71 days sober and struggling not to drink after chat with DD

[MaggieBsBoat]

I am now 71 days sober. I’ve been doing really well. This is the longest I’ve ever managed and I feel proud.
Today my daughter opened up to me about her experience of childhood sexual abuse. It was bad. This is the first time she’s spoken to me about it. I had no idea. It’s lunchtime and I feel broken and want to drink a bottle of wine or two and take pills to sleep. I need to post to say something aloud. It isn’t about me but I feel distraught and murderous. I would be so grateful if someone could reply, telling me how to stay calm and not drink. At the moment I am justifying a bad decision with it’s just one day. But I can’t. I mustn’t. Thank you if you can. 🙏

OP you're a legend

I'm sorry I've come onto this late but just wanted to say, well done, especially for reaching out 🤗 you've got this

OK. Virtual handhold. I can’t say I know how it feels to hear that news. But I do know how hard it is to feel everything and not numb it with drink. It’s hard, but in the long run it’s healthier. If you drink, you’ll have these horrors to deal with still, they’ll only have been temporarily numbed, and the fact you drank on top. It may be tempting, but it is NOT the answer. 🌹

Can you take an online yoga class, meditation, something like that? Your daughter came to you, she is rebuilding that trust. It is so important not to fail her now. You're doing great.

This is a good idea. I do have a meditation app on my phone which is great and I had forgotten about it!
I woke at 4. couldn’t sleep for thinking, but I woke up and I am officially on day 72.
Thank you 🙏

@MaggieBsBoat congratulations!! Amazing achievement 🎉 I’m sure yesterday was so hard with your DD but you won anyway. Stay strong, 73 is just round the corner 💪

Just wanted to pop in and say I am so impressed with you for reaching out and getting through what must have been a very difficult day and night. You've stayed strong for your daughter and you can carry that knowledge with you. We'll done you are a great Mum for doing that 😘Keep it up!

Hey, I’m really proud of you. Keep going, one day at a time x

Op well done you are amazing and strong. You should be proud of yourself. I hope you and your DD will be ok. Be kind to yourself.

Happy day 72. Keep going!

Well done! I hope today goes well. We are all behind you, supporting you and your daughter

Absolutely brilliant. I have tears in my eyes knowing what you have achieved.

You cannot beat waking up without a hangover. Hugs to you.

Going it alone can be very difficult if not impossible I suggest giving the AA helpline a call to help point you in the right direction I would suggest face to face meetings rather than online in your early days.The only person you will talk to on the helpline are other alcoholics who have the experience to help you.
Sober over 20 years so I understand the struggles you are going through but what ever happens I can 100% guarantee you a drink won't make it better

This internet stranger is SO proud of you. You were my first thought when I woke up and I’m so so glad you made it day 72.

@MaggieBsBoat , just came to this and am so proud of you! 👏 I hope you managed a lie-on after your early morning wake...

You need to look after two people now - your DD, and yourself! As you support her, make sure you also keep yourself fed, slept and watered, and lightly busy or distracted... Get a walk outside, even ten minutes can change your headspace...

And I agree with getting some support if you can - and meditation, deep breathing - all good. Don't mind if the meditation's a bit shonky to start with, it's the practice that makes the difference.

Thinking of you and cheering you on! You were so brave to come here, but you've got so many people on your side!

💐

Just wanted to send you hugs 🫂 you are doing so well! What an amazing determined woman you are, turning your life around like this! One day at a time - keep going 💐

One day at a time sweetheart. This moment. This breath. This step forward. Keep talking. Keep moving. Keep going.

Well done on making it to day 72! Day 73 here you come! 😃

Arghhh I’m crying again. You. Are. All. Amazing. 🤩

This is so profoundly moving to read.

My beloved, strong, wise, brilliant, loving mother was an alcoholic, and if she had been able to do what you have done, OP, what a difference it would have made: to her, and to me.

It would have given me the knowledge that it is possible to change, that a person deserves to care for herself, that problems can be faced and dealt with. You are setting that amazing example for your daughter. In some way, you are doing it for every damaged, hurt daughter, whose own mother didn't have the wherewithal to do it.

Thank you.

Wow, this is amazing to read. What an amazing mum you’ve been to your daughter today OP. I can’t imagine how hard it has been for you and you got through it. Huge well done to you and I’m so sorry about it your daughter. I’m glad she could come to you though.

Hi @MaggieBsBoat hope you are still going strong, have been thinking of you and your daughter with fingers crossed for you both xx

Oh god now I have tears. WELL DONE, OP!!!!! ✨💖💕🏆🥇💖🪄✨

Thank goodness you were sober so that your daughter could confide in you. Just imagine if you had been pissed. She probably would never have had the opportunity and guts to tell you.

Well done on being the mother your daughter needed.

Yes. Thank you. This happened 8 years ago and I am quite sure, now that I have read the posts on this thread, that she told me now because she could see me mentally and emotionally present. And this, knowing this has helped me not touch the wine or the whisky. This thread has done incredible work in helping me realise this. I just didn’t see the connection. I was for a while there (still am) in a flurry of anger and sadness and regret and guilt rather than seeing what was in front of me, a young woman needing her mum.

I am reading and rereading this thread. Your posts are like balm for the soul. Thank you. I wish I could address you all individually but you are so many and so wonderful. @Greenfinch7 and other PPs who have alcoholic parents, I am so sorry. I am just so sorry. No child deserves to be less important than the bottle. No child should be collateral damage to an addiction. You deserved better. I am sorry.

I am on a new day, day 73, and I am ok. I am still struggling with sleep but one thing I’ve learnt is how disruptive to sleep booze is! So I can handle this. My DD is avoiding me at the moment I think. I don’t know why but I respect her space. She is staying with friends. I text her just to remind her I love her and that she knows where I am. And I wait Hopefully I get to hold her again soon.