Calling Time on Wine - the next 100 days after the first 100 day reset | Thread 3: Continuing to support and navigate together.

[needastrongone]

As promised, a new thread.

As the title states, this is the third thread. It started for those of us who wanted some support and a safe place to navigate a 100 day alcohol reset. Most of us on the thread wanted more time and space than Dry January to fully reset and maybe reflect more on our relationship with alcohol than one month.

What we also found was the most wonderfully supportive and uplifting set of folk, all with the common intention of being AF from January for 100 days. A few blips along the way for some (including me at the beginning) but for those that have, we’ve tried to understand why they happened and most of us have continued to be AF going forward and managed 100 AF days since January.

We are going for another 100 (we all liked the idea of breaking being AF into chunks of time) and I don’t think it matters one bit if new folk want to climb on board and start from here, we can all offer a friendly and non judgmental place here.

Holiday is tomorrow just for a few days @needastrongone and yes it’s because you don’t get that “ high” which in my case last half an hour then you spend the whole next day suffering. I guess this is what we need to work through

Morning all, another alcohol free weekend ahead. Like @SwiftyFifty I’ve also had a bit of a moment.. last night the thought of a cool glass of wine popped into my head for some reason. Just a fleeting moment but a reminder to me that the calling is still very much there!! I brushed it aside and carried on with my evening and I’m grateful to wake up not feeling regretful. Had I given in things would be very different this morning so I’m holding onto that thought. One thing I’ve noticed of recent - the house is so much cleaner 😆 I busy myself often as a distraction by cleaning. A quick blast here and there, the kitchen is spotless! Floors you could eat off, it’s certainly paying off. Today’s plan is shelf building and mowing the lawn.. by 3/4pm high tide we are off to the beach hut for a chippy tea at sundown. Have a wonderful Saturday all xx

What productive days people are having! It's the first day of having the builders in my house and I wouldn't have committed to having the work done if I was still drinking. This morning would have been horrendous with a hangover too

Thanks everyone for the warm welcome. As a newbie it’s inspiring to read about those of you who have done 100 plus days. I’m only on Day 5, but enjoying seeing a streak building up on Try Dry and sleeping better.

A few issues raised that have made me think -

@CoffeeCupMilk - you asked about Quit Lit. I’ve read all the main ones - Annie Grace, William Porter, etc and it changed my thinking completely. I no longer think of alcohol as a treat, it’s self-harm. I’m not re-reading them, as others have said, the impact isn’t so strong second time round. So why did I go back to drinking? I’m giving that a lot of thought - I can think of times when I’ve just hit the oh, f*ck it button, and looking after my health just hasn’t seemed that important.

@needastrongone- triggers! That temptation to drink some cold white wine one day this week was so strong. I could almost taste it and feel it hitting the back of my throat. If I’d been in a supermarket I might have folded, but had enough time to think about the ensuing 3am wake up with sticky teeth and still wearing some day clothes. Ugh. I think I saw a quote on this thread - nobody ever woke up and thought, I wish I had drunk alcohol last night - so true.

@Raindancer101- Weekend is not usually a trigger for me. I still work but it’s been a long time since I did a Monday to Friday pattern and I can choose which days to work. Downside to that is that I could ignore school nights..!

Have a great weekend everyone…😊

Alcohol doesn’t actually create those things on holiday—it just piggybacks on them.
The setting (time off, new place, fewer responsibilities) is already doing most of the work. Alcohol just claims the credit.
Just asked Chat GPT about temptation to drink on holiday and got the above. Thought I’d share as I think it’s so good!

I read a lot of sobriety/quit lit the first month but have eased off now (am just grateful that I don't have to reread whatever I read at night again now I am sober because I used to not have a clue) but I did read this epigraph before a chapter in a book recently (it is from a book by an archbishop of canterbury) and it resonated.

the old story of a man who was had up for being drunk. The magistrate asked, “Why do you get drunk like this?” and the man replied, “You see, your worship, it’s the shortest way out of Manchester.” Alcohol, drugs, the mystical techniques of various religions, may be the shortest way out of Manchester … But it matters very much where you get to, and what you are like when you come back.’

Checking in dry on day 108

I've just watched Death on the Nile with Peter Ustinov as Piorot (BBCiPlayer) there's a scene with him and David Niven at dinner. Piorot is talking about a bottle of wine that he had a few glasses out of at dinner the night before. I thought to myself instantly what's the point in opening a bottle of wine and not finishing it? In bed now reflecting on that moment, it's tought me I still have some way to go on this dry journey. I acknowledge though that I can't change years and years of a drinking mindset in a short time.

Hope you have all had a good weekend and haven't found it too hard. If you have had a blip bump, remember tomorrow is a brand new day

I have an event next weekend that's been in the diary all year and has been planned as a drinking event. I thought I'd have had a drink before now and I haven't ended up doing that. I don't know what to do, I swing wildly between planning to drink and planning to abstain. I never planned on being AF forever but I think I'm a little worried about drinking after a big gap. I briefly considered drinking tonight just to break the streak but that was a dumb idea so I didn't 😆 Ugh, I wish I could skip it but I can't live my life avoiding events, I guess I'll just see how I feel on the day.

@Raindancer101 how sbout going in dry and setting a time in two hours from the start and if you want to drink then, do. I find the first hour the worst after that you think I don’t really need it

Checking in with my first week in the bag 🏆 last night was much easier for me because I went out for a meal and drove so no temptation that way. When we got home DH opened a bottle of red and I was sat so close to him I could smell it. I went upstairs to do a few jobs and by the time I came back down the urge had passed.

I’ve eaten so well this week. Really healthy choices and really considering ‘do I actually want that’. Was hoping for at least 1 pound lost. Nothing. Nada 😆 I won’t be deterred though. Turned down a cooked breakfast this morning for porridge and will hope for two pounds next week!

@Raindancer101 thats a really tough one. Will there be anyone else not drinking? How large a group will it be? Just wondering if anyone will actually notice if you don’t drink. Very glad you didn’t drink to break the run because that could possibly have started a spiral, whereas one planned night out and jump straight back on doesn’t seem to bad… It depends on so many factors. How much do you care about the run of days? Would you start counting again at day 1? Would you just stop trying to be alcohol free?

All things to consider.

Day 104, it's a beautiful morning just sat enjoying a coffee and doing a few rows of knitting before I get stuck in to some gardening.
I went out into the city centre yesterday went to a few bars and had some food with friends came home at about 9pm as it was getting a bit rowdy I'm glad I went though and it was nice to be out rather than stuck at home.
@Raindancer101 that's good advice from @SwiftyFifty I know I've been out the past two weekends and after a few hours in without a alcoholic drink the thought of having one just passes.

@HeadingforaHundred well done one week is fantastic 🥳💐🏆 and an even bigger 🥳 for avoiding dh red wine last night. On the weight your body will still be re calibrating itself, you are doing the right thing by plodding on with healthy eating. Have you noticed any inches lost? Is your face/stomach flater? The inches have flown off me much quicker than weight. I've lost over a stone now and my clothes are in that shitty stage, baggy but not enough to drop a size down.

@Raindancer101 oh that's a tough one. If you do decide to drink booze could you limit yourself to 3 or 4 so you still feel in control? I hope you have a great time whatever you decide to do.

@Raindancer101 I agree with @SwiftyFifty And @Icecreamhelps about getting the first hour out of the way and see how you go then. I'm a cautionary tale on this one as last year I went over a month alcohol free and then went to a planned drinking event, it was a complete disaster. I got absolutely plastered as my tolerance had decreased, made a complete fool of myself and couldn't remember getting home. I'd like to say it was the last time I drank but it wasn't.

@HeadingforaHundred congratulations on the first week!

About next weekend, I'm not worried about ending the streak. I'm on 110 days today, I didn't think I'd get to 10, so I'm delighted and one evening doesn't cancel out my days so far this year.

I'm also not worried about feeling pressured. They will all drink and they will all notice but I have no problem saying I'm not drinking.

The thing that's bugging me is that I didn't ever plan to completely remove alcohol from my life. I wanted to reframe my relationship with alcohol but move forward with a healthy drinking relationship which for me, basically meant moving away from the solo home drinking. I always intended to drink (and enjoy) for special occasions, so why am I not looking forward to this?

Sorry, I realise this probably makes not very much sense. I'm confused by my explanation too 😂

@Raindancer101 is it the night out or drinking you aren't looking forward to?

@Raindancer101 it makes sense you committed to 100 days and you've done that. The 100 days was with a view to be able to drink just on social occasions, which at the moment is unknown territory so the apprehension is to be expected.

Morning all xx
Went on my evening out yesterday, I had three af drinks, a gorgeous af sparkly wine and two mocktails, I felt ok, people kept asking me what I was drinking and were surprised when they realized it wasn't alcohol.!! ,
It felt great when I come home that the conversations I'd had, I don't feel embarrassed today.about what I may or may not have said, , I felt fresh apart from my feet killing 😂 i wasn't trying to be the life and soul of the party and I'm glad!!
@Raindancer101 are you feeling anxious about the fact that if you go out and drink you will just go back to how you drank before,?
Could you perhaps start the night with a few Af drinks and see how you get on,
There's this pressure to drink isn't there, everything is based around drinking, some people can manage to just keep it as a social thing, but some ( like me) just let it slip into our home life, it's finding the balance of keeping it in its place?

Well done everyone on your weekends xxxx

I’m wide awake at 3.45am having drunk a bottle of wine from 4pm onwards. I’m feeling very anxious about money (we’re always skint) and the marriage problems are ongoing. Alcohol offers some (very) temporary escapism but will not fix either of those things and actually makes them worse. After three months sober, I have drunk eight nights in April and I think it has shown that once I do start drinking, I’m not capable of moderating. I need to get back on the wagon AND restart my anti-anxiety meds because this anxiety is horrible.

Hi all. @freshstart2026 I hope you are ok today. Yes the 3am wake ups with anxiety and headache etc is horrible. And it happens every time doesn’t it. You’ve had a few blips in April maybe try and get back on that wagon as you seemed so much happier then. The three months still happened now just start tagging on a day at a time and forget the days you’ve drank.
im abroad and whilst the carafe of wine my friends ordered looked absolutely irresistible I managed to resist. I’ve realised alcohol just causes constant noise for me. Had I been drinking I would have been angry when we arrived that there wasn’t a bottle in the fridge, wanting to go to the supermarket to get supplies for the villa ( ie wine), wanting to start dribking at midday as it’s a holiday, wanting to carry on after dinner etc etc. Instead I’ve had a great skeeo, I’m relaxed and happy, I’m more patient and selfless, no shame or regrets, unbroken sleep etc etc
It is only day two though but I think I’m going to be ok…..

@freshstart2026 I hope you feel ok today, waking up with that anxiety is just a horrible feeling, knowing that the wine is what is contributing to your other anxieties is a good starting point though. Some of the things you are going through might seem out of your control, but this is something that you can control, you've already proved that to yourself these past few months already,
Maybe have today as your starting point and perhaps set a new goal, something to keep you focused at.

@freshstart2026 I hope you're okay. I've been on and off since last autumn and the impact on my anxiety and sleep is a big thing really convincing me alcohol takes ways more than it gives to me. Had a couple of things recently with difficult family and with my ex that I dealt with and got over more easily without being constantly down because of the alcohol in my system. I'm not sure whether these effects were not as bad when I was younger or whether I'm just more aware of all this now!

Morning @freshstart2026 the 3am anxiety is your glutamate rebounding you probably know this though. When everything is feeling too much it is so easy to grab a bottle on the way home to just blank it all out and quieten the noise momentarily. I'm not a fan of the Simpsons (my ex used to watch it on repeat) but it reminds me of Homor Simpsons saying "To Alcohol. The cause of, and solution of all of life's problems."
One thing you know is you can stop drinking you've just done it. I'm not a financial advisor or any good at relationship advice. I stayed in a really bad relationship for way too long. However I'm now, single, happy and for the first time in my life financially stable. I'm not rolling in money but my bills are paid.
@SwiftyFifty oh that noise of constantly thinking about the next drink. I would get twitchy if there was only one bottle in the fridge. I hope you have a lovely holiday especially without that noise.

@freshstart2026 this stuff is hard. Sometimes it's a case of putting one foot in front of the other when you have got so much going on and prioritising your anxiety meds could be a good starting point.

@freshstart2026 it sounds like you are stuck in a cycle and the only way to break that cycle is to be pro active, it doesn't have to be dramatic or immediate. At some point this week sit down with a pen and paper and write a list for money all income and outgoings can anything be changed? Your marriage put a date in your diary with your husband and have a good chat, get everything out in the open then you will both know where you stand. Could marriage therapy be a idea? Book an appointment with your gp for a chat about your medication and how you are feeling. Alcohol you have already done so well this year and you can get back there if you want or maybe you aren't ready at this time and that's fine too. You have a lot going on break things down into small chunks. Keep posting here, we are all here for you.

@SwiftyFifty well done on avoiding temptation. You sound determined, aware and in control. Have a great holiday.

Checking in still here and still dry. My goal for this week is to do some much needed exercise. I had a look on the NHS website where it says minimum amount of exercise per week is 150 minutes so that's my plan for this week.

Sending us all strength for a new week