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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH'S SPEEDING FINE

113 replies

stickyj · 13/07/2010 11:59

OK Mumsnet jury. Firstly, when a speed camera takes the picture, does it just get the number plate or a face? I need to know as DH wants me to take his latest speeding fine and claim it was me. I understand that as he already has 6 points, this will take him up to 9 and then he could lose his licence if he gets another fine, but I have just read the form and it's scary. You can get a prison sentnce for falsely claiming, and have to go to court etc. I have my own business and this wouldn't look good, would it? he also got arsey with me and said he wouldn't do my tax returns if I didn't take the points, also implying what kind of wife was I?

AIBU not to want to take them or should I help him out? He can't lose his car as he travels all over to meetings etc.

WWYD?

OP posts:
mummytime · 13/07/2010 12:14

Get him to take the points and then go on a speed awareness course.

Do you have any idea how dangerous those extra 8 miles per hour are? IT is seriously the difference between life and death. DS should have been late if he is not ready in time. There are consequences for actions.

I am sure neither you or DH want the full possible consequences for speeding on your conscience.

SagacityNell · 13/07/2010 12:15

SO he drinks and then drives? And was caught speeding?

He needs his license taken off him imo.

EricNorthmansmistress · 13/07/2010 12:15

Do not do it. He's been caught twice before in the last two years? What a knob. I got a speeding fine and was very embarassed. I don't intend to get another one if I can help it.

differentID · 13/07/2010 12:15

sorry- he is being a twat to even consider asking.

It was not your son's fault he was speeding. your child was not the one behind the wheel of the damn car. It was your husband. He needs to take some responsibility for his actions and grow up.

Original poster
stickyj · 13/07/2010 12:17

He has the same arguement every day with DS about being ready on time and he's usually late for work because of him. They start shouting every day at 8.05am, usually at my DD 'cos she's just finishing her makeup etc. DS is doing really well at college, but is applying for UCAS soon and got really upset in the car, as late marks apparently mean you're unreliable and unis take notice of this. DH never drinks and drives, obviously, the party was down our road! He's just started a new job and gets really stressed about being late and to be fair, it's not his fault. If he goes without DS and DD, there's WW£ and I end up sorting out all the shouting! I tell them every day to get up and get ready but DD is 15 and seems to need 2.5 hours to get ready

OP posts:
Snobear4000 · 13/07/2010 12:19

Did your DD have princess toys as a youngster?

Just wondering.

Original poster
stickyj · 13/07/2010 12:19

NO he doesn't drink and drive. I don't think that he needs to be called all those names either. I sometimes can't believe how much swearing there is in the title threads too MN has really got a lot more aggressive over the years. I just wanted to know if I could get done for it and if i was being unreasonable for refusing.

OP posts:
FlexibleAccountant · 13/07/2010 12:19

stickyj - if he as going to do your tax returns for you then is he an accountant?

Beacause if he is, then I tell you what will be worse than him losing his license and have to get taxis/lifts everywhere -

and that is if he is done for FRAUD - he could lose his membership of his professional body and be unable to keep his job or any job in that profession.

If you need help with your tax returns then come over to the Freelancer's and Self Employed thread and post any questions there and people will try to point you in the right direction.

Original poster
stickyj · 13/07/2010 12:20

Snobear, why??

OP posts:
gagamama · 13/07/2010 12:21

YANBU at all. He will still keep his licence with 9 points, he'll just have to make sure he doesn't speed again! It's completely out of anyone's control whether or not you go to jail for making the false claim, but it's 100% in your DHs control not to get another speeding ticket. It's a total no-brainer if you ask me. Why take the riskier option?!

Original poster
stickyj · 13/07/2010 12:22

Flex A, everyone does their own tax returns if they're self-employed don't they? I've been doing mine for 11 years and nothing has ever come back as wrong. TBH I make so little profit, I think I've only ever had to pay tax twice and that was only about £100.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 13/07/2010 12:22

sorry...still no excuse...i'm on my own with 5 dc to get to 3 different schools....on time!!

rubyrubyruby · 13/07/2010 12:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
stickyj · 13/07/2010 12:23

OK, so I was right about my gut feeling not to take them

OP posts:
IndigoSky · 13/07/2010 12:24

If you take the points you could be charged with perverting the course of justice. Some women (as it usually is) have been sent to prison for this - usually for about 3 months.

Original poster
stickyj · 13/07/2010 12:25

Rubny, I don't comment on threads much nowadays as people can be mean and I think MN has changed, not for the better either. I've been here from the start and have laughed and cried with the best of them. I can see why people leave, 'cos people either get called trolls or get slammed down 'cos they're opinion differs from someone elses.

OP posts:
Original poster
stickyj · 13/07/2010 12:25

Sorry, their.

OP posts:
PfftTheMagicDragon · 13/07/2010 12:25

Face or plate depends on the camera. If it is a Gatso type - they take your picture from behind, and take the plate. The Truvelo ones, the ones that face you in the road with a circle lens take your picture from the front and you can see your face.

You should not take the points. How will he ever learn? What about next time? What about when you both have 9 points - he will want you to lose your car as he "can't"?

If he wants to keep his car then he needs to stop driving so fast, not palming his points off onto his wife.

Learn to do your own tax returns.

mummytime · 13/07/2010 12:25

Sorry but...
He needs to start nagging your children earlier (or you do) if they are constantly making him late. Give them an ultimatum either they are out at x or he will leave without them. You need to then make them get to school college by themselves.

Yes late marks might make your DS seem unreliable, that is because he is unreliable, he is not taking responsibility for his own actions. At Uni he will not have you there to make him get there on time, he needs to learn those skills by now.

Start by everyone taking responsibility for their own actions, and getting to school, college work early.

Part of taking responsibility is for your DH to take his own points and stop speeding!

GypsyMoth · 13/07/2010 12:25

alot do have face pics....and as i said,this taking points for people is very common

are you on his car insurance?

Poshwellies · 13/07/2010 12:26

'NO he doesn't drink and drive'

OP he does,you stated he had a couple of beers and then drove home.

'obviously, the party was down our road!'

Yeah? if he was driving a few yards down the road,how can he be speeding?

tabouleh · 13/07/2010 12:27

YANBU to not take the points.

"I sometimes can't believe how much swearing there is in the title threads too MN has really got a lot more aggressive over the years."

IMO your DH's lack of care on the roads which is endangering other MNers and the fact that he wants you to commit a crime is much more objectionable than swearing and "aggressive" posting.

I do hope that your DH has informed his insurance company about the points on his license - otherwise his insurance will certainly be invalid (possibily straight away but definitely once it goes into a new policy year).

Hassled · 13/07/2010 12:27

Doing a tax return is not rocket science - if you end up doing it yourself, you'll manage - tax people themselves are usually a helpful bunch, plus people on here. Don't take the points - you can guarantee you'll get found out.

Can you find some scary statistics re the effect of speeding to make him wake up a bit?

TigerFeet · 13/07/2010 12:28

poshwellies the OP's dh threatened not to do her tax return after a couple of drinks at a party - he got the speeding ticket before then.

SpiderObsession · 13/07/2010 12:28

Stickyj. I think the MNs were angry on your behalf that you are being blackmailed into taking someone else's speeding fine.

The reason he's being fined is because he's breaking the law. As someone who has just attended one of the speed awareness courses it's made me change my driving habits (as the course intends). Your DH has not learnt his lesson and continues to speed. Do you think he'll stop speeding if you take his points? No. So will you take them again when he gets caught again?

He's an adult who should take responsibility for his own actions. Do not get dragged into this, it's a dumb idea to take his points. That's going to get YOU in a heap of trouble.

Oh BTW he is a nob for blackmailing you. I'm sure that you will be able to find other people to help you with your tax returns. He's just spitting his dummy out.