Gain support, strength and motivation from each other as we continue to aim for an alcohol free life, one day at a time.

[Goandygo]

I've started a new thread @feelinglesstired @paintcolourchart @88expertprocastinator @Legssses
We're all at different stages, but we all want the same thing.
I'll post more tomorrow as it's late and I'm feeling tired, but I'm excited for tomorrow and for getting those af days achieved.

Morning, folks.
Day 5 here and feeling good about it.
I'm 10% on my way 🤣
Hope you're all doing OK 💪

Morning!

Also feeling reasonably okay today.

Have 'drinks' tonight with someone Dh does a hobby with. The pub has a new dessert menu and includes banana sundaes. I'm having one of those instead....

Instead of being worried about how I will cope i am going to go in with a 'this is an exciting challenge' mindset. If i have to fake it I will.

I'll report back.

Morning all,

Not been a great week. Actually been the worst week ever in terms of wine. I have drank every night since getting the news that I didn't pass a week ago, aside from one night which was only because I was driving my friend to the hospital the next day. I have never done that before, two days in a row tops but never more than that. Not judging anyone who does have that pattern, I know there's a lot of daily drinkers on these boards, but that wasn't my pattern. However I can now see how easily it can happen. I can't even say I didn't enjoy it. It did make me feel better, it did relax me, it did help me sleep when otherwise I would have struggled replaying everything in my head and that's the scary thing.

HOWEVER. Today I have woken with a spring in my step and ready to get over it (sort of) and get on with it. It is way more than 'just a failed exam' but I have so much to be grateful for. I've realised that over the last week especially taking my friend to hosp and chatting to other friends who have health issues or are working through other issues. I have my health, for now at least, and I won't if I keep self sabotaging. So enough is enough now. I don't quite know what my plan is going forward, but I won't drink tonight so that's a start. DH is away all of next week so I definitely won't drink then either.

How is everyone else getting on?

@paintcolourchart I was thinking along those lines this week too - so many people with such hard lives and mine's a walk in the park, yet I still self sabotage.
I drank last night. I was craving it so bad. Work was flat, I walked home in torrential rain and I needed a 'lift'. I know it was a very strong craving because I had to get home, pick up my purse, and come back out to go to the shop.
Got weighed today. Last year I lost a stone when af. 7lbs has crept back on. Not surprising really, so like you @paintcolourchart a new, fresh start today.
I'm still counting my days out of 50. Big picture and all that.
Hope everyone is OK @88expertprocastinator @FeelingLessTired @Needtokickit @Legssses

@FeelingLessTired you hit the nail on the head with ,this is an exciting challenge’ mindset. I truly believe that this is a challenge we are setting ourselves with really exciting rewards! The freedom from even thinking about alcohol - cause I found once I started to understand just what alcohol does to us, it’s hard to keep on mindlessly enjoying it.
@paintcolourchart i think you have to focus on not dwelling on things now. You seem to be turning a corner in your thinking around it all and that’s the main thing. It’s so easy to just spiral into negative behaviors at tough times. I was a daily drinker and it is so hard to stop that particular habit, especially with alcohol where it’s positively encouraged. Even now, my mum looks all disapproving when I say I probably won’t drink again - like it’s a bad thing? Not once in all of this time has she ever tried to encourage or support me.
@Goandygo health is a huge thing for me - I do everything I can to stay healthy, especially going into ‘old age’.

dh still doing 4 nights af and although it’s much better it is annoying still having every single weekend watching him get drunker as the night goes on - I keep pondering if he’s gonna do this til the day he dies. It makes me try to build my own life up even more so that I’m not involved - it is very clear though that even at this reduced level, drinking means more to him than actually getting out there and enjoying life.
anyway another week done - still have a cbd drink most nights and sleeping great.

Hi all.
just checking in to hear about your week. I hope you’re all doing and feeling great and hopefully still locking up some sober days. Snow has finally gone here although it’s still freezing cold. I’m plodding along- feeling a bit flat but life is sometimes a bit flat ….
im thinking of you all and hoping you’re all out just enjoying life rather than posting!

@88expertprocastinator hi, thanks for enquiring 🤣
All good here - Mother's Day wasn't dry, but never mind. Overall, I'm clocking mostly af days.
It's becoming the norm actually.
How's your dh doing?
When I'm feeling flat aka bored when af, I remind myself how boring being hungover is.

I went back on it as soon as I went off it. I do have excuses but they are not valid reasons just excuses. Im away on a hen this weekend so next week I start again and I will mean it 100% this time. It is such a hard habit to break.

@Needtokickit I know - it's so difficult. One day at a time, when you're ready 💪

It is hard to- but any sort of moderation we can do has to be good - small steps and a plan sound like a good approach!

Hi all.

I have been damp, but yes moderating. Today will be AF though. I hate the mental merry-go-round of will I or won't I. Today I've decided no.

Hope everyone is well.

Just something I am ruminating over....

I was at Aldi and the checkout operator randomly asked me 'If you were 18 again, what would you have changed?'. (I do know this checkout operator- been going there 13 years and her younger son just turned 18 so i assume that is where it came from)

I thought and then said 'um, to be honest, nothing really'.

What a privileged life i have led that this is actually true. But then I was thinking- I would have changed - never started drinking. I was so anti-alcohol as my mother changes personality when she drinks and I did not have a drink until i was in my late 20s. I do wish i had never started. Then the other thing- I wish i had made myself stay slim, because losing weight seems to be more difficult than putting weight on. I have binge eating disorder.

So I have been thinking about this today and both these things are in my control- should I choose to pay proper attention and really genuinely put in the hard yards. I put in the hard yars in every other aspect of my life- my family, my friends, my children, my job. I don't put the hard yards in for ME- for what is good for me.

Things to think about. But a possibly throwaway line from my favourite checkout operator. Could- possibly- be profound.

@FeelingLessTired I think it's quite common for women, especially mothers, to put everyone else first. Then when we're exhausted physically and mentally, out comes the wine.
You're right though - time to start putting yourself first. I've been doing that for a few years now ( but my ds is 38, so not dependent on me).
I do whatever I want - unfortunately it applies to drinking too ( I'm a rebel. If I want something, I'll have it).
I would tell my 18 year old self to not drink. Unfortunately where I live, it's at the centre of all celebrations and my mum taking me in a pub at 15 ( because she 'knew where I was'), was where the association began.

@FeelingLessTired oh gosh that's a question. I've been spending the last few weeks rethinking my last few years so that is definitely pause for thought.

having a slight internal crisis now and not doing too welll on the wine front but need to pull myself together!

Morning all, how are we doing?

In true me fashion, I responded to my revelation that I would never have started drinking - by drinking. Self sabotage, or maybe I needed to process things a bit more.

I'm watching loads of youtube videos, I have ordered and received the SMART recovery handbook and today is my freshly new Day 1.

Alcohol- addiction- is such a strange thing. All you have to do is - not do it. Incredible how hard it is.

Hugs to you all. hand holds and hugs.

@FeelingLessTired I've been ok overall but yesterday had 2 lots of great news, so decided to drink 😣
What was bad was this. I thought I can't drink Saturday as I have my granddaughters, I can't drink Sunday as Monday I start my new dream job, so it'll have to be Friday.
I wasn't even enjoying it as I was so tired.
Anyway I know I won't drink until at least next weekend as my new job will also keep me af - at least through the week.
In fact I might even try for an af weekend next weekend as I used to really enjoy them.

Well I had a trying week which will not have been helped by the drinking but felt I needed it. I will have a few today and tomorrow but Monday I can't for sure and hoping to try next week to reset myself again.

@FeelingLessTired well done on restarting! You’ll already be on day 2 now - that’s all it takes - one day at a time.
@Goandygo at least you are having consistent af days - can you arrange a few things for next weekend so that the temptation may be less? I now often arrange a class or trip out early evening just to skip through the dangerous hours.
@Needtokickit you sound determined - are you prepped for the change? I relied on a cbd drink every evening mixed with flavored sparkling water - it still gave me the same relaxed feeling and felt different to just drinking tea. I also didn’t plan further than the day I was on - very much ‘I will not drink for today only’ then rinse and repeat every morning. I still use this to set my intention if I am going somewhere I may be tempted.

i wish you all a successful few days. I hit 14 months and am grateful every single day to be free of drinking and thinking about drinking.

Morning all.

day 2.

I shall try CBD drinks. I need 'something' right now.

14 months! I look forward to saying 'I'm 14 months today!'. @88expertprocastinator !

How exciting about your dream job @Goandygo !!!! Can you tell us more (only if you feel comfortable of course).

Hope you have a much better week @Needtokickit

I took the DCs to the cinema last night. We saw Project Hail Mary which they adored and I was a bit baffled by because I had come in without any prior information about it. Glorious visuals and Ryan Gosling was outstanding though.

I also got a long over due hair cut. There was a walkin appointment available so I went in on a whim. Got my hair cut like Jessie Buckley's at the Oscars. It's a bit of a change as I am usually below shoulders. I like it.

So I successfully spent alot of money and I am meant to be a bit frugal right now. But ... well- at least there was something to show for it and the DCs loved the cinema.

Hope everyone has a good day.

@88expertprocastinator thank you for your post. I think I'll try cbd. I've been doing great through the week and just having tea, coffee or a hot chocolate in bed at night, but I'd like a change. We're going shopping today so I'll look for it ( is it like Trip ?).
Well done on 14 months, it's inspirational 💪
I'll definitely think of something for next weekend. I'm doing slimming world at the moment and last week lost 4.5lbs, so that's actually a big motivator. I'm trying to lose 14lb in 6 weeks, so I've had a great start.
@FeelingLessTired well done on Day 2 ❤️
The hair sounds lovely, glad you like it.
( I didn't realise Jessie was in I'd Do Anything many moons ago. I'd loved that programme).
Oh, my dream job is still cleaning but I have more hours, better pay, lovely areas to clean and that I can call my own, and the people are so lovely. And I'll be working on my own, too, which I prefer.
It'll also keep me out of trouble 🤣

Oh that sounds perfect @Goandygo . Good people to work with make all the difference and I also prefer working alone in my own space and with my own responsibilities.

I am currently twiddling my thumbs waiting for a good time to head for Pets at home. Our elderly cat is off her food and I think she has some gasto upsets. So getting some special food for her. She had blood tests earlier this week and they all came out perfectly so not sure what it is.

Hope everyone has a great day.

Thank all for the well wishes. I have told nobody in real life so it is nice to have support here. Must look into cbd drinks today.

@FeelingLessTired my dad went to see that too - I must confess I have no idea what it’s about at all! I like your approach to frugality - it is similar to mine…
I need a new hairstyle but my hairdresser is fairly conservative - I feel like I’ve had the same one since I was 25.

the cbd drinks are trip or good rays - I didn’t like the trip flavours but others do. I also tried the magnesium based drinks (grassroots) which were equally good and definitely relaxing- great for sleep too.

@Goandygo congrats on the weight loss and good luck with your new job.

@Needtokickit you’ll get there! I didn’t tell anyone for months as I felt strangely ashamed and didn’t want to admit to having a problem. Also I thought I’d fail miserably. I do remember having a lot of very early nights at the beginning (despite the shocking sleep) just to make sure I wouldn’t cave.

Morning,

all. Hope we all had a good weekend.
I just needed to share this morning how proud of myself I am.
We drove to the seaside yesterday. Weather was gorgeous and lots going on - music, stalls, etc.
Before coming home I suggested a drink in a pub to round it off. I had 1 glass of wine.
When we got home, I had that wine witch on my shoulder. Craving to carry on really strong, but I remembered how ill I felt last Monday. So I said No.
Also, slimming world is actually going really well with regards to alcohol intake. It's funny how I never thought that before.
Anyway, I hope you all are OK, I just needed to get this down as I feel great this morning. Not worried about this week ( I'll be busy, but happy). Weekend I'd like an af one, but one day at a time.
( @88expertprocastinator I got some of those drinks. They're called Skip in homebargains, so I'll try this week).

@Goandygo well done. That wine witch can be a bitch to ignore.