Support thread for anyone trying to lead an Alcohol free life - Winter 25

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.

There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.

Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.

The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.

Living alcohol-free isn’t always easy in today’s world, but it is absolutely worth it. And you don’t have to do it alone – we’re here to help each other realise just how good AF life can be.

Evening all! Parking at the Outlet Village was insanely difficult, we were at the point of giving up and driving home (after taking 1.5 hours to get there due to roadworks) but then someone vacated a space just in front of us, so we nipped in smartish. Strangely it didn't seem as busy inside as the parking suggested.

Worth going, though - I got a skirt I had been wanting for months at 40% discount. I thought I wasn't going to be lucky as the only one they had was a size smaller than I usually wear, but I thought I'd try it on anyway, and it fitted. Almost certainly wouldn't have had that luck when I was drinking as alcohol calories seemed to flock to my tummy like iron filings to a magnet!

Also treated myself to some discounted but still expensive perfume - my lovely MIL sent me some money for Christmas so I am calling that her present to me.

All in all a good day, though DH and I have decided if we ever want to go at this time of year again we will set off at the crack of dawn to get a parking space 😁

Morning all. Only two days to go until NYD. My DP, who has been incredibly supportive of me quitting the booze in 2025, said to me that I should come up with a word for 2026, rather than a New Years’ resolution. I think it is a great idea.

I have been thinking for a few days what that word would be, and what it means to me and my sobriety journey. I have decided to choose the word prioritise. I intend to prioritise the most important things in my life in 2026. Those are - my DP, my children, and my sobriety. I also intend to save as much money as possible in 2026, which I think should come with not drinking.

It is insane, looking back at when I was drinking, the first thing I checked every day was my bank balance, working out how much money I had left until payday, and how much I could spend on booze that day.

I was easily spending £20+ a day on booze, that equates to over £600 a month, or £7,200 a year. Absolutely insanity.

Being sober at this time of year is so, so difficult. There are so many parties and events that we must muddle through. I intend to use my word prioritise in 2026 to enable me to say “No”. I am a complete people pleaser, but I want to take my own life by the horns next year and only commit to doing things that benefit me and my loved ones. And if that in turn puts a few noses out of joint then so be it.

2025 for me was all about getting on the wagon and staying on it. 2026 is for building on the progress I have made, and continue to work on myself, and just be a happy, loving parent and partner. And stay sober!

Back at work today to get a little bit of work complete, could probably have waited until the NY but will be all hands to the pump next Monday, so best to just get it over and done with today.

I wish everyone a wonderful day before Hogmanay.

Good morning shipmates.

I'm resting up again after having a turn whilst out. I'm at the doctors next week so we'll see what they say.

The DS has been checking the cupboard for supplies which i havent got. So

Happy New Year @Adsy1988 a lot of your post really resonates with me and my thoughts going into 2026. Sobriety helps me to put myself, my partner and children first so is an easy win in that regard.
I found December okay in terms of staying sober but Christmas week and twixmas has been really triggering for me. I think being sober a lot of feelings I've ignored over the years have come bubbling up so I should address my need for counselling in the new year. I thought that being sober I'd feel really cheerful all the time but unfortunately this hasnt been my reality.
I just need to take things day by day, I'm actually looking forward to going back to having some routine.
I hope youre not in too much discomfort @WendyWagon a week is a long time to wait for an appointment.

@WendyWagon - I'm so so sorry to hear about your turn. I do hope it's nothing too serious and you will be alright. I hope your DS will venture out to the shops and buy you a treat. In the meantime, very much love from me and Sid. 💐❤️

With some Christmas tokens I have bought myself a little device which converts old slides into digital pictures - did my first box yesterday; pictures of 7-week old me and my first Christmas. Ye gods, I was an ugly baby (although, to be fair, bonnier than my DB - as a baby he looked like a bulldog chewing a wasp). It occurred to me as I was doing them yesterday that the later boxes might throw up things that are triggering. Hopefully not.

I love your DP's idea of a word rather than a resolution for 2026 @Adsy1988 - that's brilliant, and your word "prioritise" is a very fine choice. I think I will have "free" as mine. I used to do the same as you with my bank balance all the time, when I was deep in the throes of addiction. It chills me to the core now when I consider the times that the funds were low and I seriously contemplated using my company credit card to buy more drink, crafting careful reasons as to why I'd done it "accidentally" if I'd been caught. Didn't actually happen, of course, but I did come very very close and the thoughts torment me. 😬 I'm lucky enough to be in a highly respected position at work now (they'd be horror-struck if they knew the real me) - and to ponder that I could so easily have thrown it away for a couple of fresh bottles of Jacky-Ds, lost my car, my home, everything, and for what? Awful. Thank goodness for this space. I'd done SMART and had support from NHS Inclusion, which was the saving of me. But finding this thread in 2023 is what has kept me true.

Strength and courage my friends. Slimming World tonight; and there shall be a reckoning. I've had too much Christmas cheese. But it is mighty tasty, hehe.

Keep going. It will be alright. xx

Should add that I WFH about 95% of the time. I don’t think I went a day in about seven months when I wasn’t drinking on the job. I feel so fortunate to still have my job. I think had I spilled everything to work I would probably have lost my job.

That’s yet another motivation to remain sober. I have worked for 15+ years for the career I have, and I very nearly threw everything away, similar to how you view your past @REP22 . There by the the grace of God, go I etc…

@Becky3825 are you about?? Tell us you’re ok?

gym this morning
movies this pm
very quiet day here

Hi everyone, just checking in. I'm on day 8 and feeling a lot calmer. If only I can keep this up!

I relate so much to the ADHD stuff, I really need to get my act together and see whether ADHD meds improve my quality of life.

@WendyWagon I'm so glad your party went well! And I'm so sorry you're not feeling well today.

We went to London on Sunday to see a show, something very rare for us. It was The Importance of Being Earnest, with Stephen Fry. Very campy and a bit pantomime-like, but I loved it. Fry was excellent in his role. We got 'cheap' tickets at the last minute (but they were still expensive!) and I was a bit overwhelmed by being in the theatre district. The streets were absolutely heaving with people, and so was the tube. We live only an hour or so away from London by train, but I felt very provincial - there were so many people! My small city is very calm in comparison. Anyway it was a great day and I was happy to have given the DC a memory that they will hopefully look back on with affection.

Last night DS2 (age 14) went to see a football match with a friend. The friend then left and he was stranded on his own at the stadium and didn't know how to get home. I was happy to be sober as I was able to get on my bike and meet him and cycle back home with him (he had cycled there). We don't have a car so we all use bikes... however he doesn't know this bike route at all, so I was glad he rang me rather than trying to negotiate the route in the dark.

We have no plans for new year's eve. I kind of feel like we should be doing something, but on the other hand I don't feel like joining in on a booze-fuelled extravaganza. Hmm. We'll probably just spend a quiet night at home.

My head is so so much better when I'm not drinking. Love to all!

I meant to say I hope you've been ok going back to work @Carpetburn ! Work is my big drinking trigger as well.

Work was less fun today! Not quite so smug as I was but home and in my pjs without any cravings so that’s a success.
@WendyWagon i hope your turn wasn’t too serious and wanted to send my well wishes for a swift recovery.
@elusivehope my job escalated my alcohol use massively and I have been entirely wretched at times with the stress of it. Unfortunately my sense of never being quite enough has led me to at times overcompensate by chucking all my energy into work, picking up the slack without complaint and reaching pretty near total burnout a year ago. I was advised to take time off sick but I didn’t -I just increased my drinking to cope. Which in turn made everything feel much worse.
i’ve done a lot of work on boundaries in the last year and that has helped me a lot as well as being very strict about my working hours. I still definitely work longer hours than I’ve paid for, but nothing like I did previously. And guess what the sky hasn’t fallen in and I’m actually far better at my job feeling well!
But I’m not complacent I know one really bad day is risky for me and so I’ve got a fairly rigid routine that seems to be helping!

Hope you're okay @WendyWagon, sorry to hear you had a turn. Hope all goes well with docs x

And yes, @Becky3825 hope you're doing okay too x

And yes @Becky3825 i hope you’re doing ok but either way we are here for the celebrations, commiserations and anything in between.

I hope you're feeling better, @WendyWagon.

Congratulations to all who have made it so far. After a couple of days it will be back to normal - easier maybe, as there will be fewer invitations and so on.

My children have both gone home now, and the house is slowly getting back to normal too. I should get the last lot of sheets changed tomorrow, and then it's just the guest towels - it would be easier if the rain gave it a rest for a while. I have one more dinner to do in early January. It's a Christmas one, but by the time we organised it our options were limited, so we made it for after the holidays. I haven't felt tempted at all. This will have been my ninth consecutive sober Christmas, so the triggers aren't there any longer. I had AF wine with dinner, and Merry Berry mulled 'wine' and kombucha in the evenings. Nobody else drank a lot either - not because of me, but Daughter was here on her own (well, with the dog, and he doesn't drink), and Son and DIL were driving a lot, so they didn't go out. Even Husband was fairly abstemious - they all had a couple of drinks, but nobody to the point where it showed.

It's by birthday in Christmas week, so I'm looking at a huge pile of chocolate😎. I really need to put it out of sight and just bring out a box at a time. I also found the Christmas cake and two boxes of After Eights that were put away when the kitchen was tidied before Christmas and forgotten about. It's all an embarrassment of riches, really, but I'm not complaining.

Evening all.
Thanks for the good wishes.
Ive been in bed all day bar the shower and the need to cook sone breakfast.
I even fell asleep in the middle of pirates of the Caribbean.
My ds cooked my tea as ive not been eating properly. I could live on rice pudding and crisps!

Im not sure what's wrong with me. Ive had two ops and I'm still not fully mobile. I'm exhausted and cant sit or stand for any length of time. I dread sleeping because i cant due to the pain. The steriods after the ops help but i cant take those long term.
I do feel very depressed and useless.

Sorry to read about your turn @WendyWagon. Take it easy.

My word for 2026 is going to be 'Strength.' I will stand up tall and remind myself that I can be brave and have courage to do things that scare me (like say no!) but also I'm going to end 2026 being physically stronger than I started. Thank you for sharing @Adsy1988

@elusivehopehow lovely that you were able to do that for your son. I'd be pissed off with his friend though - abandoning him like that.

Bet it was quiet at Slimming World @REP22!

@Teaforthetotalkeep at it, a few more days and then a reset. It's good that you're recognising what you need. Hope you're feeling okay.

Like the sound of the skirt @PhantomOfAllKnowledge- feels even better when it's one you've been eyeing up.

You can be smug here @Carpetburn:-)

@WendyWagon
that sounds tough. Be kind to yourself,

my word is brave. Everyone thinks I am, but it’s a front. I have a very challenging life. I need to be brave and sober to handle it.

I hope you feel better @WendyWagon one of my pregnancies I was obsessed with rice pudding, delicious stuff! I’m sorry you’re feeling down, limited mobility and being stuck in when it’s cold don’t help at all. I’m glad your son is stepping up, brighter days ahead and I hope you’ve are on the mend soon. Do speak again to your GP about physio and pain relief. Lack of sleep alone is bound to make you feel down, I hope they can get on top of that for you x

@REP22 how did you get on? I lost 2lb Christmas week and I even put a whole Brie on top of my baked Christmas potatoes. The no alcohol has done wonders for my waistline. Hit my club 10 too recently so I’ve lost over 10% of my body weight.
@Lavrander my group was mega busy, our consultant joked that we’d all do anything to escape in laws and house guests and I think she was right. I’m with you wanting to be physically stronger, 2026 is the year I get my fitness back.

@Adsy1988 i think my word is going to be Phoenix - I am reborn out of the fires of inebriation and am anew with lots to look forward too. New year, new me.

@ShyMaryEllen a very happy birthday to you.

Good morning all. @WendyWagon fingers crossed you’re feeling better, @ShyMaryEllen hope you had a nice birthday (enjoy the chocolate!), @FiloPasty well done on your 2lb loss over Xmas, hope you also had a good meeting @REP22? Your posts about £ made me think, I’m now fortunate financially but it will be lovely to save what I currently flush down the loo; I grew up poor though so still have a strange ‘anything for nothing’ mentality. I have a company card and can expense meals when working away, 1/3 of a meal can be alcohol so I work out what I will be drinking, then choose my food! I was recently in an airport at 6am, didn’t fancy breakfast so got 2 pints & ‘lost the receipt’, shameful eh?!
I didn’t find it difficult to abstain yesterday despite going shopping & to a pub, but I’m not going to lie, last night in bed was brutal. Insomnia, sweats & horrible itching all over. I Can’t ever remember having this before but I’ll get through it & I feel surprisingly fresh this morning, the dogs were very excited at get a 5am walk!

Morning lads.
A slightly better sleep so not feeling so desperate.

The DS has left for the big smoke. He's been cooking. I need one of those blank recipe books to put the family favourites in. He is quite the foodie.

I've not bothered with the af drinks as im getting up in the night already!

Belated happy birthday @ShyMaryEllen

Morning lads, happy Hogmanany. Off to a NYE party at my local bowling club tonight, been times when I can’t remember leaving, or even the bells. Tonight will be a much more sober affair.

I love New Year. And I have a feeling that 2026 is going to be the best year yet.

Have a great one, a sober one, whatever you’re doing.

Morning! I have decided my word for 2026 will be 'courage'. Courage to push through the difficult times without the crutch of alcohol, courage to keep on trying to make the changes I need in my life even when the path is strewn with troubles, courage, should I fail, to face what I have done and pick myself up again.

Strength to all if this is going to be a difficult day for you.

Happy New Year's Eve everyone!

I like the word thing! I think i will go with consistent. I will consistently stay sober, get my studying done, and keep going with my health and fitness

Good luck with NYE sobriety everyone, we can do this 💪

Hello Shipmates, bit foggy here today and very cold. Sid was reluctant to leave his bed.

@FiloPasty and @Lavrander yes, Slimming World was VERY thin on the ground. Unfortunately, the same can't be said for me. I had gained A LOT. Grim. I blame the cheese. But I am going to make a new, more concerted effort going forwards, soon will be back on track. Out of everyone who was there last night, only two had actually lost weight. Congratulations on your 2lb, Filo, that's brilliant. 🙂

Glad you had a better night @WendyWagon - hope things continue to pick up.. My SiL did a family recipe book one year, we all contributed something - Sid's predecessor sent a recipe for home-made dog biscuits.

Belated happy birthday @ShyMaryEllen - hope it was a lovely one for you.

Strength and courage to you. And happy new year from me and Sid. We love you all. xx

Love and courage to everyone as we move into the new year. I think my word will be strong, even though I don't currently feel it, but I will do my best to live up to it!