Continuing support thread for those trying to live an alcohol free life - summer 2025

[Onewildandpreciouslife]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.

The original thread was started by @drybird in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain completely . If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there if that is your aim. That doesn’t mean that none of us has ever slipped, or that you can’t post here if you do - all we ask is that you are genuinely trying to stop drinking alcohol completely.

It’s not easy to be sober, but it is so, so worth it. Your alcohol-free life can be better than you ever dreamed. Come on in.

Completed the meeting amd in bed ready for snoozing. Felt like I couldnt really identify with anyone or their 'monlogues' but that is the way these meetings can be and usually I get a lot out of them, and this particular one. Everyone was just talking about drinking all day and hiding bottles and being permanantly drunk for 2 years... not the usual thing for the meeting but we read some text that was sort of the 'topic' to discuss so it was relevent to that. Just honestly started to make me feel I was 'okay' and wanted a bloody drink! The opposite effect.

Got my local alcohol and drug service assessment tomorrow, a phone call at 11am. That will certainly remind me what an utter shit show I can get into when I drink.

@CuddlesKovinsky

It will not come off. It is honestly not the one at all as the twins start school Wednesday and the last thing I need is more judgment or eyes on me after the past few years. You couldn't make this shit up. Trying to see the funny side and just know that at some point the glittery Mike Tyson's will become 'normal' children again

Morning all.
Well done on your 49 days and your social events @Kipperandarthur . I think that is one of the biggest surprises of being sober - that social events are actually more fun. I have had always had dreadful social anxiety but discovered what I thought was a “magic cure” at about 17. Alcohol certainly gives us the ability to talk more, and with less restraint, but it makes us absolutely useless at listening to others. I find social events sober so much more relaxing as I’m not having to constantly monitor myself

We love wins here @MeAndTheDoggo - don’t ever apologise for a win! We are fighting a battle against society telling us that drinking alcohol is the default position, the key to happiness and success, yada yada. We need to build a new narrative for ourselves, and every little win is a brick in that narrative

Sorry you didn’t find the meeting as helpful @Becky37 - I guess some will be more relevant to you than others. I hope the call goes well this morning and you get some more support

Well done to those of you so far on, I have total admiration for you. I really struggled last night, and then couldn't sleep - I need to use your inspiration to crack this x

Im back to fight another day. This must stop. Day one again. I am so close to loosing everything yet it calls my name incessantly. The urge is on me so badly already. Reaching out for some support and encouragement that I can beat this today please

@Freedombeckonsme You can beat this. It's just a case of getting the right things in place together to help you fight off the urge for a day. It took me years for that to happen, then a random mix of circumstances suddenly and unexpectedly coincided and Day 1 happened. All you can do is prepare as best you can - have other drinks in place, other activities planned, some other treat lined up, somebody to talk or write to, Quit lit to read or podcasts to watch. I found 'Rain in my Heart' on iPlayer was a haunting and powerful watch, AF Martini with tonic was a great drink and this thread was so encouraging. Good luck and well done for posting.

P.S. I also found the TryDry app great for keeping me motivated. It was encouraging to see the days and the money saved mount up.

it sounds like you’re in a lot of pain @Freedombeckonsme . I’m so sorry. Are you able to reach out to someone in real life?

It might be a good idea to see your GP, as stopping drinking suddenly may not be safe for you.

Alcohol ChangeUK has a “get help now” page with helpline numbers on - I will try to link to it but you should be able to find it via their home page if I fail!

Keep posting x

Have you tried reading loads of Quit Literature? I read masses and masses and it really helped me in the beginning. I read book after book, taking a little bit of wisdom from each.

I also found it really important to find something I liked drinking instead and still experiment with different flavoured Fever Tree mixers, AF gins and martinis for the weekend etc.

My absolute current favourites for in the week are Fever Tree blood orange soda, San Pelligrino blood orange no added sugar sparkling water and also diet ginger beer. I save AF Gordons gin for the weekend.

@FreedombeckonsmeI thought about you this morning and wondered how you are doing.
Routing for you. Is there anything you can do today to occupy yourself?

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to respond and think about me. I am very grateful and feel safe to share here on this space.
I have downloaded the referee app. Does anyone have any experience with this?

Afternoon shipmates.
I'm reclining on the sofa having moved boxes again for painting.
I'm due a lightly loved chandelier later for the boudoir.

I tried a 0.5% cider from Marks yesterday, it was lovely. I also sneeked in some cheese 🧀.

I'm not one for podcasts but I loved the Sober Dave book. Byronny Gordon not so much. I also loved the original Rachel's Holiday but that is a funny book for some light hearted reading (Marion Keyes is a former alcoholic).
I did go to AA but found it very variable. One meeting host was hostile the other meet just too big in number. I'd go again if needed.
Sherbet lemons are also good if your poison was Sav blanc. One of them or the whole bag!

@Freedombeckonsme

I have been where you are so many times. Probably will be again... but honestly you need to find your local drug and alcohol service and ask for an assessment. They will take a while to get back to you, probably a week or so, but it will set the wheels in motion for proper help. I had mine today and i'm doing a weekly zoom group as well as going in for SMART meetings with them. Also my 'case worker' will ring a few times a week to check in and there are other things on offer like acupuncture and craft classes. I am a binge drinker that can go weeks without a drink. They still took me totally seriously as they, as well as I, know it will kill me in the end. Or worse. Please reach out to them ❤️‍🩹

Also I am doing AA and the reading and podcasts, but honestly having real life support is key when you are in the treches and stuck in the cycle

Ooh fascinating! I’m a big uncanny fan, and I believe we also live in a haunted house. Bit in a scary way, in a comforting way though

@MeAndTheDoggo a great name.
We call our dogs doggos.

I'm going back to test the vibe with the BFF on Friday. She's not a mystic but I know plenty if needed. I want the barns and orchard. I'm such a Farmer Palmer! I've got my wellies ready. 😅

Fab! You’ll have uk keep us posted. I meant uk say ‘not’ in a scary way 🤦🏻‍♀️ Predictive text is always pulling a number on me 😆

Hello shipmates, today has been day 1 for me again 😥

Sending courage to all of you and especially the newcomers and the restarters!

I've had a bad week; I got a cold just before coming back from hols in France and it seems to have settled down into my chest (typical for me; I have asthma and dodgy lungs). So I've just felt exhausted and ill all week. I was so annoyed with myself for not getting stuff done that I convinced myself that a few drinks would make me feel physically better and get me moving. They actually made me feel a lot worse (no shit Sherlock). Yesterday afternoon I was meant to do a four-hour Zoom session with a group of other academics in my field, but I pulled out of it at the last minute. It was the right decision. I just need to accept that if I'm ill, I'm ill, and if that means lying around sluggishly all day, so be it.

Living life on life's terms as they say in AA. I've never been good at doing life on life's terms; I'm always trying to force either myself or the circumstances to change somehow.

Anyway I feel better not having had a drink today. I still have about a month to go before the uni term starts and I'm back to teaching every day. Precious time to dedicate to getting a firmer grip on sobriety.

I'm going to try to stick to some daily routines (which doesn't come naturally to me given the ADHD). Just 10 minutes of meditation, a gratitude list, posting on here - these things really helped me.

Partly I feel like a bloody idiot because I just keep relapsing, but earlier this summer with the help of this thread I did a sober stretch of some 40 days... I hadn't had a stretch of sober time like that for ages. So I tell myself I'm making progress, it's just not linear.

@Becky37 I'm very impressed with the way you're making the most of all the resources around you, AA and Smart and your local service. Bravo to you!

Thanks to all you brilliant women for being here.

And a hug to you @Freedombeckonsme , we have the same day one!

What is the referee app I wonder? You don't mean Reframe, do you?

Well done on getting up again @elusivehope ! Cheering you on!

Morning all
Well done @elusivehope. living life on life's terms is such a good thing to remember. I'd not heard of it before. Comes back to accepting the things we cannot change and if I can add another one that stays with me although I've heard it in a few corporate settings so I apologise for that - 'following your north star' - a good ship one for us though. The sea may be choppy and sharks are circling. We cannot change the weather or the sea but we can follow that star.

Morning all you sober warriors. Strength to you all today.

my plan to do a SMART meeting this evening online and just not pick up that first drink 💪

Happy Hump day to all 💜

Morning all. I had a better day yesterday in the end. Still not perfect and not exactly where I would want to be but a vast improvement.
Yes I did mean the reframe app. Apologies for spelling mistakes.
Yet another day one for me today but I feel a much more sense of power and capability today. No hangxiety or regret or remorse. Feeling much more grit and determination. I/we can recover as they say. I've done it before and can do it again. Thanks for all the support so far on this thread. It's great and really helps.
Hope everyone has a good and sober day

@Freedombeckonsme

Lets do this for us today 🥰

Greetings to shipmates old and new from Dartmoor, where it is currently weeing down. Am stuck in a cottage with M and Sid. Fortunately can access Netflix in here, so have parked M in front of Downton Abbey (bl~~dy hell) and relative peace reigns. The cottage is nice. There was a basket of goodies especially for Sid, which cheered him no end.

Still sober. Over two weeks now since my fall from grace and scramble back up. A blessing to be here.

Here's Sid, facing off against a cheeky lass who was determined to provoke him yesterday. He sat patiently - as he knows he must - but, dear lord, he was livid. The language out of him on the way back to the car would make a docker blush...

Strength and courage my friends. We will be alright. xx

@REP22

Hello fellow shire based lady! I'm live in Totnes so probably only half an hour away from you!. And i concur, it is raining continuously here

Lush picture of Sid as always 🥰