't feel like we are living the high life.
Please tell me money goes much further outside London, and that it would be possible to have a comfortable life on this money. I didn't grow up in the UK, and have only been living here a couple of years, so don't really have any point of reference apart from London. I know that we haemorrhage money just opening the front door here.

Looking forward to being told IABU.

All these pro-London/anti-London points are ignoring what is surely the main fact here:

The OP's job, which she wants to continue doing 3 days a week, and which is well paid, is in London.

Seems like a pretty good reason for staying at least near to London to me.

I can't imagine trying to juggle a 1.5-2 hour commute 6 times a week, a demanding job in London, and looking after a small child (with a DH who works full time). Well I can imagine it but I can't see it lasting beyond a very exhausting year or so.

OP, if you want to keep working, I really do think you will either need to get a job in Bristol, or you will need to live half way between London and Bristol and both commute. Or you will need to persuade your DH to stay in London.

Apart from the obvious difference in cost of accommodation I an not convinced that living in London is any more expensive than living anywhere else. We live in Newcastle/Gateshead. power/phone costs are the same. food in shops the same. restaurants/theatre/cinema etc may be cheaper but having just paid £12 to see Toy Story 3 at the cinema maybe not. Public transport here is excellent but costs on a par with London - I pay £65 a month for central zone travelcard. Rates are really, really high.

But the cost of accommodation is the dealbreaker, so you can't really leave accommodation out of the equation. We all need accommodation, after all!

Our four bed cottage in South Lakes cost £210k in November and it has half as much space again as the two bed terraced house in central Cambridge that we sold in Nov for £357k.

Indeed I've just realised (with amusement and smugness!) that we paid less for our beautiful picture postcard current house than the price for which we sold our 1.5 bed bog-standard new build first flat with no outside space in Victoria Park, Hackney, back in 2006 (£225k).

Now I've pontificated enough and at far too great a length so will shut up now.

There's no way we could survive on £29k. We struggle with much more than twice that, of course it would help if we didn't have debts.... Even if you only spent £100 a week on food that's over 15% of that salary.

Bumpsadaisy, I grew up in the South Lakes too, lived there till I was 27, moved around a lot then ended up in the Home Counties.

When I lived in SLakes, I thought it was fab, had a real party lifestyle, loved the scenery and all that but tbh when I go back now I see it with totally different eyes - everything's grey (it's all made out of slate!), the weather's almost always atrocious and the people look at anyone not white (ie dh and ds) as though they've just descended from another planet. Going into somewhere like Ulverston now, it feels really run down and grim.

Everyone likes different things, of course, but I'd never go back up to Cumbria to live now - have turned into a Southern softie (still don't like London though, I'm with you on that one!)

OP - we live near Chippenham, DH works in London 3 days per week and works from home on the other 2.
He stays overnight in hotels - still cheaper than commuting 3x per week!

It's true - that London may as well be another country! I found London to be very expensive. Luckily, I was a single professional then. Now I am a single mum of one, I am so glad to be living in a city where I can access the countryside easily, whilst enjoying the benefits of city life. I manage on much less. I think it is better to take the job and live on less and make the most of things in life that are free or inexpensive until you go back to work. For anyone who hasn't lived in London, you would appear to be spoilt and once you leave, you may look back and agree!

Motheroftwoboys, no, it's not just London that's expensive, but that doesn't remove the fact that London IS expensive and so the OP's money won't go as far as in some parts of the UK.

Someone asked what she is going to do when the dc leave home?

I got an e-mail last week from some old friends who had their dc at 18. They asked me if i 'd like to join them for a girlie weekend in NY. Ha, i would love to but i still have small dcs. They are having fab time now. Bitches . It must be nice to be just in your 40s with grown up dcs and your freedom. I had the freedom and travelling in my 20s and 30s, they have it in their 40s, in the end of the day i don't think they miss out.

But to answer the OP the depedency would worry me, especially when i read some sad threads here. So if my dd wants to take that route i will hope the financial arrangment is fair.

laquitar a colleague married and had children young in the expectation that they'd enjoy life for themselves when their children had grown and moved away. She's still waiting, her eldest is 28!

Oh no, i wouldn't like this tyler!

I have just read back and... had posted in wrong thread! Sorry

These posts are fascinating - however a LOT of people seem to be living on very little and have quite low housing costs. Are people living in social housing - is that the trick? I say this as I'm in Glasgow where something like 1/3 to 1/2 the popln is... and it means the difference between paying market rates and paying much much less per month.

Zombie thread folks

From what I can see on the Office of Nat Stats website, 29k puts you on about the 70th percentile. That means that 7 out of every 10 households in the country have less than you. That means you can do it.

My Dh just took a job with a drop to this level (including bonus).

We have a three bed semi with garage gardens etc, also another house that we rent out, (but pay for it using wages and the rent goes towards doing this place up, a complete renovation) 20 odd pets, a two and three year old, a van for work, a car for us, and a beetle for fun, two year old goes to nursery full day twice a week to give me a break, (to get more renovating done!) We all eat well, have regualr day trips (no holidays at mo due to large number of pets to care for) we buy decent clothing, no designers though. hmm, cant think of anything else....I have started smoking again recently, that costs too i spose. of course we have sky and a flat screen

On top of DH wage we get childbenefit, thats it, I dont work.

Its more than do-able, we certainly dont feel hard done by or live a half life. :)

Should say, we are midlanders :)

I see you mentioned Bristol. 29k in Bristol will go so much further than 29k in london. fab city and you should be able to cut your cloth to suit your needs. try NCT sales for quality second hand baby equipment and have cheaper holidays.

Ok I admit I have not read all 13 pages

but I don't understand how OP earns no money when is apparently is self employed? Op if you want a higher standard of living, that would give you some income whilst on maternity leave even if its just smp for a few months,then could you not get a job yourself rather than be self employed, that way you would get some maternity pay whilst on leave?

It seems to me that you are relying on your partner to earn the money here - whats your involvement in earning for the family? why is up to your partner to do this and not you?

I haven't read the whole thread but I imagine the OP is getting a pasting. I have to say that you would struggle to have a reasonable quality of life and save for a deposit for even a flat in Bristol on 29K. It is virtually impossible to get even a 90% LTV mortgage as a first time buyer these days, you need about 20% deposit and prices in Bristol are high. Very high.

I see now that OP earns a good salary but I still don't understand why this salary has to stop if she moves out of london reducing the family budget to £29k.

Um, this thread is a year old and just been revived by accident by the look of it.

Idont get how you could. Borrowing 3x his salary for a mortage would be £87k, and you'd need to save say 15k for a deposit, and his take home pay would be around £1800 and assuming you need a grand to pay rent and living expenses it will take you around 2 years to save that. And where on earth can you buy a house for £87k??

Woops missed that. Wonder what the OP did?

I know some of the Bristol MN'ers have posted. But having lived there for 3 years, albeit some time ago, and going back there regularly, I do think it is quite an expensive area. 29k you will be o.k. probably. But since your latest post, which was indeed lovely, I think that considering the lifestyle your probably currently lead, on your combined salary you stated, I think maybe the drop in salary might be just too much for you to stomach. Or it does atleast require very serious consideration. which I think you are going to do, so that is good.