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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that my friend is going to make her DD terrified?

109 replies

DetectivePotato · 19/07/2010 19:46

A friend of mine used to use cats to scare her DD into doing something. Her DD was afarid of them so if she got too far away or something, my friend would say "the cat is going to get you" and her DD would run back looking terrified.

Her DD has got over the fear of cats so now my friend is using 'George'. It is a bloke they saw at a garage and her DD was afraid of him. Now my friend says "George is coming to get you" and her DD runs looking terrified.

To me, she is going to make her DD terrified of men at this rate.

OP posts:
compo · 19/07/2010 19:47
Shock
rubbersoul · 19/07/2010 19:49

I actually think that is really awful

How old is the dd?

scurryfunge · 19/07/2010 19:49

What a brainless thing to do to a child.

Original poster
DetectivePotato · 19/07/2010 19:51

She has just turned 2.

was pretty much my reaction and I had to turn away from her.

OP posts:
SacharissaCripslock · 19/07/2010 19:51

Oh, that's pretty mean of your friend.

santander · 19/07/2010 19:52

er... emotional abuse or what? She could do with a little visit from social services to wake her up to her rubbish parenting

thesunshinesbrightly · 19/07/2010 19:52

Nasty cow.

RunawayWife · 19/07/2010 19:52

Your friend should have stuck to keeping a cat as she is clearly too stupid to have a child

coventgarden · 19/07/2010 19:53

Bloody hell. .

Fruitysunshine · 19/07/2010 19:53

Talk about blatant emotional abuse.

Let's scare the cr*p out of our child to keep them under control.

rubbersoul · 19/07/2010 19:54

2 years old?! Bloody hell!

Original poster
DetectivePotato · 19/07/2010 19:54

She said she will use whatever works. She knew my opinion on the cat thing, this is far worse.

OP posts:
sapphireblue · 19/07/2010 19:55

that's an awful thing to do to a child. What kind of mother is she to scare her child into doing what she wants?!

flootshoot · 19/07/2010 19:56

My mum met a woman like this years ago. Her DD was whinging and the mother said 'if you don't stop crying a great big spider is going to come and get you'. She then turned to my mum and said 'works wonders, thats spider.'

My mum was like and said she was too gobsmacked to say anything, but she wished she had. Poor kid.

Ladyanonymous · 19/07/2010 19:57

Reminds me when I was on the way home from school a few months ago with my DC and others I collect on the school run and this mum was having a massive go at her kid going

"Do you want me to call social services and get them to come and take you away? Do you?!"

I nearly intervened but was worried she might punch me in front of the kids

thesunshinesbrightly · 19/07/2010 20:00

I would say to her 'if you dont stop i will scare the shit out of you,see how you like it'

Still . Poor little baby

thesunshinesbrightly · 19/07/2010 20:01

I would say to her 'if you dont stop i will scare the shit out of you,see how you like it'

Still . Poor little baby

Mowgli1970 · 19/07/2010 20:01

How stupid! One of my friends at work used to threaten her children by saying she'd take them to the children's home! One day they were playing up so she took them there in the car, dropped them off and drove round the corner. She came back after a minute to find them holding hands crying. Emotional abuse is the technical term for it!

Sasha02 · 19/07/2010 20:01

Apparently my nan did the same thing with my mum about policemen! She says it had no lasting effect in any way, so I don't think it's all that awful but I still put a quick stop to it when she told my 3yo son to be good because the policeman was watching!!

pigletmania · 19/07/2010 20:03

That is just nasty . I do tell my dd 3.4 if she is throwing a tantrum or being naughty that if she does what she is doing daddy will be cross, or annoyed, which he would be if he was at home, and not at work. DD looks up to her dad and would more likely to listen than if I say mummy will get cross.

bleedingheart · 19/07/2010 20:04

Mowgli1970! How awful!

I remember my mum falling out with someone as this other mother always threatened her children with the 'bogey monster' and pointed to random men and say 'that man will get you, if you're not good!'

santander · 19/07/2010 20:04

seriously, I would pass this information on. It'll only get worse. What a bully

Firawla · 19/07/2010 20:06

what a weird thing to say, its like taunting the poor child
also its just stupid to use these kind of threats, which are not true @ all. one day the child will realise that infact if they keep on doing whatever the cat/spider/george will not come! they should be using some kind of sensible and realistic consequences, otherwise how can they follow it through if the child continues to misbehave?
not well thought out at all

pigletmania · 19/07/2010 20:07

Oh yes now I remember, a relative used to do that to me to scare me, saying the bogeyman or ghost, thunder was going to get me if I was not good. That used to happen a lot in my time, a lot of parents did that. Did not scare me though, I was older than the child in the op about 7-8.

Fruitysunshine · 19/07/2010 20:08

Reading some of the stories on here is pretty heart breaking. My mum did this to me and my sister when we were children. I still recall walking down the garden path with a carrier bag of my things, holding my sister's hand and crying. The "lady from the home" was apparently waiting for us in a car at the end of the road. My mum shouted on us back when we got to the end of the garden path.

I hate her for doing that to us both. The fear was unbelievable and I will never, ever forgive her.