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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want my little boy to enjoy being a little boy?

152 replies

thisisyesterday · 21/07/2010 20:40

ds1 is 5 and a bit. He still quite likes watching Thomas with his little brother, building big railways with his wooden trainset, playing with mud and sticks in the garden, helping me bake in the kitchen....

but he keeps coming home from school saying "D and G say Thomas is for babies. they watch Dr Who, Dr Who is cooler"

ffs. thjey're FIVE years old! dr who??? really??
I feel so sad that he can't just enjoy being a little boy and doing stuff little boys like because his "friends" at school are telling him that it's babyish and that programmes aimed at adults are so much "cooler"

he's so easily led bless him, and he has never seen Dr Who in his life, but now talk is all on daleks and all sorts

I wasn't expecting this for a while yet

OP posts:
desertgirl · 21/07/2010 21:20

DS just had a Spiderman cake (his request) for his 4th birthday. I felt a little bit about it - but like others, he has never seen either Spiderman or Ben 10 on television but knows about them from nursery and gets excited about them.

I asked him what Ben 10 did (I still don't really know!) and got lots of fake punching the air and 'pow' type noises, (so decided not to investigate further!). He's still perfectly happy watching JimJam (our closest equivalant to Cbeebies) and things like Angelina Ballerina though so I guess the peer pressure hasn't completely won yet.

JustKeepSwimming · 21/07/2010 21:21

Maybe Dr Who isn't as bad as some other things - tbh i'm not a fan so i've never really watched much of it.

I have a mum-friend from antenatal classes, she has let her DS (also 4) watch Star Wars films since he was tiny.
I find that waaay over the line.

BeenBeta · 21/07/2010 21:23

Have not watched Dr Who in a few years but it just didnt seem as scary as when I was a kid. I used to hide behind the sofa at age 8. I had nigtmares about Cybermen for several years.

thisisyesterday - I know DS2 loved Thomas until he was about 6 and then suddenly left it behind. Maybe your DS is doing the same.

The sad thing that really got to me was when DS2 (age 8) stopped holding my hand to and from school. However, if none of his friends are around he will still slip his hand in mine if he is tired or worried.

Morloth · 21/07/2010 21:24

We have done Star Wars and Jurassic Park and Indiana Jones. DS is 6yo. You have not yet been assailed by a stormtrooper on the way to the bathroom?

Hot Fuzz and Hell Boy cross my personal line. But that is what it is all about, personal lines.

You think it is a loss of childhood, I think it is part of childhood as they were a part of mine.

RhinestoneCowgirl · 21/07/2010 21:24

I love Dr Who myself, and I don't really have a problem with Spiderman. DS hasn't seen the films, he's just a kind of folk hero that he seems to have picked up by osmosis. Mainly he likes having his face-painted as Spiderman and doing Spiderman hands.

Morloth · 21/07/2010 21:26

DS1 has some spiderman comics and has seen the cartoon version, but he hasn't seen the movies as I think they are too old for him. Which brings me to a point that gets right up my nose.

So much of this stuff is made from comics and the marketing is aimed at kids, but they can't watch half of the bloody movies because they are way to adult.

Either make it an adult movie and market it appropriately or make it a kid's movie if you are going to want to sell them all the crap.

Original poster
thisisyesterday · 21/07/2010 21:28

it isn't just about thomas or just about dr who tho

i dunno, i think at 5 it's totally unnecessary to be seeing all this violence and unpleasantness
i don't want to, and try hard not to, baby him... i do want him to grow up. but i just don't think that it's really necessary for him to be watching adult tv -programmes or films

he asked about star wars and we let him watch the first one but he said it was boring.
some of them are 12s aren't they?

OP posts:
cory · 21/07/2010 21:32

The unpleasantness was the main reason I was glad when Thomas came to an end tbh. All those ghastly tanks sneering at each other and the constant bullying. Ds, who is a gentle soul, hated it; he quite likes Dr Who though. Implausible monsters trying to take over the world= no problem; bullying= scary.

RhinestoneCowgirl · 21/07/2010 21:34

thisisyesterday - I agree with you about violent tv/films, especially at an age where children are unsure about what's real/not real. When DS comes out with aggressive stuff I do challenge him.

Morloth · 21/07/2010 21:34

DS1 hates Finding Nemo, scares the crap out of him when the Mum is killed. I agree with cory about the way the trains speak to each other as well.

feedthegoat · 21/07/2010 21:34

I am obviously a terrible parent as ds (4) loves Star Wars and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as well as Thomas, Bob the Builder, etc. To be honest naughty Norman Price worries me far more than a couple of inept Storm Troopers.

Children (boys and girls) often play boisterous games whether or not they watch such tv and I think this is part of normal childish behaviour. I honestly don't think it is a problem as long as it doesn't get out of hand.

Star Wars is a kids film for god sakes. Easy as it is to forget when there are folks like my dh and his friends about about.

MrsRhettButler · 21/07/2010 21:35

dd (4) loves dr who (she did cry when tennant regenerated though!) but she now loves amy pond... it is definitely about personal lines, as she also loves spiderman and i don't see anything wrong with letting her watch it either...

hell boy though!!!

mind you, god knows what she watches while i'm at work and dp is with her!

cory · 21/07/2010 21:36

I don't get this idea that once you enjoy something more mature it's the end of your childhood though. Ime mature and sensible children can recognise that you can enjoy lots of different things. Dd was enjoying Fellowship of the Rings and the Owl Who Was Afraid of the Dark at the same age. I don't see a contradiction, both good books (though I'd say the Owl is actually slightly better of its kind).

preghead · 21/07/2010 21:36

i know, i know ......

Mine now says I can't use pink pens anymore Mummy because such and such says pink is for girls ........

GroovyGretel · 21/07/2010 21:36

Well, I used to take the film rating seriously, so let ds (5) watch Star Wars (though, if I'm honest that was dh's decision!) as it seems to have a moral compass (ooh get me ] but no Ben10, Power Rangers, Spiderman, Ironman etc.

Then, the other day he was browsing the dvds and said "can I watch this, it's a pg!" (he knows that 12 is completely out of the question).

So I looked, and then nearly fell over. It was Lord of the Rings, Fellowship of the Ring!

ffs, how can that be a pg?

Oh, and only episode 3 of Star Wars is a 12, the rest are pg (as is Indiana Jones)

Morloth · 21/07/2010 21:38

True cory I can hear DS1 reading his Paddington Bear books right now (he can read!).

When we got back from the park he watched a couple of Ben 10s.

Once again, not mutually exclusive.

I like Shakespeare and also have my own light sabre for playing with.

feedthegoat · 21/07/2010 21:38

Thisisyesterday, the original Star Wars films are all classified U.

Ds hasn't seen the new ones yet but I belive the first two are either U or PG and the third is a 12. For this reason he has not seen them.

I agree with Morloth on the whole issue.

Lionstar · 21/07/2010 21:39

My 3yo DD (and a total tomboy) likes a strange mix of stuff - likes Peppa Pig and Thomas, but also heavily into superheroes, especially Spiderman. She hasn't (and won't for some time yet) seen them on TV or the films, but I see no harm in her having the odd figure of Wolverine etc. She currently drags her Spiderman (10") and talking Buzz Lightyear everywhere with her . She has picked up her obsession from a couple of 5 year old boys she is close to.

I was very sad the other day though. We were out shopping and walked past some young boys with toy guns. She said "I want one of those" so I asked her what they were as I have been quite careful about limiting her exposure to such violence, and she replied "those sticks which shoot power, and kill people" So she didn't have a name, but knew what they do - I'm thinking influence from nursery. I guess they pick these things up eventually, but I'm sad about it.

Morloth · 21/07/2010 21:41

DS has only seen the old Star Wars movies because the new ones are crap and I haven't bought them.

No chance I would let him watch Lord of the Rings, or Harry Potter for that matter because I know they would scare him.

Morloth · 21/07/2010 21:43

Wolverine is strictly for Mummy.

X-men comics are OK, but not the movies.

preghead · 21/07/2010 21:43

they're all U apart from ep 3 which is 12 (ds is very bitter I won't let him see it as he is insistent he must know how annakin gets turned into DV - we had toact it out with light sabres). TBH I think ep 1 and 2 should prob be PG.

My 5y old is SW obsessed but still reads/watches Thomas so you might have something there - tho he takes a lot of stick for it from the same stupid kid at school who says it's for babies (well it the parents who are stupid, not the child I suppose)

domesticsluttery · 21/07/2010 21:43

I am right there with you.

I have 2 DS, aged 6 and nearly 8. DS1 has never been remotely bothered about Spiderman/Ben 10/Star Wars etc, his love of Thomas and Bob the Builder just progressed to model trains and building things out of lego. DS2 is a bit more influenced by his peers and decided that he liked Star Wars etc without actually watching them When he watched them he wasn't actually that impressed, although he does have a couple of those early reader Star Wars books and a toy light sabre. I'm sure he plays Star Wars and Power Rangers with his friends at school, but at home he isn't that fussed (thankfully).

I feel the same about DD, she is 4 and has just started school. All of her friends have Bratz bags and Hannah Montana t-shirts! She still likes Angelina Ballerina and Charlie and Lola, and I'm hoping it stays that way for a good whie yet.

orienteerer · 21/07/2010 21:43

Wait until they grow out of CBeebies, some of the stuff on CBBC is dreadfull!! There's is a real gap in the market for 6-8 year olds who are too old for CBeebies (except DS who is nearly 8 loves CBeebies radio) and too young (in my opinion for the likes of Tracey Beaker.

orienteerer · 21/07/2010 21:45

...ops, must check my posts actually make sense before pressing"post"

QuantaCosta · 21/07/2010 21:46

My 5 year old love, love, love, loves, Dr Who. He started his obsession when he was about three and had a large selection of sonic screwdrivers. In fact it was almost like a comfort blanket and I had to carry a sonic screwdriver around in my handbag so we were never 'caught short' iyswim.

He is six next week and yet again he is having a Dr Who birthday cake. I can't understand why you would think a boy who likes Dr Who is somehow not 'enjoying' being a little boy. Yes he has an older brother but he is the one with the obsession in for Dr Who.

His elder brother at 3 developed an obsession with Harry Potter and to be honest I never quite established where that came from because he was too young for the books or films really?!