The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring into Summer 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Lighter evenings, blossom and birdsong are with us once again. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Morning shipmates
The other benefits of doing smaller goals on TryDry is you collect more badges. I'm on 285 days but have the 5 goals achieved badge. I love a badge.

Reminds me of when I went to Sweden about ten years ago @drspouse. I was with a group of friends and we were astonished and disappointed that we couldn't buy properly loaded booze in the supermarkets. Sounds like you're having a lovely holiday.

Rather interested in this hunky vet...

Hope everyone has a good Friday. Plan something to bookend the day if you need to. Enjoy your day off @REP22

Oh God the relief of waking up this morning hydrated and with some of the self loathing slipped away in the night. Ended up a blubbering wreck last night and I know it was my own disappointment (although I blamed a million other things).

Thabks for being here shipmates. We’ve got this!

Dreadful nights sleep and very tired this morning, but I know this will get better.
IWNDT

Well done @Pinotgrigioblues i hope your sleep was restful, it does take a while and a few weird dreams to feel better. I started having a cup of herbal tea around 9pm to try and start a new habit.

morning all, wanted to ask, do you recall if the first 7 weeks- 3 months were a bit flat and moody? I have been reading that it can take months for your systems to recalibrate and for dopamine and hormones to normalize post stopping. Just wanted to hear about any experiences of this.

im normally quite a positive and motivated person but definitely feeling a bit blah since stopping. I know other life pressures are adding to that atm but thinking the timing also makes sense. I’m 52 days alcohol free today

@Sunshinebound99 yes I do think so, I gave up September time and I do think that period between then and Xmas my mood was quite up and down and flat. I think there’s a lot to process. That’s why this thread has been so helpful to me. I’ve just found a new normal.

I feel happier, clearer, lighter, more organized and energetic. My mood is more stable and I’m not looking forward to 5pm to try and drink out any stresses, now I need to tackle them, which is new.

I do wonder if I’ve lost a bit of sparkle but my friends assure me not. We’re just navigating a different world and it takes some time. The bonuses definitely outweigh any momentary release.

@WhatMaggieDid sleep does improve so much you’ve got this x

@eekwhatnow sorry you had a rough night, crying can be cathartic lots of the built up stress in your body, better put than in like the booze.

@Lavrander me too, more hunky vet stories needed!

Happy Sober Weekend Shipmates. Plan it out if you need to and get in the herbal Tea AF beer if needed x

Good morning all.

To answer the question did the first few months feel flat I was the opposite, evangelical. I was like an ex smoker.

I find I don't really do night time socialising anymore but that could be age and illness. I'm always available for a lunch. I can manage that and go on the seedlip and tonic.

My last holiday was a few years ago and it was not too hard. I just ate loads of gelato. I also eat exactly what I want whereas all my life I played who am I trying to please. Mother, slim friends?

Lovely to see the dogs.
We kept Mr Tiggle intacto but he's not game either. Very fond of a terrier called Sonny Jim!
When I asked our gorgeous Scandinavian vet if he should be done he winked at me. Said let the boy be.

Hi, I have been following this thread for a very short while. I am on week 2 of being AF and have appreciated reading your messages of support for each other. They are comforting and motivating for me even as a bystander. Tonight is my challenge (it was stressful last weekend - I was very grumpy and resentful, ridiculous really) but I have set a target to get out for a run early tomorrow - I have so many excuses but I am trying to keep facing the reality that it is the alcohol which drags me down/back both emotionally and physically (nothing like a sleepless night filled with self-loathing to demotivate me). I have had a good week - sleeping better, feeling positive and achieving more from my day. I am approaching this evening holding these thoughts in front of me.
Happy weekend all x

It can take ages for your body to recalibrate. Remember how long it took for it to get to where you are now - it's not going to repair overnight. A while ago I posted a timeline for withdrawal. I can't find it now, but someone might have saved it. I think you keep getting better for a year or more. Some things happen quickly, but others are a much more gradual process.

I found that sleep was the big one. It took such a long time I thought it was never going to get back to normal. The only way I could deal with it was to make going to bed as pleasant as possible - a hot bath, a scented room and nice bedding, plus an 'easy to watch' box set on TV that I could watch if sleep wouldn't come. Eventually things normalised, but after decades of going to bed and passing out I really had to relearn how to go to sleep sober.

Hello and welcome @whynot90. Life really is better without the booze. We all moan from time to time as it's also true that having a social drink now and then is fun, and we feel we are missing out, but the reality is that some people (including all of us on this thread) can't do that. We either stay sober or we get drunk - there is no happy medium. It's rubbish, and it's not fair, but it's just one thing we have to give up. If we do that we can have so many other things, but if we don't give it up we lose everything.

Posting on here can help when things get tough. Just knowing that we all know what you're going through and won't judge can be helpful, as can reading your posts back to see how far you've come.

Thank you @ShyMaryEllen. It is the inability to stop which is just so shaming and I have accepted that I will never be able to drink moderately. Sadly I enjoyed it but I am searching out replacements. OH bought a couple of concert tickets for tonight so that we are out of the house - tonight sorted!
Thank you so much to all in the group - I don’t post often on things but I will be lurking.

I can't have fruit juice but DD has really enjoyed the wide variety of juices!

You might be deficient in Vitamin B (specifically Niacin). Alcohol prevents us absorbing it from food. I take a high strength supplement but have just bought myself some B12 shots to self administer weekly. Might be worth asking your GP for a prescription as I don’t think you can buy high strength enough Niacin over the counter.

@Sunshinebound99 forgot to say massive well done on 52 days!!

Just posting here to stay accountable really. I’ve checked in on this page periodically for a year or so but hadn’t really had the urge to put the pino down. Now I have the urge to, which is miraculous.

I’m slightly ashamed to admit that the urge to remain sober might be because I’ve been taking GLP1 for weightloss. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a delightful side effect but I’m scared that when I stop taking it I’ll dive headfirst back in to the wine. I really like waking up fresh after not drinking. I’m sick of being a (sort of) functioning alcoholic. I live alone and do my drinking mostly alone. If you went on a night out with me you wouldn’t know I had a problem. Home is where the danger is.

I say I’m a functioning alcoholic but the truth is I barely tick over. My recent few weeks of sobriety saw me flourish both at work and creatively. Being sober gave my self esteem a massive boost and I experienced some moments of pure joy. How do I retain that feeling? Do I need to stay on GLP1 meds for life? Maybe it’s worth the money if I feel this much better?

I had a few weeks of sobriety in February and March and during this time I journaled extensively. This was such a valuable thing to do as it gave me huge insight in to why I drink. For me, it’s probably linked to being neurodivergent. I’m diagnosed ADD but am coming to believe I might also be Autistic. One of the major revelations I had was that alcohol not only helps me ‘mask’ to the world, but it helps me ‘mask’ to myself. The sweet oblivion of switching my mind/brain off!

Now my brain is on, I think I like it this way better.

I’ve really loved reading all your posts - especially the randy dog stuff. Thank goodness I have a girl dog…although she’s currently not talking to me because I gave her a shower (=torture) last night.

I’d like to try journaling here as much as possible. You lot seem much more inclusive than AA meetings. Not to knock AA as they do great work; I just find the inferred shaming of people who repeatedly pick up but manage short periods of sobriety a little difficult to compute. Surely a few days is better than none? Or even a day!

I have a day under my belt and I feel the better for it. Love and strength to you all (and your lovely doggies)!

@drspouse That sounds lovely. I'm looking forward to hot days - or rather hoping we get some - when a big glass of fruit juice with ice tastes like nectar! It will stop me drinking too much coffee as well, as I have a tendency to choose coffee when out and about on a cold day, and then I struggle to get to sleep if I've had too much.

Now then @Pinotgrigioblues never be ashamed of trying to stop drinking or overeating. You're trying and that makes you a winner in my book. Every day is a bonus. I tried everything and gave it my best shot.
My sobriety was about having weight loss surgery and giving a kidney to my brother. I also wanted to stop punishing myself for not being who my mother wanted me to be.
I looked in the mirror and wanted to stop being ashamed of how I looked and acted. I think that was the turning point for me.

We concentrate on what we can change and accept what we cannot.

@Pinotgrigioblues i resonate an awful lot with your post. I was also a solo drinker, also often got plastered on social events but my happy time was after 9pm when the rest of the house was asleep and I’d often do 2 bottles of wine and some spirits.
I have been diagnosed fairly recently with ADHD and have a zoom medication review with my dr tomorrow, I’m going to talk to her about my view that I’m probably autistic, and I think it’s only through sobriety that I’ve really realised. On another thread someone said that alcohol makes Autism, Aut-isn’t and that really rang a bell for me.
I think my mum must be too, she’s also a problematic drinker.
Will let you know what she says. I’m not on any GLP medication but have been losing weight just from the not drinking and hitting the midnight snacks. I think you’ll be ok.

I think journaling is very helpful and one thing I wish I’d done was use the mood tools on Try Dry, I can look back over these threads but I think that would have been more useful to see the patterns as I’m sure we all have hormonal influences too.

@FiloPasty I was diagnosed as autistic a few years ago and 'aut - isn't' definitely rings a bell for me, alcohol made social events, on a surface level, so much easier for me because I could actually talk to people.

The problem was that, unable to moderate at all, I would go from a chatty, social stage to an overly verbose, unregulated, over-sharing stage - like a blocked pipe being suddenly unblocked with no filter at all - all kinds of randomness would come pouring out. Then I'd get home and drink some more if it was possible, on some sort of weird high, having all sorts of 'delusions of grandeur' about what a special and amazing person I was, imagining saying ridiculous things to people and how awestruck they'd be by me - I cringe remembering that now.

The next day would be absolutely hideous, a mixture of remembering and not remembering, feeling terrified and vulnerable alongside the uniquely horrible feeling of a bad hangover. The thoughts I'd had in the 'delusions of grandeur' stage were almost as painful as my oversharing, to look back on.

I would vow 'never again' but it was a kind of reflex action - to walk into a pub at a social event and have in my head to ask for a Coke, but what came out of my mouth was 'A glass of red wine' or 'a pint of Marsdens' or whatever - like that Viz character who couldn't resist buying '8 Ace' at the shop, whatever else his long-suffering wife had sent him there to get.

It's still a struggle to get past that urge, but I know 100% that it's a bad idea, that I can't fool myself any more.

My mood was all over the place for the first week/10 days. But I did feel it lift gradually. I’d say I started to really feel the benefits after the second month, possibly earlier, but I remember thinking why have I not done this before?

Hardest thing I have ever done, but the positives so much outweigh the negatives, but it is a daily struggle.

I feel that too @PhantomOfAllKnowledge my husband is quite a reserved type and in the early days of our relationship was quite incredulous about how I could meet someone and just share my whole life story no filter at all. I’ve got better over the years as he’s a very steady and dependable type and I often body double “oh DH wouldn’t do/say that” which sounds odd but I’ve always had to gamify anything, I’ve also got a very rigid friend who I think is also autistic (but not mixed with the ADHD like me) she I super organised to the point of having concert dates, holidays etc all planned a year or more in advance. So when something happens and needs doing I think “what would Doris do?” “She’d do it now” then I do it…..

@WendyWagon i didn’t know you gave a kidney to your brother, that’s quite incredible, what a fab sister you are x

@WendyWagon Wow, what an incredible thing to do for your brother. On a lighter note, if I were to be hit by a car tomorrow I very much doubt anyone would want my liver! Thanks for your lovely words. I’m home safe with nice food for dinner, soft drinks aplenty and looking forward to another quiet night of decent sleep.

@FiloPasty I haven’t heard of Try Dry so I’ll check it out. I find journalling by hand is much more effective than typing because I don’t tend to re read or edit - just a horrific yet glorious uninterrupted stream of consciousness! None of my family are drinkers, but they’re all very ND. I’m starting to wonder if the reason I function higher than most of them is because I’ve had alcohol as a coping mechanism. Most of my closest friends have Autism, I work alongside creatives and performers and none of this feels like a coincidence. Oh god yeah, the over sharing. I used to be like this until I realised people thought of me as an over-sharer. So I stopped doing that and turned to shame instead; which is a very convenient bedfellow for alcohol abuse.

This is all food for thought. Thoughts I’ve been dulling with wine for many years.

Gosh this thread is keeping me sane. Thank you everyone!

i Think neurodivergence and alcohol or drug addiction can be unhappy partners. Autism probably does run in my family and in my husbands. All a bit quirky in our own ways with obsessional level special interests and talents. For me the negative is social anxiety. It has got better with a low dose ssri but I thought I needed alcohol too. I haven’t yet been to a party without drinking other than when pregnant, so will see how it goes. Only to smaller gatherings. These were all fine and I had a good time. But I do find socializing sometimes a bit exhausting, particularly when sober. I much prefer my own company or that of my husband and son or immediate family. But I don’t want to hide away and I don’t want to drink again. So I will need to somehow make peace with it and hope that I will be fine at the next event.

Morning all
Welcome @whynot90. Hope you got on alright last night.

Thought I'd share a bit about me in case it helps anyone either lurking or just posting (and also because I'd like written evidence of why I'm here!). I first posted on here at the end of June last year. I was four days in. My reasons for wanting to quit alcohol was I just felt sad most of the time. I was not a daily drinker. I was an every other day - drink to excess, have a hangover, don't drink that day, feel better, drink to excess and on it goes. I'd drink with my husband - putting the world to rights, and we both would often have to pop down to the shops (I'd do my best to focus on walking in a straight line but following the lines on the pavement in order to get there) to buy an extra bottle of wine because one an a half bottles each was never enough.

Most 'wine' days I'd wake up saying to myself that I wouldn't drink that day, and then 6pm would roll around and it would be back to the shop again. The effect was I would wake up in the night anxious (even on non drink days), constantly feel groggy, and I'd started to lose touch with people because I had a rule of never messaging when I was drinking because urgh the texts or voice notes I'd send would be cringey, or not cringey but I'd still panic about them the next day, or wake up and check I'd not said something stupid. I used to drink to excess at work events too but had managed to work on that rule and would have to focus all evening on only having one glass so that I didn't get chucked out the bar, fall off my chair, not make it into work the next day - dial a party Lav they would call me back in the day!

I just had a constant worry on my chest. I was/ am into fitness and felt a disconnect between who I presented to work/ friends, and actually what I was doing at home which was the last part of the puzzle I couldn't crack - because that was my husband and my time and we would connect. I / we had tried so many times before but would laugh and joke as we bought the wine out and started again. So I was worried about it would do and that I would be disappointing him.

I finally just thought I needed to do it for myself. So I just said I am taking a break. I joined here after four days and reading through the whole of the previous thread. Someone recommended The Alcohol Experiment and I did that for the full month and that was the time that clicked.

I drank AF beers with my husband instead. It was different but fine and he had a break too. I realised that we weren't connecting at all we were just getting pissed and going to bed. We did evening walks and chatted. He still drank, I still get annoyed by it, but I've finally realised the only person that can change is myself and I was introduced to the serenity prayer by someone on this thread - Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change- and I love it!

I never saw, and still don't see, myself as an alcoholic, but I know alcohol was just making my life so much harder than it needed to be. It's so much better just to say to work, friends that I'm not drinking than try to behave myself. I love not being groggy and sleeping through the night (mostly). I love not being constantly thirsty. I also lost a stone without trying in the first two months. Win.

I posted every day back at the beginning, and still try to post as often as I can as writing about my thoughts and general meandering and reading all your thoughts and general meanderings helps to remind myself in the times I think oh "hey it wasn't that bad, I'm not an alcoholic" that drinking does not bring joy, and why would I chase something that isn't joyful.

Anyway, maybe that was helpful. I have not gone back and checked grammar and I'm sorry it was long! I'm not at a year yet but I am a non drinker and I intend to stay that way!