Multiple Severe Allergies + School Won't Allow Packed Lunches?

[AllergyMumma]

Hello,

Please could I get some help/guidance?

My daughter has multiple severe allergies (Anaphylaxis) to:
-eggs
-nuts
-peanuts
-dairy
-sesame
-lentil
-penicillin

She is due to start primary school this sept, she will be joining Reception. I've spoken to a senior member of staff at the school regarding my daughters allergies and they have informed me that they do not allow packed lunches. They seem very adamant about this..

Last year at her first nursery (who also banned packed lunch), they made a mistake and gave her dairy cheese which resulted in my daughter having a severe reaction and nearly dying. Obviously after all of this I want to avoid anything like this ever happening again. She's 4 years old and she trusts any adult that helps her, I want to provide her safe food from home and eliminate anyone 'giving' her food that could potentially cause her harm... It's a large school with 90 children in Reception so I just want to reduce the risks as much as possible but I feel like I'm fighting against the school and getting no where.

The staff member made a flippant comment that "it's like opening your door and being hit by a bus, you just never know what will happen" which is NOT the same as suffering from multiple severe allergies. I feel really alone in dealing with this and wondering if anyone has experienced anything similar?

I get your pain. I've had to relocate doctors as the first doctor laughed at me when I questioned if my daughters eczema and blood in her stool could potentially be due to allergies. It's only when i paid out of my own pocket to get a private allergy test and I had proof she had multiple severe allergies did they actually listen. Luckily we have moved doctor now, who are great but as mentioned very tight with epi pens, I keep fighting every year and eventually I get a second set for nursery. It's just an inconvenience more then anything and one i can deal with as eventually we get an epi unlike the school who flat out refuse a packed lunch 😟

hoping you get yours ok x

Two experiences to share. One, my anaphalactic to nuts DS came back from nursery with a model made from a crunchy nut cornflake packet!

Two - as a teacher - I went to the baking cupboard to get ingredients for a lesson and found sesame seeds spilling all over the other open packets.

Sadly many colleagues do not understand allergies and things happen.

This is appalling OP. They cannot deny her a school place because she has allergies. I look forward to hearing about their sheepish backdown.

This is absolutely ridiculous! She’s deranged. I’d definitely be asking to deal with the head instead. So what if it gets lost, she can get a new one. She needs to wear it!! It’s no bloody use safely at home not getting lost 😡

OP, there is no need for all this, schools are honestly not like this normally in my experience! Do please consider alternatives. The thing about the bracelet is really worrying. You have solved a big problem in advance with that -- most normal schools would welcome that with open arms.

Awful stories, i cant believe the crunchy nut packet....that is my nightmare.It seems unfortunately things like this seem to be happening all too often :(

Thank you I hope I can get somewhere with them and report back with a happy ending X

Your plan sounds sensible OP, but I’d be looking into different schools at the same time. Even if she has to start there and move after a few weeks or months. I agree with others that it sounds like they can’t be trusted to keep her safe, or any other children for that matter.

She also used the example of not letting kids wear a watch bcus they get lost...so i honestly think she's not informed/understanding the severity of my daughters allergies. She needs this bracelet and I will be fighting for her to wear it, she looks at it everytime I ask her what her allergies are.

Agree I can def start looking now and asking other schools how they deal with allergies... have no idea how to move her so I will need to look into that as well.

I think it would be fair to ask if they know the difference between an allergy and an intolerance. Some people still think they are the same. Which might explain the schools idiotic stance.

Honestly this is a fight you do not need to have. Do look at other schools.

Agree, I'll be looking into other schools. I'm so frustrated this is happening now, as I've been waiting since April to speak to this deputy head teacher and now it's june and times is quickly running out before sept rolls in

Lots of great advice and agree completely this is a reasonable adjustment. My ds has allergies to milk, soya and peanuts thankfully none are anaphylactic. The school have made 3 mistakes in 2 years . If he had life threatening allergies no way would I trust school to feed him.

I can def ask this. But tbh even from the convo i had with the deputy today where i (embarrassingly) cried in front of her explaining what happened at the first nursery with cheese...if this alone didn't get through to her the severity i don't know what will. 😫

3 mistakes in 2 years just sounds like 1 mistake too many, sorry your going through all this x

Fuck me as a fellow allergy parent this is terrifying. I'm shocked how ignorant presumably well educated people can be. No further advice but I'm confident you'll get what you need, but it must be exhausting for you to have to fight for something so basic.

Would she say a child couldn’t wear they’re glasses in case they get lost as well? She’s completely bonkers!
It sounds like she’s power mad and obsessed with the rules, rather than doesn’t understand allergies. As you said you’ve explained what happened at her old nursery.
I do think there are issues with people confusing allergies and intolerances, my DC had both, one each, both grown out of them now thankfully. Even the DC who had a true allergy though would only vomit and get hives. It doesn’t compare in anyway to a DC who is at risk of Anaphylaxis, especially with so many allergens to consider.

The first nursery I also fought for packed lunches and they flat out refused so being our first time I tried not to 'over react' and let them provide her with their food after thoroughly going through all the procedures etc etc...it only took 3 weeks for the cheese feeding incident that nearly cost her life.

Now I'm just used to dealing with this BS but it is so exhausting and i've been crying all day because I'm so scared for her and I'm so angry she's been refused basic things like safe food. I will keep fighting as I have no choice and obv I will be looking at other schools I just wish we didn't have to keep going through this battle all the time.

hope you have had an easier time with it all x

I also agree with others that this isn’t a typical response from the school. My child and my nephew have both needed “reasonable adjustments” at their schools and the schools have both been accommodating and sensible about it. I also have relatives who are teachers and this schools attitude seems bizarre, hopefully it’s this particular staff member who is taking things too literally and is on a power trip.

I think its def worth clarifying with her/others at that school who I speak to. I told her very clearly my daughter collapsed and couldn't breath..so you would hope she would get the picture but she still insists on school meals. I was kind of left speechless towards the end, like is this really happening 😂

I'm not sure if this is because it's an 'academy'...but like i mentioned the nursery/cheese incident also i faced a lot of hostility and that was a chain of nurseries busy bees

I think people/companies become defensive when something terrible happens due to their negligence. Which is awful and not the way to deal with these things.
As others have said you’d think they’d be delighted you’re willing to take responsibility for her food. Then they’d just have to make sure it’s not tampered with and she doesn’t share anyone else’s. It’s a very strange stance to be taking and maybe it is partly down to them being an academy.

This is completely, completely mad. I would name and shame the school. And find another school as I couldn’t trust them to keep dc safe. Allergies are so common now she can’t be the only child. If it were just one allergen you might believe they could ensure the kitchen is free from but multiple allergies. It’s obviously impossible. Is this something you could report to Ofsted? Must be a safeguarding issue? This has made me feel so angry (dc has severe nut allergy)

Not read other replies but I'd email the school requesting the packed lunch option and the reasons with a picture / scanned copy of the drs letter.

Add in this email you are following up from the conversation with senior teacher X so you have a record of the request and the school response.

If they still say no I'd go higher to their governors etc.

For me this would definitely make me choose another school as with all those allergies the school are not used to managing I'd think it's only a matter of time until she is given an ingredient she shouldn't be.

So scary but go with your gut and protect dd.

I have crazy thoughts like notifying the local press as I'm so angry but I'm trying to stay level headed and take one step at a time..I did notify ofsted with the first nursery and can do again if it comes down to it with this school.

They said they manage many children with allergies but they didn't specifically mention anyone with as many allergies as my daughter. You would think it would be virtually impossible to cater for all those hundreds of children and making sure that one child is completely safe and free of so many allergies...it only took 3 weeks for her first nursery to make a mistake 😤

With regards to the bracelet I'm sure she could wear two. It would be worth her wearing the school one as well as that is what staff will be looking out for.

agree an its usually only to save face/avoid negative publicity, which I literally don't care about when my daughter almost lost her life. Sadly I didn't get much remorse from the last place as they seemed to be so scared to say the wrong thing to me and in the end it came across as cold and heartless so now we are in this legal battle

personally i would love a mum like me to come and take the pressure off them, it seems like so much extra work for them to have to come up with a whole new menu, processes etc...i think it might be an academy thing i literally have no idea