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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit shocked by what i saw today.

257 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 25/07/2010 22:53

I took DS's out today and shortly before we left I let the play in the splash zone.

DS2 had his shorts and t-shirt on as it was very very hot and sunny ds1 was in rolled up tracky bottoms and his t-shirt.

I was a bit shocked by a couple of things I saw.

1 was a little girl running around naked - which tbh made it difficult to take photos of DS1 and DS2 playing although i managed to avoid catching her in all but 1 photo and that one has been editted so she has now got black knickers on.

The other thing was a young girl possible 7yrs old in a tiny bikini who was crouched over the jets of the splash zone gyrating herself everytime the water shot upwards

Now while I wasn't directly watching her I could hear other people talking and finally one mentioned to her parents that this possibly wasn't the best thing for her to do in public.

I have to admit the 2nd thing was more shocking than the little girl running round.

OP posts:
saintlydamemrsturnip · 26/07/2010 13:39

I think you're hysterical jamiki. Any particular reason for such a level of paranoia?

CreepyFunbags · 26/07/2010 13:40

Gigantaur - in what manner have you worked with paedophiles? Out of interest.

Jamiki · 26/07/2010 13:40

Do you all run around in public with your fanjos on show? Do your husbands? No, just the kids who are quite clueless to the power the naked body can hold.

Why is it so offensive the suggestion that you cover up your childs genitals. The most sensitive and private parts of their bodies?

Jamiki · 26/07/2010 13:42

Gigantaur - to think I felt sorry for you about your arse issues.

tokyonambu · 26/07/2010 13:43

"you willing to offer up your own precious DCs as bait because you will be clueless when it happens and it will be your relaxed standards that helped it occur."

The argument, so far as one can discern, is that naked children at a water park will inflame the lust of paedophiles who will then proceed to abuse other children elsewhere as an outlet for their depravity.

So, women who wear short skirts in the summer, even if you are lucky enough not to be raped which would be your own fault for dressing in a manner designed to inflame rapists, you are responsible for other people being raped because your short skirt arouses such desire that rapists have to go off and find their victims elsewhere.

Or am I missing something?

tokyonambu · 26/07/2010 13:45

"No, just the kids who are quite clueless to the power the naked body can hold."

And there's always a bit of Catholic guilt on hand when we need to remind them of that power. What was that about premature sexualisation again?

bigstripeytiger · 26/07/2010 13:46

Jamiki

Even if a woman did 'run around in public with their fanjo on show' it would not be an excuse for someone to be overcome by 'the power the naked body can hold'

miso · 26/07/2010 13:47

If anything, Jamiki, your attitude is positively promoting the idea that an innocent naked child is to be viewed as sexual.

How do you feel about that?

porcamiseria · 26/07/2010 13:49

It makes me so sad that we can't let toddlers run around nudey. they like being nude and FFS its the only time of life when (most) people can enjoy it !

Gigantaur · 26/07/2010 13:50

Arse issues???

Creepy - when i was at Uni i did a placment at a rehabilitation clinic for Paedophiles.
I worked with those that had both been referred by court as they had been found with images, those who had actually abused children and those who had never acted upon their instincts but who were deeply troubled over their paedophilic thoughts and urges.

it was deeply fascintating though emotionally pretty hard going.

GypsyMoth · 26/07/2010 13:50

jamiki you seem to 'know' alot about how a paedophile thinks!!?most odd....

saintlydamemrsturnip · 26/07/2010 13:53

I think a grown woman's body is slightly different to a child's.

GypsyMoth · 26/07/2010 13:54

i kinda worked with one too....he murdered a child on my beat,well just off it actually,got a call up there with the sergeant to find the body.....usual police procedure then ensued with cid etc...back at the station i was handing in radio,charging battery etc and went to custody suite with another officer,just to see what a real live paedophile looked like!

he looked normal enough to me....

somethinganything · 26/07/2010 14:10

saintly touché! Very very few people find 3YO bodies sexy and I don't think we should allow the way we bring up our children to be defined by the potential actions of that tiny minority of people.

Gigantaur · 26/07/2010 14:11

oh there is definitly no "look" of a paedophile.

They come in all shapes and sizes, all social backgrounds and levels of intelligence.

One of the guys i worked with was only 23. he was a typicla young lad, the kind you would expectto be a hit with the girls.

he had never touched a child but was so disgusted by his feelings that he attemtped to cut off his own penis. he ended up in hopsital for a lot of surgery.
he came out and was sent to us for rehabilitation. sadly he killed himself within 4 months of his referral.

not all of those with urges are the evil child snatchers walking around with greasy hair and dirty mac's that people assume.

scottishmummy · 26/07/2010 14:21

agree.in fact the plausible,good social veneer are case in point as no one ever expects it to be respectable Mr so-and-so

cannot over pathologise this.dysfunction doesnt necessarily have a look.plenty so called pillars of community beat shite out their wifes

CreepyFunbags · 26/07/2010 14:25

Gigantaur - that must have been very draining work for you.
I didn't know there were rehabilitation clinics. I had never thought about it before really.

porcamiseria · 26/07/2010 14:27

Its hard

my Mum worked with Peadophiles and almost without exception thyey were also abused as children, so go figure....

we never hear about stories about the young man you mentioned Gig, just about the Roy Whitings.

on the other hand, you dont want to go into the zone thats say they are discrimintaed against, ie like homosexuals

I dont know enough to venture an opinion

but I DONT think they are lurking on every corner

Gigantaur · 26/07/2010 14:34

I firmly believe that quite a fair number commit suicide or abuse drugs in order to hide how they actually feel. I think they die without ever telling a soul.

It was incredibly draining but aslo the most fascinating work i have ever done. I wouldn't say it was rewarding as tbh the aim is to try and get them to a point where they are no longer a danger to children. Thats a claim that could only ever be allplied to a very small number of them.

I am often on thee threads being called a Peddo sympethisor. Its not true. But i do understand that there is a very big difference between the predatory abusers and those who struggle with something that to them is totally natural.

It is also true that a large number have been abused themselves. It leads them to have a very scewed vision of the sexual world. there are some that are simply born a Paedophile. for them it is exactly the same as homosexuality. they have no control over it. they mostly understand that it is wrong and that they should never act upon those urges. Sadly it is mostly those that end up with serously bad mental health and will often self harm or attempt suicide.

It is a big step to say i sympethise with Paedophiles. But i certainly dont think that they (on the whole- there are alwasy exceptions) are evil.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 26/07/2010 14:36
MickyLee · 26/07/2010 14:37

Well I love naked children.. my own mostly of course. And in the house they are always half dressed. My 3yr old DD often eat breakfast with just her t'shirt on and my 1 yr old DS runs away in sight of a nappy. In fact my DH standing joke is that he is going to chop DS's 'winkle' off and eat it up as my kisses it.. We all laugh. We are certainly not attracted to children.
My DH was brought up not seeing anyones skin in his family and was shocked at me putting DD when a newborn in the bath with him. What a terrible way for a loving family to be like when the have to be ashamed of what the have.
Sorry slightly off topic I know. But getting to the point.. It is not wrong to let children be naked in a suitable enviroment, if someone has a problem with it then IMO it is their problem

Gigantaur · 26/07/2010 14:38

as am i chickens. the only issue i have with my arse is the fact its so blardy big.

not entirely sure why jamiki would sympethise with that. although maybe it is because s/he too are a giant asre

scottishmummy · 26/07/2010 14:41

arse issues?haha imagine checking in for arse therapy.get to talk out yer arse

what an odd thing to be dug up on

porcamiseria · 26/07/2010 14:42

thanks for sharing that Gig. some different perspective helps and informs

Gigantaur · 26/07/2010 14:42

well exactly SM. Especially as i am fairly sure i have a wealth of shite people could throw back at me if they so desired.