The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Summer into Autumn 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice, solidarity and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. We love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too. You're here because you are strong and want to pull free. However ashamed and wretched you are feeling right now, as you read this sentence, I can absolutely guarantee that someone here has felt exactly as you do now and knows what you are enduring. It can change. You are not shameful. You are strong and you CAN do this.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Evenings are drawing in, the season of hot chocolate approaches. Power up with your favourite anthem (The ever-fabulous Dolly is reminding us "Better Get To Livin'"; and the Wilson Phillips girls "Hold On" in hot pursuit) and find your safe space here. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Morning all.
Good to hear from you @EastCoastDamsel and glad to hear things are getting slightly better

Good morning.

A really bad night’s sleep for me with bad dreams.

Day three.

Hope you are doing ok @ShyMaryEllen 🌺.

Good morning my friends.

A bit later today.
We're moving quickly towards Christmas I feel. I order a few more things yesterday.
I needed new jeans and it's always a challenge for me. No bum, loads of belly and tall. I might of cracked it with white stuff.

The DD bought a wig yesterday. She's off to a cinema party next week. I must confess I fancied one of those. I spend most of my time with a ballerina bun.
I did ask the DS if he was with us this year now he's coupled up and he said yes so I won't have any leftovers!

Condolences @ShyMaryEllen x

Cottage viewing late afternoon. Very excited.

Good morning @WendyWagon .

A fellow tall girl here (I’ve always hated my height). Weirdly, despite being 1.82 m, I have smallish feet (size 40 or 6.5).

Sounds like I need to check out White Stuff.

Long Tall Sally used to be good for certain basics (even if not that fashionable), but since they were bought over during COVID I feel the quality is not the same.

Next Tall can also be a bit of a hit and miss (I think Next clothes in general used to be so much better quality years ago).

Good luck with the viewing.

@GunnelVallquist well done on your three days. Keep peddling that bike!

I'm 1.80m and have always been happy with that. My mum, aunt and cousin are/ were taller. Son 6'6"!

I'm going to wear my new jeans in honour of the cottage. I bid on in it four years ago before we bought our current abode and nothing has measured up to it thus far. It has been changed a lot I think. Much more masculine. Bring on the pink I say!

They're still at it on the other thread re definition of an alcoholic and who gets to call themselves that. It isn't a badge many would want!

Morning @REP22 , how's Sid?

Thanks @WendyWagon . I’m aware that I’m entering my ‘danger zone’. We’re off to the shops later on so I’ll have to be strong.

Sounds like the cottage is the ‘one that got away’?

Also sounds like I need to check out that thread.

Thank you both. I’m doing ok. We sorted the funeral arrangements yesterday, which was surprisingly easy. There is still a house to clear, but I guess that can be done in stages.

i slept really badly last night, but that’s to be expected. I’ll keep up my routine and power through. I plan to get rid of a lot of clothes today, so I can put things away more easily. I have a box of velvet coat hangers waiting, so Operation Clearout begins today.

I hate doing it, but will feel satisfied when it’s done, and it should cut some of the stress of not knowing who might want to stay over around the time of the funeral.

I will add a green cell to my spreadsheet later. 😀

Morning (just) all.

Plodding along here. Well, perhaps more than plodding as I’m marathon training, so pootling might be more apt. 16 miles run this morning, which is glorious here. I’d normally use this as an excuse to have plenty of wine tonight but I’ve successfully broken that association a while ago.

Had a friend over last night, they are doing Sober October - I said I’d join them. Technically it makes no difference to me as I’m not drinking anyway, but it might make them feel somewhat less solitary.

Still here. I’ve felt a bit ‘meh’ this week, being a carer can be rather isolating and monotonous, so I’ve tried to reframe it as this being a normal, uneventful, quiet existence that we crave for when life is more chaotic. The sun is shining, we have our health, a roof over our heads and food in the cupboard. And a cocker spaniel 😊

I'm sorry for your loss @ShyMaryEllen and wish you a long life ❤

I am so so sorry, but I think I have to take a break yet again.

Should have known October was going to be impossible as a sober starting point…it’s my mother’s birthday, my birthday and the anniversary of my first miscarriage (I know I said I never wanted children because of my mother and that was the truth…the cruel irony is that I changed my mind at 39 and while I did not touch a drop of even caffeinated tea during that time, never mind alcohol, I miscarried at three months, one day before my 40th birthday)

This is a while ago now but I still struggle with it.

What might have been.

That way madness lies, I know.

I am sorry to let everyone down again. I promise I wasn’t lying when I said I’d managed to make it both to eight months and then again seven months a couple of years later.

I just can’t seem to cope anymore though.

Not at the moment anyway.

Thanks so much for the flowers @anewyearthisyear .,,so sweet and much appreciated.

I think maybe it’s a rather twisted case of things coming ‘full circle’…my mother born in October (she herself was no contact with her parents), me born in the same month, me miscarrying also in October…

The universe’s way to say ‘No, this ends here’?

I did try one more time and miscarried again (a few years later).

I’m sorry for bringing everyone down 😢😢

There's no need to leave us altogether, @GunnelVallquist. We don't post while drinking, and don't talk about what we've consumed, as that can very easily lead to 'oh, that won't do any harm' types of comment that can be difficult for anyone struggling to stay on the wagon, but most of us slip from time to time, and come back when we've done a couple of days off the booze.

This thread is for people trying to be teetotal. That's very much the aim for all of us (as opposed to moderation), but nobody here is in a position to judge anyone else. You could drop in and out (no need to explain - just come and go?) or join one of the moderation threads if that's something you might find more comfortable.

I was 100% sober for eight years, and genuinely didn't think I'd pick up again. I felt so much better, and knew I was a more likeable person when sober, but a comment in a hospital clinic made me think I could have an occasional drink, and around two years later I'm at the top of what would be a slippery slope if I let it. I just can't do 'an odd drink', and must have been a complete idiot to think otherwise.

I'm determined not to slip down that slope though, hence the grim determination to make things work going forward. The annoying thing was I was well past the stage when it was difficult. Not drinking was just what I did (or didn't do). I could easily be in company of drinkers and not be tempted, go on holiday and so on, and many people had never known me to drink, but I've lost that now. Psychologically I need to get things back to where they were.

100% my own fault, but it's so annoying.

Hi @GunnelVallquist - I’m so sorry you are struggling. You have insight and that’s valuable. You perhaps need to find the strategies that work now for the triggers. We are all so different in this regard as to what is successful for us as individuals, but I hope you can find yours.

@ShyMaryEllen - thank you for sharing, that’s incredibly valuable to me at least to hear your experience - especially after 8 years - that we are still vulnerable.

Tired tonight - but the sober sleep is a sleep of deep satisfaction and I’m ready for it today.

@GunnelVallquist I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling. I hope you will come back to the thread when you are ready.

Hello all, welcome newbies! I’m at day 292 (other than a couple of tiny blips) but have been away from Mumsnet for a while. I have breast cancer, I’m a very level headed, practical person and the prognosis is good so I don’t want/need any “I’m so sorry” messages, I know it’s not a nice thing to deal with but I’m dealing. We have family history BUT my many years of drinking did not help matters. Just thought I’d jump on here to give all you superstars another reason to carry on leading your good, AF lives! I always worried about my liver (which is surprisingly healthy!), never thought about my boobs. Hope you’re all well, I’ll catch up on the thread when I’m in hospital, just trying to keep things normal/stay busy before treatment starts.

I will not drink today

Ah @TwoNicePuppies good luck.
Your user name always made me laugh but then I have a mucky mind!

Morning all.
Not a good sleep as I was playing cottage and moving furniture around.
I bought myself another coat yesterday and as my mother would say that's quite enough Wendy!

@GunnelVallquist are you in the south?

Rep and I are and we're very good at hugs! ❤️

Good to hear from you @TwoNicePuppies glad you are on the right path, but it is rubbish. Thank god we aren’t drinking.

My husband has picked up the odd glass of wine again, he was never a problematic drinker though, but the temptation is in the house. I’m still chipping away. Looking forward to my second Christmas as I really enjoyed last year.

I am @WendyWagon 😭

Thank you for sharing this @ShyMaryEllen 🌺

Thank you @needastrongone .

I definitely need a coping mechanism.

Thank you @PhantomOfAllKnowledge .

I shall try again.

Hello @TwoNicePuppies . 👋

Good luck with your treatment 🌺.