Support thread for anyone trying to lead an Alcohol free life - Winter 25

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.

There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.

Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.

The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.

Living alcohol-free isn’t always easy in today’s world, but it is absolutely worth it. And you don’t have to do it alone – we’re here to help each other realise just how good AF life can be.

I've only had the orange one, I'll look for the rosso.
Thanks ❤️

I've tried Crodino and thought it was good but prefer the AF Martini. They sell both in Sainsbury's.

I always hated Aperol tastes like weed killer (or what I imagine weed killer tastes like!)
We’ve been to Italy a lot and San Bitter is another good one if you like the taste of Crodino.

@REP22 I got a new sticker :)

Evening all
Sorry to hear about your difficult time at the moment @EastCoastDamsel but wow maintaining sobriety is to be celebrated. One of my DDs doesn’t drink at all and I am 100% certain that’s because of the mess of a mother she’s experienced at times She disappears to her room when I’m drinking and pops up again when I’m not. In fact she’s currently sitting in the living room with me which is a real treat. But my other has definitely had a share of drunken antics but appears to have grown out of them. Hopefully your son was just a typical teenage blip but I get the worry. My biggest fear is my children are like me in that respect.

@WendyWagon im sorry your house move is a sad one but hope you are ok. I downsized a few years ago and although miss some aspects of my old place this one suits us. I hope whatever the move brings it’s ultimately a happy one in the end.

Ive had a mind meltingly stressful day at work and am really starting to think my job is my biggest trigger to drink currently. But have to be honest it’s always been an issue even in easier roles! Day 3 ticked off and trying not to dwell on the fact I should be nearer to 30.

@FiloPasty ive never liked aperol either!

Just checking in to say hello. I’m really enjoying reading about you all (a special shout out of course to Sid) and wanted to send you love and strength.
Christmas can be a funny old time for a myriad of reasons anyway- but definitely an extra layer of challenge for anyone starting off AF or living a sober life. So many events and evenings out, it often feels like I’m the only person in the world who doesn’t drink and people notice a lot more at this time. In fact other people’s opinion on me not drinking is one of the hardest things generally these days, even 4 years in- as people will automatically start telling me about their drinking habits or presumably imagine I am judging them on their drinking- which couldn’t be further from the truth! I prefer it really when people are doing as they please and just wish they would crack on. God knows if I could have stopped once I’d started I’d be a ‘normal’ drinker but that’s just not the way it played out.
The AF cocktail chat has inspired me- when I first gave up I was obsessed with Nosecco- despite never loving Prosecco when I drank. It was a huge crutch (and no doubt sugar replaced booze for a while) and helped massively- I still feel the urge to have a grown up drink in the evening now and then, but I definitely don’t lean on it in the way that I did. Looking back, rather embarrassingly, on one of my first sober holidays I couldn’t find any AF drinks at all and ended up walking four miles, visiting loads of supermarkets and wine shops to try and find some. Am aware this makes me sound a bit nuts frankly, but I relied on it so heavily. I can take it or leave it now, but I do like it when I go to an event- it definitely makes people notice less when I have a glass in hand. That said, it’s so often not available. I went to a big event last year and all the booze was free and people were getting really stuck in. I asked if nosecco or equiv was available and told no, not on the free drinks list but I could buy a bottle for myself for 27 quid 🫠
Anyway, glad I found this lovely thread. Keep going everyone and sending love to anyone going through a tough time ❤️

@wonkymumbun hi, it’s so nice to hear from people further down the road in this x I totally get it on the 0% drinks it is just the habit but I also don’t think I could have got through the first month which was the worst without the 0% options, I don’t need them as much these days but they were a complete lifesaver.
My local cinema did an event recently and they have both alcoholic and non alcoholic fizz so I do think it’s all slowly changing. Hopefully all of us joining the AF life help towards that change. I am calling ahead now or checking menus online so I know what my options are. Forarmed is forewarned and all that.
I bought the 0% Captain Morgan rum today as it was on offer in Sainsbury’s £12 so I thought another good one for parties and Xmas. I’ve made myself an anti bar with that and the Mother Root - fiery but I still think a bit too expensive, not sure it will be a repeat purchase despite liking it, as there are cheaper options.

My local corner shop which is not that big has loads of alcohol free options, more than any of the big supermarkets near by, it’s crazy.

Lots of lovely messages today. I'm feeling a bit shite physically and I'm sure it's down to all the stopping/starting drinking I've been doing over the past few weeks. I keep going through detox over and over again. Today I taught in the morning but took the afternoon off work (unplanned) because I was simply exhausted, to the point I felt like I couldn't keep my eyes open. I feel better tonight after half a day's rest. I'm hoping tomorrow I'll have more energy given that I'll have one more sober day under my belt.

Today was my wedding anniversary (the number has crossed 30 now!). DH and I have never made a fuss of our anniversary, but we exchanged cards and flowers. He's a rock of a partner and I'm so lucky to have him.

@Carpetburn sorry to hear you've having work stress too; I hope it gets easier tomorrow.

@EastCoastDamsel gosh, it sounds like you're weathering a perfect storm of troubles, I'm so sorry. Huge kudos to you for staying sober. Your experience with your DS is very like an experience I had with my DS (aged 14) in the summer. As other posters have said, experimenting with alcohol isn't so unusual for teens. Your DS is lucky to have you looking out for him and giving him unconditional support. Incidentally, my older DS also had a terrible time with pretty much all his school exams (mocks and GCSEs and A-Levels), but came out the other side and is now in his final year at uni and seems to be thriving. I really hate the exam system in this country. It's inhumane and puts so much pressure on young people. Yes, it's more rigorous than the system of cumulative assessment that we have in US high schools, but if it ends up putting teenagers off learning, the cost is too high IMO.

@WendyWagon I'm still cheering you on, both for the upcoming operation and for the ongoing house search. You sound so resilient despite all the challenges; I really hope your life becomes more peaceful soon.

What some of you say about the negative atmosphere in the world right now (and even on MN) feels so true. I've been on MN for almost 20 years now I think, and I've never seen so many posters being just plain unkind. And the ICE stuff in the US is just awful @REP22 . I have academic friends in the US who used to post on facebook about the books they were reading and writing and the conferences they were going to, and now they're posting stuff like, 'ICE raid happening now on X Street, let's get there now to protest' or 'Here is the list of ICE vehicles that have been active near campus this morning'. It's honestly insane.

It makes kind, non-judgemental corners of the internet like this one seem even more precious.

Morning, lovelies.
@FiloPasty your post made me smile. I absolutely love the Anti - Bar idea. I'm cleaning my kitchen today ( my favourite activity), and I'm going to sort the fridge and give it a special Anti shelf. I really enjoy af drinks - I'm surprised at that.
And I always peruse menus beforehand for af options - it helps so much.
I love that your corner shop sells af a plenty. My corner shop does not - I think I'd be hounded out of town if I enquired.
@elusivehope I hope you're feeling better soon. I was a teacher for 25 years, and as much as I loved it, It definitely drove me to drink. Not that I ever needed much encouragement - happy, sad, tired - any excuse.
I agree about support on threads like this. It's priceless.People seem so angry on other threads - even Baby Names ends up in a scrap sometimes.
I'm day 10 today, although 175 days sober ( in this country ! Damn that holiday).

@elusivehope happy anniversary. We're over 30 years, too and my dh has also been so supportive. He seeks out af options now. I think he enjoys it ❤️

Just checking in. Sending love to all of those having hard times or day. I'm sticking to the straight and narrow and feeling better for it. X

Morning all
Day 34 here,
feeling positive but tired.
my dh has a very long medical appointment today. And it’s cold and miserable, and tbh - I just can’t be fucked.

but I am about to drag my tired sorry ass out of bed and get it done.

would be much worse with a hangover!!!!!
have a good one everyone.

@elusivehope congrats for 30 years! We’re over 30 here as well.

@EastCoastDamsel it’s terrifying when that happens to our kids. We had a similar scare with our youngest a few days before her 18th. Blacked out, wouldn’t answer her phone, couldn’t talk when she did answer, didn’t know where she was etc. I think she’s learnt her lesson but it’s only two months ago so time will tell. I was sober and able to drive and collect her at midnight on a Saturday, at least.

Well done all who are keeping going, early days or years down the line. It’s not an easy time of the year. I guess the economic gloom means I don’t feel bombarded with invitations to boozy jollity. Or I’m getting too old for it and I don’t notice it 😀

I went down a liver rabbit hole listening to some podcasts. The liver is always young, most cells under three years old. It has a good capacity to renew, if that’s the right word, forgiving up to a point. Let’s keep helping it.

I am here folks.
Just training to manage my RA flare prior to the op on Saturday.

I'll need all the drugs they offer!

Happy anniversary @elusivehope! Just checking in as I’ve made some RULES for myself during this merry go round of repeating the same 30 days over and over in the hope I might hop over that bump and keep going! Day 4 today which was harder than I thought in terms of craving.
I’ve written some notes to myself about how I feel the day after alcohol so decided that I would read those and then post on here whenever I had a potential wobble. And it put enough distance between that tricky post work trigger and now it’s gone.
Im not usually a sweet tooth person but my goodness im currently eating all the chocolate in the house.
I like a nice AF drink and enjoy a gunners saint after someone recommended them previously when I was AF this time last year. That’s my go to treat tipple.

Hope everything goes well with the op @WendyWagon. We will be thinking of you.

@EastCoastDamsel If it's any consolation, my son once got really drunk in his teens, woke up in the night, went to the bathroom to be sick and then passed out on the floor. We didn't know until we tried to get in the bathroom in the morning and found the door locked and no answer from the other side. We had to break the door down to get in! Luckily, he was ok (though very hungover). He's now 40 and rarely drinks at all.

Will be thinking of you on Saturday @WendyWagon, hope all goes smoothly. And yes, take ALL the drugs 😆

Morning.
Really busy week with work so haven't posted as much as I'd like although I do seem to have got over my festive cravings for now.
Struggling a bit with husband as he's drinking like everyone else and his behaviour is irritating me. I don't really want to be that judgy person and I've been fine up until now but it isn't cute seeing someone make food crash banging all over the kitchen . I shall have to tread carefully but I need to have a word.
Probably why I'm over the festivities now though.

Morning all.
Ahoy and all that.
I managed to sleep a bit last night.

Will pack my bags later. I've done a online shop.

I see Aldi has got lots of AF options.

Good luck for tomorrow, @WendyWagon. I hope it all goes well, and you are back with very soon. x

@WendyWagon will be thinking of you tomorrow.

I had wine witch cravings so bad last night and I went and bought a pizza and tried the M&S 0% white wine totally hit the spot, drank the whole bottle went to bed and woke up feeling great. I keep rattling on to all that listen but the 0% options have been an absolute life saver for me. It’s habit hitting the bottle thinking it will solve all my woes, but actually the 0% genuinely hit the same spot, I watched tv, ate naughty food and had my wine glass and I did feel that ahhh relaxation feeling.

@Lavrander sorry you are struggling with your husbands drinking, v annoying mine actually has always moderated, he’d have a glass and I’d finish the bottle and be annoyed that he’d shared the one glass and I didn’t get it so I’d open the second. He’s hardly drank at all since I stopped drinking. Although his occasional sneaky fags seem to have increased, but who am I to judge.

Anyone else started Xmas decs yet? We are going to do this weekend.

I am a late starter with decorations, as I get bored of them if they are up too long. This year I'm having a (small) party - more of a few friends round, really - on 10th, so I might put the tree up then. I'd be happier with it just up over the Christmas period (ie 24 Dec - 1sr Jan), but I get overruled #grinch

Re the AF booze, it absolutely got me through the first time. For me it was the fake fizz, although I'd never been a prosecco drinker beforehand. I still have a full rack of the stuff, but am not habit-driven these days, so am just as likely to have kombucha or one of those CBD drinks as a bottle of 'wine'. I do find it very useful when others are drinking wine though, or to take to a party so I know I have something to drink.

Can I put out a plea to all newbies, please? Get some Vitamin B1 (Thiamine) and take a high dose for 6-8 weeks after your last drink. It helps to stop brain damage caused by alcohol. You will excrete what your body doesn't need, so don't worry about that. It will make your wee luminous yellow/orange, which is perfectly normal, so don't worry about that either. A 'B complex' tablet is a good idea too, but the B1 in those is unlikely to be strong enough, so it's a good idea to get the Thiamine separately too.

Good morning shipmates,

@Lavrander - I'm so sorry that you're having to coexist with your husband behaving in that way. It must be really really trying on your patience. I'd find it very difficult to bite my tongue. People can be very vicious if confronted about their drinking behaviour - usually because deep down they're well aware that there's a problem and they don't want to be forced to face it, plus their conscience is pricking them. Hope that better days lie ahead.

Sid and I will be thinking of you tomorrow @WendyWagon - we trust all will go well and you'll be back to your fabulous self very quickly.

Strength and courage as we head into the weekend. It will be alright. x