Multiple Severe Allergies + School Won't Allow Packed Lunches?

[AllergyMumma]

Hello,

Please could I get some help/guidance?

My daughter has multiple severe allergies (Anaphylaxis) to:
-eggs
-nuts
-peanuts
-dairy
-sesame
-lentil
-penicillin

She is due to start primary school this sept, she will be joining Reception. I've spoken to a senior member of staff at the school regarding my daughters allergies and they have informed me that they do not allow packed lunches. They seem very adamant about this..

Last year at her first nursery (who also banned packed lunch), they made a mistake and gave her dairy cheese which resulted in my daughter having a severe reaction and nearly dying. Obviously after all of this I want to avoid anything like this ever happening again. She's 4 years old and she trusts any adult that helps her, I want to provide her safe food from home and eliminate anyone 'giving' her food that could potentially cause her harm... It's a large school with 90 children in Reception so I just want to reduce the risks as much as possible but I feel like I'm fighting against the school and getting no where.

The staff member made a flippant comment that "it's like opening your door and being hit by a bus, you just never know what will happen" which is NOT the same as suffering from multiple severe allergies. I feel really alone in dealing with this and wondering if anyone has experienced anything similar?

OP, make sure the school are aware of what happened to Karan Cheema - schools have to take allergies very, very seriously

www.mylondon.news/news/west-london-news/boy-who-flicked-cheese-leading-16258839.amp

OP, you've had some really good advice so far. I just wanted to say, stop asking for permission. You're being really nice.
Tell them, my child will be bringing in a lunchbox and that is the food she is to be fed.

End of. This is your child at the end of the day and it's up to you to keep her safe around those idiots. Don't ask. Finish your email with the FACT your child will be eating a packed lunch and offer to feed this back to the school governors if they take issue.

i really hope so..

i guess i'm just sensitive its a touchy subject for me, i've seen first hand how much she's suffered from other people stupid mistakes and it just breaks my heart because it's not her fault...shes innocent and she relies on her teachers to help her some of which find me a nuisance and think i'm over reacting.

thank you for this, i needed this x

What idiots. I’d definitely let It slip that you’re suing the old nursery.

i read about this, it's awful. this is the reason i'm suing the first nursery because i don't want them to think they can get away with it. the cheese feeder still works there by the way 😩

Dd has coeliac disease not life threatening but people make mistakes. Restaurants have made mistakes. Nobody can every guarantee they wouldn’t mess up.

yeah when my husband gets home I'm going to go through everything that happened today and all these amazing suggestions and decide how to move forward with all of this...

Yes, after Karan died, schools were all issued with very clear advice about how to prepare for allergies. It seems some of them have not listened.

thank you so much for your support x

Have confidence in yourself OP. I am a mother to a little girl who thankfully has no allergies, but hearing of stories like Natasha with Pret, honestly I would have no issue with standing my ground against a whole school of people telling me no. It's our job to keep our babies safe.
Say 'this is what will be happening' and mean it. Be a strong mama for your girl :)

it's so sad to hear about all these things that have happened and i'm really scared about what will happen when she starts school, as you're aware allergies aren't just in food and I've also experienced the thing about stirring cake batter..i think some people are not aware you can get a reaction from touch as well as ingesting. it's so frustrating and even though you explain it some staff just don't get it..

i've taught her to only eat 'special' food and she questions "is this special?" but she will listen to adults which worries me as they can make a mistake. she's pretty good with checking but she has a long list and i'm not sure she fully understands every allergy she has. i hope in time she can get better and i will keep trying to teach her

I work in a school kitchen and we have processes in place to prevent this(training,allergy sheets allergy bands etc). I thoroughly understand your concern so may I suggest you ask to see the menus allergen matrix this will identify what allergens are in each dish and desert . Your child's lunch should be your choice not forced on you by the school

Ask questions about other things they use too, e.g. chalk, paint etc. My DS has reacted to milk in chalk before.

I'm a reception teacher..we would absolutely support packet lunches in this instance!!

Who did you speak to at the school? Ask for a meeting with the head of early years and headteacher to discuss your daughters care plan than needs to her completed prior to her starting. Absolutely take the letter you have from the allergy doctor.

Your daughter could die if she is given the food she is allergic to so the school absolutely must create as water tight risk assessment as they can.

I would be concerned about all of the schools procedures around safety and safeguarding if they are so flippant with comments about a child with severe allergies. I would seriously consider a different school.

The dietician (in Wales anyway) issues school with a 'yellow allergen sheet'.
Ask your consultant/dietician if they issue one....it highlights your child's allergies, and affects, and treatment.
It should be part of the IHCP.
Get all of this together before September while you are waiting for meetings etc.
Your DD will need these papers in her file, it condenses the pertinent info one place.
(My DD is an allergy child too 😞).

I expect the school insist on school lunch for infants so they can claim the government funding. Could she come home for lunch? Otherwise I think you’ll have to insist on a reasonable adjustment basis. I’d also insist on packed lunch being kept away from the other children (yes they do get tampered with, usually it’s more about food being taken but you wouldn’t want to take any chances). I think you’d also have to insist on direct adult supervision, if she sits with other children with packed lunch they may not understand and things often get spilt (especially yogurt tubes which they manage to squirt over each other)

I'm not sure about teaching her to only eat 'special' food. A well meaning adult could think she is just being cute and agree with her that something is 'special' without understanding, and certainly other children who may be offering snacks would have no concept of what this means...

I know she is only young but i think sadly you possibly need to teach her that at the moment she only eats food that mummy & daddy (or whoever is trusted) give her. Until she is old enough to question further.

I'd make sure that every adult involved with lunch knows the problem. I can visualize someone taking her lunch box away and saying "you can't have that, you have to eat school lunch".

I agree with the previous poster that 'special' and 'yucky' would be prone to being misinterpreted by the people around her. If I was a temp dinner lady and a child asked me if a particular food was 'yucky' I would say "Of course not" because I wouldn't understand that she's actually asking if it has allergens.

I don't understand why they would want to cook a completely separate meal in a separate, decontaminated part of the kitchen when it would be so much easier for her to bring in safe food for herself. Point out them that her food can't go on the same hob or into the same oven because of the risk of splashing. Also that they will need to mark up cooking implements like spatulas and serving spoons (with red tape or something) that can only be used for her food in case of cross contamination. And you will need to have a document itemising all the procedures before she starts so that it can be checked by the allergy nurse/your DD's medical team/the solicitor that is helping you to sue the nursery to make sure they haven't missed anything.

Another organisation that might be able to help are SENDIASS. They help parents to communicate/negotiate with schools. They’ll also know whether the school could remove her place if you push it. I very much doubt they could, but SENDIASS will know for definite.
I think involving your husband is a good idea, good to show a united front, especially if he has a more assertive personality.
I agree that the deputy sounds deranged! It was so unprofessional and cruel and bizarre to make the comments about being hit by a bus.
My child has a “one page profile” for a different reason, but it’s a document for all staff to read before they work with him, lunch time staff, supply staff etc. They need to make sure your daughter has something similar detailing her allergies and just how serious they are. Plus what the procedure is if she has a reaction.
I also agree it would be sensible to mention you are having to sue her old nursery.
I’m sorry you’re having to deal with all this OP, it’s rubbish!

I agree with the previous poster that 'special' and 'yucky' would be prone to being misinterpreted by the people around her. If I was a temp dinner lady and a child asked me if a particular food was 'yucky' I would say "Of course not" because I wouldn't understand that she's actually asking if it has allergens.

I agree with this as well. Could you teach her to ask something like “is this safe for me because I have lots of allergies”.

Teach her to say 'am i allergic to this' rather than 'is this special' as it is clear then to strangers (eg supply teachers). Combine that with the laminated card catatonic's wonderful son recommends.
But, having said that, they really should be agreeing to a packed lunch as a reasonable adjustment. My DD has a severe dairy allergy (not anaphylactic thankfully but even a trace leads to such violent vomiting and diarrhoea she has to be hospitalized for a drip). Because the worst of the reaction is delayed unfortunately her teachers don't see how serious it is.
I have lost count of the number of times she has been given dairy by school in the 3 years she has been there. Even when she and the other child with a (less severe) dairy allergy further up the school both react the school try to claim it wasn't them and both families must have coincidentally given them dairy by accident that day - it's basically a 'you can't prove it' problem.
As your DD is anaphylactic it will be obvious if they poison her, but don't let them have the opportunity. I have such little faith in school kitchens. I'm a teacher in a different school and have had to step in in the canteen because I've seen a member of staff cross contaminate gluten and then serve it to a coeliac pupil. The pupil said she couldn't eat it because it was contaminated and they didnt believe her until my colleague and I intervened and backed her up. The canteen staff had no idea you couldn't mix spoons, they are minimum wage, fast turnover and minimal training in a lot of schools.
Sorry, long post, but in short - insist on packed lunch. Ask the Headteacher to sign a piece of paper taking full personal responsibility for any allergen that your child comes into contact with whilst having school dinners, and I bet they won't and will give in to the packed lunch.

Very valid point. I've taught her 'special' and 'yucky food' because unfortunately she gets a little confused with all the allergy terminology, she even get's confused that she has 'allergies' because she knows they are 'bad' and doesn't want anything to do with them! but she can list out all her allergies which is good....this is something i need to continue to work with her on. I'm hoping she will understand a bit more as she gets older but i can certainly drill it into her that she can only take food from mum and dad.