The support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Summer 2026

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.
There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.
Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.
The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.
So climb aboard and join the shipmates (as well as our dog mascot Sid!) and see how good alcohol free life can be.

I didn't see that thread @WhatMaggieDidNext - but there was a news item on earlier about how younger people are increasingly choosing AF beer or low-alcohol wine when out and about. The reporter spoke to one young lady and said "I can't help noticing that you've gone for an extra-strength alcoholic beer." She replied, laughing "well, why wouldn't I?!". I can think of a few reasons... my reaction was similar to yours!

Sid likes watching 'Police Interceptors', but has recently also started on "999: On the Front Line" about ambulances. The number of poor s-ds they have to go out to who are unconscious drunks is striking. Young people too, not stereotypical sad old winos. Frequently they've both puked and pissed on themselves. That's not a future I want for myself.

I saw that thread @WhatMaggieDidNext. I felt the same. There's another one going this morning that I wish I hadn't opened - it's a drinker complaining that non drinkers are boring. It's sort of all the things I worry about. Interesting that the non drinkers are calling the drinkers smug and judgemental and the same the other way. Sigh!

I saw that post @Lavrander i think it just shows the issues a lot of them have with booze. I had to stop reading after the first page though.
I actually don’t care if I'm a bit boring, I choose my health, my children, my future. I know how much better I feel.

Morning all.
Exciting day for your Wendy today. A viewing of the one level barn conversation (loads of friends saying this could be really good for you like I'm a tottering old duck) and I'm picking up my new car at last after the delays.
However I know most have my wellbeing at heart. The DS approves and he's a hard man to please.
The barn has a pigeonaire. I do like a bit of history. It's also has a lovely name. A huge amount of our houses have been on farms. I love them but it always involves new fencing for our mad dogs. We'll see dear friends.

I'm glad the heat is a little less, I need to do some gardening later. If anyone has a suggestion for AF Pimm's please share.

Morning all.
Oh you made me look @Lavrander !! What I think most interesting is that OP doesn’t like sober people OR heavy drinkers. So they only want to socialise with people exactly like them - I don’t think tribalism is necessarily worse now than it was in the past, but social media certainly makes it easier to beat our metaphorical chests about “our” tribe and keep the thread on the active page.

Hence I have resisted the urge to post this on there …

Good morning Shipmates,

SO exciting @WendyWagon - hope it continues to get better and better. I like the sound of a pigeonaire. Perhaps you could train up a few to send dropped "messages" to the wrong 'uns that plague you, hehe!

@FiloPasty and @Onewildandpreciouslife you're right. We are not boring; we are vibrant and winning. But this makes others uncomfortable. Our sobriety is a light that drinkers dislike because it shines into the dark cracks in themselves that they would rather not examine. Undiagnosed guilt is what it is. I try not to judge their barbs; actually I am sorry for them. Because I was them once and it did not go well. No judgement; just sadness. Maybe they can moderate as I cannot. Good for them then.

Cabin Boy/Powder Monkey Sid has a little midweek competition for you: spot the difference. Two Fat Rascals. Only one is from Betty's tea rooms. But which could be which...?!

Strength and courage. It will be alright. x

@WendyWagon theres a great one by a company called Anon English Garden they might sell direct but I got on Amazon. It’s such a good dupe!

I 💕 Betty's.

Oh my lovelies I have seen a fabulous new home. What a corker, it photographs badly.
It's in a little backwater to our village. I didn't know it was there. I love it and it's one level.

Picked up the new car and it drives like a skateboard.
A good day after being scared witless on Monday.

I knew the right house was waiting! @WendyWagon what great news! X

Is everyone watching the football, I’m off out to get some snacks for dinner :)

Exciting @WendyWagon !

I can't bear to watch the football @FiloPasty - I really hope England win, but my nerves can't stand it! Have you seen the BBC drama "Dear England" on the iPlayer? It's a four-part drama about Gareth Southgate's managerial tenure, based on the stage play and starring Joseph Fiennes. Absolutely excellent, I thought.

Come on England 🦁🦁🦁 - any defeat, and Sid will require a face-to-whisker explanation. You don't want that, boys. You don't want that.

Oh @FiloPasty it is the right house. I could have cried. ❤️ I thought we were being shown round by the new lady, we got J (Benny from Crossroads!). Total plonker. 'Loads of interest crap'. DD will see it Monday then hopefully I will buy it.

I am going to watch the football. I've done the watering, I'm now going to break my code and go on Amazon looking for English Cup.

Sorry about the England loss. I'm not English but was enjoying the journey and dared to hope they might get one step further with such a great squad. Enjoyed a family watch this evening with my alcohol free beers.

At least there is the good news about the potential house for you @WendyWagon so will hang onto that one.

Thanks for mentioning the boring non-drinkers thread @Lavrander I had a look and it made me see how I've grown as a person since being sober. Seems so limiting and false to restrict your close interactions with friends until you're a few drinks in. Not a healthy way to be. Since being sober I am being more genuine around others and have also noticed that lots of my friends had already cut their drinking to practically nothing anyway 😂 I was one of the only ones still drinking like it was 20years ago. And if that's boring so be it. Healthmaxxing as they're now calling it.

Morning all.
Disappointing about the football, but I was very grateful I could just turn off the TV and go to bed, without still having my adrenaline spiked by alcohol, or facing a morning of defeat plus a hangover

Ooh! I’ve just found a fab website called dryboots. It has a map showing where sells AF alternatives, and lots of reviews of AF products. They have an app too

Dryboots.com

Morning all.

Dryboots looks fab. I'll order the Sab B and see.

So excited on the barn conversion front I couldn't sleep. Neither the DH or DD like our old market town. Full of Nouveau as the DD would say. They really are up their own bottoms. I don't mind it but we've seen three houses in the same price bracket and this one tops the lot. I was gardening in my dreams and it means we can retire fully in 21 months. Chickens too if I can sneak them in!
Life goes so quickly and I want to enjoy it.

I'm so behind, I took some time away from mumsnet which was needed. I love being part of this thread and the lovely community we have here so will try to limit just looking here.

All good here and on day 73 and feeling great about it. I haven’t been craving alcohol but have had a few days here and there where it was stressful situations and I wanted a drink! Made me realise just how much I used alcohol as a coping mechanism! Now I’m sitting with my feelings and working through them with a clear head.

@Hameth you’re right and my attempt at cutting back has backfired. I’m not stressing about it

@WendyWagon great news on the house 🤞

I hope everyone's well!

I'm slightly struggling, though not with my lifestyle which is fine - no struggles on that front, except for too much yoghurt & frozen fruit for breakfast, with a huge dollop of honey.

I moved sector a couple of years ago, hoping I'd be able to get on quickly. But the economy has hit the sector hard and there are very few opportunities to progress. Most of the opportunities are in London.

I earned more 20 years ago, in my early 20s and just so demoralised. I'm ambitious and well-trained, but can't work in London for now.

If anyone has been through similar - what's the best way of adapting?

I've been working evenings and weekends to 'catch up' but beginning to wonder if I'm just banging my head against a brick wall.

@taylorean I am really sorry things are not going to plan. I know it's no consolation but SLT hires are down by at least 50%. I have friends younger than me looking for new jobs for two years and being offered salaries from ten years ago. You're not alone.
Build up your experience because things will get better. Online courses are also useful and could be free. X

Welcome @Grandmashorty and @MsAmanda

@taylorean I’m sorry you’re under pressure about job opportunities. It’s dire out there. In my sector too, stagnating salaries and freelance rates less than 5-8 years ago. I am starting a new job in a couple of months, but I’m under no illusion it’ll be significantly better than my current one, I was just fed up of my current one and wanted any change. I hope something comes your way, especially since you did the sensible thing of being proactive and changing direction.

I’m miserable about the England loss and I’ll do what I need to cheer up: booked myself a haircut. I found someone who still had appointments free on the day and it’s only £45 (usually £70-90 here), so might be a very junior junior, but it’s only hair.

@WendyWagon sounds good about the prospective house! I’ve just started re-watching The Good Life, if you need inspiration about growing chickens 🐓

@postcard I love chickens. My husband loves eggs. I can put the muck on my compost. There are stables close by to the barn so I'll be out buying horse muck for my roses.
My late ( and difficult) mother wouldn't pay for riding lessons for me as I had ballet classes. My sister is an excellent rider, both my brother's a natural. I haven't kept chickens before but I want Milly, Molly and Mandy which makes me laugh.
We had a cockrel who did a dawn crow. One neighbour took him to the forest. The bugger was home, back in his tree the next night.

I shall turn into Margo with a touch of Barbara.

Morning all
@tayloreanI'm afraid I have no useful advice on getting ahead - it is a really hard market out there. However what's helping me at the minute is to focus more on the rest of my life. A magazine from the district council came through the door today and it showed survey results from asking 60+ what they wanted to achieve in the next 12 months as well as what their priorities were - better health, better fitness, travel and independence was the headlines

I appreciate you're ambitious; I am too, but whilst nothing is moving I'm trying to focus on the things I can control. Those jobs I applied to a few weeks ago went nowhere! I'm going to stay put and eke out as much as I can from my current job, and value the fact I can do it standing on my head so I can focus on my wellbeing. And putting a little bit more in my pension! Maybe that's something you can do too?

I have real ambitions to be a Margo one day.

Good morning shipmates.
I am still happy as a pig in sh*t re the barn so that must mean something.
I'm planning on having the auctioneers in next week to shift the extra furniture. Last time I moved I had paid £20k to store it!

I found a bottle of my son's favourite aftershave yesterday left over from my shops. It was just looking at me in a pile of toy trains I had been sorting. It's a bit woo woo as I know it wasn't there the day before.👻
I'm hoping I find a missing piece of jewellery over the coming weeks.

Hot day due here and I now have two of the John Lewis linen dresses (fleebay). I'm going to find my hat so I can waft.

Good luck for a sober Friday.

Good morning, sober darlings, and a kiss on the muzzle for Powder Monkey Sid, if he will permit the liberty! 😘

Starting Day 5 without a drink here and finally starting to feel human... I was shocked by how very ghastly I felt this time - I didn't think I was drinking 'that much', just a few home pours most nights of the week, right...? 🙄

But this felt like a real 'google Alcohol Withdrawal Symptoms and tick all the boxes', plus a few extra just for me... awful, existential despair and flattening physical malaise and horrifying dreams in my sweat-drenched bed... I thought 'this can't be withdrawal, I must be really ill'... But it was. Which is a bit scary. What I was doing to myself.

But here I am, awake and relatively alert after a jolly decent sleep, and feeling sooo grateful for this! And clambering aboard the Good Ship Freedom, and feeling inspired by the '60+ priorities' that @Lavrander quoted above because I turned 61 last week... And inspired by the sober-positive chat on here (I saw that 'I don't like people not drinking around me' thread too - not shocked or surprised but it was still pretty dispiriting). This is why places like this are so important - we are the counter-culture! And I kinda like that... 😏

So I won't gabble on, though my energy is going that way... Have a lovely Friday, and a weekend of pozzy vibes!

🤪

Late on today Shipmates - I was working to support a new team an hour away from normal area. Lots of friendly geese to cheer the soul and some aerobatic gentlemen from the UAE. Sid was not involved.

Lovely to hear from you @Gribouille - Sid thanks you very much for your tender kiss on his muzzle and returns the favour with a big Sidkiss and hearty tail wag. You shall find an extra dab of powder and an expertly trimmed new wick on your cannon. Happy birthday for last week! ❤️

So glad you are enjoying top days @WendyWagon - you really deserve happiness.

If anyone is looking for a TV recommendation (or even if you're not), may Sid and I recommend "Billy and Molly: An Otter Love Story"? A documentary film. Uplifting, touching and genuinely funny in places (and without the mawkish ending that some in the genre fall foul of). Delightful. Available on Channel 4 (free) and Disney+ (subs).

Sid and I are off to cricket tomorrow, all being well. Sid likes cricket. And he gets a Big Chew at the boundary if he is a good boy (he always is). Here he is, enjoying the shade that we are just about to go out and revisit this evening.

Strength, courage and love to you, wonderful shipmates. Keep going - you're on the way now, all shall be well. xx