Continuing support thread for those trying to live an alcohol free life - summer 2025

[Onewildandpreciouslife]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.

The original thread was started by @drybird in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain completely . If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there if that is your aim. That doesn’t mean that none of us has ever slipped, or that you can’t post here if you do - all we ask is that you are genuinely trying to stop drinking alcohol completely.

It’s not easy to be sober, but it is so, so worth it. Your alcohol-free life can be better than you ever dreamed. Come on in.

@ShyMaryEllen Exactly! 'Compulsion' is just the right word. When I have my fancy AF drink, one glass is lovely - and enough. I really enjoy it but I never swig it down and go back to the kitchen to pour another, then another... But with wine, I could never stop at one. That first half glass created that compulsion for more. I guess that's its addictive nature and why I'd be scared to try having 'just one' now.

Thanks all
still safe and still sober
another difficult date tomorrow
but I can do it
💪💪💪

Good morning. I've been away for a few days with friends, would normally have drunk wine in the evenings but stuck to sparkling water with ice and a slice. Didn't spoil the fun of the trip at all, but I did find it hard to stick to. Home now and I will not drink today....

Morning All! @March2027 and @Swanchaser - it's good to hear that you're succeeding despite temptation. It has to get easier over time. I'm off visiting a friend for a few days. The usual routine when I go is pub visits, beer in the garden, wine at 6 o'clock... I'm a bit nervous about what it will be like this time - but also interested to see the difference.

Morning all.
I was hoping for rain. Not happened yet.

'say what you mean and do what you say'.

House shenanigans are popping up. I don't want the stress tbh.

I've been given a new job for September. I feel awful but I don't want it. I'm old, knackered and want to sit on my arse.

Ahoy.
I will not drink today.

I've had a bit of a setback and been getting myself back on track. I have not fallen overboard and drunk though.
Love and kind thoughts to all

Morning all.
Rain here - hooray! Hope it reaches you soon @WendyWagon

Well done @Swanchaser , and good luck with your weekend away @LillyPJ - the mantra “you haven’t come so far to only come so far” might be useful!

Good to see you again @mermadeincornwall - look after yourself

Morning all. Welcome to the newbies.

We had rain overnight and it is just lovely lying in bed listening to the birds chirping away.

I am exhausted, I feel I really need a holiday (would.ideally like to retire but as I probably have at least another 20 working years in me, it's unlikely to be happening soon)

Sorry to hear about DD's job struggles @WendyWagon . The prospects for the kids frighten me a lot tbh.

Good morning. Feeling a bit emotional as a write this but day four today and I want to keep going so rather than lurking I've name changed and am all in.
i can't think when it turned from a habit into such an unhealthy lifestyle. I tell myself that because a) it's not day time, and b) it's only every other day that it isn't a problem. But I feel tired all the time, I'm grumpy every other day because I'm hungover, and then on the day I'm not hungover I wake up thinking oh this is wonderful I won't drink today and then it gets to 6pm and the wine gets opened and I'm drinking 1.5 bottles. It's only 1.5 as am buying three and sharing it with my DH.
So he also drinks too much but I've got to do this for myself. He can absolutely moderate and when I've quit before he's just found it really easy to just not drink for weeks at a time and then maybe have a beer or two.
My problem is I just cannot moderate.
In daily life I look like I eat healthily, I go to the gym, I walk a lot, but I have this vice that's around my neck and honestly just pissing me off (started writing this on the edge of tears and now am just angry about it). Why am I destroying my health like this??
My parents are problem drinkers - I only ever call them in the morning. I can see what will happen if I keep going.
Anyway thank you for this lovely thread. It's nice to be able to be honest.

I’m glad you’ve found the courage to post @Lavrander - we have all been where you are now.
Try not to beat yourself up - your brain and body have been reacting exactly the way they are supposed to to an addictive substance, and if both your parents drink heavily you have been shown from a very young age that alcohol is the way you deal with stress, tiredness, celebration etc
For now, just focus on getting through these first few days. If you’re on day 4 you’re nearly through the hardest part, so grit your teeth and hang in there. Post as much as you need

Morning! Just wanted to chip in to say hello to new shipmates - and old.

I’m sorry to hear about your setback @mermadeincornwall but huge congratulations for not drinking through it. It’s all well and good ‘knowing’ that alcohol will not make things better, but putting that thought into practice is the difficult part. So well done 😃 Your morning affirmations always brighten my day and strengthen my resolve, so thank you 🙏

Thanks @Onewildandpreciouslife. Am actually needing to go to my parents this evening and whilst I'm looking forward to seeing them I just know that the wine will have been open for hours by the time I get there. Usually I'd just join in to avoid getting frustrated at all the questions I've already answered for the 5th time because they don't remember anything I tell them anymore.

But, today I have a plan. I'm going to take some posh sparkling water round and some lemons and just say no straight away. If I do that then actually I know they'll be respectful because deep down I know they know they drink too much too and want the best for me. But because I want the best for them it's hard to see it without just having the attitude 'if you can't beat them, join them' if you know what I mean? I get so angry at them sometimes thinking about what the future holds for them (and in turn me).
Anyway; can only control my own actions. Plan made.

Hope everyone else is doing okay. Following all of your journeys and cheer leading for you all. Was on the side lines, now in the crew :-)

Morning all
as I’ve said v difficult day today. Going to start with a long dog walk

Morning all
as I’ve said v difficult day today. Going to start with a long dog walk

@March2027 good luck today whatever you have ahead of you. I bet this time is really refreshing for a walk with your furry pal!

@Lavrander I can imagine that is a massive challenge, difficult.
One thing you’re spot on about is that you can only control what you do. That’s what I decided too, but do you know what, my DH is so impressed with how I have been doing it has helped him cut down too. This is my 4th week, I have lost 4kg and that is spurring me on as well.
You’re totally doing the right thing. I have a few pals who are heavy drinkers, they probably wouldn’t admit it, but they have been supportive of me, no one has questioned it all. I secretly hope that me doing well, might help them (my parents are no longer with us, but I empathise with your worries).

Thank you @NeedANewOne25. Looking forward to getting to my 4th week.
@March2027sending lots of support for today. Hope the sun shines on your walk.

Morning all.

Nowt to report really. Cooler here.

Hope your day was ok @March2027 .

Welcome @Lavrander well done on 4days. I joined this thread when I was 3-4days in and the support I received was incredible.

Amazing work @NeedANewOne25 . Well done.

No news here, bumbling along. Off to the South and Cornwall for a couple of weeks from next Monday which I am looking forward too. Lots happening at work but I am trying to avoid it.

Morning all.
Hope today goes as well as it can @March2027 . I find the mantra “this is what is happening right now, I’m doing the best that I can” (from Brad Stulberg’s “Practice of Groundedness”) useful at such times

It’s encouraging to hear your DH has cut down too @NeedANewOne25 , and well done on your 4 weeks

@Lavrander Remember it's not you that's destroying your health - it's the alcohol that's trying to do that. It's cunning and whispers to us and lures us in. But we have strength and support here. Keep on going - you can do it.

@Lavrander hope it went okay at your parents. I liked how you mentioned the health aspect, it's great to keep that in focus. I identified as I used to binge drink with my Dad when he was alive. It's good to break out of the dynamic.
I had a work event last night, a drinks reception followed by a meal and dancing. They had non-alcoholic beer and I managed to really enjoy myself. I didn't know the colleagues there well, which was great, nobody knew that I used to drink heavily.

Public Service Announcement
For anyone interested in hypnosis, I've just discovered that Darren Marks is on Apple Music, and quite probably other streaming services such as Spotify too. I really rate his tracks, although the Control Alcohol one is not my favourite. I find the Sleep one and the Relaxation ones are excellent for bedtime listening if you are struggling with insomnia (I use sleep headphones. Getting them on the Harmony app (which he owns) costs £80 a year, so if you already have Apple Music or some other way to get them for no extra cost it's a no-brainer to use that instead.

As you were, shipmates😎

Made t through the day
safe and sober

I made it through the day too, @March2027 but it wasn't easy. I've learned that, although it was far too easy to drink loads of alcohol on a pub crawl, it's really hard to drink lots of non-alcoholic drinks. I struggled to finish the last ginger ale and I was getting quite bored. Anyway, I've reached bedtime safe, sound and sober - and that's 9 while weeks now! Congratulations to all who got through the day successfully, and if you didn't, never mind - tomorrow is another day. Good luck!