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Original poster

To be a bit shocked by what i saw today.

257 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 25/07/2010 22:53

I took DS's out today and shortly before we left I let the play in the splash zone.

DS2 had his shorts and t-shirt on as it was very very hot and sunny ds1 was in rolled up tracky bottoms and his t-shirt.

I was a bit shocked by a couple of things I saw.

1 was a little girl running around naked - which tbh made it difficult to take photos of DS1 and DS2 playing although i managed to avoid catching her in all but 1 photo and that one has been editted so she has now got black knickers on.

The other thing was a young girl possible 7yrs old in a tiny bikini who was crouched over the jets of the splash zone gyrating herself everytime the water shot upwards

Now while I wasn't directly watching her I could hear other people talking and finally one mentioned to her parents that this possibly wasn't the best thing for her to do in public.

I have to admit the 2nd thing was more shocking than the little girl running round.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 26/07/2010 12:52

ok from what i saw and the only way i can describe the gyrating, as i said she was right in front of where i sat to have a drink was lets see you know the music videos where women bend their knees and stick their backsides out gyrating? well thats wat she was doing, she wasnt sitting on it.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 26/07/2010 12:55

sorry pressed post too soon.

As some will have seen from the internet photo the area was small so it was difficult for anyone not to see what she was doing

OP posts:
tokyonambu · 26/07/2010 13:01

"TLE does not want her children running around with no clothes on there is another thread where barbie is banned because it may prematurely sexualise a 4yo child"

Yes. Exactly. Because automatically associating nudity with sex is premature sexualisation. Telling children (by which I mean "three" not "thirteen") that there's something naughty or shameful about running around a beach naked is about adult projections.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 26/07/2010 13:08

I do not sexualise children I do admit to the fact that I am or rather can be very cautious. I don't like seeing little ones running around naked in public places because you never know who is lurking, it could be nobody it could, by the same token, be someone dangerous.
It could be the aunt,uncle,mum,dad,family friend or complete stranger that is there...doesn't make it any better or worse.

My son was abused on one occassion by my cousins then boyfriend in our own home when i left my now ex and her b'f with her son and my son.

So yes I know it can be someone the child knows.

OP posts:
slushy · 26/07/2010 13:10

I agree tokyo but I also think projecting that barbie will make people feel inadequate and that barbie sexualises young children is the same thing a adult projecting their feelings onto a inanimate object that to a child is just a toy IMO but the op there didn't get the kicking this op has and to me it is the same issue.

GypsyMoth · 26/07/2010 13:11

it usually IS someone the child knows

Gigantaur · 26/07/2010 13:13

i think that explains a lot TLE

your own experiences have left you with a much more guarded view of society. it is to be expected following such an event.

there is nothing wrong with being a little cautious. just aknowledge that others will not be as concerned by it as you.

my biggest worry about a child running around naked would be sunburn tbh.

even if there was a "nasty man" on the beach, unless i allowed my child to run off with them they couldn't harm them.

BitOfFun · 26/07/2010 13:14

Really? How awful- I didn't know that. That must have been very traumatic for him. And you.

I know you may see this as off-topic, but did you see my question about violent 18+ films? I am trying to understand why you think it would be ok to read very age-inappropriate stuff as long as you were there. I honestly don't get it.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 26/07/2010 13:19

BoF,

it is not something i talk about tbh. there is more to it than just what I said but as i say not something discussed.

The way I see it is he wanted to read the book, and I had an agreement with him that he could read it in the living room where i was, he could ask questions and if he or I felt he was getting too upset by it then it needed to go back on the shelf until he was older. As it is it is on the shelf in the living room still open on the last page he read - which tbh is not that much.
Last night he was reading "I am David" a book he has read many times over the last 5 years.

As for films no he doesn't watch 18's because I rarely watch them and 18+ games I don't think i own one.

OP posts:
somethinganything · 26/07/2010 13:21

Don't have time to read all 184 messages! But can't believe anyone would think it was odd for a 3-year-old to run around naked. DD1 is 2.7 but looks about a year older and I'd think nothing of letting her run through a water fountain starkers. Would hate to think that people feel I'm somehow leaving her prey to paedophiles. Weird.

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 26/07/2010 13:22

Slushy, Thank you for your support however i don't see it as having got a kicking. The ladies on here have known me long enough to know that I will say if i think they are being ott lol...I am not backwards in coming forwards. But there was also the factor of what happened to DS1 that they didn't know and therefore didn't understand my guarded ways.

OP posts:
Jamiki · 26/07/2010 13:22

TLE - Your best bet is to stop looking for logic in this place.

MN is a taunting ground when it comes to this issue.

It is too hard for a lot of the posters to accept that

a) Paedophiles gee themselves up with images of naked children and then act upon REAL LIVE CHILDREN.

plus

b) Any child running around naked in public or behaving in a sexual fashion (gyrating over a water jet) puts them in a potentially dangerous situation.

Hurrah for all those liberated women who let their kids do this in public. You are soo admirable putting children at risk. You are as bad as men who hit on girls.

It's not the 60's or 70's where life was so much more innocent. It's 2010 where nasty is accepted as OK for kids.

Look after your children. Don't be bullied into dumbing down your standards.

These threads sicken me.

And BTW cops and pool guards just wouldn't know what they're on about would they?

Original poster
TheLadyEvenstar · 26/07/2010 13:22

Something, you really should read all because you will see i have said I over reacted.

OP posts:
somethinganything · 26/07/2010 13:23

Sorry TLE just saw your more recent post about your DS being abused. That's awful and of course would make you more cautious. But I really do think little kids should be allowed to run around naked without people reading too much into it.

Gigantaur · 26/07/2010 13:25

jamiki - put your daily mail down. there's a good girl.

BitOfFun · 26/07/2010 13:25

Jamiki- that is a frankly bizarre post. Do you really believe there is more paedophiliac abuse in 2010 than in tbe seventies?

bigstripeytiger · 26/07/2010 13:26

Jamiki

"b) Any child running around naked in public or behaving in a sexual fashion (gyrating over a water jet) puts them in a potentially dangerous situation."

How does that put them in a dangerous situation?

"It's not the 60's or 70's where life was so much more innocent. It's 2010 where nasty is accepted as OK for kids."

Can you show us some evidence that children were less at risk of sexual abuse in the 60's and 70's than today?

somethinganything · 26/07/2010 13:28

TLE yes, sorry - x-post.

But Jamiki I think your post is really unhelpful and complete overkill.

"It's not the 60's or 70's where life was so much more innocent."

Yeah, that's right it was so much better in those days ? no child abuse whatsoever

How completely ridiculous to suggest that small kids running around naked are being put in a potentially dangerous situation. And what a horrendous world view

somethinganything · 26/07/2010 13:31

Just cannot get over that post Jamiki

"You are as bad as men who hit on girls"

what a vile, screwed-up think to say.

Gigantaur · 26/07/2010 13:32

Jamiki - your post is akin to saying that any woman that wears make up is attracting rapists.

or anyone that has a purse in their bag is attracting thieves.

you quite clearly get all your knoweldeg of "peedos" from the media.

Take it from someone that actually has worked with "peedo's", your child is much safer running naked around a swimming pool/park than they are fully clothed at a friends house.

your post is both ignorant and offensiv

foureleven · 26/07/2010 13:33

Jamiki, I don't take kindly to being told I am as bad as a man who hits on a girl.

And in reference to your 'B' point. When my child is running around naked demanding all this attention from the hundreds of local peodophiles, I am watching her closely at all times so she is in no dangerous situation, thanks.

Jamiki · 26/07/2010 13:33

Maybe your right BOF, maybe not, but are you willing to offer up your own precious DCs as bait because you will be clueless when it happens and it will be your relaxed standards that helped it occur.

You collectively not personally.

miso · 26/07/2010 13:34

Jamiki - you're barely a step away from saying that toddlers on the beach naked deserve to be abused. Can you not see where your mindset is leading you?

Don't be such a prat.

BitOfFun · 26/07/2010 13:34

"We live in a decaying age. Young people no longer respect
their parents. They are rude and impatient. They frequently
inhabit taverns and have no self control."
Inscription, 6000 year-old Egyptian tomb
"When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly disrespectful and impatient of restraint".
Hesiod, 8th century BC

"What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They ignore the law. They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions. Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them?"
Plato, 4th Century BC

"The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint... As for the girls, they are forward, immodest and unladylike in speech, behavior and dress."
Attributed to Peter the Hermit, AD 12743

Slightly off-topic, but worth it to remind ourselves that things are seldom as bad as we think. Or perhaps it just gets worse and worse every year- you decide

Gigantaur · 26/07/2010 13:35

so TLE is at fault for her child being abused then?

you really are an ignorant and quite stupid person Jamiki.