...to ask MIL not to knit acrylic baby clothes?

[Umnitsa]

I have a lovely MIL. She is kind, tactful and is great with all the cooking / sewing /knitting / gardening stuff. She also lives in California (we are in London) and we do not really see each other often.

I am now expecting our first child, and MIL is enthusiastically knitting baby clothes - with acrylic and nylon!.. The thing is, neither DH nor I wear any manmade materials, really none (ok, nylon stockings and lingerie (for me!) and I guess ski gear is also some sort of polyester), and I am certainly not going to dress my baby in acrylic!!

She has already sent us a few parcels of all these tiny cardigans and hats which look quite adorable but... After the first parcel I thanked her profusely and then told her at length how I choose all organic cotton baby stuff and will try going with reusable nappies hoping she'll get the hint about my slight obsession with all things natural. Now we got the second batch - all acrylic, and apparently there are more...

I feel so bad - I know she is having so much joy making all this stuff, and it is knitted with much love, but it just won;t be worn! My husband spoke with her yesterday and in a joking way tried to pass the same message about me being strictly cotton / wool, and if perhaps she could knit with cotton instead. She kept insisting that it is difficult to wash cotton (??!), it is perfectly acceptable for babies to wear acrylic because it is soft, and also mentioned that cotton is more difficult to knit with. I suspect that cotton and wool yarn may also be more expensive than acrylic, but I'd rather she made one piece which will be worn and treasured than a dozen which will live in the bottom of the drawer. If we lived close enough I could just buy the yarn I like and ask her to knit with it, but seeing that we are on different continents it's too complicated - ordering something online etc.

Sorry for the rant, it is such a minor issue, but now I feel guilty and ungrateful...

Why don't you by some wool that you like and send it with a letter asking her to choose a pattern and knit one of her beautiful cardigans with it? Letters are lovely and then you both get what you want.

Thank you Aitch!

I hate acrylic.It looks horrible,it bobbles after one wash and it is hot and doesn't breathe.You do need to be very tactful though,or you could really hurt her feelings.I would do the "I wonder if I could ask a big favour ?" thing,say you've fallen in love with a particular shade of yarn thats very new and meant to be the latest thing here and you really want something knitted in it.Then get a load of intersting colours that there is no way on earth would be made in acrylic and send them to her.Debbie Bliss,Rowan etc,lovely yarn-one great for babies made of milk protein with a natural dye.Very very soft.Hopefully she will then a)make you something you will love and put the baby in thus making you both happy
b) get a taste for all the natural yarns out there, and c)start to get your taste.

YANBU - I can't understand why anyone would think it unreasonable to only dress a baby in cotton/natural fibres.
I had loads of baby acrylic knits from my Nan and most went straight to the charity shop (especially as they were also those fiddly little bonnets and bootees with knitted cords to tie them etc etc - surely no-one thinks they are practical!)although I did keep the odd 'matinee jacket' as a top layer if it wouldn't be next to my dd's skin.
But then I'm the sort of slack mother who basically kept her in (cotton) babygros from Tescos until she was crawling, so didn't need much of anything else. And my dd developed eczema at 4 months, so the search for pure cotton clothes has never ended, and acrylic still goes in the charity shop bag! Incidently, I am now a knitter myself and in the process of knitting a cotton gift for an imminent arrival.

do you have any family patterns? my friend's mum knitted me a beautiful shawl from a pattern that my great grandmother had used. we LOVED it, and used it all the time for swaddling both dds. it would be so nice, i think, if you could engage with her on that level, ask her about favourite patterns first, that sort of thing. you can't do a showpiece garm like that in crappy acrylic, surely to god?

it was a bit like this, but faaaaaancier

Bear Factory toys fit newborn clothes.
If you really don't want to put your baby in the clothes MIL is knitting you then buy one and keep it, and the clothes for your DC.
When he/she is old enough they can dress their toy in MIL's clothes
That way, everyone wins.

What a gorgeous shawl, Aitch - it is quite similar to traditional Russian Orenburg shawls (the real ones are made with finest angora and are so thin you can slip a big shawl through a wedding ring!) Do you have Russian roots perchance?

Love the idea of an heirloom. We don't really have a family pattern as such, but I can certainly look around and send MIL links to / pictures of the stuff that takes my fancy!

at Bear Factory suggestion, very creative!

I am a knitter. I belive people who knit baby clothes do it 99% for their own gratification of making something so cute and quick to finish .

I would get her a Debbie Bliss book, "Special Knits" is good if you can find it, or this one, say you've fallen in love with XX design and could she possibly knit it up or you and if it's in X colour it will match the nursery. Baby Cashmerino is machine washable on gentle cycle.

Incidentally Sirdar Snuggly is one of the better synthetic yarns, that really is soft, I knitted an entire layette in that in my younger days!

Another good thing to ask for is a cot/pram blanket, they don't get outgrown so quickly and are quite useful.

nup, ours is a scottish pattern, but the same idea, fine enough to pull through the mother's wedding ring. we used ours sooooo much, it was wonderful for both dds and is currently swaddling a teddy bear in their bedroom.

should say that our one doesn't pull through my wedding ring, but it should do if it was in the right wool.

My DD is 8 and adores her Bear Factory Monkey, it's part imaginary friend and part favourite cuddly, and she would love hand made clothes for it from family.

Thank you for your kind words, Needanewname!

Looks like Debbie Bliss is the product to buy, thank you all for the links. I also like the idea of Sirdar Bamboo Baby.

Yes, definitely a nice cot blanket will be used for a long time, thank you Greenlotus.

there are some lovely things in this book Rowan milk cotton
I agree with picking something getting the yarn and sending it to her. you can buy this in John Lewis I think

YANBU at all not to want to dress your dc in synthetics, and I don't think you're being PFB, either.

Several options:

1. Accept gifts, baby wears them over cotton babygro etc, take photos and send to MIL, then pack garments away until dc2 comes along, and begin again.

1. Spell it out to her that you don't like synthetics. Could be fine, could cause ill-feeling.

1. Find some yarn you like and send it to her. Consult with an expert (good shops will have someone serving who knows yarn and knitting) to make sure it's appropriate.

My mum wanted to make stuff for the baby when I was pg for the first time. I still had to persuade her to make it out of natural fibres, despite the fact that she knows that I am allergic to synthetics. (My elbows crack and bleed if I wear acrylic or nylon.)

She crocheted a marvelous little receiving blanket in thick white cotton yarn, backed with smooth cotton fabric. All 3 dc have come home from hospital in it, and have used it as their cot blanket for the first year. It is now carefully put away in the loft, ready for my first dgc

Mum has also since made plenty of totally unsuitable garments, to which I apply rule 1.

think YAB a bit U- I found the acrylicy cardies DD was given very useful (she was a winter baby) as they dried v quickly after washing. As a knitter myself though, I would rather knit something that will be worn, so I think sending her some yarn of your choice and an idea of what sort of thing you want would be fine. Nice yarn costs a packet so I'd be pleased to have it sent to me!

However reading your nice sentiments about how it would be important for your baby to have some items knitted by her granny as she is the only grandparent is a lovely thing, and I'm sure she would appreciate that if you told her.

BTW my DD was lucky enough to wear a wool cardie my granny made me when I was a baby 30 years ago- it was lovely to have that link carry on!

All the baby cashmerino patterns will sub with Debbie Bliss' new www.laughinghens.com/knitting-pattern.asp?patternid=1411 Eco Baby yarn (30 degree wash) - you can't do better than that .

It's not rude to send a pattern and/or fabric and ask for it to be made up. I've done this several times with my MIL. She welcomes the requests and always makes nice things. I think my doing this has improved our relationship because she knows that, despite our disagreements, she is genuinely appreciated.

Umnitsa - I really don't think any serious knitter would be offended with someone sending them the yarn. Most knitters love their craft, and love giving gifts that will be appreciated, but if they knit a lot couldn't afford to spend the money on quality yarn for all their knitting. Also, some areas just don't have the quality yarn stores to choose lovely yarn from.

Also, Ravelry has some great pattern links so you could find some GOOOORGEOUUUSS baby outfits!!!

As a knitter I can't stand working with acrylic yarn and think it feels cheap and tacky. If she's in US then wool will be very expensive but cotton is cheap as chips out there.
For those who have said wool is scratchy, it does depend on what type of wool. I've knitted nappy covers out of bluefaced leicester and merino which are both gorgeously soft and not scratchy at all. The downside is it is expensive yarn.

No I don't think YABU!

YANBU to hate acrylic. I am a knitter and whereas my mum amd MIL will always knit in acrylic (price and ease I think), I hate the feel of it and hate knitting with it. So I only knit for my DCs (DS aged 2.3, with DC2 on the way) in natural fibres. Love Debbie Bliss stuff and baby bamboo, and just been doing some stuff in organic cotton and have some of that Milk Cotton for next project.

BTW John Lewis has a great sale on yarns at the moment - I went crazy for some cottons that were a third of regular price a couple of days ago. Maybe worth checiking out.

Anyway, as i said, YANBU to hate acrylic but I do think YABU to not dress your DC in the clothes that her only grandmother has taken the time and care to make.

My DS wore everything that his grandmothers made for him - fabrics/colours/style not always my choice, but it was more important to show that their hard work and love was appreciated than to worry about my fashion foibles Naturally, he wore the beautiful yarns I'd knitted up more often, but he wore everything they had made, and would always wear something of theirs when visiting them which they just loved. Some had washed well and will last for DC2, some has bobbled horridly. The stuff I made has all washed well - handwash cycle on machine is fine for modern yarns I think.

I have an heirloom blanket made from acrylic. My nana crocheted it for me, and my DS was wrapped in it when first born. It is nice acrylic - not bobbled - and virtually indestructible so will survive several more generations I think. That it is something my nana made, that can be used by my DCs and potentially my own DGCs is way more important than the fabric it is made from. Please try to appreciate what your MIL is doing, even if it isn't quite to your taste - she is doing it out of love. You will find plenty of this from well-meaning friends and family as you raise your child, so you might as well get used to it now!

For your first baby you will probably have tonnes of items (gifts) that it never wears -- there will just be too much stuff, you blink and it's outgrown. So take some nice pictures and send a nice thank-you note and try to harness some of that MIL good will in a way that's more useful to you.

OP - Send your MIL some alpaca. I had some really exquisite baby clothes knitted with this yarn. I love cashmere too, and some merino wool is very soft (especially Nurtured by Nature).

Acrylic or cashmere, etc - no contest really.

YA definitely NBU! My DS had excema as a baby(still does) and even the softest merino wool was terrible on his skin. Cotton is perfectly fine - my mother is a keen knitter too and she's made some lovely things in cotton yarn. I bet there is a US website that will ship yarn to her; you can choose the colours too! I am sure she'd be happier knowing you REALLY used the things she knitted for your DC, rather than just say "oh, lovely" and put it in a drawer. I think that's a greater sin, myself, after all her love and hard work.