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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To think that Denise Fergus should have stayed at home?

385 replies

2blessed2bstressed · 23/07/2010 13:38

I don't understand why she (mum of Jamie Bulger) had to go and sit in court when John Venables was being sentenced for his more recent crime. I will never forget the horror of hearing what happened to her little boy, and I know that she will never get over it - but how can it possibly help her to keep appearing on tv and making statements about what happens now? She seems to feel she has a right to be told all about everything, and while I can sympathise with her opinion to a certain extent I don't know that she does really. I saw her being interviewed when he was arrested earlier in the year and she said she'd had to keep her children off school because of the publicity - but she seems to be generating a lot of it herself.
Please don't think me hard hearted, it's just that I don't get it.

OP posts:
desanimaux · 25/07/2010 21:56

Sources?
Why, yes, of course........let me get my address book and give away my identity and that of my friends and aquaintances!
Swap you for your sources that say Denise Gergus is a paragon of maternal virtue.

ThatVikRinA22 · 25/07/2010 21:57

desanimaux, people do this all the time, people let their children out to play or let them run about in shops but surely your not suggesting she in some way asked for it? how could anyone foresee such a thing happening?

your point about the two lads who did it - i do get - i said the same thing - why wait until they are murderous little yobs to put money in - the money should be put in much much earlier and prevention is better than cure,

but please stop and examine what your are saying because it sounds so callous.

desanimaux · 25/07/2010 21:57

"Stuck to her side"?
Last I saw, that new-fangled innovation called reins had made it up to Liverpool.

desanimaux · 25/07/2010 21:59

No. No one asks for that, or deserves it.
But it pisses me off that the line is being drawn between 'Good' and 'Evil'.

FallingWithStyle · 25/07/2010 22:00

I dont give a fuck if she's a paragon of maternal virtue or not. Has fuck all to do with what happened to her son. Twat.

2shoes · 25/07/2010 22:01

god this thread is just getting sick

AgentZigzag · 25/07/2010 22:01

An adult or a parent would never think such a thing about the mother of a murdered child, I can't believe you're either.

Go and ask your mum and dad about the time you were out of their sight, because it will have happened.

You could ask them now, I'm assuming you still live at home.

Nancy66 · 25/07/2010 22:02

Desanimaux - your sources are just local gossips. Half of Liverpool claims to have been in the shopping centre that day - bit like the millions of people that all claim they were there when the Berlin wall came down...they're fantastists, talking bollocks.

No doubt you've heard the story that Denise was shoplifting a the time, right? Also bollocks.

FallingWithStyle · 25/07/2010 22:02

"But it pisses me off that the line is being drawn between 'Good' and 'Evil'."

I dont follow how that leads you to attack Denise Fergus.

LadyBlaBlah · 25/07/2010 22:02

Oh but lesanimaux they sound like just my type of people - I would love to sit and chat to you and your friends. What fun we could have discussing what perfect parents we are, the types who don't chat while shopping. Meanwhile we could sneer at those whose children have been murdered because they were not looking after them properly, or were chatting while they shopped.

I am begging you for you address book, plllllllease.

desanimaux · 25/07/2010 22:06

"good"= mother going about her business, takes eye off child for ONE SECOND.
"evil"= feral kids, always been bad 'uns.

In another thread you may be posting this AIBU and quoting 'the Underclass'

Hypocrite much?

desanimaux · 25/07/2010 22:07

Nancy66
How do you know my sources?

thefirstmrsDeVere · 25/07/2010 22:08

Her child is dead.

She has pretty much dedicated her life to trying to get justice for her boy.

She is obsessed with the killers of her child.

Of course she fucking is!

I know many, many bereaved parents.

One has spent the years since her son was killed in an industrial accident trying to prevent the same thing happening to anyone else's child.
Several have set up charities in their children's names to fund research into the disease's that took them.
One lobbies councils to fix lethal pot holes because her boy was killed when his bike went into one.
One couple spend huge amounts of time educating people about safe driving because their son was killed by a bitch on her mobile driving like a twat.
One couple try desperatelty to inform children of the dangers of talking on their mobiles whilst crossing the road.
I could take up the whole thread telling you about what grieving parents do in order to make some sort of sense out of their child's death.

I bother people about giving blood and registering to give Bone Marrow. Not much but I have plans for more one day.

I DONT think that anyone else has the right to rant and rave and dribble over the boys that killed James but she DOES. If she wants to go to every court case and know every detail its up to her.

As for suggesting its her fault her boy was killed - fuck right off. So many one in a million things happened that day - he was out of her sight for a short while, two boys somehow met and became a murderous couple, they were there on that day, they decided to 'hurt a baby' on THAT day, they saw him, they took him, no one thought to question them even when he was seen by several people, in distress etc etc.

I know so many good people who have lost their children in ways you dont think will every happen to YOU. Newsflash - things DO happen to YOU.

LadyBlaBlah · 25/07/2010 22:08

Have you taken your tablets today lesanimaux?

Nancy66 · 25/07/2010 22:09

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FallingWithStyle · 25/07/2010 22:10

Whether venables and thompson are/were evil, misguided, let down, victims themselves is all OPINION - you are perfectly entitled to yours. The debate has been had countless times and will continue.

But dont try and compare that to your comments about Denise Fergus. You are spouting unsubstantiated nonsense as fact.

Huge difference. It might make you feel a little less twattish to point the finger but you're clutching at straws.

desanimaux · 25/07/2010 22:11

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FallingWithStyle · 25/07/2010 22:11

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FallingWithStyle · 25/07/2010 22:12

You said they were friends and acquaintances = local gossips.

LadyBlaBlah · 25/07/2010 22:12

Were they local? And were they gossiping?

I think you will find the answer to those questions is yes and yes

SalFresco · 25/07/2010 22:14

thefirstMrsDevere - this is why I don't understand how anyone can "not get" why Denise Fergus would want to continue her involvement in the case of the abduction and murder of her son, and her continued "interest" if that is the right word, in his killers. Feeling the need to "do something" is natural and commonplace, and surely we all know people who have reacted to tragedy and loss in the ways you have described. It's just that her particular tragedy is also going to always be of huge media interest.

desanimaux · 25/07/2010 22:14

I think you'll find that they worked in the shops in question and what happened before he was lured away happened countless times before. And continues to happen every day.

LadyBlaBlah · 25/07/2010 22:15

Do people like you ever think - "mmmm this opinion I have seems to be getting a lot of negative feedback, maybe I might be thinking about all this wrong, and probably should take some time to reassess it" ?

No

Thought not

SalFresco · 25/07/2010 22:15

Your sources don't exist. You are making them up to fit your crappy argument. And you know it, and deep down probably feel like a bit of a twat.

noddyholder · 25/07/2010 22:16

This is what happens with the tabloid press and their over load of personal information and photos of the victims and the perpetrators of horrific crimes.We know too much about these people and it is presented in such a way that we feel we know them!If the people involved remained faceless and we were prsented only with the facts of the case then we could actually debate without it becoming like this