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Alcohol support

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The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2026

994 replies

REP22 · 07/01/2026 11:35

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

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Adsy1988 · 10/01/2026 08:42

A holiday is probably what I am dreading the most, the airport wine, plane wine, all inclusive wine…

I’m going to Italy in a couple of weeks, just for a long weekend with my DS. He’s always asking to go (I lived and worked in Rome when I was younger). I don’t think this weekend will be a big problem, not a big holiday as such, and we won’t be seeing any friends as we’re going to be in Milan and Bergamo rather than further south.

I have booked DP and I onto a mini cruise from Newcastle to Rotterdam (and then to Amsterdam for the day) next month. Again, I’m not too concerned about this trip, I’ve done three or four weekends away since getting sober, but admittedly they have all been in the UK.

Yet to book a family summer holiday, this will undoubtedly be the biggest test. DP being supportive as always, saying we don’t need to go AI. But any coping mechanisms you lovely lot have for family summer holidays whilst sober would be most appreciated.

Another cold one here today, I really hate January, everyone is skint and the weather sucks! But I will stay sober and I will not drink today.

Hope you all have a wonderful Saturday, whatever you’re doing.

Gribouille · 10/01/2026 09:56

'Oh sleep! it is a gentle thing Beloved from pole to pole!' Which the Eng Lit club here will recognise... Dang, we'd make a ferocious book group - none of the 'wine club with a book problem' nonsense... we'd be honed by years of tutorials and essays and compulsive opinion-sharing, sharpened to a fine, incisive point by the clarity of sobriety... 😆

Seriously, I love everything and everyone after a good snooze... 😍

As for AF wine, that's like asking 'what's the best gluten free bread?' It will always come up short. But I make do with Markies' bog standard red that daren't even call itself wine, just says something like 'soft, mellow... friendly' on the pink label and it washes down a spag or a steak well enough. Frankly, I actively prefer cold, fizzy water with food.

WhatMaggieDid · 10/01/2026 10:13

Morning. Just checking in.
IWNDT 💜

WendyWagon · 10/01/2026 10:40

Morning all.

I dont tend to drink af wine other than nozeco. I wasn't a gin drinker but really like Gordon's af with tonic and lots of lemon slices.
A cinzano type AF vermouth would be good when I can find one.

The new cardi is coming today, hooray. Blinking cold here up on the downs.

The DS is moving in four weeks so I'm letting him pick furniture from our store. Ditto curtains. I'm downsizing and its very calming. There's a new thread running on calming actions and I've enjoyed the recommendations.

TheMentalMentalLoad · 10/01/2026 12:01

Morning all. We are back from our little break and it’s sunny here but bitterly cold.

I am interested in this Biden cardigan - which have you bought @WendyWagon?

In terms of going on holiday AF I hope that companies now realise that more and more brits are sober and offer alternatives. I suspect sober holiday feels just like that, instead of an all our loved assault where I return feeling more tired and more fat than before I went. I’m not going abroad until later this year and I’m excited at the prospect of feeling good for once whilst away.

FiloPasty · 10/01/2026 12:42

Sorry my post cut off weirdly last night there was a longer answer about AF wines

Cheap & cheerful - agree the M&S £4 ones aren’t bad but I’m not as fond of the red but the white and rose are fairly pleasant. Co-op do a £2.95 Shiraz and a Sauvignon Blanc that I really rate (I was a fancy plonk kinda girl so I do laugh at recommending £2.95 “wine” I can imagine the eye rolls from drinking friends and connoisseurs!

Higher ish end - the M&S £12 Pinot Noir and I can remember what the white is maybe Chenin Blanc are decent and that’s what I bought for Xmas along with the Waitrose fizz.

The Cruise or AF All inclusive hols I do this it’s worth reaching out for more info. The AF curve business wise is not going away and the more enquiries companies get the more likely they are to make positive changes. Industry wise lots of the big vineyards are starting to do the AF wines but it might be a year or two until they all hit the market but there’s lots of investment in that area.

Still a fan of the zero beer though that’s mainly my go to.

I did an Autumn holiday and admit I was wobbly the first day or two then totally settled into it and honestly had the best time, fresh, clear and enjoying it (and remembering it!) even went to the gym which never usually happens. You can do it, and you get to tick it off on the Try Dry missions :)

HorrorFan81 · 10/01/2026 13:03

I was worried about my first AF holiday but ended up having an even better time! Clear head, present for the activities, no hangover, incorporated exercise, ate what I wanted without guilt as I didnt have alcohol calories. Couldn't believe it

Lavrander · 10/01/2026 13:03

I'm going skiing soon and I contacted the chalet hosts ahead and asked for them to stock AF options. It was a really apologetic email asking if it wasn't much trouble and don't worry if not. They responded almost immediately saying no problem they have AF wine, sparkling and beer. This is France. Tides are turning.

WendyWagon · 10/01/2026 13:18

There is a lady in France making AF fizz in the champagne region (her father wouldn't speak to her!) i just can't remember the name. Same price though lads.

When the mother root girls were on Dragons Den the stats were 60% of consumers are looking to quit the booze or cut down. Snooze and they lose!

@TheMentalMentalLoad the cardi is the Boden pink fair isle. Very 1950s. Shall we say i shall wear it when doing my uni submissions.
I'll be wearing bachelorette lipstick from Hudda beauty. An evil pink with just the right amount of yellow.

TheMentalMentalLoad · 10/01/2026 13:56

@WendyWagonthat is a lovely cardigan. I love the idea of wearing it with a striking lip too.

ThatCleverFox · 10/01/2026 17:20

Hi. Day 4 😊

i’ve been sleeping well so well infact that I slept in this morning and had only 10 mins to get ready before my first client arrived. In my drinking days I would have groaned and thought how the hell am I going to get through work today? Might have even cancelled a couple of clients and gone back to bed for an afternoon nap. Not today, I got up, got ready and was presentable to welcome my first client at 9am. Another win 🥇 Day off tomorrow so thinking of things to do instead of the usual going for a pub lunch. So many choices. Thinking of a home pamper day 🛁x

Lavrander · 10/01/2026 17:41

A home pamper day sounds lovely @ThatCleverFox. You could also make yourself something lovely for lunch instead of going out. You've got the whole day!!

Gribouille · 10/01/2026 18:11

@WendyWagon ... that lipstick... is Everything... I love it! 💋🥰 Would work on a cool-toned skin, right?

Becky3825 · 10/01/2026 18:12

Drank Friday afternoon and early eve so back to day 1. Not very pleased with myself. Have stopped park run Saturdays @Lavrander
as it is so wet and cold so been using the treadmill instead at the gym. Or not using it like this morning where I slept till half ten with a banging head. Things have to get better then this.

Thank you for the virtual hug @ThistimeImdone , I really need hugs at the moment. Feel so lonely and useless. Propranolol helped me out a few days this past week, just been taking it early evening so far. Definitely wont be exercising after popping one, but they seem to be taking some edge off feelings of panic and physical symptoms of worrying

Talkinpeace · 10/01/2026 18:17

Thank you all for the AF suggestions.
Knowing I have options that still give the "ceremony" part
will make it much easier to cut right back.

Gribouille · 10/01/2026 18:22

Aww, @Becky3825 , here, have a hug... 🤗 Fridays are tough... but of course, Saturdays are tougher after them... You're doing such good things for yourself with the exercise! You deserve to feel better than this, Hon...

I also use propranolol very lightly for anxiety - but the number one thing that helps my anxiety, by miles, is not drinking... There is no drug or technique as effective as that. But it takes a week, let's say, to get the worst of the wash-back out of our system, so we feel more anxious at first - but then it gets better from there. And of course, then we're giving our medication the best chance of working.

Don't let this pull you any further down! "Eyes up. Hearts up. Minds sharp. Compassion on full blast. Okay, let's go!" (I pinched that off Lin-Manuel Miranda, but he'd be happy for me to share it, I'm sure...). Get clean, get comfy, get fed, drink water. Watch/do something distracting and put yourself to bed like a tired child. Don't wait to start again. ❤️

ShyMaryEllen · 10/01/2026 18:31

Are there hidden photos of cardis somewhere? 😀

I'm back from Hamnet. It was very good, I thought. The acting was excellent - even the children were good, which is not something I say often, as child actors in main roles can often spoil a film, as they don't have the experience to carry the audience with them. To be fair, despite the title and story, the kids didn't have huge parts, and when they were acting they were basically playing children for the most part, so, you know.

I would have preferred to see Will have a Stratford accent, or at least a burr. The actor does have a very sexy voice, but he sounds too public school RP for Shakespeare, and he was acting that accent anyway, as he's Irish, so could just as easily have acted a different one. Still, the Americans might not have liked that so much.

Otherwise, I loved it. Obviously it was very sad in parts - my hankie was in and out of my bag - but the relationship between Will and Anne (called Agnes in this) was believable, and there was chemistry between the actors. I will watch it again when it gets to Netflix or whoever picks it up for the telly. Emily Watson played a good role as Shakespeare's mother, too. The story of the man behind the playwright is always interesting I think. I'm about to start a course on that, funnily enough. I doubt that much of the story of Hamnet is factually true, other than the bare bones, but we'll never know, and I don't really understand why some people treat historical fiction as a history lecture. Anyway, if you're not sure whether to brave the elements and see it, I would say go.

Re AF wine - my advice as a fellow scrooge when it comes to forking out £££ for soft drinks is to only get the stuff that has the wine that's been de-alcoholised on the label. The supermarket ones tend to just say 'de-alcoholised wine', and are very variable, whereas the ones that are pinot grigio, or whatever you liked to drink are more likely to be to your taste. I like Not Guilty pino grigio. It's about a fiver a bottle and can be bought in supermarkets and on Amazon. Bon Voyage is decent, too IMO, and similarly cheap priced.

Becky3825 · 10/01/2026 18:44

@Gribouille Thank you 🥲. Listening to Paddington on radio 4 extra currently feeling very much like a mental patient. But I am sober and well hydrated with many a cup of tea today, also eaten which i often dont do as worry so much about putting on weight. I am a ridiculous character !. Onwards, tomorrow is another chance for a better day 🙏

WendyWagon · 10/01/2026 19:17

Gribouille · 10/01/2026 18:11

@WendyWagon ... that lipstick... is Everything... I love it! 💋🥰 Would work on a cool-toned skin, right?

Yes. It does havs a spot of yellow in it but too blue and its aging.

Lavrander · 10/01/2026 19:19

Aww @Becky3825glad you posted. I know you feel like shit right now but you know what you came back on a SATURDAY no less - only a few weeks ago that Friday would have run through to Sunday right? You are making progress every time. Sending a huge hug through the internet. You're not alone x

Am very interested in Shakespeare as a man too, particularly his alleged catholicism and connection to that world in Warwickshire. I think a Stratford upon Avon accent is a tricky one. People just don't get the dulcet tones right and then they end up sounding like they're from Wolverhampton.

WhatMaggieDid · 10/01/2026 19:47

Gribouille · 10/01/2026 18:22

Aww, @Becky3825 , here, have a hug... 🤗 Fridays are tough... but of course, Saturdays are tougher after them... You're doing such good things for yourself with the exercise! You deserve to feel better than this, Hon...

I also use propranolol very lightly for anxiety - but the number one thing that helps my anxiety, by miles, is not drinking... There is no drug or technique as effective as that. But it takes a week, let's say, to get the worst of the wash-back out of our system, so we feel more anxious at first - but then it gets better from there. And of course, then we're giving our medication the best chance of working.

Don't let this pull you any further down! "Eyes up. Hearts up. Minds sharp. Compassion on full blast. Okay, let's go!" (I pinched that off Lin-Manuel Miranda, but he'd be happy for me to share it, I'm sure...). Get clean, get comfy, get fed, drink water. Watch/do something distracting and put yourself to bed like a tired child. Don't wait to start again. ❤️

@Gribouille I've been struggling today and yesterday with some latent anxiety having restarted Citalopram just before Christmas. I thought I was over the worse as I'm coming up to 4 weeks since I re-started now, but your post really makes sense as I'm only on day 4 AF. My alcohol consumption was huge over Christmas and really won't have done me any favours - I've tried to estimate using Try-Dry and it's saying 158 units in December. I suspect that may be a little conservative.
Anyway, that's a very long winded way of saying thank-you for posting that comment!

ShyMaryEllen · 10/01/2026 20:41

To be honest I wouldn’t recognise a genuine Stratford accent if I heard it, but would have liked at least a nod to the fact that not everyone in England sounds like they come from the SE. That was a minor niggle in an otherwise excellent film though.

Sorry to hear people are struggling with the booze. We all understand how hard it can be, and whilst we have a tradition of not overdoing the ‘it won’t do any harm this once’ approach (we all know it can and does harm us when we drink, and hearing it won’t can be difficult when people are craving a glass) we don’t judge on here.

I think things often get easier when the nights get lighter and the days longer. That will happen soon, and we’ll be able to do more in the evenings, which will at least take our minds off things.

TheMentalMentalLoad · 10/01/2026 20:50

@Becky3825 and @WhatMaggieDidboth of you please go outside tomorrow, somewhere open and exposed and ideally pretty and take some huge lungs of air. Stroke some leaves, look at the birds and try to ground yourself.

That may sound stern but as a fellow anxiety sufferer I know what helps. I’ve also noticed a huge improvement on my anxiety since stopping the booze. A good SSNI and HRT also help a lot too.

I’ve tried the 0% gin, it’s a no from me I’m afraid. 0% lager is wonderful though.

eekwhatnow · 10/01/2026 22:09

@Becky3825 big hug for you. I’ve definitely been there many times and that feeling of frustration with yourself is so horrible. Bloody strong not to have carried on through the weekend. Hope you’re cosy and being kind to yourself this evening.
@ShyMaryEllenI also watched Hamnet today. Found it quite a difficult watch even though I’d read the book so knew the story. Partly because I had my DD there and was worried it would be too much for her. Thought the cast brilliant, and the score and cinematography were so clever.
Got out for a very slow run this morning and felt so amazing for it until a couple of hours ago. Slightly crashed now. Wish I could bottle the post run endorphin rush.

Losingit25 · 10/01/2026 22:16

Hi All, checking in on new thread. Am on day 10 now and feeling positive. Had some alcohol free lager when visited pub with husband and dog this afternoon, and just had a herbal tea before bed. Planning a run (slow shuffle) tomorrow morning which has helped me keep on track. Sending positive thoughts to everyone. Keep on keeping on ❤️