Continuing support thread for those trying to live an alcohol free life - summer 2025

[Onewildandpreciouslife]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.

The original thread was started by @drybird in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain completely . If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there if that is your aim. That doesn’t mean that none of us has ever slipped, or that you can’t post here if you do - all we ask is that you are genuinely trying to stop drinking alcohol completely.

It’s not easy to be sober, but it is so, so worth it. Your alcohol-free life can be better than you ever dreamed. Come on in.

Ramble away @Lakeviewhouse. I definitely am still struggling with the stretched out time. It was worse to begin with but as I've got used to having so many hours in a day of being completely lucid I'm starting to fill my day with more things. I still can't quite get my head around being able to plan things for an entire weekend and as I said in my earlier post I definitely feel a bit caught out this bank holiday weekend!

Can you do something nice for yourself today? Cook a new recipe? Online class? Just something to focus your mind? You should be so proud. It will get better - this feeling we have is still miles better than the daily numbness and grogginess we were feeling. We just have to remember that.

Husband was out last night with a friend. Both came back late and were drinking late downstairs. I was up (bright and early) and walked in to carnage in the kitchen including non empty ashtrays so it smelt like a 2001 pub. I was annoyed but didn't find it that difficult to just clean up the offending items and get on with my morning. I mentioned it to him when he got up but where before it would have been an argument it was far less emotional. In fact I am finding it much easier to not let things escalate and am on a more even keel. Still, I am grateful for the fact he feels like shit after leaving the kitchen including that state... haven't lost my schadenfreude 😏

Afternoon shipmates.

I went back to sleep today and I'm in my scuffs ready for painting. Just found my Nozeco. Twas in the dinning room.
We're paintng in there today, pre house marketing prep.

I understand filling the time conundrum.
As a house slattern and hoarder there's always stuff to do. However it doesn't mean I'll do it! 😅
I did the dishwasher and started moving stuff out of the dinning room. I ordered some new lampshades as a distraction.
The farmhouse has barns. I'll fill those! I'll see it as a challenge.

When you give up drinking, there are all sorts of physiological changes that take place. I’m no chemist but simply put, your body is working to correct imbalances in neurotransmitters caused by alcohol. As alcohol boosts dopamine, your body is in a low-dopaminergic state and a stress response is triggered (I googled to get the terminology right!). So there are chemical reasons for feeling low. And then there’s all the social/psychological reasons. I imagine leaving your family behind on Sundays would be a huge factor. And it’s the last day of the weekend and the end of freedom before work on Monday. Plus I think nearly always, anyone deciding to stop drinking has reached the conclusion that alcohol is damaging for them in some way, and the former carefree relationship with it has deteriorated. So there’s an element of grieving for the ending of that relationship - not necessarily the alcohol itself, but what it represents. I think it’s really important in early days to allow yourself to grieve, and for the body to do its healing. Ramp up the self care in whatever form that takes - going for a bracing walk, tucking yourself up on the sofa with rubbish TV and a packet of biscuits, anything basically that makes you happy. You don’t have to fill every hour with productive and worthwhile tasks. Be kind to yourself. And as @ShyMaryEllen will say - take thiamine! It’s good for the brain 😁

Ooh @WendyWagon, whilst I’m sure you can fill those barns perfectly well by yourself, I’m more than willing to help you with that challenge! My declutterring is not going quite so well as I’d hoped…

Ones earmarked as a bungalow for my old age but I'm going to offer it to the BFF as a pad now she's left the fascist.
She picks some right arses.
I'll have enough room for a non booze party, we can all come in dark glasses.

@Lakeviewhouse I was going to say that feeling low after giving up drinking is very normal, due to the chemical changes taking place in the brain. But @FaithHopeCarnage explained it all much better than I could. As your body is readjusting, you will miss the short-lived dopamine hit that alcohol provided. But the longer you stick with it, the better your body and brain become at getting their dopamine from other sources. The body gradually heals itself and you can feel pleasure in normal things again.

I usually start to feel mentally better around day 10, and substantially mentally better about a month in. I'm told that if you can stick it out for 100 days and then for six months, you start to notice a real mental change, but it's been years since I've managed to make it that far 😥Anyway don't give up, if you can somehow make it through these long hours by doing nice things for yourself, it will get easier!

@Sundaymunch well done on your six weeks, that's amazing.

@Lavrander I think your schadenfreude is justified 😂

@WendyWagon things sound exciting on the house front. I would totally come to an AF party in your barn!

Had another sea swim today. It was beautiful with the sun glinting off the water.

I think I've gone overboard buying treats at the French supermarkets now (addictive personality much?). We're off home in a few days so I'm going to focus on just eating the massive quantities of food I've already bought 🙄

It's nice though to be getting pleasure from food. When I'm drinking I don't really care about what I'm eating, I'm just entirely focused on my next drink.

I can totally relate to the feeling of having so many hours to fill without drinking. Sundays aren't a problem for me as I'm always out all day walking. But I'm retired so there are sometimes other empty hours. I have plenty of interests and things to do but when you're feeling a bit glum it's sometimes hard to motivate yourself. I've recently started listening to a lot more music and find that's really good for helping my mood, which in turn helps me get started on some project or other. And that also stops me thinking about drinking - and suddenly another day has gone. It all adds up and I'm now on Day 115. It will be 4 months soon.

I have been following these threads for a long time and I remember @LillyPJ when you first started posting. I can’t believe that it’s been 115 days - well done! Goes to show just one day at a time and it soon adds up.

I’ve been reading all your posts and so much sense is here. I’ve been giving up for years and most I got to, quite recently, was 19 days. I’ve got big life changes coming with retirement soon and lots of new hobbies to try. Just have to get health back first. Two days down so far!

I am also a slattern @WendyWagon I just learned the meaning of this yesterday, I'm reading The Sorrow and the Bliss by Meg Mason which mentions the word, book is really enjoyable. I've always been a big reader and that fills up a lot of my booze free time.
Thanks @Onewildandpreciouslife for the encouragement when I was struggling on holidays a few weeks back. Apart from the odd temptation and difficult day with the kids, as you all say here, a holiday without drinking felt like more of a holiday.
I even enjoyed staying up with my relatives drinking my alcohol free beers :)
I've been quiet on here but am lurking and hope everyone is well.
Welcome newcomers, we're all taking it one day at a time and the days start to add up and it's almost like a new life.
I went out for dinner with my partner and some friends earlier in the week and was able to drive home :) it's the little victories.

Morning all.

Terrible night with my joints.
I'm two teas and one shortbread down.
The DH started the painting and I'm banned. He's a brush guy. Not sure I like the colour but I'll live with it. I'm on the roller in the hall today.

The DD found the old labtop from when I had my shops fifteen years ago and immediately took it apart. She got it going, I'm amazed. Old photos appeared including me when I thought I was much slimmer (I wasn't). No evidence of drunken exploits.

My granny was a pianist and she used to say 'you're never lonely if you can play'.
It might work for those seeking to fill time if you're not a knitter or stitcher
They usually give pianos away on marketplace. I'm getting one when I move and putting it in the family room.

Even better than a piano if you're feeling lonely and want to meet people is learning to play something you can play in a group. For example, there are quite a few ukulele bands around, it's easy to learn, they are relatively cheap and don't take up a lot of space. If you want to learn any instrument, I'd recommend getting some lessons - you should avoid picking up bad habits and having lessons is a great motivator to practise. Good luck with the rollering @WendyWagon !

Day 3 and all is well. Eyes a bit better. Yoga this morning 😊

Morning shipmates, and welcome @Theweecatsmum.

I'd forgotten it is a BH weekend (the joys of retirement). We were at the wedding on Saturday and came up to the Lake District yesterday so we could drop off daughter on the way - it took ages. I seem to have spent days in the car.

Today holds no excitement. Husband is going to pick up a click and collect order from Sainsbury's, and that will be the height of the activity, I think. I have some life admin to sort out, but I'll take it slowly. I'm seriously thinking of ordering some Ozempic, but I'm a bit scared - both of injecting myself and possible side effects. A practical question though - the website says it should arrive within 3 working days, but there may be delays because of high demand. We are in the LD, but Husband goes home on Thursday and comes back on Friday, so my plan was to order it today or tomorrow so he can bring it back with him. If it's delayed and he misses it, will it be ok left until next week?

Morning all. I posted on a previous thread just over a year ago following a night with too much to drink and had hit a real low. Had some excellent support here but surprise surprise have been unable to moderate successfully. I went out yesterday & had 2 beers, 2 ciders and a couple of spirit drinks. Although not masses I feel dreadful today & that same suicidal feeling this morning from the fear. After many years of suspecting I’ve recently become aware that I am neurodivergent & that has had a huge impact on how I see things. I’ve realised that I’ve leaned on drinking in social situations for years as a way to calm my anxiety & feel like I ‘belong’, but the following day it seems to amplify my ND traits which I think is why I react so badly emotionally.

Yesterday a friend had a vape with her & although this isn’t something I normally do (I don’t smoke or take drugs etc), I did vape. On reflection this is because I was in a situation I was extremely uncomfortable with from a sensory point of view. I found the vape gave me the buzz that alcohol gave me without the long-lasting effect. I do NOT want this to become my new go-to!!!

I don’t know what I’m looking for really other than a place to check in with others who have been or are on a similar journey for whatever reason. Sometimes it’s good to just express things!! I just don’t want to drink anymore but keep going back to it.

I’m brand new here. Did anyone get medication from GP to help stop?

Welcome @FFSgetagripoldlady and welcome back @southernbelles

I’m not sure if any of our number used medication to stop - hopefully someone will shout if they did.

Out and about with very poor signal- hope everyone copes with the bank holiday OK!

Morning and welcome @southernbellesand @FFSgetagripoldlady
I haven't used any medication but I'm sure I've seen a thread elsewhere about it - albeit obtained privately rather than the GP.

I do think I have to constantly remind myself how badly my attempt at moderation has gone in the past in order to keep the commitment to 'not now or ever'. It's the first thought that creeps back in, but then I remember the feeling of the low and I can cut the craving off before it takes hold. Try writing things down @southernbelles

At the risk of turning this into a WLI thread @ShyMaryElleni would only order it when you can safely know you're there to receive it. Although really it's not so important to go into the fridge until the first jab I like to get into the fridge asap. I've had some great results staying on the lowest dose with minimal to no side effects (not transformational but just enough to focus on healthy eating - not massive low cal).

A productive morning. Long walk and then picked up a few bits from the garden centre. No idea how I'm going to get the damn things into the ground - it's rock solid here. The garden centre has a veg section where they had a load of veg going free so I nabbed some and am going to have an attempt at making my own sauerkraut/ kimchi today .. Further attempts at busying myself!

Glad the eye is a bit better @Theweecatsmum. Well done for getting to day 3!

Hello @southernbelles Just checking in whenever you want or need to is fine - and I've found it really helpful. I don't always post about drinking or not drinking either. It's good just knowing there are other people who've been or are going through the same things.

I didn't ask the GP for help but I often tried to bring the subject up, saying I knew I drank too much and wanted to cut down. I was too ashamed to admit just how much I was drinking and always got the feeling that they weren't really interested or didn't have time. One GP told me I shouldn't drink at all, ever. He might well have been right but it seemed like an unrealistic ideal to me and I got the feeling he wasn't at all sympathetic.

I didn't, but it is considered sensible not to just stop suddenly if you've been drinking a lot, and to cut down gradually instead. Many people find that torturous though, as abstinence ca be much easier than moderation. Having said that, my GP knew I was going to stop and didn't offer m anything, so I'm not sure where the cutoff is for drinking too heavily to stop suddenly. I think the usual help is Librium to take the edge off withdrawal symptoms, but benzodiazepines can be addictive themselves, so I doubt they'd be prescribed for long.

There are also the drugs that make you ill if you drink when taking them, but I suspect they are more often used in residential rehab so people abusing them can be supervised. I think they might be too dangerous to give to people trying to go cold turkey on their own, but I don't know for sure.

Hello, if you mean medication to manage withdrawal, such as librium or diazepam, most GPs will not prescribe. I used to work in this area hahaha. I’d go so far as to say no GP will prescribe anymore, but I can’t be absolutely certain of that. Alcohol withdrawal in someone who is alcohol dependent is too risky to medicate without proper supervision and GPs cannot provide that. I’ve had both librium and diazepam in residential rehab (separate occasions !) - you have to be under a certain limit on the breathalyser, then a reducing dose tapering to zero over 5 to 8 days. I wouldn’t say they were pain free, but the withdrawals were manageable. For someone who is alcohol dependent and who goes cold turkey, withdrawal seizures are a real possibility and can result in death - another reason GPs won’t prescribe!

GPs are also generally reluctant to prescribe ongoing abstinence maintenance medication (such as acamprosate/campral) due to the need for supervision. Likewise disufiram/antabuse, which is the one that makes you violently sick if you drink and is being phased out as it’s damaging to the liver and has an inbuilt design flaw in that it doesn’t work beyond the psychological in terms of managing cravings so if you want to drink, you just stop taking it. Acamprosate can manage cravings once abstinence has been achieved, and naltrexone works to block the pleasure receptors in the brain to reduce the effects of alcohol, and can be used to moderate as opposed to achieving total abstinence.

Local statutory drug and alcohol services are the best bet if you don’t want to go privately. They can prescribe, as part of an ongoing counselling programme and can refer on to NHS funded rehab. However with the cost cutting in the NHS generally, chances of rehab are very slim and waiting times are horrendous. You don’t need a referral from the GP, will be assigned a case worker who can discuss the best course of action. Usually starting with a drinks diary and then a reduction regime over several weeks or months regardless of whether medication is prescribed.

As with most things, the best direction to take is entirely dependent on where you are starting from!

Usual advice: going cold turkey from heavy drinking can be dangerous.

It’s the time of day that I find most difficult. Just a thought in back of head that bottle of wine would do no harm. I won’t give in to it. I might try yet another tactic tomorrow and change my schedule waking at 6am and going to sleep about 9pm. I only find the evenings difficult. It seems so easy until around nowtime. I try so many things. I have just breakfast and dinner with dinner at 4pm. Usually don’t want to drink anything after I have had dinner. Hasn’t worked tonight though. Also, I know it gets easier. I will definitely get to 10 days.

You need to keep it in the fridge.