The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring into Summer 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Lighter evenings, blossom and birdsong are with us once again. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

That totally doesn’t count @TwoNicePuppies I hope you’re not too upset as it was totally out of your control.
I got panicked at Xmas at a party that I’d been given the real fizz instead of the AF one, tested too good but she showed me the bottle. I hope you had a lovely holiday otherwise, and I’m not sure I’d even put that on try dry x

Thanks everyone. I did feel rather stressed by it all and would rather not repeat. It's once a year and I will stick to my guns and decline next time.
Agree @TwoNicePuppies- you weren't to know.

If I knew a little more about investing I'd buy shares in AF businesses.

Good plan @FiloPasty- you'd like to think they would but no harm in checking.

Hello shipmates,

Quick in and out (sincere apologies) - I have been at the hospital all morning,

Please don't beat yourself up for what happened @TwoNicePuppies - it was a situation not of your making. You are doing fantastically well. 💖💖

I'm sorry you were put in that position @Lavrander - most unfair. I'm livid on your behalf. Sid is VERY happy to oblige you with a bluebell picture. He wishes to clarify that he is in no way bored of bluebells. He loves them. They grow to precisely the right height to tickle hi- I've said enough. The picture below comes with much love and many wags from Sid.

Apologies for hasty post. With apologies for TMI, I have cut my eyeball (oh yes). I have now got drops which have to go in every hour for the next 48 hours, day AND night. This will be interesting. I reckon I'll start confessing to being a witch and suckling from Satan's teat by about 3.35am on Sunday.

Strength and courage in the meantime lads. All shall be well. x

@REP22 i have had an eye injury twice and you have my utmost sympathy, literally the most pain I have ever experienced, childbirth in comparison was like being tickled with a feather. I do hope it heals quickly x

@Lavrander Urgh, sounds not dissimilar to my event a few weeks ago. I hope you enjoyed a feeling of relief when it was over, and satisfaction the following morning when you were not hungover and tired.

I went with the 'I don't drink alcohol' route when the wine was being offered and it was surprisingly OK. I just said it factually, as if I was saying 'I don't take milk in my tea' and no one asked any questions.

Tap water is even worse than 'orange juice or orange juice' that was the AF 'choice' at my event. If you have the opportunity to feed back, I would mention that. It is annoying as lots of people don't drink these days, for health, for cultural reasons as well as avoiding it due to having an alcohol problem and it strikes me as not very inclusive not to offer at least a choice of two AF drinks as there's always at least two alcoholic options.

Well done for getting through it!

Oh @REP22, you poor thing! The thought of an injured eyeball is making me squirm. I hope it mends itself very soon.

Thank you @FiloPasty and @ShyMaryEllen - much appreciated. 💖 Sorry you've been through it too Filo, the pain really is quite something else. Hope all is well with your peepers now.

Sid and I have come up with a plan for overnight tonight. I am going to sort out the airing cupboard and clothing drawers. Items re-stored by category in the storage tubs bought for the purpose months ago but which have lain untouched (like the Vax) since, and charity bags filled. Sid will be sleeping "supportively" nearby.

Actually feeling quite positive about it - and completely, entirely - not giving a flying-f~~~ about the Friday night cravings that would already be plaguing me by now. Because I must have this distraction to keep me awake and drop-compliant. Certainly a worthwhile lesson about the power of distraction to beat cravings. I am grateful for that.

Ask me again in 36 hours' time though - I will probably be trying to stab someone with a strategically-sharpened bluebell. x

Here's another SidBells picture, just for the soothing of your eyes @FiloPasty 💖 x

Sorry to hear about your eye @REP22 hope its healing okay.
Well done @Lavrander on a very tricky event.I find that when I encounter drunk people at events it really switches off my own cravings. I also loved the sound of your charity haul.
@TwoNicePuppies I also don't think that incident counts.
I've had a crazy few weeks at work and treated myself to some nice scented candles and CBD oil this evening. Have tried the trip drinks and enjoyed them so going to try the oil too.Have felt a bit flat with being sober recently, I'm coming up for a year and perhaps I'm losing sight of the benefits as the novelty wears off.Going to try some new challenges and routines to keep myself motivated and stay dry.

Wow @Lavrander sounds like you did an amazing job under very pressured circumstances!
@REP22 ouch! That sounds very painful and unpleasant I hope you’re ok?
An uneventful weekend planned for me. I’m reading London falling the new Patrick Radden Keefe and I’m gripped. Can’t put it down.

Bloody well done @Lavrander and I agree with everyone else that that doesn’t count @TwoNicePuppies

Morning

Hope your eyes not too sore @REP22

For the first time in.. I can't remember.. I stayed sober on my second Friday in a row.

Last night was the first real struggle to remember why I'm on this AF path and I was feeling a little sorry for myself.
Had an AF drink followed by a warm magnesium drink and took myself off to bed. Slept so well.
Very nervous about the party tonight but not something I can get out of.

Day 12 today

Well done on navigating through, the first month was always the hardest but the sense of accomplishment at the end is worth the struggle in spades.

I went along to watch boxing of all things last night. I would not say watching two men hitting each other is normally my idea of a good night out, but it was fun, and a free ticket! Treated myself to a couple of Madri 0% inside, think that’s the first time I’ve had it, I wasn’t massively impressed, but it’s refreshing to see so many AF options pretty much everywhere these days.

@TwoNicePuppies that doesn’t count, in my opinion. It’s shocking that they did not consider your pregnant friend, unbelievable. I wouldn’t even log that in my tracker. As soon as you saw the mistake (not your mistake I must add!) you stopped right away.

Have a fantastic weekend whatever you’re up to x

Morning all.
I had a great sleep due to a cunning plan.

The dodgy estate agent in the village has a very interesting house for sale. I'm going to get a visit next week and if they agree to the same reduction as mine I'll buy it. I want to be in for the summer. It's very me with lots of Colefax and Fowler.

I had milk as my Friday night tipple.
I'm off out next week so there will be challenges but I'm in safe hands.

That sounds lovely @WendyWagon - is it a cottage vibe throughout? I'd love a proper country cottage.

@MaineStorm Good luck with navigating the party. My tip is to really prepare yourself beforehand to feel confident and on top of the world. Have a 'pampering yourself' session beforehand to look your best - skin/hair treatments if you use them, teeth whitening, long hot bath or shower, your favourite evening outfit, take ages over your make up if you wear make up, really go all out to look your very best.

Arrive looking absolutely stunning, in the knowledge that you will stay that way throughout the evening because you won't be drinking and getting red faced, sweaty, sagging eyelids, lipstick bleeding because the alcohol acts as a make up remover and all the other little ways alcohol combines to wreck your appearance over the course of a boozy night.

Prepare your non-drinking approach, whatever you are most comfortable with - "No, thank you". "I'm not drinking tonight". "I don't drink alcohol." "I'd love a lemonade and lime" - practise in your head how you will reply so these responses are ready. There is nothing wrong at all with inventing a reason if you find it easier, such as being on medication.

Keep your mind on 'the morning after' when you will wake up fresh as a daisy, no hangover, no worrying that you overshared or behaved in an embarrassing way.

And above all, remember that it is one day at a time, you are choosing not to drink at this party, you are 100% in control of what you put into your body and you are being kind to it by saying 'no'.

Second (maybe third) Saturday of the year waking up without having any booze last night. I had an awful dnv bug instead, but at least I hadn't had any wine first.

Not quite the good health i was hoping to wake up with, but it is what it is...

@PhantomOfAllKnowledge it's part of a big house but isn't that much smaller than our current abode. It's a good price. I tried to see it years ago. It's got parking and a spectacular garden. The only downside might be the owners not wanting me to buy it ( I put a note through the door once and heard nothing). It was around the time we rented in the village and it ended badly with the landlord being arrested! (Long story).
However it's not thatched but very chi chi as my mother would have called it. I think I could be happy there.

Morning
How is your eye @REP22and did you manage to do any sorting? I always feel better after a little clear out but it's hard going.

Arthur's ears are a bit smelly but he will not be tampered with. I'm sure he'd rather me than the vet sort him out. There's no reasoning with him. Our visiting dog has left now so it's back to the three of us which is rather nice. I wouldn't want a second dog.

Feel better soon @Blueskysarecoming.

@MaineStormyou can do this. It is all in the practice and preparedness. Write down your 'why' right now. Get through the first hour and after that (usually!) it's much easier. I love the idea of making yourself look stunning. Focus on the glow - all of which will be sapped with wine. At the event the other night I spoke to two women who weren't drinking - they didn't tell me but it was just so obvious. They were poised and just had a soft glow about them... probably a bit of Botox helped but I don't know, their eyes were just brighter and they stood better. You could just tell. Seeing that helped with my nerve! Still funny and lovely too.

Good morning lovely shipmates, thank you for your kind good wishes.

I'm so sorry about the DNV @Blueskysarecoming - that's horrible. I hope you are looking after yourself and that you will be on the mend very, very soon.

I hope your party will be alright @MaineStorm - you are strong, you can do this. Excellent advice from @PhantomOfAllKnowledge and @Lavrander - I can better what they have said. Walk into battle with your head held high and emerge at the end proudly unscathed and in the glow of victory. We'll all be cheering you on. ❤️

Cottage sounds promising @WendyWagon - hopefully ex-LL isn't still in the vicinity. Times and places change - the owners may be very happy to see you. I hope this might be the right one for you and you can reign supreme at an all-new (vintage) Wendy Towers. 🤞

Last night was about as delightful as you might imagine. I made it through though. The airing cupboard has been completely emptied, six big bags of bits ready to go to charity, one big bag in bin, and sorting into big plastic tubs has commenced. Bl~~dy alarm tone every hour though - will have to change that, as it's already driving me nuts and I fear future triggerage. 'Twas a long, bleak night. But not wasted. And I can happily and proudly state that at NO point did I think "I want a drink." 23.5 hours in, 24.5 to go. It was like queueing to see the late Queen lying in state back in 2022. With every hourly chime it was a grim flashback to "made it to the Cutty Sark", "made it to Tower Bridge", "made it to the Globe", "I can see Westminster Bridge"... and THAT was 'only' 20 hours! 😬

It was clear at about 4am that the tiny bottle of drops I'd been prescribed was NEVER going to be sufficient for the course - I'd likely run out by this afternoon. So have just done the 111 emergency call - I can't fault them. The 111 Dr. just called me back after only 2 hours and has prescribed me two more bottles. Phew! 😮‍💨 Lots to be thankful for.

Strength and courage, brave shipmates. It will be alright. x

This is what Sid looks like at 3.55am...

Oh b~ll~cks!! I've just realised that I've made a typo in my post above - aargh! And too late to edit!!

When I said "I hope your party will be alright @MaineStorm - you are strong, you can do this. Excellent advice from @PhantomOfAllKnowledge and @Lavrander - I can better what they have said..."

I meant, of course, "I CANNOT better what they have said". ❤️ Bl~~dy sleep deprivation. Sorry lads. x

Sid looks like a bat in that photo🦇

Now you mention it, Sid and Count Dracula have never been seen together in the same room at the same time... uh-oh... I might pop a bulb of garlic by his hammock tonight, just to be on the safe side... 🧛🦇🧄

😂

@REP22 Your mistype is just the kind of thing I do when I am sleep deprived!

@WendyWagon Crossing fingers that you can get a viewing and it goes well!

Eyes down (actually eyes UP in my case) for night-without-sleep number 2. At least I have enough drops to see me through (God bless you NHS 111). But someone else isn't happy. Never mind Sidney. Only another 14 hours to go...

Strength and courage Shipmates - we're safely navigating through the weekend waters. I believe in you. Keep going. It is going to be alright. xx