AIBU to think that my friend is going to make her DD terrified?

[DetectivePotato]

A friend of mine used to use cats to scare her DD into doing something. Her DD was afarid of them so if she got too far away or something, my friend would say "the cat is going to get you" and her DD would run back looking terrified.

Her DD has got over the fear of cats so now my friend is using 'George'. It is a bloke they saw at a garage and her DD was afraid of him. Now my friend says "George is coming to get you" and her DD runs looking terrified.

To me, she is going to make her DD terrified of men at this rate.

Monkey I'd have been too scared to post if I hadn't seen that you'd already 'fessed up!

OMG killercleavage! That's ridiculous.

Nickelbabe I say that the lady will ask us to leave the library if DS doesn't stop shouting is that it's happened once before. Mostly I just say that I will make him leave if he doesn't behave.

Beyond ridiculous! I still can't believe that she thought that was a good thing to do. This was over 20 years ago tho. I seriously don't think that she had really thought about what she was doing and how her DS would interpret it. She was horrified when it dawned on her and when she realised how appalled we all were.

it used to really annoy me when i was a waitress when parents would tell their children to behave or I would tell them off/throw them out. no, i wont. i sometimes ask YOU THE PARENT to please be aware of other guests (swanky hotel, not beefeater) and also of people carrying hot drinks about. i still feel the same now i have a wild toddler. i tell him to behave because I asked him to, and tell him why i want him to. likewise i dont use the police (unless its actually illegal eg seatbelts, and still, mummy will get in trouble) because i dont want him growing up warey of policemen.

some of the stories here are horrible, and had the same effects on children in the 70's as they do today, and at what did the children do to deserve it. good grief.

Where is the boundary between 'frightening' and truthful? It is necessary to sometimes explain why certain, apparently petty, rules are important.

I tell the kid a that if they don't wear their seatbelts, the policeman will come and tell us we're not allowed to drive in our car any more. It's true, pretty much.

Road safety, I know statistically my kids are more likely to be seriously injured by a car than anything else, and I invest a lot of effort into drumming in solid traffic instincts and habits. I do tell the three year old ( Mr. ' If a car hits me I'll hit it back!') that if a car hits him he'll be hurt so badly he'll need to go and live in the hospital while the doctor makes him better. It is scary - but far more scary for me than for him, because it's the truth, and I understand the ramifications of what I'm saying.

thursday if you are at my post, I suggest you re-read it - I did not suggest that the children 'deserved' it, I mereely pointed out that to judge something that happened maybe thirty years ago by todays mores sometimes gives a distorted picture. That is, that a mother who had not learned better ways of controlling her children might do so with outlandish threats, as that was a fairly common method of doing so at the time, and that if the children were then pushing the boundaries in an extreme way, then she would feel she had to carry the threat further. I don't agree with it, or think it is acceptable, but I don't think that, taken in the context of the time, that alone would make her a terrible person. The poster who posted that then replied that her mother was abusive in other ways, which of course changes the situation entirely. Either way, I did not suggest that the children 'deserved it'.

Or, you may not have been referring to my post at all, in which case; as you were.

merely

Why did 70s mothers have a limited armoury of disciplinary measures? The 70s mothers I knew were firm competent people with a good deal of common sense and natural authority. Otoh my parents did sack a 60s childminder for making silly threats.

cory... a 70s mother, not all 70s mothers. My point was as above, that the mores of the time were different, and that it was not seen as being as universally unacceptable then to use threats and insults to control your children, as it is now. That's not to say that all parents in the 70s (and 60s) did so, and I'd equally say that some parents still do so now, despite it being far less common and acceptable (as demonstrated by the very stupid woman in the OP).