Multiple Severe Allergies + School Won't Allow Packed Lunches?

[AllergyMumma]

Hello,

Please could I get some help/guidance?

My daughter has multiple severe allergies (Anaphylaxis) to:
-eggs
-nuts
-peanuts
-dairy
-sesame
-lentil
-penicillin

She is due to start primary school this sept, she will be joining Reception. I've spoken to a senior member of staff at the school regarding my daughters allergies and they have informed me that they do not allow packed lunches. They seem very adamant about this..

Last year at her first nursery (who also banned packed lunch), they made a mistake and gave her dairy cheese which resulted in my daughter having a severe reaction and nearly dying. Obviously after all of this I want to avoid anything like this ever happening again. She's 4 years old and she trusts any adult that helps her, I want to provide her safe food from home and eliminate anyone 'giving' her food that could potentially cause her harm... It's a large school with 90 children in Reception so I just want to reduce the risks as much as possible but I feel like I'm fighting against the school and getting no where.

The staff member made a flippant comment that "it's like opening your door and being hit by a bus, you just never know what will happen" which is NOT the same as suffering from multiple severe allergies. I feel really alone in dealing with this and wondering if anyone has experienced anything similar?

[Innocenta]

Also, can you push them to make sure that her classroom teacher and any other adults who are regularly around her will have completed epipen training? Not only do that they can administer it safely but also to underline for them how serious her allergies are.

[Innocenta]

Yes, I agree it's unlikely anyone would do anything to her lunch! But if they make that a sticking point there are ways round it. And if you do develop any concern around it (like if other children start expressing interest in her food), you could consider secure storage x

[AllergyMumma]

@Irridescantshimmmer

Tell the school that due to your daughter being at high risk of anaphylactic shock, she is covered by legislation ( Equality Act 2010)

Protected characteristics are fully covered so if I was you, I'd put my foot down with them.

Do not take no for an answer and tell them you are sending your little girl to school with a packed lunch for her own safety.

Don't let them walk all over both of you, so you will have peace of mind that your little girl is safe with them.

Thank you I will look into the equality law and reference it. I want to put my foot down but wondering f they can legally kick us out of the school?? It's an independent academy school (not private school). once she has been allotted a place at a school can be be kicked out do you know?

[Simonjt]

A packed lunch would be a reasonable adjustment, allergies are covered under disability legislation.

My sons primary school have the same policy, they tried to stick to it but weren’t as rigid as yours, I asked the head to provide a signed letter stating that they wouls guarantee that my son wouldn’t be exposed to any of his two allergens, oddly enough they said no.

[AllergyMumma]

@Innocenta

Also, can you push them to make sure that her classroom teacher and any other adults who are regularly around her will have completed epipen training? Not only do that they can administer it safely but also to underline for them how serious her allergies are.

I plan to ask about the epi pen training, so far I've been told everyone will know about kids with special issues and know what to do in the event of an incident.

Honestly I've had so many bad experiences in the past, her last nursery and even her new nursery seem to be so reluctant to give her meds. On both occasions they waited for me to arrive at the nursery to administer it to her myself....so this time around I said I NEED you to follow the procedure and administer the meds (which is the whole point of a care plan)

[AllergyMumma]

@urrrgh46

Does you're DD have and EHCP? If so ask for an emergency review and get it written into the EHCP that you provide any food/drink your DD consumes.

no she does not. is this applicable to allergies...should I get one and if so how?

[AllergyMumma]

@becausetrampslikeus

My niece had a bad reaction to a school meal that was served to her in error because the cook didn't think the small amount would matter

And when staff change / go on sick they might not be aware of which child has a problem

Yes the letter should help - point out the medic is advising packed lunches so if they refuse to allow it they are disregarding medical advice

it then means it does not open any flood gates - only children with a previously diagnosed condition and a medical statement/ recommendation would be allowed packed lunches

I'm really sorry this happened to your niece. I really feel sometimes people don't understand the severity of allergies and how life threatening they can be..it's so sad.

will do.

[AllergyMumma]

@Simonjt

A packed lunch would be a reasonable adjustment, allergies are covered under disability legislation.

My sons primary school have the same policy, they tried to stick to it but weren’t as rigid as yours, I asked the head to provide a signed letter stating that they wouls guarantee that my son wouldn’t be exposed to any of his two allergens, oddly enough they said no.

What happened after they said no? Were you allowed to bring a packed lunch in the end?

It's a good idea to ask them to sign as I think they won't ever be able to guarantee 100% which gives my argument more stronger

[PastMyBestBeforeDate]

I would start to follow up every conversation about this with an email asking them to confirm their decisions and reasons. You may need evidence of exactly what's been said so you don't have to keep having arguments about this.

[AllergyMumma]

@Stormchaser1502

This is atrocious! From a fellow mum of a dc with severe food allergies, needing an epipen several times in school, you absolutely have a legal right to feed your child what you wish!

my dd was at a primary that set out to make all KS1 children have school meals. They couldn’t force this within ks2 due to the implications of compliance among all parents to pay for such a thing!

im assuming your school is along the same lines?

if school don’t listen, then take it to the disability section of education within County. This is definitely a disability and should be treated as such!

would they insist a diabetic have chocolate cake because the rest of the school were?! No! They’re being pig headed and ignorant

Yes I think free meal for first 2-3 years. then after this kids can bring their own packed lunch....which just frustrates me so much that she is banned because she is in reception!

will look into disability section of education thank you.

I totally agree regarding choc cake and diabetic. Speaking of diabetics she said several kids have diabetes and need insulin which they manage fine at the school. Not comparing diabetes to allergies but diabetes as I understand it is a medical condition that can be managed by medication (sorry i'm not an expert)...it's quite different from allergies which is a completely different thing. My daughter's body fights against everyday foods which can kill her and I don't want to expose her to that every day as I can't be there watching them cooking and preparing her meals.

[AllergyMumma]

@PastMyBestBeforeDate

I would start to follow up every conversation about this with an email asking them to confirm their decisions and reasons. You may need evidence of exactly what's been said so you don't have to keep having arguments about this.

very good point thank you! I'm actually in the process of suing the first nursery who have admitted liability so I understand how valuable a paper thread can be....

[Caveydavey]

OP you are being way too nice. Honestly way too nice. Do you have someone who is naturally erm assertive to take to your meeting? There really is no need to stand for this shit and you should be feel any gratitude that they might allow you rather white hot fury at their lack of respect for your daughter.


First put in an official and written
complaint about the comments from the member of staff. That wasn’t a bit ‘inappropriate’
that was hugely unprofessional and demonstrated a complete lack of awareness of safeguarding.
People don’t generally get hit by buses as they take precautions and beyond the comparison not making the point the speaker wanted it implies they see safeguarding your daughter as something that chance has a role in rather than management. That they used a comparison about accidental deaths to a mother whose child has nearly died because of an accident actually makes me angry for you. Send your complaint to the head teacher and the chair of governors. Do this because your complaint won’t mark you as a trouble maker but will ensure staff take better care of your child. I am a teacher. This shouldn’t be true but it can be, in some schools.


In the same letter:
Ask why they
are insisting that they won’t make a reasonable adjustment for your disabled child and ask them to confirm this in writing.

Ask them to confirm that they are planning to go against the recommendation of her allergy specialist.

Ask for their experience in feeding children with such multiple and severe allergies and ask them to provide you with a specific risk assessment.
Ask them what training they are planning for staff involved.

Ask whether they have consulted their insurers and whether the companies that provide the food have certified all food free if all possible contamination of all of the allergies.

Additionally,
thank them for reminding you of the security issue around all food and ask them how they intend to store your daughter’s lunch box to make sure she is safe.

Double check their policies for making all staff on site, including supply, aware of who your daughter is and check who has been trained in using the epi-pen and check where it will be kept.

Ask anything else you can think of.


Be angry and implacable. There is no need for this to happen. It’s not appropriate and any sensible school would be overjoyed that you will manage this for them.

I seriously question the ethos of a school commuted to policy rather than people.

[AllergyMumma]

@Beees

They can't legally enforce this what happens when she no longer gets free school meals are you all expected to pay?

If they are being difficult I would honestly just be telling them she's having a packed lunch and that's the end of the conversation. Personally I'm amazed they have never had push back on this nonsensical insistance they have to all eat the same hot meal.

As I understand it a lot of people have been complaining so this year starting in sept they allow KS2 and upwards to bring their own lunch. A lot of people don't like their family style eating arrangement...

I want to do this and insist shes having the food i provide but I'm scared they will kick her out of the school? Is this allowed? I honestly don't understand why I have to fight for a basic thing like this it seems so ridiculous. I feel she is being treated so unfairly its not her fault she has allergies and I'm definitely not just fighting for fun.

[BringBackCoffeeCreams]

@AllergyMumma

I think this is a good idea to approach it from the disability angle, I'm not too sure if she understands the severity of her allergies as I found the 'hit by the bus' comment really insensitive.

She says there is only one child in the whole school who has packed lunches and he is a non verbal autistic boy who refuses to eat anyone else's food...surely my daughter has a medical reason why school meals are not suitable as well. She was quick to point out there any many kids with allergies at the school and they manage them fine, but this is MY child and I'm not willing to see how it goes

She's being ridiculous and doesn't understand the severity of the problem. My DS has allergies and his school caters for them just fine. But that's because if they don't he gets a stuffy nose, itchy skin and a tummy ache. His friend on the other hand has severe allergies, carries and emergency pack with him at all times, and brings his own food. There is no way a school should be insisting on taking a risk like this. No way at all.

[Lulu1919]

Is this an independent school ?

[Mummyoflittledragon]

@AllergyMumma

no she does not. is this applicable to allergies...should I get one and if so how?

Your dd needs and EHCP. My dd has one for another reason. I imagine one for your dd would detail the allergies, what affect ingesting the allergens will have, and give the procedure for looking after your dd in the event of anaphylaxis.

[AllergyMumma]

@Caveydavey

OP you are being way too nice. Honestly way too nice. Do you have someone who is naturally erm assertive to take to your meeting? There really is no need to stand for this shit and you should be feel any gratitude that they might allow you rather white hot fury at their lack of respect for your daughter.


First put in an official and written
complaint about the comments from the member of staff. That wasn’t a bit ‘inappropriate’
that was hugely unprofessional and demonstrated a complete lack of awareness of safeguarding.
People don’t generally get hit by buses as they take precautions and beyond the comparison not making the point the speaker wanted it implies they see safeguarding your daughter as something that chance has a role in rather than management. That they used a comparison about accidental deaths to a mother whose child has nearly died because of an accident actually makes me angry for you. Send your complaint to the head teacher and the chair of governors. Do this because your complaint won’t mark you as a trouble maker but will ensure staff take better care of your child. I am a teacher. This shouldn’t be true but it can be, in some schools.


In the same letter:
Ask why they
are insisting that they won’t make a reasonable adjustment for your disabled child and ask them to confirm this in writing.

Ask them to confirm that they are planning to go against the recommendation of her allergy specialist.

Ask for their experience in feeding children with such multiple and severe allergies and ask them to provide you with a specific risk assessment.
Ask them what training they are planning for staff involved.

Ask whether they have consulted their insurers and whether the companies that provide the food have certified all food free if all possible contamination of all of the allergies.

Additionally,
thank them for reminding you of the security issue around all food and ask them how they intend to store your daughter’s lunch box to make sure she is safe.

Double check their policies for making all staff on site, including supply, aware of who your daughter is and check who has been trained in using the epi-pen and check where it will be kept.

Ask anything else you can think of.


Be angry and implacable. There is no need for this to happen. It’s not appropriate and any sensible school would be overjoyed that you will manage this for them.

I seriously question the ethos of a school commuted to policy rather than people.

Thank you so much for this I'm going to do everything you said you made some amazing suggestions. To be honest with you I'm a bit worried about rocking the boat with them and being kicked out of the school..(not sure if this is allowed by law) but at the same time I will not be putting my child in danger and will esculate this if needed. As I have done with the first nursery who I am now suing...but obviously I wish I had been a lot more assertive before the awful incident happened.

I want my husband to talk to them as he's very straight to the point and a little scary😂. I don't think she would have many any of those 'hit by a bus' comments with him. He works very long hours and wasn't able to meet with the deputy today but maybe I should get him to speak to them...

[Lulu1919]

She could have the vegan option ?

[ElegantlyTouched]

When you go I ask to speak to the head of catering. They'll be the ones actually in charge of making sure things are 100% watertight.

[MrsMariaReynolds]

Family style meal time for reception-Y2 sounds like a cross-contamination nightmare waiting to happen. (I work in a primary school, during lunchtimes and see every day how easily things can go wrong) The mind baffles!

Stick to your guns, Op. I cannot believe a school would be so insistent on a no packed lunch policy that they aren't willing to accommodate your child's needs. I am so sorry :(

[AllergyMumma]

@Mummyoflittledragon

Your dd needs and EHCP. My dd has one for another reason. I imagine one for your dd would detail the allergies, what affect ingesting the allergens will have, and give the procedure for looking after your dd in the event of anaphylaxis.

will look into this thanks, from my quick google search it looks like his is more geared towards special education needs but will make sure to check if she's eligible. willing to try anything to help her

[WhatNowwwww]

@Innocenta

This is a reasonable adjustment for disability. Push them more firmly - it's absolutely unreasonable for them to say no. You have every right to insist on this for your DD's safety.

(Adult with multiple allergies and anaphylaxis, though I don't have DC.)

Use this phrase to them OP. It’s a legal requirement that they make reasonable adjustments and this is a perfectly reasonable and sensible request! Plus it’ll make things easier for their kitchen staff.
I also think allowing the charity to speak to them sounds a good idea. Definitely put your foot down!

[2022again]

worth also getting in touch with the school nurse service...we had them intercede with the school when we had issues around how the school managed my childs continence issues ( also often mismanaged in classroom settings where they have "policies" of not letting children go to the loo during lessons but obv. not life-threatening!!!) ...as they go into the school ,sometimes its worth having the school hear the risks directly from a health professional.

[AllergyMumma]

@MrsMariaReynolds

Family style meal time for reception-Y2 sounds like a cross-contamination nightmare waiting to happen. (I work in a primary school, during lunchtimes and see every day how easily things can go wrong) The mind baffles!

Stick to your guns, Op. I cannot believe a school would be so insistent on a no packed lunch policy that they aren't willing to accommodate your child's needs. I am so sorry :(

I've heard the family style meals don't go down very well as no one helps themselves to food..and it all gets cold and gets thrown in the bin 😢😂I always imagine a kid licking the spoon and putting it back 😫

Like I mentioned she will be on the special table which I'm grateful for at least and she will have a special tray next to the only boy in the school with a packed lunch. I hope she can join him with her packed lunch soon...

[WhatNowwwww]

I think an IHCP is probably what she needs instead of an EHCP. Individual Healthcare Plan.