Calling Time on Wine - 100 Day Reset | Thread 2: One Day at a Time - Together

[therockingbird]

Welcome to Thread 2 of Calling Time on Wine 100 Day Reset 🍵

If you’re here, you’re doing something genuinely brilliant. This reset isn’t about perfection, shiny lives, or pretending it’s easy. It’s about choosing ourselves one day at a time, even when life keeps lobbing chaos our way.

We’ve already proven we can sit with hard evenings, bad days, stress, boredom, celebrations, and still not reach for wine.

Thread 2 is about keeping the momentum going, supporting each other, being honest when it’s tough, celebrating the wins and remembering why we started when motivation wobbles. Clearer heads. Stronger bodies. 💪

So pull up a chair, grab your tea, water, or AF alternative, and keep going. You are not doing this alone - and you are doing so well. 💛

Sounds like you are dealing with a lot, it’s understandable you are looking for something to take the edge off.

No judgement here whatsoever but I do worry about how poorly you’ll feel after half a bottle + of Jamesons, especially after a month off…

The Alternative 12 Steps to Sobriety

For those of us who aren't surrendering to anything. No powerlessness. No higher power. No kneeling. Just raw, unfiltered, zero bullshit steps for people who quit drinking because they decided to. Not because they were told to. Not because they hit rock bottom. Because they looked at a bottle of ethanol one day and said "Fuck you. I'm done."

Welcome to the Alternative 12 Steps. No church basement required.

STEP 1: ADMIT THAT ALCOHOL IS POISON AND YOU'VE BEEN VOLUNTARILY SWALLOWING IT FOR DECADES

Not "admit you have a problem." Fuck that. You don't have a problem. You have a chemical dependency on a legal neurotoxin that society told you was normal. The problem was never you. The problem was 45 years of everyone around you doing the same thing and calling it culture. Own that. Look it in the eye. You weren't weak. You were swimming in a river everyone else was swimming in. You just finally noticed the river was toxic.

STEP 2: STOP BLAMING EVERYONE ELSE FOR YOUR DRINKING

Yeah, your dad drank. Your mates drank. Your job was stressful. Your marriage was shit. The pub was right there on the corner. Fair enough. None of that matters now. You drank because you chose to. Every single time. Own it. No victim stories. No sob narratives. You picked up the glass. You put it to your lips. You swallowed. Thousands of times. That was you. Nobody held you down and poured it down your throat. Take responsibility and move the fuck on.

STEP 3: ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE NOT POWERLESS

Here's where we part ways with the traditional programme. You are not powerless. You are one of the most powerful creatures on the planet. You have a brain. You have free will. You have the ability to make a decision and stick with it. The idea that alcohol has power over you is bollocks dressed up in spiritual language. Ethanol doesn't have a personality. It doesn't have intentions. It doesn't "call to you." It's a molecule. You are not in a battle with a molecule. You're in a battle with habit, comfort, and decades of conditioning. And you are winning.

STEP 4: STOP ROMANTICISING THE DRINKING DAYS

"Oh, those were good times in the pub with the lads." Were they though? Or do you just remember them fondly because you were pissed? Half those memories are fabricated. The other half would be embarrassing if you could remember them properly. You fell asleep in a kebab shop once. You said things to your wife that took years to fix. You missed your kid's school play because you were in the bottom of a bottle. Those aren't golden days. Those are the days you're glad are over. Stop polishing them.

STEP 5: TELL SOMEONE YOU'VE QUIT WITHOUT APOLOGISING FOR IT

Not "share your journey." Not "be vulnerable." Just tell someone. "I've stopped drinking." Full stop. No explanation. No backstory. No emotional monologue. If they ask why, you're allowed to say "Because I decided to." That's enough. You don't owe anyone your reasons. You don't need validation. You don't need them to understand. You just need to say it out loud so it becomes real. Then move on with your evening.

STEP 6: STOP EXPECTING A PRIZE

Nobody is giving you a medal. No chip. No certificate. No standing ovation. You stopped poisoning yourself. That's the bare minimum of self-preservation. You wouldn't expect a trophy for not stepping in front of a bus. This isn't extraordinary. It's the baseline. The fact that it feels extraordinary is only because society normalised the poisoning in the first place. Do it because it's the right thing for your body. Not because someone might clap.

STEP 7: DEAL WITH YOUR SHIT SOBER

Every single problem you used to drink away is still there. Waiting. Sober and fully illuminated. Your marriage. Your career. Your past. Your anxiety. Your loneliness. All of it. Bright, sharp, and impossible to ignore. So deal with it. Therapy if you need it. Honest conversations if you can manage it. Stubbornness if that's all you've got. But deal with it. No more hiding. No more fog. No more waking up the next day pretending yesterday didn't happen.

STEP 8: STOP GOING TO PLACES YOU USED TO DRINK AND THEN ACT SURPRISED WHEN IT'S HARD

If you used to drink in the pub, don't go to the pub and wonder why it's difficult. If you used to drink at dinner parties, don't sit at dinner parties and pat yourself on the back for ordering water. You're not proving anything. You're just torturing yourself unnecessarily. Avoid the places. Avoid the situations. At least at first. This isn't weakness. This is basic common sense. You don't walk past a bakery at 2am if you're trying not to eat a cake. Use your fucking head.

STEP 9: ACCEPT THAT SOME DAYS ARE SHIT AND THAT'S NORMAL

Not every day is a breakthrough. Not every morning is a revelation. Some days you wake up and the only thing keeping you sober is spite. And spite is a perfectly valid reason. You don't need to feel grateful every second. You don't need to find meaning in every sober moment. Some days are just grey, boring, and hard. That's fine. That's Tuesday. Get through it and try again on Wednesday.

STEP 10: STOP LETTING OTHER PEOPLE'S DRINKING DEFINE YOUR SOBRIETY

Someone at the barbecue is hammered. Fine. That's their business. Someone at Christmas is three bottles of wine in. Good for them. None of it affects you unless you let it. Stop watching what other people drink. Stop counting their glasses. Stop comparing their experience to yours. Their poison is their problem. Your sobriety is yours. The two have got nothing to do with each other. Mind your own fucking business and they can mind theirs.

STEP 11: BE HONEST ABOUT WHY YOU REALLY QUIT

Not because you had an epiphany. Not because a higher power spoke to you. Not because you woke up one morning enlightened. You quit because you were tired. Tired of hangovers. Tired of wasted money. Tired of being a shadow of yourself. Tired of watching your body fall apart. Tired of lying. That's enough. You don't need a dramatic origin story. "I was sick of it" is the most powerful reason in the world. Own it without embarrassment.

STEP 12: GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE

This is the big one. The one the traditional programmes never quite get to. Once you've stopped drinking, stopped blaming, stopped romanticising, stopped expecting praise, and dealt with your shit—get on with it. Build something. Learn something. Become someone you actually respect. Sobriety isn't the destination. It's just the removal of an obstacle. The road was always there. You just couldn't see it through the bottom of a glass.

THE FINAL WORD

You are not powerless. You are not broken. You are not in recovery. You are not on a journey.

You are someone who made a decision. And you stuck with it.

No higher power. No surrender. No programme. No chip. No basement.

Just you. And the choice you made. Every single day.

That's the whole fucking thing.

Veteran. 45 years drinking. Over a year sober. No one told me to stop. No one saved me. I just got fed up of being poisoned and decided to stop being a muppet about it.

Turns out that was enough.

Love this OP! I feel exactly the same.

Interestingly, today was the first day since starting that I'd say I had a slight craving - around 5pm after we'd got home from a day out, log burner on, just felt like chilling with a drink.

But it passed and now im really feeling quite calm ans looking forward to the month ahead.

February for me will be a time to really work on diet and upping the exercise - and getting on with some new health /self-care goals.

Despite that slight craving earlier I have no real urge to drink and that feels amazing!

Super powerful stiff. Love this!

Good morning everyone! It feels so good to have ticked off 1st February on the app. I’ve just done my weekly weigh-in and am very happy to have lost another pound. I’ve now lost 12lbs in total since 29th December, I can’t quite believe it! I look so much better in my clothes, it feels great. Only 2lbs more to go and then I’ll have lost a stone, so that’s my next target.

Also it’s day 33 today - by tonight we’ll be a third of the way to our goal! 💪

Feeling proud of myself today
Yesterday I wavered .. after all I'd achieved Dry January with no problem at all...and I had driven for many hours which is one of my " triggers" ( something to look forward to when home/ reward for doing something I don't particularly like/ Sunday evening so why not)
I decided I could have a drink if I wanted to but would get home first (would have to divert from my usual route to find a shop open later than 4 pm on a Sunday)
That seemed to settle me..no decision to be made now..
Once I got home I realised what I really wanted was a rest/ meal/ TV... didn't give wine another thought....it was just habit talking
Onwards and upwards

Nice work @Iamateadrinker ! 💪

Day 38 and not finding it hard at all, no cravings, no interest, just kind of baffled that I even ever liked wine and the feeling (and I was a 3-4 bottles a week gal). I dont feel like its hard at all which is so so weird isn't it? I used to see people on telly cracking open a bottle of wine and be like 'ooooh', now I just think 'meh'.

I do think having my eyes opened to all the lovely adult soft drinks out there has massively helped. Ive got quite obsessed with them and now my fridge is full of lovely drinks (which taste a lot better than wine).

Im thrilled and very surpised how quickly I have changed though - waiting for the rug to slip but hopefully it just was that easy. Fingers crossed.

Also, I read a post by someone on another thread yesterday who has given up alcohol for a year or more (I think). They said when they first quit, they started really feeling fantastic at 100 days. It’s a motivating thought!

Morning.

I read that post too yesterday @SwiftyFifty and thought it was very powerful. How are you doing?

That’s brilliant @freshstart2026 - you really are embracing your username!!!

How are you feeling today @1Flew0ver? I am sorry about your friend. If you can, try to draw a line and keep reading the posts from the bunch of randoms!

So many postive posts. I’ve had the sniffles for the last day or so, and really don’t feel like drinking, even if I felt like drinking, which I don’t - which doesn’t make sense! The start of February has fuelled my desire to keep going after a few ‘end of Dry January’ thoughts crept in over the weekend. So there’s still work to do here I think, if I had some thoughts. Interesting reading everyone’s different triggers too.

Morning all. I had my ultrasound yesterday ( he said nothing ominous I asked about Fatty Liver he said no) also had bloods Friday but still waiting for the results.
Dropped into the garage on way back and saw wine on display. Technically, I thought, I can drink now as I have had the tests and the scan but I had no interest. What kept me focussed was that I didn’t want to wake up with a hangover. Had one of the best sleeps of my life last night. Then the Morning turned to shit, literally as the dog shat beside the back door ( he’s never ever done that before) and then there was a mouse in my office! Aaargh
Will update in the blood tests at least I know if the alt/ ast still raised it’s more likely the statins than liver issues.

Great news about the scan @SwiftyFifty . I need to book my blood test this week - I still haven’t got around to it!

The start of February has fuelled my desire to keep going after a few ‘end of Dry January’ thoughts crept in over the weekend. So there’s still work to do here I think, if I had some thoughts.

@needastrongoneagain I must admit I still think about wine a LOT - especially in the evenings. That’s one reason I knew I had to continue on after Dry January - I still feel very addicted psychologically. I suppose it’s not a surprise after about 15 years (bar pregnancies and a few other dry spells) of drinking a bottle a night. I wonder if that feeling ever goes?

Thought this was pertinent
I especially liked if February works then March is easier ( or words to that effect)
STILL DRY FEBRUARY: 12 REAL WORLD TIPS TO STAY ALCOHOL FREE AFTER DRY JANUARY (NO AA, NO FLUFF, JUST WHAT WORKS)

Still Dry February is for people who finished Dry January. Stopping drinking was not the hard part. Stopping is. This is about alcohol free living, breaking daily drinking habits, improving sleep, mental clarity, fat loss, and emotional stability without meetings, labels, or pretending moderation suddenly works.

I didn’t quit drinking because someone told me to. I quit after decades of drinking, and finally caught up with myself.
I quit because I was fed up.
Fed up with waking up at 3am with anxiety.
Fed up of pretending I was “fine.”
Fed up of losing days, money, energy, and self-respect to a liquid I used to call a reward.

Dry January showed me something uncomfortable.
I could stop.
Which meant every year before that, I chose not to.

February was when the real decision happened.
No crowd. No novelty. No social media challenge badge.
Just me and the quiet voice that used to say, “You’ve done a month, you’ve earned a drink.”

That voice is not wisdom.
It is conditioning.

Still, Dry February is not a detox.
It is an identity shift.

Here are the 12 things that actually helped me stay alcohol free once the applause stopped 👇

1. January Proves You Can. February Proves You Meant It 💡

January is experimentation. February is commitment. One is curiosity. The other is character.

1. Remove Alcohol From The House 🧹

Don'tt hide it. Don't move it. Remove it. Environment beats willpower every time.

1. Install A 6pm Replacement Ritual 🔁 (even a 10-minute walk around the block or quick protein meal prep works)

The brain expects a state change. Give it one. Walk. Cold shower. Lift weights. Cook properly. Breathwork. Anything that changes physiology.

1. Eat Real Food, Not Snack Substitutes 🍳

Hunger and low blood sugar masquerade as cravings. Protein, fats, salt, and proper meals. Not biscuits and self-deception.

1. Hydrate Like It Is Medicine 💧

Most urges are dehydration, fatigue, or boredom wearing a drink costume.

1. Stop Debating Urges 🧠

You do not negotiate with a sneeze. You do not negotiate with an urge. Observe. Wait. Move your body. It passes.

1. Change Geography 🚶

Different chair. Different room. Different route home. Small environmental shifts break neurological loops.

1. Stop Romanticising Drinking 🪞

You are remembering the highlights, not the arguments, hangovers, missed mornings, and wasted Sundays.

1. Tell People Once 🗣️

“I don’t drink.” No speech. No apology. No explanation. Your liver does not need a committee vote.

10. Expect Flat Days 🌫️
    Not every sober day is euphoric. Some are dull. That is not failure. That is nervous system recalibration.

11. Track Invisible Wins 📈
    Sleep quality. Anxiety reduction. Money saved. Waist size. Patience. Productivity. The brain forgets progress unless you log it.

12. Remember Why You Started 🔒
    You did not stop drinking to impress strangers. You stopped to reclaim clarity, energy, and self-respect.

Here are the questions everyone actually asks.

STILL DRY FEBRUARY FAQ ❓

Is Still Dry February just Dry January continued?

🤔
No. Dry January is a challenge. Still Dry February is a decision. One tests you. The other changes you.

Do I need meetings or programmes?

🧭
Only if they help you. Some people need rooms. Some need therapy. Some need structure. Some hit a line and decide they are done. Multiple paths exist.

What about social pressure?

👥
Most of it is projection. People question your sobriety because it highlights their habits, not because they care about yours.

What if I slip?

⚠️ A slip is data, not destiny. Look at the trigger. Adjust the environment or routine. Continue. One drink does not erase thirty days unless you let it.

Will cravings ever stop?

⏳
They reduce in frequency and intensity. What really changes is your response. The urge loses authority.

Is this about religion or labels?

🙅
No. This is about removing a substance that was costing more than it gave.

THE TRUTH NOBODY SAYS OUT LOUD 🔍
If February sticks, March becomes easier.

Dry January gets applause.
Still Dry February builds a life.

There is no medal.
No chip.
No finish line ribbon.

Just mornings without dread.
Sleep without panic.
Conversations you remember.
A body that works better.
A brain that is yours again.

January was the experiment.
February is the decision.

Still Dry February is where you stop proving you can quit.
And start living like someone who has already done so.

Morning all, still here and still dry. Over Friday and Saturday nights I enjoyed a lovely bottle of white grape Shloer. I almost didn't buy it because it was £2.80 a bottle but previously wouldn't have batted a eyelid at paying a lot more for a bottle of wine. How crazy is that!

@SwiftyFifty so glad your liver scan went well and I hope your blood tests come back fine.

@freshstart2026 that weight loss is amazing well done. You and @needastrongoneagain have made me think about the time, I stopped smoking cigarettes a few years ago and it took a while for the thoughts to completely disappear from my mind, maybe we will be the same with alcohol. Interesting thought though.

@amibeingaknob I could have written your post word for word. At the moment I have no interest, watching people drink on TV used to be a trigger now I don't think about it, long may that continue.

@Iamateadrinker well done that's a great achievement 👏

LOVE that Ian C post @SwiftyFifty. All those posts you’ve shared from him have helped me so much. Thank you!

Thanks @Ladymuckypuddle! I think it will probably get harder from here on in because I’m at a weight now that I haven’t been for ages. I’ll chuffed with 12lb though!

Day 34 for me, so I'm a third through! Woah!

I woke up this morning nauseous with a splitting headache. Felt like a hangover, which was very unfair considering I haven't had a drop of alcohol in my system this year (I know it's only Feb but that is such a good sentence to say 😆) Anyway, it was a nice little reminder of why I don't want to drink because that was a fairly normal morning feeling I'd have at least once if not twice every week. Why was I willingly making myself feel unwell and thinking that's a normal thing to do?!

I'm moving over onto here from the Dry January thread and thank you particularly @SwiftyFifty for your recent posts - I needed to see those. I had a large glass of wine last night (it was a special occasion in a restaurant) and had the worst night's sleep for ages, so I'm back on the Dry side of things for the foreseeable as that was a reminder about what putting toxins in my system does to me. I'm too old for this shit, I will stay off it. I know from giving up other things (chocolate, cake, sugar generally) that the first two weeks is the worst, once the first month over it starts to get a lot easier and a year on you wonder what the fuss is about. Alcohol has a lot of social ties around it, but I'm happy to say to people I'm not drinking any more. Hoping this thread will help and I've downloaded the app some posters are using so hope that will be good as well.

Hi all
Wanted to share my bloods.
The two that increased rapidly last year have improved drastically
alt was 59 now 30
ast was 45 now 28
all others well within range ( ggt bilirubin)
However my ferritin is in the high side and transferrin saturation very low, so I’m not low in iron but my body is not using it properly and this is due to liver inflammation amongst other things. So chat GPT reckons this will improve as my liver continues to heal.
I have a phone call in a few weeks with the dr.
So whilst I’m really happy with the levels dropping I’m now worried about this transferrin thing. Just goes to show how much damage alcohol can do.
So at least this means that I really am not going to drink again in the next couple months and hopefully see improvements.
It explains why I have been shattered lately

Hi all. Apologies not checked in for a while I’ll catch up but need some advice.

I’m day 31 today and it’s been fine, enjoyable even. But Thursday is my work leaving do. They are big drinkers. I’m already getting comments ‘you’ll have to drink on Thursday’ no idea how to navigate this.

Order AF beer/ mocktail and then hope people too drunk to notice. I really do not want to drink.

You laugh it off and don't drink. You're leaving! What's the worst that can happen? Someone buys you an alcoholic drink you put it down, laugh and say 'didn't you know I'm not drinking'. It's your leaving party. Drive in if you have to. Remember you'll never see most/ all of them again. It's for your benefit so if your benefit is a couple of Cokes and off home, do that. It'll be a big one and you'll be proud of yourself after.

@JustAnotherDayWorkingAtHome Can you drive? That's an easy out for drinking if you're driving home but honestly, if that's not an option just tell them you're not drinking and leave it at that. Anyone who tries to push you to drink after you've said no, isn't worth spending time with.

I've told people I'm extending dry Jan. I've not gone into the reason why beyond a vague, I'm on a health kick and I felt great in January so want to continue. It's a huge lie as I've felt pretty shit for most of Jan but they don't need to know that!

Hey randoms... I feel that I need to exit the club.

Everyone was lovely to me after my "blip" on Friday. I went into Saturday with a strong resolve and then... after feeling sorry for myself about my cold I hit the fuck it button in the evening. I had a full bottle again.

Didnt drink yesterday or today but I feel like the weekend has broken the (lovely!) Spell in regard to not wanting to drink.

I have no intention or current desire to drink though the week, (as was my original intention following dry jan). But, I also have lost my desire to carry this on long term... For now.

The last month has taught me so much and this little network has been invaluable.

I am going to have a look at some of the moderation posts on here and see if any are a good fit.

I will back out of posting on here now but I will still have a virtual stalk! I wish everyone the absolute very best for the remainder of the 100 days. You are all wonderful ❤️.

@Crocodocodile if stopping is right for you then you will know when the time is right for you to stop iykwim. I had so many times when I felt I "ought" to stop knowing that it would be better if I did but "ought" often isn't enough. This time I just feel I'm done - never felt that before.

Please stay reading here - this is such a supportive thread no matter where we are on our path.

That is great news on the scan @SwiftyFifty and your bloods are going in the right direction too.

I had a bottle of alcohol-free Prosecco over the weekend and it didn’t do much for me. I loved the pop of the cork but the taste was quite sweet and my brain felt tricked. I am better with a tonic water in a fancy glass.

Things are hard here. Some stress for my ex, lots of work pressures and I’m still in insomnia club (3.30am today).

Happy to be in Dry February with you wonderful people.

Just a gentle reminder @Crocodocodile: please don’t let this feel like a final dip out. If you need to step back because the timing isn’t right, that’s completely okay. Life doesn’t pause just because we’re trying to stay sober. Dip in when you can. You’ll always be welcomed back with open arms. Please take care of yourself first. 🤍

The weekend flew by. Still zero desire to drink, even though my delightful ExH managed to throw yet another spanner in the works. Honestly, his bitterness is almost funny at this point.

Anyway… Betty (the car) is apparently fixed. This saga has been going on since 6 January. I’ve been haemorrhaging money on hire cars and now have a bill in the thousands for the work done. All of which could have been avoided if I’d been allowed to claim on the insurance - which, of course, is in his name. He flatly refused. Meanwhile, he’s got three 25-plate cars at his disposal. Make it make sense.

Bear with me .. this matters.

I was married for 15 years. He travelled overseas constantly, leaving me to raise two children largely on my own. Hard enough. On top of that came financial control - put up and shut up was the only option. Then lockdown happened. He was back in the family home and the double life unravelled spectacularly.

Resentment set in. And so did the wine.
It became the way I blocked out how awful the situation, and the man really was.

Eventually, I left. One day I took my boys and never went back. It was the only way out.

But the wine stayed. I always knew it wasn’t helping. I tried to quit so many times and failed so many times. Every blip in the road sent me straight back to the nightly bottle. I read the books. Listened to the podcasts. All saying the same thing: quit.

Then I watched a friend spiral. Full-blown alcoholism. Couldn’t stop. And it terrified me.
That could be me. I wasn’t far off.

My children need me. And something finally clicked.

For me, the 100-day reset isn’t about punishment or willpower, it’s about rewiring how I think about drinking. Dry January was always doable… but February meant straight back to wine, then slowly back into the nightly routine.

This time is different. Not because life is easier, clearly it isn’t - but because I’m choosing not to numb it anymore.

If you’re struggling, if life is messy, if you’ve stepped back or fallen off, you are not failing. You’re human. And you’re not alone 💖