...to ask MIL not to knit acrylic baby clothes?

[Umnitsa]

I have a lovely MIL. She is kind, tactful and is great with all the cooking / sewing /knitting / gardening stuff. She also lives in California (we are in London) and we do not really see each other often.

I am now expecting our first child, and MIL is enthusiastically knitting baby clothes - with acrylic and nylon!.. The thing is, neither DH nor I wear any manmade materials, really none (ok, nylon stockings and lingerie (for me!) and I guess ski gear is also some sort of polyester), and I am certainly not going to dress my baby in acrylic!!

She has already sent us a few parcels of all these tiny cardigans and hats which look quite adorable but... After the first parcel I thanked her profusely and then told her at length how I choose all organic cotton baby stuff and will try going with reusable nappies hoping she'll get the hint about my slight obsession with all things natural. Now we got the second batch - all acrylic, and apparently there are more...

I feel so bad - I know she is having so much joy making all this stuff, and it is knitted with much love, but it just won;t be worn! My husband spoke with her yesterday and in a joking way tried to pass the same message about me being strictly cotton / wool, and if perhaps she could knit with cotton instead. She kept insisting that it is difficult to wash cotton (??!), it is perfectly acceptable for babies to wear acrylic because it is soft, and also mentioned that cotton is more difficult to knit with. I suspect that cotton and wool yarn may also be more expensive than acrylic, but I'd rather she made one piece which will be worn and treasured than a dozen which will live in the bottom of the drawer. If we lived close enough I could just buy the yarn I like and ask her to knit with it, but seeing that we are on different continents it's too complicated - ordering something online etc.

Sorry for the rant, it is such a minor issue, but now I feel guilty and ungrateful...

YABU to dictate to her - but I feel your pain that she is spending so much time knitting you stuff that wont be used. But there is no real way you can stop it over and above what you have already done. Even if you send her wool, it will seem bad and dictatorish now that she's already made lots of stuff, its not like she's still talking about maybe doing it.

In a way I agree about acrylic - I bought a cream cardigan from eBay for my daughter's christening, it was a "just in case" item in case it was a very crisp morning, so I didn't want to spend much because there was a good chance it wasn't going to be worn. It wasn't in the end. It was £9.99.

It arrived and it looked lovely - perfect in fact. But it was rough as guts. There's acrylic and there's acrylic, I guess. I didn't mind that it was scratchy, she was 7 months and she's tough as an old boot but as it turned out it didn't matter.

Pure wool can be very scratchy though and can be impractical. Some of the nice merino cashmere blends are lovely and soft. Cotton is nice of course but not that practical.

She has a point about the practicality - honestly it is gobsmacking how much a newborn can puke and posset and how little you might want to do washing and how quickly they grow out of it. If you had everything in 100% natural fibres, enough that you aren't washing constantly and in each size, you will be spending a fair bit. This might not be an issue of course but £10 says you'll have a secret stash of Tesco 3 pack babygrows by the time it hits 3-6 month. Proably before.

Sorry if it sounds patronising. If not, you lead a very, very different lifestyle and philosophy to most.

YANBU to be cringing at the awkwardness of it all, though.

God bless you mum Kittens!

'Sorry for the rant, it is such a minor issue, but now I feel guilty and ungrateful... '

That's cos you ARE ungrateful, and very precious! And it seems like more than a 'slight' obsession IMO.

LOL

You smile, you say thank you, you take some photos of baby in the clothes, you send them too her with a suitably gushy note.

The baby outgrows them in a nanosecond and Gran loses interest...

You have your second baby and you are sniffing things to make sure they are clean and not giving a rats arse what they are made out of because you have about a gazillion other things to worry about.

YABU. Acrylic knit clothes can be quite soft and lovely, and it sounds like these are. Your baby will look adorable in them and won't turn into plastic because he/she is wearing man-made materials.

I had a friend's mother who was an avid knitter and she also preferred acrylic, so it must be a dedicated knitter thing. (she also lives in California ... hmmm.)

She made a gorgeous blanket for my son and it's so soft I don't care what it's made of.

Wonder where the op has trotted off to.

"If we lived close enough I could just buy the yarn I like and ask her to knit with it, but seeing that we are on different continents it's too complicated - ordering something online etc."

You don't seriously believe that, do you????? Buying yarn in the US is SOOOO much cheaper than here, and they have some fabulous brands that you can't get here. If you don't know what you're looking for, go online to Ravelry (the most awesome knitting community/database, etc, etc) and ask on there for some yarn recommendations for babies listing your criteria, and you'll get some great responses.

Then order some yarn, have it sent to your MIL, and love the lovingly knitted outfits that she will send you. Sheesh, I would adore it if someone were willing to knit my two DCs some garments....!!!!

I feel sad for the MIL

Yabu, ungrateful and a bit precious, modern acrylic is softer than wool, and for babies pure cotton and wool is terribly unpractical as you have to handwash it. They'll be too small soon enough so donate them to a scbu or refuge but stop hinting at your mil that her knitting is not good enough for (possibly )her first grandchild.

Oh, and what chitchat said goes too. Just order some wool fgs. Postage to another continent isn't impossible.

My MIL knits stuff that isn't really to my taste (and is acrylic, but that doesn't really bother me) but she gets a lot of pleasure out of choosing projects and chooses the yarns she likes to knit with. DS wears the things she makes when we see her (every few months) and then grows out of them .

I knit too and unless I was given unbelievably gorgeous yarn would much rather choose my own - it's a pita to knit with something you don't really want to- too slippy, too stretchy, too whatever.

Wow, I've posted on MN before but never had 30 responses in 30 minutes!!

Thank you all for the honest feedback. Yes, it is PFB so I am being OTT about lots of stuff. And indeed I do not fully appreciate the actual amount of washing that will need to be done - know about it in theory but it's not the same, is it.

I do hate acrylic, whether or not it may be seen as spoilt. I don't mind Tesco's babygros as long as they are cotton.

Oldenoughtowearpurple, KnitterinNW - thank you for the links, I think I will order some yarn and ask MIL to make a special heirloom shawl. Beautiful selection, actually I might knit something myself - used to knit a lot (only with wool though so can't compare whether it's more difficult than with acrylic) but haven't done for ages, might do it again as I go on mat leave in two weeks!

You don't need to handwash cotton - I've always shoved cotton cardigans in the washing machine. I also put wool and cashmere on the handwash cycle and its fine.

I do think its fine not to want your baby to wear acrylic. I don't wear acrylic as hate the feel of it and I don't dress any of my children in it.

And well - you are allowed to be a bit precious about your first baby - am sure I was much worse

My mother knitted my dd a purple cardie with gold buttons, we call it her bingo cardie, me and DH hate it, DD on the other hand LOVES it. It is mostly acrylic and therefore completely indestructible!

We found lots of cardies very usefull at baby stage, jut slip on over babygrow, you will be pleased of them I promise.

Your child will one day insist on wearing a drip dry bri-nylon Tellytubby ensemble, and you won't be able to do anything about it!

You know your baby won't wear it, so all you need to do is take a couple of pics of baby wearing the stuff and send to her.

She'll be made up.

Then just shove in a drawer and only bring out if she visits.

A lot of the modern wools now are machine washable on delicate cycle.

Traceybath - thanks for that, actually I was meaning to ask why everyone believes knitted cotton / wool require handwash, I just put all my / dH's nice sweaters in the washing machine on the wool cycle.

Chitchat - thank you for the Ravelry reference, will check it.

This shop has some gorgeous wool if you wanted to go with the buying the wool and asking her to use it option.

YAB a bit U. Acrylic is not that bad although I agree that wool is better in every way. I would send out some wool for her to use or try hinting some more

We've had both. The wool has washed better than the acrylic.

I knit a lot and I really think it's a generational thing - older knitters always seem to knit in acrylic whereas the younger ones go for the cotton and wool. It's such a shame when somebody has gone to all that time and effort but using cheap materials. Acrylic is a lot cheaper than natural yarns and some of the more fashionable baby stuff (Debbie Bliss etc) is outright extortionate so perhaps she's blanching at the difference in price?

I hate PFB-stuff but on this issue I agree with you. There's no way that even modern acrylic is anything like as pleasant to handle or wear as natural fibres - to me, it just doesn't knit up the same and it doesn't last (it bobbles anmd isn't great in the washing machine), plus I think the colours don't tend to be as nice (that nasty peach shade, the flecked stuff etc). Cotton is a really practical choice for babies and goes in the washing machine as does wool adn cashmere. I would do what others have suggested and send her some wool and even perhaps a pattern.

Hugely ungrateful. Do the photo thing then give to someone who's grateful for the effort which has gone into them and the gesture.

umnitsa I think yanbu, but then my grandmother did exactly the same for my first dc - the parcels came thick and fast! Not only was it all acrylic but some very strange colour choices too.

I thanked her for them profusely, took all the photos etc, but then said I didn't want to bother her with buying yarn for future ones, could I send yarn and patterns to her? She was delighted because she then felt she was making somethings that would be really useful and wanted. And I got some truly delicious jumpers etc for ds when he was a bit older.

I'm really surprised people are pro-acrylic here. I really think it's foul.

lol at the pfb accusations, acrylic is vile and makes my fillings itch, i never put my children in it... however, you will DIE when you realise how expensive baby cashmerino is. i can quite understand why she baulks at paying for it, so will you when you price it up.

I wouldn't dress my baby in acrylic either! Order her some nice yarn from a US supplier