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AIBU?

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Original poster

to want my little boy to enjoy being a little boy?

152 replies

thisisyesterday · 21/07/2010 20:40

ds1 is 5 and a bit. He still quite likes watching Thomas with his little brother, building big railways with his wooden trainset, playing with mud and sticks in the garden, helping me bake in the kitchen....

but he keeps coming home from school saying "D and G say Thomas is for babies. they watch Dr Who, Dr Who is cooler"

ffs. thjey're FIVE years old! dr who??? really??
I feel so sad that he can't just enjoy being a little boy and doing stuff little boys like because his "friends" at school are telling him that it's babyish and that programmes aimed at adults are so much "cooler"

he's so easily led bless him, and he has never seen Dr Who in his life, but now talk is all on daleks and all sorts

I wasn't expecting this for a while yet

OP posts:
JustKeepSwimming · 21/07/2010 21:48

Am wondering (if we put aside our own personal lines in the sand for a mo) if it's more that some parents & therefore their children feel that these things are mutually exclusive?

So when their DS gets into Power Rangers (for eg), there is an understanding in their house that CBeebies is for babies and now history?

This is then passed on to our DC who would be happy to carry on watching the 'baby' stuff as well as the older stuff?

PrincessBoo · 21/07/2010 21:48

I'm with Morloth and co.

DS loves Dr Who, he has a sonic screwdriver which he uses to 'heal' us with, and he and I regularly play a game when I am Amy and he rescues me. It's great,

He is 2 1/2. Go on, tell me what a rubbush irresponsible parent I am.

Oh - tried to get him to watch Thomas. It bores him rigid. He likes Bob the Builder though. Do I win a prize?

peeringintothevoid · 21/07/2010 21:49

Lionstar I'm glad to see the mother of a girl on this thread too! My DD was massively, obsessively into Thomas, and as Cory notes, the whole revenge, jealousy, bitchin', sneerin' meanness was not necessarily what you'd expect from a man of the cloth!

DD still hangs out almost entirely with boys (she's 7), but although there was much talk of pokemon, and she has a power ranger, thankfully she's much too obsessed with wii endless ocean 2 to bother with tv or films.

Hulababy · 21/07/2010 21:49

I find it alarming that so many of the Y1 boys in my class went to see the new Iron Man films. This is a 12A film and so not appropriate IMO. I haven't seen it but DH has and says it is definitely not for little boys of 5/6yos.

Yet - these ames boys are still little boys in other was. One comes to school in his Sporticus hooded top, they love playing in the role play areas, they will sit and hold the soft toys in the quiet corner, etc.

hanaka88 · 21/07/2010 21:50

YANBU...at all, kids should be kids, they are expected ro grow up way too fast...Dr who is a bit violent for small children.

Original poster
thisisyesterday · 21/07/2010 21:50

cory it isn't about it being more mature

it's about them being exposed to adult tv that is full of violence and fighting etc etc

when i hear what this boy D says i just think well, that's kind of a direct consequence of a lot of the things he sees on tv

boisterous is one thing, claiming you want to get a gun and kill someone is quite another!

the references to thomas and dr who in my op were just examples of this, not the be-all and end-all.

it's partly that I wish he was allowed to grow up at his own pace, without being pressured into liking or not liking certain things simply because some parents choose to let their kids watch unsuitable tv

OP posts:
Hulababy · 21/07/2010 21:51

Mind you - not keen on Thomas myself; some of the episodes are very strange. DH reckons some are quite sinister. Fortunately DD wasn;t into Thomas.

UnquietDad · 21/07/2010 21:51

The Sarah Jane Adventures on CBBC (featuring one of the Doctor's old companions, with some DW crossover aliens and set in the same universe) is a good "bridge" to Doctor Who. It is a bit scary, but obviously a children's programme and not violent, and nobody ever dies.

Morloth · 21/07/2010 21:52

Maybe JustKeepSwimming, that is definitely not the case in our house.

You do "lose" them though around 4ish I think. This is when they realise you are not the font of all knowledge and start to spread their wings and really interact with other kids outside of your sphere of influence.

It is bittersweet.

Original poster
thisisyesterday · 21/07/2010 21:52

and you know, i laughed but i do agree about the sneering engines

at least they don't end it all in a brawl or shoot-out tho!

we were sayinh just the other night how mean everyone was to poor old Bulstrode, because even tho he was grumpy it wasn't really his fault the trucks fell in him...

OP posts:
Original poster
thisisyesterday · 21/07/2010 21:54

bittersweet, it is that morloth, it really is

OP posts:
Morloth · 21/07/2010 21:59

When listening to the boys play I love how none of them want to be the "Baddy" (oh how I wish the world really was simply goodies and baddies!).

So you end up with a pack of Power Rangers, spiderman, a transformer and maybe Darth Vader thrown in (who is of course a goody now - cause his Luke's Dad you know) and they invent a baddie out of a tree or something for them to go fight.

Cracks me right up.

SacharissaCripslock · 21/07/2010 22:01

See, I really don't mind what other parents let their kids watch but I do mind them not teaching their children that you don't sneer at other boys/girls and call them babies if they don't watch the same stuff.

My 5 year old is madly into Ghostbusters right now (it's a pg but some scary bits) and I know lots of people wouldn't let their children watch it but my DS would get a right talking to if he told anyone that they were a baby and uncool because they weren't allowed to see it.

weblette · 21/07/2010 22:01

YANBU I have a train obsessed 6 yo. He's always loved Thomas - could name most of them from when he was 18mo, has loads of Brio and will still happily play with it for hours.

He just isn't interested by Dr Who or Pokemon or anything like that. And personally I don't think DW is appropriate for 6yrs, 8 maybe.

He's actually moved from Thomas onto proper steam trains - his idea of heaven is a day at a steam gala or the National Rail Museum in York.

His friends view him as something of an oddity but don't shun him for it, if anything they respect the fact he loves something different to them. I know how lucky we are for that!

cory · 21/07/2010 22:05

Once you have older siblings it is very difficult to keep all the viewing/reading/conversational material to one age range only. Or do you stop siblings from playing together? I was introduced to a lot of literature (some of it probably unsuitable) by raiding my big brother's book shelves. And tried to join in with whatever games the big boys were playing. I don't think that ruined my childhood at all.

Doesn't have to lead to an obsession with violence. My ds likes watching Dr Who but has never played killing games in his life as far as I can make out; he hates that kind of thing and always has done.

zapostrophe · 21/07/2010 22:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

thefirstmrsDeVere · 21/07/2010 22:09

To say my DS is obsessed with Dr Who would be an understatement. His idea of 'slipping into something more comfortable' is to put on a suit, bow tie, braces and greatcoat. He does this most evenings.

He is 7 but has loved Dr Who since it reappeared.

He is much younger than the average 7 year old and has ASD and LD.

So loving Dr Who doesnt have to be the sign of the end of childhood

He still loves Cebeebies and his other favourites include Nanny McPhee and Superman.

Morloth · 21/07/2010 22:09

I have never heard DS1 talking about killing things or wanting to kill anyone in a game.

We allow toy guns (though they are all of the laser variety here). But I actually do the whole: "Never point any gun at a person, ever, even if it is a toy" thing - because I was taught the same thing.

Morloth · 21/07/2010 22:12

thefirstmrsDeVere "His idea of 'slipping into something more comfortable' is to put on a suit, bow tie, braces and greatcoat."

That is just a whole other level of awesome IMOO.

Bow ties are cool.

preghead · 21/07/2010 22:14

SacharissaCripslock, I am so with you. This one kid and his family in my ds's class are the bane of my life. It is not the kids fault but he has single-handedly made my gorgeous sweet little 5y old question nearly every toy he likes playing with, the colour pink and introduced the following crap to him:

You shouldn't touch a baby in a pram if it has different color skin to you.
Breasts aren't called breast they are boobies and are naughty!
Pink is for girls.
Boys are better than girls at all sports, always.
CBeebies (which he still loves) is for babies.
They're not pants they're knickers and if you see a girls that means she wants to make a baby with you.

Mind you, this is the kid whose father said at his party, at the top of his voice in front of all the kids and parents, why the hell do you have a Dolls House in your playroom when you only have noys, are you trying to make them gay or something? so I really shouldn't be surprised.

I just tell my ds that some people think these silly things but that we don't agree and hope he will grow up with enough intelligence and positive role models to make his own mind up.

Morloth · 21/07/2010 22:17

Wow preghead that stuff is just crazy - that poor little boy.

Bramshott · 21/07/2010 22:22

I think there is a great sense of wanting to be cool and fit in with the big ones when you are 4 or 5 and just starting school. IME it wears off a bit once they get to 6 and they relax a bit!

Mind you, my 3 year old DD knows all about Ben10 from my CM's 4 year old DS and I just laugh at her ! She has no idea what it really is of course (and neither probably does he!)

preghead · 21/07/2010 22:23

I know, I know - same kid who introduced him to power rangers in Nursery at 2 and had to be banned from bringing toy guns to the Nursery as it caused so much trouble. Nice enough kid as well, just very different family values to ours.

It is hard and I am aware I am possibly being PFB precious but I really didn't think all these issues would be coming up for discussion so soon. You can't control who they interact with once they start school (a very nice one in a very trad middle-class area BTW)

peeringintothevoid · 21/07/2010 22:51

Preghead am for you, especially about the ignorant dad. I hope your boy resists all of that crap and carries on watching cbeebies and enjoying whatever toys he likes.

preghead · 21/07/2010 22:57

me too, thanks, peer pressure is a powerful thing, even at this age. I take comfort in the idea that it is parental influence that still has the greatest influence at this age. God knows what happens when they are teenagers!