...to ask MIL not to knit acrylic baby clothes?

[Umnitsa]

I have a lovely MIL. She is kind, tactful and is great with all the cooking / sewing /knitting / gardening stuff. She also lives in California (we are in London) and we do not really see each other often.

I am now expecting our first child, and MIL is enthusiastically knitting baby clothes - with acrylic and nylon!.. The thing is, neither DH nor I wear any manmade materials, really none (ok, nylon stockings and lingerie (for me!) and I guess ski gear is also some sort of polyester), and I am certainly not going to dress my baby in acrylic!!

She has already sent us a few parcels of all these tiny cardigans and hats which look quite adorable but... After the first parcel I thanked her profusely and then told her at length how I choose all organic cotton baby stuff and will try going with reusable nappies hoping she'll get the hint about my slight obsession with all things natural. Now we got the second batch - all acrylic, and apparently there are more...

I feel so bad - I know she is having so much joy making all this stuff, and it is knitted with much love, but it just won;t be worn! My husband spoke with her yesterday and in a joking way tried to pass the same message about me being strictly cotton / wool, and if perhaps she could knit with cotton instead. She kept insisting that it is difficult to wash cotton (??!), it is perfectly acceptable for babies to wear acrylic because it is soft, and also mentioned that cotton is more difficult to knit with. I suspect that cotton and wool yarn may also be more expensive than acrylic, but I'd rather she made one piece which will be worn and treasured than a dozen which will live in the bottom of the drawer. If we lived close enough I could just buy the yarn I like and ask her to knit with it, but seeing that we are on different continents it's too complicated - ordering something online etc.

Sorry for the rant, it is such a minor issue, but now I feel guilty and ungrateful...

YABU.

Send her some wool.

I think it's rude to send her wool and rude to have mentioned it to her at all!

You sound v nice and it's obvious you are not meaning to be unreasonable, but you are (and a bit precious and OTT).

Do what I did with gran's knits, shove 'em on dd for a second, take a pic, ship knit off to charity shop.

I hate acrylic too. My mother knit dd1 loads of acrylic cardigans which looked lovely but I hated the feel of them. I hate even the thought of touching wet acrylic knits - just one of those things that sets my teeth on edge so I think YANBU

Poor dd1 has eczema so could only wear natural fabrics. Luckily my sister had a baby girl less than a year later so all the stuff got worn eventually.

Wow this has got you all going hasn't it!!!!!

I don;t think the OP is being rude, spoilt or ungrateful at all. She was extremely complimentary about her MIL and really appreciates all he knitting that shes doing, she just hates acrylic - why is that so bad? Maybe she is unable to touch it - I know that there are certain fleeces that I can't bear to touch and coton wool is a nightmare for me, I can just about manage the pads but not the balls (even sitting here thinking about it is setting my teeth on edge!)

Umnitsa, I really don't think there is a problem with sending her some lovely wool you found and aksing her to make something specific.

It's quite usual for knitters to send each other wool. I know lots of people who have asked their mothers to knit specific patterns etc that they don't have the time/ability to knit themselves.

My mother and MIl are big fans of that peculiar bobble wool that is quite plasticky adn always comes in lurid shades of purple and pink but my DDs (4 & 7) love it so I let them get on with it. It's a bit different with babies though as I think acrylic just really doesn't make nice baby clothes.

well, I suffer from bad eczema and thank heavens for acrylic, else I would never be able to wear anything approximating a jumper, cardigan or whatever. Just because something is natural does not make it better.

YANBU or spoilt. So many people moan that their hand made gift wasnt appreciated, you have been very kind to let mil know.

However if she doesnt care it sounds like she is knitting for the love of knitting. Let her carry on and donate them all to some baby charity.

I would be over the moon if a big load of wool arrived for me to play with, I think its a great idea to ask her if she will make something specific. Just make sure to ask or pick something similar to what she has been doing, if she is knitting with chunky wool she might not like doing delicate lace.

it wont be next to the skin, at all, so you dont have to worry about your lo's skin touching the arylic, i would tend to agree with yhou but i ahve a feeling that it has to have acrylic in order to knit with.
my clothes are always cotton, and dd has dry skin and also only had cotton, so many handmedowns with polyester had to be handed onto someone else ... however cardigans are a different matter.
grin and bear it, you will appreciate it when the time comes.

I think YANBU, I don't think it's rude to say what you prefer so that all that time and effort doesn't get wasted. I speak as the mother of a 5mo proud owner of £300+ of teddies which he doesn't (at least not any time soon) want to play with, and we don't have room to store. All bought with love, but the boy doesn't need 14 bunnies!!!!

YABU and incredibly precious, OP.

I do quite a bit of knitting for my DSs. Acrylic is not nice to work with and bobbles quickly in the washing machine. However it doesnt shrink (like wool) which, I think, is why GPs are so obsessed with it.

Baby Bamboo from Sirdar is my top tip. Natural fibre. Washes brilliantly no bobbling/shrinking. Price very much more acceptable than Debbie Bliss cashmerino etc.

I dont think sending MIL a couple of patterns and some yarn would be rude. Actually it shows how much you appreciate her work and are getting into her knitting.

Still can't see why people are accusing the OP of being precious!!!

I have nothing to add other than your MIL sounds just lovely.

YANBU- i would imagine that because you already wear cotton and wool yourself you are a pro at washing them. if it was me i would source the wool myself and have it delivered to your MIL with a lovely thank you message for all she has already done. i dont see why you should put your dc in something you are uncomfortable with. you probably will get lots of clothing from people that is acrylic but you can tell everyone beforehand that you will only be using natural clothing. no-one can object if you return items after you have already told them. they then have the choice to buy something other than clothing or nothing at all.

It's going to get vomited on and they'll grow out of it within a month. There's no point buying expensive wools for baby clothes.

My mother knitted stuff in wool, which was hardly used because it was a pain to wash and my babies sicked up on it.

I think you're being quite precious and you'll be joining the 'what crazy things did you insist on with your PFB?' threads in a few years.

weird, some people seem to think it's less rude to photograph the child in them for five secs then ship the clothes off to the charity shop... i think that's appalling tbh. funny how people are, isn't it? i'd much rather be told so that i could make something that people would like, but obviously others wouldn't.

YABU and a fair bit ungrateful.

Both of my DD's grannies knit stuff for her. My mums turn out ok most of the time but you should see the shocking stuff her other granny has turned out- really it isn't fit to dress the dog in! My trick is to smile, say "thank you its lovely, it will go with all the other nasty tat lovely things you have made DD" (Most of it has ended up in a bag in bottom of the wardrobe never to see light of day again).

My advice? If you really dont like it, take a few pics of baby wearing the items granny has lovingly worked on and then donate it to someone/somewhere who will appreciate it

YANBU.

I had to suffer this.

The only thing I can suggest is to buy some nice Debbie Bliss "wool" and send it to her.
Ordering on line really isn't that complicated!

I don't think YABU at all. Or PFB about it, I have three dc and still wouldn't put them in manmade fabrics. It would be lovely to have handknitted baby clothes, send her some cotton yarn (is yarn the right term here? not a knitter myself).

Many thanks for your messages. I am quite overwhelmed - both by the "rude and ungrateful" views and supportive ones with constructive suggestions.

I'd be reluctant to send stuff off to charity shops. Handmade clothes are different from an oversupply of teddy bears or indifferent store-bought gifts. MIL is the only grandparent my daughter will have. My parents have died, my extended family live abroad, and it makes a handmade gift from MIL - Grandma - more special, more precious (this word again!) I WANT my baby to wear clothes knitted by her grandmother, that is why I feel so torn about it.

Again, thank you to all those who posted links to yarn sites. I think I will send her some wool and cotton. I do note however several people's comments that it may be dictatorial and tactless to do it... Another dilemma!! Aaargh, if we lived closer it would be so much easier - we could just talk about things casually face to face instead of making a big deal out of it during our regular weekly calls, and both of us trying to be civilised and sensitive and having this nasty aftertaste for days!!

TBF I think if she is using cheap nasty acrylic then I can see your point, but if you have tried to say something and she hasn't listened then you may as well give it up as a bad job!

i think youre being a very good sport about this thread, OP.

You do not sound like the kind of person who would be tactless and from what you've said she doesn't sound like the type of mil to take offense at what you've said, you sound like you have a good relationship.