Continuing support thread for those trying to live an alcohol free life - summer 2025

[Onewildandpreciouslife]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.

The original thread was started by @drybird in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain completely . If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there if that is your aim. That doesn’t mean that none of us has ever slipped, or that you can’t post here if you do - all we ask is that you are genuinely trying to stop drinking alcohol completely.

It’s not easy to be sober, but it is so, so worth it. Your alcohol-free life can be better than you ever dreamed. Come on in.

@LillyPJ I am beginning to suspect you are sponsored by Martini 😂 You’re doing a great job if so, as I’m really wanting to try it. Which is odd, as I didn’t like the alcoholed version! I think I’m rather tempted by the idea of a frozen orange slice. Congratulations on day 60 - that’s huge.

Sending good vibes to @elusivehope for day 1. You can do this.

@FaithHopeCarnage I was beginning to think I ought to emphasize that I'm not sponsored by Martini! It's just that it's the first AF drink I've tried that I genuinely loved and could barely tell was AF. I wasn't bothered about Martini before and have been really disappointed by AF gins and wines. Some beers are ok. Finding that AF Martini was a huge help in those first few days - along with all the support on here, of course. I think it was just luck that several things came together at the right time for me.

Thanks so much everyone for all the lovely messages of support; they have really cheered me up today. I'm not good with the heat and have been feeling low today but I know it's a normal chemical low as my body detoxes. On the bright side I don't feel much like drinking; it will be more dangerous when I start to feel better, and my brain starts to whisper to me that just one drink will help me get some work done.

Speaking of work I've done very little today, and my superego is making me feel guilty about that, but hell, I'm not listening. Once the alcohol has properly left my system I can start worrying about work again.

@WendyWagon I'm sorry about your DS. My older DS is home after his 2nd year of uni, and in general in his view I can do nothing right. 🙄This has been the case for a long time. To be honest, I'm sure all the drinking I was doing for a big chunk of his childhood wasn't easy for him. 😥I hid the drinking mostly, but he was exposed to the worst of my emotional ups and downs. Anyway, now I tend to just cut him a lot of slack and give him a lot of space. He has a better relationship with DH (his dad). He can be very sweet sometimes, but also very critical, which I think is fairly typical of young adults: seeing the world in black and white.

just keep telling yourself this is the worst you will feel so will from this point on all get better
That is really helpful @March2027 thank you!

Do you have a plan for your trigger points?
That's a good question @Onewildandpreciouslife I will have to think about that. I have a much-postponed writing deadline that has been extended to Friday, and every time I think about it I'm sort of gripped by cold fear. I need to plan out a strategy for working on it tomorrow. A short headspace meditation and a good coffee maybe.

@NeedANewOne25 thank you for your inspirational message. I also weigh more than ever before. In the past I haven't actually managed to lost weight when not drinking (I think when I drink, I eat a lot less) but I'm still hoping that once I'm properly sober, my body's hunger signals will be less screwed up and I can pay more attention to healthy eating. Congratulations on your three weeks; that's brilliant! It's encouraging that you've noticed a difference so quickly.

I also meant to say, thanks for the advice about AF drinks. 😂at @LillyPJ being a secret Martini employee. I will have to try those.

My fave non-alc drinks so far are Lucky Saint, those little pre-mixed tins of Gordons alcohol-free G&T (they're not cheap, but then again neither is alcohol!) and Belvoir raspberry lemonade. Usually I'm not a big fan of sweet drinks, but I love the raspberry lemonade. Maybe it's replacing all the sugar I usually get from wine 🙄

P.S. @LillyPJ I forgot to congratulate you on your 60 days! That's fabulous!

Evening all
I really wanted to share something with you . So I bought a new quit lit book off Vinted a few weeks ago and last night after I’d read the first chapter I noticed something had fallen out of the book. This is what I found and I must admit it literally had me in tears ….. people/ strangers can be so incredibly kind and this came at the perfect time . I have put it inside my glasses case and will read it many more times x x

@mumzof4x what a wonderful thing to find in a book. I'm actually crying. It's full of hope.

I've had a shit day worrying about my DD. She's gone off to do an awful part time job miles away. It's the only one offered in over a year. No student jobs, no graduate jobs. Even qualified doctors can't get training contracts.
The world's gone to poop.

@WendyWagonmy dd is a bit behind yours then. Qualifies next year and no idea where or if she will get an F1 job . The hours and hours she has put in are incredible x Rooting for them.

Crossed wires. She not a doctor yet. PhD next year.
She has had to take anything. 100 jobs applied for.

Evening shipmates, and welcome to newbies one and all.

That note is so lovely, @mumzof4x. Is your daughter a med student, @WendyWagon? It's hard seeing them struggle, isn't it? Mine is looking for her first house, and everything is so expensive. She works really hard but doesn't earn much and finding somewhere has been a series of disappointments. She's got her eye on one that looks just right, but the vendors would have to accept an offer well below asking price, so who knows if it will work out.

ETA I've just seen that she is going to do a PhD. It's insane that doctors can't get work whilst patients can't get appointments.

Good morning.
Up to do the big conference call.
Very formal so I need to dress up.
Thank God I haven't got to commute into London.

My garden is looking good. I can't wait for the new one.

The DD did the full shift at the new job. She got talking to a couple of the teachers. One chap quit straight away but I think she'll stick at it as it's only temporary. She surprised me!

Morning all.
Good luck with the call @WendyWagon

I’m going into the office today - not looking forward to the journey in but the aircon at the end will be worth it!

Good morning shipmates. Hope you're doing OK in the heat. I'm not enjoying it and Sid is very unhappy. I had to get up in the night and sponge him down with cool water.

Aircon is a blessing, where it exists. Our main offices for some reason doesn't have it in the open plan office floors, but on in full blast in the inner, windowless resources rooms. It's like the bl~~dy doorway to Narnia, going in there.❄️

Sounds very promising for your DD @WendyWagon - hope the conference call goes OK.

Stay safe my friends. Strength and courage. xx

Good morning you wonderful, inspiring people. It's been a while since I posted- I read every post, every day, and mostly keep shyly quiet- but I wanted to say hi, and thank you to you all. I have made it to 6 months! I cannot believe it. At day 1 I did not think I could do it, and the first few days, weeks, and months even were so hard. But, I am starting to feel better. No pink cloud as such, but I'm OK with that. Smellyme reminded me the other day of the quote about it taking 100 days to see it, and 6 months to feel it, and for me that appears to be very true. I have had some awful cravings, but have not given in, and I am slowly learning to not let them turn in to fantasies. I could not have done it without the help of the inspiring words from you wonderful ladies. I felt alone until I found you. Strangers you may be, such as the beautiful person who left that heartwarming note in Mumzof4x's book, but you feel like friends. THANK YOU X

Many congratulations @IChooseTo !! 6 months is such an important milestone, and it’s wonderful you’re starting to feel the benefits from the hard work you’ve put in 👏👏👏

Thank you very much Onewildandpreciouslife, and thank you for taking over the captaincy of this fabulous ship! 💗

@IChooseTo Congratulations on 6 months - that's awesome! I keep my eyes on the next target. For me, that's 9 weeks. So I am beginning to count in weeks rather than days (or - as at the beginning - in hours!) And I'm gradually mentioning to friends that I'm not drinking at the moment. I don't want to make a big thing of it to them as none of them realize just how much I was drinking in the first place. I have several bottles of wine people have given me as gifts or thankyous for favours and am wondering what to do with them!

Well done @IChooseTo and @LillyPJ
I like the idea of keeping your eye on the next goal, I think for me that's going to be 3 months.
I caught up with a sober friend yesterday and it was so nice to chat to someone irl about how I've been finding it :)
Being sober helps me live my best life and all I need to do is not drink.

A very difficult anniversary for me today. But am facing it sober.

Well done, @March2027. I hope it goes well for you - remember we're here for you?

Well, I've made it through day 2. The nausea is better but I'm having some stomach pain, which has happened to me before when I've tried to stop drinking. It's a bit scary to think that alcohol has damaged my stomach. Both eating and not eating currently make me feel queasy.

I almost drank at multiple points today. One was when I started trying to work on the extremely overdue article I'm writing. It's now in the revision stages but I've written the whole thing over many months in a boozy haze, and it feels very strange to try to work on it sober. I feel like I have to relearn how to write without drinking. Anyway I managed to do a bit of work, and hope to do more tomorrow. The other danger time was when I was cooking dinner and my stomach was hurting and I was very tempted to pop to the shop to buy a couple of mini bottles of wine because I thought it would make me feel physically better immediately. But I thought, I can't give up on bloody day 2, this is ridiculous. Phew.

I'm so relieved that the weather is meant to be a bit cooler tomorrow. I'm sure part of my queasiness today was heat-related.

@mumzof4x that note is so lovely. What a brilliant thing for someone to do. Faith in humanity is restored when you experience a gesture like that.

@WendyWagon I hope your meeting went well, and bravo to your DD. It's a real shame that it's so hard for young people to find work, even when they're graduates.

@IChooseTo thank you for the beautiful post. I keep thinking about the 100 days and six months thing too. It feels impossibly far off right now but it's amazing to see how many people on these threads have made it there.

@March2027 sending you much sympathy and strong sober vibes.

Typing out that post just made me realise that sipping chugging wine while I try to write and sipping wine when I'm making dinner are two very ingrained habits for me. I have to be super aware at those times.

Some big wins there @elusivehope . Once you start to notice these things you can plan around them - the writing aspect is interesting
, as I find it is sometimes really hard to settle to a big piece of work. I recognise that my mind feels “jittery”, so I often use music to half- distract myself

Hope you’ve got through the anniversary ok @March2027

Well done, @elusivehope ! It's good to notice those habits and triggers. I always had wine at 6 o'clock and looked forward to it. I spent half the afternoon glancing at the clock! But now I realize that half the attraction was just that I'd stop working then, sit down and relax. I still sit down and relax then, but I sit in a different chair with a different drink. The weather's really cooled off here now. I hope your stomach pains go away soon.

I think half the pleasure of wine (or drink of choice) is anticipation and the other half is the first half glass. That’s the bit you can actually taste, and you start to feel the effect as it goes down. After that, it becomes more of a compulsion - a routine - and the alcohol masks the taste.