Continuing support thread for those trying to live an alcohol free life - summer 2025

[Onewildandpreciouslife]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.

The original thread was started by @drybird in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain completely . If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there if that is your aim. That doesn’t mean that none of us has ever slipped, or that you can’t post here if you do - all we ask is that you are genuinely trying to stop drinking alcohol completely.

It’s not easy to be sober, but it is so, so worth it. Your alcohol-free life can be better than you ever dreamed. Come on in.

Well done for getting through another day @Theweecatsmum , the days will soon start stacking up and youll feel stronger in dealing with those urges. Although you’re not alone, I had an urge for a glass of red at 9:30 this morning whilst out walking! I have NEVER been a morning drinker 🤣 I’m not quite sure where it popped up from as I wasn’t even thinking about alcohol. The same again this afternoon, a romantic notion that I could sit on my balcony enjoying just the one glass - as if!

I feel almost like I’ve hit that tipping point now with alcohol and really see it for the poison and dangerous drug that it is for me, to both my mental health and body and I can’t ignore that any longer. Plus my mood is definitely improving which makes dealing with the urges much that much easier.

You need to keep it in the fridge.
I know, which is why I asked. If it can take more than three days to get here (and apparently they are very subtle about it to preserve anonymity, so presumably it doesn't arrive in a refrigerated van) then I wondered if an extra few days before it was opened would matter, or if it only needs to be refrigerated after opening. I'll probably just leave it until I get home and order it then.

@Theweecatsmum, I always think that getting to know our individual triggers is vital. I suspect that more people are addicted to the habit of drinking than to the booze itself (but I'm no expert) so changing things in ways that shift the habit can be really helpful. Can you make arrangements to be doing something at the time of day when you get cravings? I don't know what would work for you, but something that is a proper commitment, not just something you tell yourself you'll do. Arranging to meet someone for a swim or coffee, or joining a class somewhere might fit the bill, and might help you to get out of the habit without noticing too much.

Obviously whether you can do that depends on your lifestyle and what is available, so another way round might be keeping the habit but changing the drink to something AF, so you still sit down, open the bottle and pour a glass. That worked for me in the early days. I kept things as 'normal' as possible, going out to the usual places, but drank lime and soda or AF wine instead of my usual drink.

@Theweecatsmum 6 o'clock was my wine time. I looked forward to it throughout the day and by 6, I was usually sitting down with the full glass ready... When I stopped drinking, I made sure I'd got plenty of interesting AF alternatives and kept to the routine of having a glass of something at 6. Like you, I'd usually drink before dinner and not after (so dinner was getting later and later!) When I went AF, I started having dinner earlier too. Now I sometimes don't even notice it's 6 oclock so that's progress.

@ShyMaryEllen ozempic, if same as Mounjaro, does come in a very insulated package with lots of ice packs around it and is probably ok for a day or so. Probably want to get it in fridge as soon as possible though.

I agree about the changing habits and doing things around that time. I am a bit debilitated at the minute but took up golf recently and love it so will do that any evening at danger time once i am well again. I think I drink to get out of my head and forget all my perceived problems that only exist in my head and were caused generally by the anxiety brought on by drinking. A real vicious cycle that only I can get out of. Realising that was a big thing for me. I have to forget about everyone else around me at the minute and focus on what I need minute by minute getting as much enjoyment as possible through it all.

thanks everyone for the welcome and support!

@LillyPJbecause I live alone and there was no brake I was starting a bottle of wine at 4pm and having dinner soon after and then continuing on. I am ashamed of it really.

Just now, since giving up wine, I am having a very simple dinner at 4pm so it isn’t anything that would trigger me and then the urge isn’t so strong after that.

It fits in with my diet as well as I am on Mounjaro so I just have breakfast and dinner. If I have lunch I am not hungry at 4pm for dinner - it’s a real balancing act just now and all designed to reduce temptation. I think it will just get easier though. I hope, like you, it will get so I don’t notice it anymore. That will be so amazing. I am retiring in a week or so and will take up loads of extra hobbies.

Another successful AF day!

Good morning shipmates.

Very interested to read a few of our number are on WLJ. I couldn't continue when I tried the meds last year but I do believe they stopped my wine cravings.

I slept well last night. The fumes downstairs were tough as we had to have special paint for our front door. It's stank. All dry now.

Moore painting today and then I've got a few days on my own. I'm never on my own but the DD has some holiday work.

@ShyMaryEllen sorry if I sounded like I was telling you how to suck eggs. I've been multi tasking!

I still have house fever.

Not at all, @WendyWagon! I obviously didn't explain very well why I wanted to know. I'll order when I get home, so there is no risk. I'm just impatient, is all😂

Is your house on the market? We haven't moved for 27 years. I dread the thought of packing up 27 years (or more, as I have no intention of moving unless/until I have to) worth of 'stuff' and going through the hassle of keeping the place tidy so that people can view. I do like looking at places to buy, but could do without the rigmarole of surveys and so on. My daughter is buying now, and vicarious stress is bad enough😀. When all the hassle is over and done, it's exciting though. A new start in a new home is so full of promise.

I seem to have the Nimbus special edition version of Covid, which is horrible - watch out for it!

On the good news front, nearly £1000 saved according to Try Dry which is amazing. I should probably subtract the money spent on non-alcoholic beer and ice-cream, but I won't 😁

@ShyMaryEllen not on the market until next week. Ho hum.
I like moving in away as I've done it 17 times as an adult but many as an army child.

@taylorean ice cream purchased doesn't count!

I bought shoes.

Hello shipmates, it's the last day of my France hols and I've come down with a cold, so have been moping about all day. At least the cold held off this long! Really sorry to hear about the Covid, @taylorean, I hope you feel better soon. Brilliant news though about the money saved!

I just want to be back home now. Am not looking forward to travelling tomorrow. But I AM looking forward to being reunited with our cat. And I do feel relaxed despite the cold.

Just checking in really. Wishing everyone a peaceful sober Tuesday.

Back to day one after another weekend binge. Referred myself to the local alcohol and drug service today but wont get a case worker fir a few weeks.

Got a plan in place to start AA and SMART meetings again. I keep going the week sober then falling off Fridays which has now bled into saturdays and sundays.

The last few weekends have been abolutely horrific so hopfully I have reached a bit of a rock bottom again.

Going to go to a local AA meeting tomorrow evening at 7pm. I want to stop this cycle and I am so scared I wont be able to. Need to do everything I can again before I loose everything I care about because I want to go 'for a few pints' on a Friday.

I am going to end up dead or loosing my kids, my career that hasnt even started yet. I am dangerously close to that now and I need intervention from proffesionals and to stop hiding and white knuckling it alone.

@Becky37 I hope your AA meeting goes well and helps you to get through the weekend sober. Well done for the self-referral too.You've acknowledged the dangers and have taken those first important steps,so you've already achieved something. Good luck.

@LillyPJ Thank you for taking the time to respond. I really hope I get to the meeting tomorrow and start to engage again with the sober community. I cant live like this anymore, it is not normal!

@Becky37 I really feel for you and can hear the fear in your post. I think we’ve all been there at some point, not so much for me now but I drank very heavily in my 20s and remember being terrified where it was all going to end. I actually had a health scare and that was enough to make me stop for several years.

Just remember though that it’s day 1 today and the fear will be heightened. A few days sober and you’ll feel more positive. You’re doing all the right things and getting some professional help is such a positive step as is the AA meeting tomorrow. Just hang in there..

They sound like great plans @Becky37! I think it’s really good to recognise that you need support. The opposite of addiction is connection. If you get on with AA, remember there are online meetings too. If Friday nights are a trigger, perhaps consider dialling in to one early evening - you don’t have to keep the camera on or speak, so it could burble away in the background. Think of something fun to do on Saturday morning, that you wouldn’t be able/want to do if hungover.

I keep meaning to try SMART meetings - perhaps after you’ve done one, you could report back on what it’s like? I’d be really interested.

How are you this evening @Theweecatsmum?

I keep meaning to try SMART meetings - perhaps after you’ve done one, you could report back on what it’s like? I’d be really interested.

I’ve done a few online SMART meetings and found them a great help and very supportive. There’s a real mixture of people at varying stages of sobriety, but what really helps is the tools they give you to cope with those urges. I would definitely recommend.

A quick shout out to @REP22 - how are things going, and what has Sid been up to? I'm not prying, just wondering if you're ok.

Morning all xxxx
I’ve stayed away for a while as life got a bit hectic and I’m sad to admit I wasn’t completely abstaining. Managed 5 months AF and then 2 and now I’m back again, sadly only Day 2 but I’m showing up and know this group is a good place to be … thank you. I’m hoping for a bit of gentle hand holding and motivation from this wonderful group I’ve missed you.
@Becky37welcome. I think we’re on the same day? I’m now Day 2ni think you might be too.
Im right there with you and good luck for AA . I am doing SMART and find their national meetings great because I can join with my headphones and cook dinner at the same time.
It’s a bit sad but I write a daily mantra too and it’s always really helped me when I’m struggling. My mantra for today is :
“Today I choose me. I choose peace. I choose clarity over chaos, rest over regret.
I’m not racing — I’m healing.
I move gently. I move forward.”
Have a kind day everyone xx

I love that @mumzof4x clarity over chaos.
I remember the chaos.
Chores not done, missing paperwork, piles of ironing (still got those).

@Becky37 it will get easier. I was ill and unemployed so I gave up to help a number of issues. But my weightloss journey was harder. I'd been very fat for twenty years and I woke up one morning and told myself off.
I looked in the mirror and thought who the fuck are you? Bloated, a size 24 and I was ashamed. I'd been a GB athlete, a dancer and pretty good looking. I was also a drunk. I booked for weight loss surgery but my BFF intervened. She bluntly told me it wouldn't work if I kept drinking. I wasn't paying all the cash for it to fail. I'd had enough. That's often the key for addiction.
I now don't drink (but yes I've fallen off the wagon) but if I thought I did or could I'd be lost. I start each day with my commitment not to drink. I've also got some vanity back. I want to look nice, smell nice and do some positive things with my time. A bottle is a sticking plaster. And I was the queen of bore you with my wine knowledge!
Today is a good day. Choose clarity over chaos.

Morning all.
Welcome back @Becky37 and well done for reaching out for support in real life - I hope you make it to the meeting tonight.

And welcome back @mumzof4x - a beautiful mantra, thank you

Good morning shipmates from me and Sid. Thank you for the shout-out @ShyMaryEllen ❤️ - I am OK. Had a rough couple of days on antibiotics but was back to the hospital yesterday and they are pleased with my progress. Happy days.

Welcome back @Becky37 and @mumzof4x - great to se you again. And a belated welcome to @Theweecatsmum and @Sundaymunch - I am so glad you have found us.

Still being good and accounting for my late blip. Sid and I are off to the West Country in a couple of days. So much to keep going for. So we keep going. We shall be steering clear of bogs this time though, hehe.

Strength and courage my brave friends. We are going to make it, you and I. xx

Hello. Im new here and on day one of my journey to a better a life without alcohol. I had a horrible day yesterday and gave in to my addiction. Shame regret and remorse today. All the alcohol is finally out of the house and have spoken to my old sponsor. Im really struggling but I need to do this otherwise I will loose everything. Just saying hello and reaching out. Hope everyone has a good day.

Hello @Freedombeckonsme - welcome to our friendly and safe place; I'm glad you've found us. I've been a member here since 2023, mostly sober since 2019. Currently clambering down off the gangplank of shame after a bit of a relapse. I hear you on the regret, remorse, horribleness and sense of shame. But you've sought us out. There is kindness, acceptance and understanding here, from a whole complement of wonderful shipmates who know what it's like.

Stay awhile and sail with us. It will be alright. xx

Hello @Freedombeckonsme I'm glad you've joined us. This is a really helpful and supportive bunch of people who understand the struggles and want to help. There's no need to feel shame - we know how hard it can be and it's not our fault. Getting the alcohol out of the house and talking to your sponsor is a good first step. I hope you have a good day too.

Hi All
Hello to everyone who has just joined or is back from a hiatus. Thank you for the mantra @mumzof4x. I choose peace AND joy today. I know in my heart that alcohol robs me of joy. It's my head that nudges me by throwing together a medley of 'good times' I've had under the influence. Those good times would have been had anyway.

Tough week at work this week. In the past I would very much be planning a booze Friday. I have booked a spa evening instead!