The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Warmer weather is coming. Keep an eye out for that first daffodil waving in the breeze, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Morning all. Does not sound good out there.

I'm annoyed on your behalf @ThatCleverFox. But don't let that derail you - our loved ones don't always get it as the change happens to them as well as you. But, it will be better for him also he just doesn't know it yet! My husband still drinks more than I'd like to be honest but that's on him. He's stopped getting annoying drunk for the most part (ie he's stopped doing what I was doing several nights a week), but now seeing the effects of alcohol on him strengthens my resolve. No way do I want to join him.
I'm very interested in the difference the dogs will feel. You'd expect them to be slightly more relaxed in your presence as they'd feel that change in your heart rate etc?

Sending lots of support to everyone for getting through Friday xx

Hope those of us down in the south west are safe and well this morning 🙏🏼

I've had a night of weird, unsettling dreams and have woken up with a headache and feeling a bit ‘meh’. Also worrying about my blood pressure which is no doubt making it go up!
Ive a work meeting on Teams this morning, then planning a bit more decluttering. After yesterday’s shaming at the GP I’ve resolved to get my 10,000 steps a day in (the dog will be delighted) and have booked a circuits class tonight. Feeling a bit apprehensive about that now to be honest!

Anyway, stay safe out there you lovely lot.
IWNDT 💜

Morning all.

Not doing much today as i knackered myself out in Waitrose yesterday.
I got the Boden cardi on the John Lewis site!

I use to put my booze money towards therapy and clothes.

However I did sign up for a very different degree yesterday. Just for me not to please my family!

What are you going to study, @WendyWagon? Doing a 'hobby' MA was one of the first things I did when I left work. It did me good, as having a focus like that eats some of the thoughts around alcohol. I know a lot of people get heavily into 'quit lit' when giving up, but I found that not thinking about booze at all was the way forward for me. When I was heavily focused on something else the time passed more quickly and enjoyably, but we're all different.

How are you and Sid, @REP22? It's pouring here, with intermittent hail, but we missed the storm, thank goodness. Daughter is on the west of the country, and it was a bit hairy around her, but we're on the other side and it wasn't so bad.

Not much to report here. I'm waiting for Sainsbury's to bring my groceries, and spent the morning waiting for a call from my GP. It was just an HRT review, so perfectly ok to happen over the phone, but I do wish they'd give a tighter appointment window. I got a text at 7.45 (😢) to say it would be between 8 and 1.00, so I stayed within grabbing distance of my phone all morning, scared to go to the loo or start doing anything time-critical. She rang at 12.45 and we talked for about 2 minutes. It would have been worse at work, as I'd also have had to factor in finding a private space - at least that's fairly easy at home.

Good luck with the degree @WendyWagon! I am coming to the end of a part time MBA. Its been alot of work but really enjoyed it

@HorrorFan81 i did my MBA in the 1990s, one of only two women! I loved it.

@ShyMaryEllen I'm goimg the literature route. I wont say exactly incase I'm recognised.

That’s exciting @WendyWagon!

I have a long held (amature) interest in photography but my camera Sat collecting abandoned for over a year. I dusted it off for some Christmas snaps recently. This morning, it was white with snow outside so I quickly ran outside and took a few photos. I hope I can keep on it and resurrect my hobby.
@WhatMaggieDid im sure I read somewhere recently that averaging 7-8000 steps achieves elevated fitness levels and could be more manageable than 10,000.

@ShyMaryEllen I feel the same about private healthcare, but honestly, you only get one liver, and the timely information could really help you in your care and treatment going forward... As I age and have had a couple of shots down Snipers' Alley, I don't think I have the time to mess around with my health... 😁

@ThatCleverFox , I feel the rage at the DH slip up - only you will know if it's a mistake or sabotage - but I've learned not to put ANY power over my quit in anyone else's hands. I've found that two people quitting together have half the willpower and double the weakness... 😜

The weather's been rotten here - none of the joy of snow, just cold and dark and raining... Yesterday DH observed that 'this is the sort of weather that would normally push us to drink...'. 😏 I, too, had had that thought, closely followed by 'Yeah, but if we drink tonight, it'll still be rotten tomorrow, plus we'll have hangovers!'

Day 6 here, getting some amazing sleep at last, it's delicious! I thought I was lazy, but I was just exhausted! But still tired by the afternoon... I'm telling myself it's because I'm healing... Have to remind myself that 3 things done are better than 30 things planned in a tizzy of optimism... 😆

@WendyWagon that's brilliant - what fun! Eng Lit is my area of work... I love that it's about Everything - the culture, art, history, society...

@WhatMaggieDid , that wasn't shaming at the GP - that was intel! To gird you in your quest for wellness!

I bet Sid doesn't need a dog groomer - he looks like that sort of wipe-clean, 'run a damp flannel over him' kinda boy? 🤔

Hi all, just checking in as it's been so busy I forgot to drop by. I'm still going, starting to feel so much better just signed up for a half marathon in march! So that will spur me on especially as I'm relatively new to running. I'm finally sleeping through the night again 🤣🤣

Congratulations all on the wonderful milestones here, all monumental in their impact ❤️

@WendyWagon amazing! I did my degree in English lit, I still love a good book chat. I think I might have been on the bunnies chat actually. I definitely remember dry bird. This time I'm staying on indefinitely.

Well done to all gritting their teeth and surviving - I've really found exercise has helped me. I'm especially proud that I had an absolutely horrendous work day on Thursday and instead of wine promised myself a gym session today and poured a cordino and frexnet 0, love this drink combo!

Hang on in all and hope you all have calm and sober weekends x

@Becky3825 sending a hug, I did a spell on the propanol too! They got me through some serious anxiety. I'm also on meds for mine but finding it softening the more dry days I get under my belt, hopefully you'll find this too xx

At the risk of sounding defeatist, which I’m not, there is no treatment for failing livers other than transplant, and if you are an old bat with a history of drinking who has other health conditions you aren’t going to be near the top of any lists. It really is a case of staying off the booze and hoping for the best. That’s why I am waiting for my next appointment and not pushing anything forward.

I’d like to be studying literature again, @WendyWagon. My BA was English Literature, and I taught it for a while before diversifying into a different field. I loved it. I do look at courses now and then, but I’m not sure I have the attention span just now 🤪.

I hope everyone is warm and dry? My grandpuppy loves the snow, and has led Daughter a merry dance by slipping his harness and making her chase him across snow and ice, the little horror. I don’t mind looking at it through glass, but have never enjoyed being out in it. Roll on summer, I say.

Evening all I did an MSc in my area of work a few years ago on top of my full time job. It was a fairly stressful experience but I did enjoy it! Especially once it was completed! I’d love to do more learning for personal enjoyment! Literature is my real passion but I work in healthcare. Although that certainly has its rewards too! As well as its stressors!

Love the idea of doing a degree for myself @WendyWagon that’s very inspirational.
I'm just hopping on to thank @FiloPastyfor the non alcoholic pinot noir suggestion. It’s definitely the least bad red I’ve tried. Very grateful indeed.

I did fancy classics (I'm a big Morse fan and did Latin at school) however it's a joint honours so there's more to it!

Some of you will know i can over share but I'm still stalked online so I do try to be a bit careful (when I remember!).

Loved reading the chats today. I am so tempted to do a degree with the open university, undiagnosed adhd at school and it all went to pot a bit during my a levels, and I quit and went travelling, very impulsive and probably not the best idea I ever had.
I have always loved reading and did English lit until i quit. Managed to be fairly successful in my chosen career as I worked my way up and no one really asked about my education just that I could do the job. Have my own business now but think we could do even better, be more successful if I had a bit more training as we’ve always sort of winged it and we do something, without outing myself that is fairly low tech.
I have a bit of imposter syndrome and berate myself a lot about not being educated, pretty much all my friends are very high achieving in high powered jobs and I wonder how I’ve ended up in the circles I’m in. I think those feeling of being inadequate provably fuelled quite a bit of my drinking.
I’m probably putting too much pressure on my teens about doing well as I think I get a bit triggered.

Sounds like there's a lot of us Eng Lit gals aboard! @FiloPasty , I think school can come at the wrong time for some of us... and undiagnosed adhd must have been a massive struggle... I hope the schools are more hep to it these days. I did an MA in my 40s, years after my Eng Lit degree, and I was a much better student the second time around! Just too immature to really make the most of it the first time...

Hope I wasn't insensitive @ShyMaryEllen , I know there's nothing worse than ignorant laypersons saying 'Have you tried owl soup? That cured my cousin, and he'd been dead two weeks!' What was that one you used to hear a lot about - was it echinacea? - I seem to remember chugging loads of that in the hope of offsetting my binges... 🙄 Milk thistle! That's the one... They usually find these things are poisonous a few years down the line...

Go you, @ThistimeImdone ! A half marathon! There's goals for you! 🏃‍♀️

Asking for myself
I need to cut down MASSIVELY
but I love a glass of wine with my dinner.
It annoys me that the AF ones are almost the same price as normal (without the huge taxes and duty)
BUT
Which are the best three reds and three whites ?

English degree here, too 😛.

@Talkinpeace

Fizz - not that you asked but the 0% Noughty Chardonnay is great, recommended by @Lavrander the Waitrose own is good too.

M&S has

@SmellyMe thanks for that - I was wondering how I’d get 10,000 on a work day! Might make it a bit more obtainable.

Checking in at the end of a weird old day. I’ve been tired and a bit preoccupied with my blood pressure which doesn’t appear to drop any lower than about 150/90. For comparison, in the past it’s always been on the low side. I have to monitor over the weekend and report back on Monday. It’s the first time really that my body has mis-stepped so it feels more than a little disconcerting.

That aside I’ve been feeling tired and under-par all day but I did manage to drag myself to a circuit class this evening which made me feel a bit better.
Loving the degree chat - my youngest is in his final year doing English Lit and I’m living vicariously through him and doing all his proof reading! I had a very significant career change when I was forty and moved from education into healthcare so I’ve somehow ended up with two degrees, but it was a million times harder the second time around! My poor brain wasn’t expecting it!

No cravings, no desires, still happily AF and off to bed 💜

Not insensitive @Gribouille, don’t worry. You’d usually be right that early diagnosis and treatment is better, but in this case it isn’t. Some symptoms can be managed, but that’s as far as it goes for now, although research is ongoing, so maybe one day there’ll be a cure.

But for now there is a chance that things won’t get worse if I don’t drink, so that’s what I’m doing - that and keeping my fingers crossed. I’d have owl soup if it would help, though😉.

i have now been sober 10 months my husband six months . I’m thinking of booking a short maybe seven day summer med cruise . I’m not sure we can do this without drinking . Has anyone else what was your experience

Morning all.
I hear you on the blood pressure @WhatMaggieDid !! There is no doubt that alcohol increases blood pressure, so it may be that it will start to come down if you stay sober. I did a week long BP diary before Christmas and it was a bit high, which is very frustrating given I don’t drink! I hadn’t been doing any exercise because I was recovering from surgery, so I’m hoping that it will come down by the next time it’s monitored- I’d rather not mess about with medication if I can avoid it.

Have you done a cruise before @mummygranny ? Your first sober holiday (if this is your first ?) is always hard, but worth it! I’m not sure whether doing a cruise will make it harder - i guess it partly depends on how much you currently rely on AF alternatives and what will be available to you on the cruise.

Morning all

@mummygrannynot a cruise but I did my first all inclusive holiday last year having only stopped for about three months. It's partly why I hosted the thread - it was another motivation to stay dry!
The first couple of days are the toughest because it's so alien. However, what I realised is all the things I enjoyed about my holiday - that first drink when you arrive, watching the sunset in a lovely location, playing cards into the evening, can all be enjoyed just as much with an AF beer of which there were plenty. Plus AF fizz and plenty of mocktails. The way to get through is just dig in and say no those first few times - once you've flexed that muscle a few times it gets easier and easier. I remember at the time asking for advice on this thread and it was (I think) @Onewildandpreciouslifewho said the first AF holiday was the best and I truly raised a skeptical brow. However.. she was absolutely right. It's the environment and the company that make a holiday, not the poison you guzzle.

AF wine recommendations - I don't have a top three but yes the Noughty Chardonnay but also seen a Pinot Noir mentioned on here and an AF white from Aldi. Probably worth scrolling back through the thread @Talkinpeaceand we had lots of recommendations in the lead up to Christmas too.

How are you doing @elusivehope?

Also @Becky3825- is it parkrun today?