Gain support, strength and motivation from each other as we continue to aim for an alcohol free life, one day at a time.

[Goandygo]

I've started a new thread @feelinglesstired @paintcolourchart @88expertprocastinator @Legssses
We're all at different stages, but we all want the same thing.
I'll post more tomorrow as it's late and I'm feeling tired, but I'm excited for tomorrow and for getting those af days achieved.

@FeelingLessTired
@Legssses

Morning!

Day 2.

Thank you for the bright and shiny new thread!

@FeelingLessTired day 2 for me, too - I AM counting yesterday 🤣 - so, we're in the same boat ❤️

I've got 50 days til I go away, and being af on holiday is the only area I haven't been successful, so one day at a time at home then hopefully my mindset is gradually changed.

Hello again.

Well, we are here together and i am determined not to drop off this thread.

Where are you off to? How exiting!

On Saturday i travelled to the nearest Big Town and went to the theatre. I absolutely loved it and it occurred to me that i could do it every single month if I were Not Drinking and not even touch the sides of the cost.

Today I donated 2 days worth of Not Drinking to this charity below.

https://warpaws.org/

I am trying to cement into my brain and soul the concept that money spent on booze is money wasted. Literally thrown down the drain.

I have been drinkinga lot lately as we have a very stressful legal situation going on where a former friend has scammed us out of money and is exacerbating it by lying in the most outrageous way to the courts. My default for stress is drinking. My default for anything is drinking. So that is where I am right now. I wish i could compartmentalise things very neatly..... work in progress.

So I need to focus on what is life affirming. Theatre. Charity donations for animals. That works for me.

@FeelingLessTired I remember you saying about the friend - how stressful for you. I think a lot of us turn to drinking when stressed - that's the key, really, to find another outlet. I drank on Saturday because I wanted something to do. I've got plenty to do, I'm annoyed at myself for not stopping and thinking.
I'm going to Spain in 50 days with my sister - it'll be lovely, with the added bonus she doesn't drink !
Your trip to the theatre sounds absolutely amazing. Money well spent, and so exciting that you could do it on a regular basis.

I have just counted and i have 118 days until my holiday back home to see my parents. That is a huge trigger for me and last year was when i fell off the wagon big time and never got on again in a serious way.

So- goals.

Cross post- lovely to have a trip to Spain! I hope you enjoy,. And Gosh yes it helps to travel with a non-drinker.

Yes, we need goals - I set goals every day, otherwise I'd just be wandering in mind and body.
That charity is amazing, I'll certainly look into it. I just found that I can look at pictures of dogs, and not get upset ❤️

( That above post makes me sound like I have a heart of steel - I don't. It's just been 2 years since my dog was pts, and I'm finally getting there 💔).
I'll be quiet now

@Goandygo thanks for starting the new thread! And don’t beat yourself up for drinking because you were bored - we’ve all done that!
@FeelingLessTired glad to see you back with a clear goal - it always makes thing easier to have a plan.
another Monday but the sun is out, the snow has started to melt and spring feels like it might actually show up at some point - great time for making changes x

Im new here. Have wanted to quit for so long. Got up this morning thinking maybe i will only buy a quarter bottle tonight as once i open a bottle i finish it. On way home from work i stopped and picked up a regular sized bottle but by time i got home i just did not want it. Something clicked in me so now i am in bed and have not touched the bottle so today is my accidental day one.

@Needtokickit hi and welcome.
Well done on your day 1 decision 👏
Have you tried to quit before or had any periods of sobriety?

Tried and failed for years. I used to only drink weekends then it crept up but even sat i just drank because it was habit i wasnt even enjoying it so now is the time to try do something about it.

Yeah @Needtokickit it does creep up. And there are definitely times when I'm not even enjoying it. Habit, like you say.

I slept great. One day at a time but I honestly do not remember my last alcohol free night. It has been years. I still manage to hold down a career and raise kids and everything else but I need to change this habit.

Welcome @Needtokickit !

I hear you about holding down a career and raise kids. I have done the same more or less (the career took a back seat due to a SEN child having serious issues). But I feel that booze is draining the very essence if life from me.

I slept really badly. Tossing and turning and worrying over our legal issues. Not helped when DS1 came in at 1 in the morning sobbing about life and school and not having any friends. He's calmer today but I am wrecked.

I also in a fit of enthusiasm worked out my monthly spend on alcohol and transferred it into my premium bonds account. So the money is 'gone' and I can't spend it even if I wanted to - but can still access it in three working days if I REALLY need to. So- theatre, charities, premium bonds- a scattergun approach!!

Hope everyone is fine and well. Thanks @Goandygo for the new thread. I needed a fresh start.

@FeelingLessTired I cannot even think of the money spent on wine over the years it would literally make me sick. One of mine has an awards ceremony this evening so I have booked a restaurant as far from house as I can that I cannot access public transport in order to drive and not be tempted. Getting home knowing it is there is the one thing on my bad side but this morning I have faith in myself at least.

@Needtokickit great idea to drive. Can you do anything with the alcohol in the house, so you're not tempted. Whenever I'm af and people get me presents of wine, I give it to my sister. She said she's got 3 bottles of prosecco under her bed from Christmas presents at work ( we work together). I couldn't have it in the house - I simply drink it.
Great day for me yesterday - was feeling so positive and I'm hoping for the same today.
Day 3.

I need it there as like security or something. Once I know it is there I will be happy but yeah usually if there is any in the house I will drink it. This is almost like an 'if i get to the end of the week i can have this' wine. Now I may not but as I wasnt even meant to start my alcohol free time this week even one night without it and it being in the house is a bonus.

@Needtokickit I see.
One day at a time 💪

I think I am searching for -something. I have lost decades now of my life to using alcohol for every little thing. Joy, sadness, boredom, celebration, commiseration. I have no other coping mechanisms I turn to.

So need to think about that.

I had lunch today with a (non-drinking) friend at our local pub, my usual pub. I saw I have £46 on my loyalty card- which represents a shameful £460 of purchases in the past 6 months. What a waste. Actually- it represents two of their extremely good Sunday roasts plus 2 of their very good puddings. So I will keep that in reserve for a Sunday where I am with the DCs alone (DH is working away alot and is vegetarian anyway).

We had lemonades and pies with gravy and trimmings. Very good.

Coping mechanisms is a strange one, and probably different for us all. I don't really drink when I'm unhappy - I just want to go to bed / hibernate. Although when teaching, I did drink due to stress, so I suppose that's being unhappy.
None of it is ever straightforward. That's what fascinates me.
I don't feel well today, feeling sick etc. I was going to call in sick, and the thought crossed my mind that I could go to bed and drink. How on earth would that help ?!!
I think it's so ingrained, so habitual, that we can't help but turn to it, so yes, we need something else.
( your lunch sounds lovely 😋).

Hope you feel better today @Goandygo

Yes- something else to break the habit. I need to find something that works. I've said before, drinking pulls down the shutters between me and the world which is why it is my stress mechanism. I need something else. Preferably something that doesn't cost alot.

Morning all, hope we're doing OK.
@FeelingLessTired I'm feeling much better today thanks.
Day 4 today.
We're out Friday for an Indian but even before I started my 50 days initiative, I'd had no plans to drink at this meal. I'm pleased I was thinking like that - I've made so many positive changes. I need to keep reminding myself.
I've also decided to go to slimming world for a 6 week countdown. It'll give me something to focus on whilst I'm af - I can be very much all or nothing so I'm looking forward to being lighter on holiday.
Have a great day, tribe. Remember one day at a time 💪

We are twins @Goandygo . Day 4 here too.

Glad you are feeling better.

I am feeling very low today. But I am trying to simply ignore my emotions and to just get through the things I need to do. One thing at a time.