Multiple Severe Allergies + School Won't Allow Packed Lunches?

[AllergyMumma]

Hello,

Please could I get some help/guidance?

My daughter has multiple severe allergies (Anaphylaxis) to:
-eggs
-nuts
-peanuts
-dairy
-sesame
-lentil
-penicillin

She is due to start primary school this sept, she will be joining Reception. I've spoken to a senior member of staff at the school regarding my daughters allergies and they have informed me that they do not allow packed lunches. They seem very adamant about this..

Last year at her first nursery (who also banned packed lunch), they made a mistake and gave her dairy cheese which resulted in my daughter having a severe reaction and nearly dying. Obviously after all of this I want to avoid anything like this ever happening again. She's 4 years old and she trusts any adult that helps her, I want to provide her safe food from home and eliminate anyone 'giving' her food that could potentially cause her harm... It's a large school with 90 children in Reception so I just want to reduce the risks as much as possible but I feel like I'm fighting against the school and getting no where.

The staff member made a flippant comment that "it's like opening your door and being hit by a bus, you just never know what will happen" which is NOT the same as suffering from multiple severe allergies. I feel really alone in dealing with this and wondering if anyone has experienced anything similar?

have no problem with her wearing their bracelet as well as mine the more the merrier, the problem is they just flat out refuse her wearing her bracelet with the pictures. reason: it might get lost 😩

thank you for your suggestions will def be implementing these x

I think I’d say to them that she absolutely needs her bracelet but you’re happy to accept full responsibility for it. So won’t be expecting them to replace it should it get lost.
You’re also happy for her to wear theirs as well. Then reiterate that she relies on it to check which foods she’s allergic to as she’s ONLY 4 for god sake!!!

Just a thought - by not allowing home packed lunches would your daughter actually be safer? I am a TA and we drum it into children time and time again that they must never share food, yet they still do it. If the other children were eating home packed lunches would that mean your daughter might be at risk of being exposed to an allergen? Even if your child has a 1:1 their attention might be elsewhere for a second or two - mini crisis happen constantly throughout a school day but especially lunch times - and something might happen.
If the school has control of all the food in the dining hall that might be safest.

Can you pick her up at lunchtime? We found that the school could not refuse to let our child out at lunchtime so we did that when their provision was inadequate.

I would have to say yes she's safer eating my food then theirs as I have one child to take care of at home and I know first hand at the back of my hand what she can and cannot eat. they have hundreds of children to cater for so many things can potentially go wrong. plus the fact they have family dining where kids help themselves...she wil 100% be safer eating my packed lunch on the 'special' table with other special needs kids.

Actually this has given me a great idea - I usually introduce new foods slowly as a precaution as her allergies are so severe e.g one bite monitor, after 10 minutes another bite etc etc ...there is no way the school can do this as her menu will be brand new. so surely this is a point I can argue that they can't cater for her....i can't see how the can argue against this.

great point I will be asking this. thank you so much x

If it’s only the deputy you have spoken with try the head and governors. There are some awful staff in great schools but with everything you have said I am aghast. Your daughter, in most schools, would be the most discussed child. Does use training would be given, pictures laminated and policies reviewed regularly to check everything was working to everyone’s satisfaction. Keeping someone safe is the priority. These are the children who bring us out in cold sweats at the thought we could get something wrong - that’s the human response. I can’t believe the attitude shown so far - it really isn’t typical of schools.

yes i will be insisting on the bracelet...i'm just so confused bcus i explained she uses it to prompt her on her allergies and this deputy still said no her argument about it getting lost....i just felt like we were on two separate planets. i couldn't care less if it gets lost I'll have a spare on hand 😂

the only other staff i have spoke to is a receptionist who said if I want my daughter to have a packed lunch i should look at another school, but i ignored her as i thought maybe she doesn't have any authority to make such a statement.

so yes i'm hoping its just the deputy with the flippant responses and closed minded views...i will definitely try speaking the the head teacher next and see how she is.

Crikey, this just gets worse.

You definitely need to talk to other schools.

Also, her bracelet is an important part of her personal development to manage her allergies and it's essentially laying the foundations for a lifetime of, for now age appropriately, needing to advocate for herself. Until she can read and remember what she's allergic to this is important for her.

I'm the mega allergic one in my family but I have a child who had different significant support needs in primary and what I learned was that a supportive school will do the right thing and support well from the off, an unsupportive school will be a battle forever. It's not worth it, seriously.

The thing is, you’re dealing with all this hostility and angst and uncertainty and she hasn’t even started there. This is just the start of her school journey - you’ve got years of this!

You should feel like the school understand and care, and are in partnership with you. They obviously aren’t.

Don’t bother doing all the things your husband said. Just find another school that you feel safe with.

Hi OP, regarding schools, I'd ring up the education department of the local authority, explain the situation and ask for advice on IF you wanted to find a different school for your daughter, what the options would be locally and the process. She's only 4, so time's on your side. She doesn't legally have to go to school till 5.

It doesn't matter what kitchen tours etc you go on. It's the people that matter and these people are telling you they're not that bothered about keeping your daughter safe. So why would a minimally trained and paid catering assistant be?

You also need a strong message to go out to other parents and to be regularly repeated and enforced (kids bring in food; food is used in the classroom). You won't get that with lackadaisical management.

My school has several anaphylactic students and we are mega careful and all epipen trained. The one who suffers airborne reactions still ended up in hospital due to other students using hand cream containing the allergen (on the other side of a room!)

Thank you for your suggestion I've been up all night worrying about this and I think your right if I'm battling over lunch boxes and bracelets before she's even started, this is how it's going to be with everything. I didn't feel my concerns were heard yesterday and I just felt pressured to do what she wanted and fit into the rules that apply for everyone, when it's clear my daughter needs some adjustments to be made to keep her safe

I still would like to speak to the head teacher as I would like to know for sure if that deputy is just off or if it's the whole school..but regardless of this I will be calling the local authority this morning for advice. She's 4 turning 5 end of Nov, so she needs to be in school x

Thank you, agree with you. Their approach is very hostile and they are making me feel like the crazy mum who's over reacting. Her nursery she's with now are amazing and so caring..I know schools are a lot bigger and they have hundreds of children to look after. I really hope I can find a school that understands

Your experience with the school is shocking. Best of luck with the local authority today.

I have the feeling that if they did agree, they'd "relax" after a while without problems; and think she was fine.

So they don't consider that the school bracelet might also get lost?

Honestly I don't think she was seeing any reason...it seemed more about taking control and me following her rules.

Thank you, i've been calling since 9am can't get through to my local council so far. I will keep trying.

So I called the health visitor who advised me to request a talk with the headteacher to discuss my concerns about safety of my child. I hope she's more reasonable. the HV said if she's not I should look for another school.

So the HV can clearly see this is a major issue and they would typically back up a school or nursery.

Yes, I wonder if they can only offer advice or if they can tactually get involved. She said looking for another school might be an option but you will likely face similar issues in the future so best to try to resolve this with head teacher first

In regards the wristband, if school are so worried about it getting lost 🙄... you could make one, laminate it and secure it to her wrist with sellotape. Problem solved.... expensive bracelet now has been replaced with inexpensive paper....

Does her lunch box state allergies on it also?

www.zazzle.co.uk/food_allergy_alert_lunch_box-256074161977925780?rf=238660393881987057&tc=CjwKCAjwkYGVBhArEiwA4sZLuPZfTAjHX07OalNCrfpdz5BBtSGARoeL6XC4FPBkgHkDpWDivaW5ThoCt1cQAvD_BwE&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=uk_shopping_gbp_home_1&utm_term=&ca_chid=2001810&ca_source=gaw&ca_ace=&ca_nw=g&ca_dev=m&ca_pl=&ca_pos=&ca_cid=569730051554&ca_agid=132663475604&ca_caid=15525884070&ca_adid=569730051554&ca_kwt=&ca_mt=&ca_fid=&ca_tid=pla-1573384048767&ca_lp=1006959&ca_li=&ca_devm=&ca_plt=&gncclsrc=aw.ds&gclid=CjwKCAjwkYGVBhArEiwA4sZLuPZfTAjHX07OalNCrfpdz5BBtSGARoeL6XC4FPBkgHkDpWDivaW5ThoCt1cQAvD_BwE

haha never thought of that but you're so right, if she's so worried about it getting lost. problem solved

yes I have done a DIY job where I've labeled her lunchbox with her photo, and list of allergies.