Continuing support thread for those trying to live an alcohol free life - summer 2025

[Onewildandpreciouslife]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.

The original thread was started by @drybird in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain completely . If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there if that is your aim. That doesn’t mean that none of us has ever slipped, or that you can’t post here if you do - all we ask is that you are genuinely trying to stop drinking alcohol completely.

It’s not easy to be sober, but it is so, so worth it. Your alcohol-free life can be better than you ever dreamed. Come on in.

Hello. Thanks for the replies. Really nice to feel at ease with people who understand where I'm coming from. I got clean from class a stuff back in 2013 so I'm coming from a place of completely understanding what I need to do. I had some sobriety back then too so know I can do it as I have done it before. But I'm finding it so so hard to get acceptance around the alcohol. But I absolutely must do it as my husband will leave and take the kids otherwise. And I cannot let that happen for the sake of a drink. The risk is too high now.

Thank you to everyone for your support and responses. I read them all several times this morning and have taken strength and hope from them.

Feeling like utter crap after a sweaty afternoon nap. But have made a real dent in sorting the house out after the weekends bender.

Going to AA at 7pm tonight locally. And still on track to go to this SMART meeting Friday. I really rate SMART and have been to many meetings previously. Did a three month stint at the Bristol drug project about 10 years ago for alcohol use and they do all their group meetings following SMART.

Day 2 and really grateful for this thread and also that there are others starting again like me. AA can be hard sometimes as a lot of people have been sober for years and It does help to have somewhere where there are people at all stages to relate to and to stand side by side with.

Helps me stay accountable too. This is why I will combine SMART with AA as the combination of techniques and people who attend keep on on the right path.

Scared. Sweaty. Skint. But sober 🙏

I did SMART recovery @Becky37 - it really REALLY helped me, more than other things had done. AA wasn't for me really. It is helpful in different ways for different people, but SMART is what served me best in the end. Good luck with it. x

Hello @Becky37. We chatted ages ago, when I first joined this thread. I haven’t posted in a long time but I read all the comments every day and often think of you. I really hope you take encouragement from all the positive messages here and feel the love and support for you. ❤️

@mumzof4x I am definitely stealing that mantra. Just beautiful. Sober for almost 11 months now and I know I could never have done it without the wisdom, honesty and understanding on this thread. There are still some days I find hard but the longer I don’t drink, the easier it gets and the better my life becomes. You are all amazing. Thank you 🙏🏻

@CarrotSeeds Wow 11 months is not just an achievement but a total lifestyle change. I do remember you and I am really sorry that I dissapeared and am genrally crap at responding on here.

It has been a battle royal of a last few years and the last year especially has been intense on many levels. I have finished my nursing degree now and after royally fallimg off the wagon the past month or so I am ready to face my demons and put everything I have into trying to be sober.

Morning all.

Hello @CarrotSeeds nearly a vet. Well done.

Hospital for me today and then more tidying. I need storage boxes.

Have a good day all.

Morning all.
Lovely to hear from you @CarrotSeeds - 11 months is brilliant work.

Morning all, good to hear from everyone. Welcome back @Becky37 and @mumzof4x it's good to have you back here.

Welcome too to @Freedombeckonsme

Amazing work @CarrotSeeds 🎉🎉🎉

Glad you are feeling better @REP22

We are away staying with family for the last few days of the summer hols (kids back at school on Sunday night).

I have not been back here since the stay that triggered my journey to sobriety almost 15months ago.

I have shared bits and pieces on here but leading up to the night I had become increasingly concerned about my relationship with alcohol and then despite knowing that we were going to be faced with a difficult and stressful conversation, I proceeded to drink far too much and be then be far too honest with our host.

Nothing I said was intentionally cruel or untrue BUT it wasn't something they wanted or were ready (don't think they ever will be) ready to hear.

I almost caused a serious fracture in family relationships which would have had long term consequences for DH and DC.

I am not really sure how I feel about being here especially as I will need to go to dinner and make conversation with the individual on my own tonight (DH and DC have another activity booked).

The thing I am finding increasingly difficult is the general acceptace society seems to have with completely unhealthy levels of drinking..and the total normalisation of what I now believe is a cultural dependency on alcohol.

Can't really verbalise it properly yet, so will put some more thought into it.

Much love and strength to all

IWNDWYT

@EastCoastDamsel I agree about the cultural dependency on alcohol. When I was drinking, I never thought twice about it. I was glad that alcohol featured in every get-together, every celebration, every chance to relax or have fun. Booze was an easy present or the default prize. Look at all the birthday cards making jokes about beer goggles, wine o'clock etc. If you don't drink, people are suspicious or make assumptions. We make excuses for not drinking - I'm driving, I'm on antibiotics, I've got to get up early... It's crazy! At least there seems to be some movement away from alcohol now, with more AF alternatives and young people not drinking as much. But the prevalence and acceptance of alcohol in our society make it really hard to avoid. People talk about 'food noise' and I think 'alcohol noise' is there too.

Good morning shipmates. Another sober morning achieved. Sid is very happy.

I agree with you @EastCoastDamsel and @LillyPJ it's like the person choosing not to drink is now the social pariah. Madness. Sid likes watching those "Traffic Cops", "Police Interceptors" -type programmes. There were two on the episode that we were watching last night who were pulled over by the Rozzers who were so p~ssed that they were literally incapable of standing up. One was clocked at 110mph at one point, driving in his pyjamas and flip-flops. 😬 Scary.

But here we are, choosing to be different, striving to be better. We can do it.

Strength and courage. xx

Checking in and saying good night to you all. Went to AA last night and did most of an online SMART this evening. Will be going to the in person one tomorrow afternoon as well. Worried about Saturday but one day at a time isnt it?!

So gratefull for this community again. I was on the 'I am sober' app for years but it has stopped working now for UK users due to the new online saftey laws coming in so have lost that resource.

👋 Hi everyone,

im fairly new to this group. I’ve had a big issue with alcohol for 21 years since my finance was killed in an accident. I’ve struggled to moderate since then, also lost my DB suddenly due to undiagnosed illness which saw me hit the booze hard.

I'm now on Day 4. I know each time I stop it only takes one drink and I’m back on it harder than ever 😥 I’m ready to fess up and tell the world that I feel ill, I feel sick, I lack energy, I feel tired and depressed. I’ve felt swollen for about a year but already that feels like it’s going down.

I've stalked this forum for sometime and everyone seems so lovely so thought I’d tell a brief version of my story in the hope of support.

Stuff I’ve tried the last few times I’ve tried to cut back-I'm off to buy Rochester ginger tomorrow which tastes a bit like whiskey and ginger over ice. I’m yet to find an acceptable wine. I tried sentia and to me it tasted of envelope glue.

Welcome, @MeAndTheDoggo.

If you've been drinking a lot, please get some Thiamine (Vit B1) as a matter of urgency, and take high doses for 6 weeks or so. You won't overdose on it, and it protects your brain, so it's worth it.

You're not alone when it comes to struggling to moderate. I think most if not all of us on the thread would love to drink moderately, but it's just not an option for us. The good news is that when you get used to it, not drinking at all is much easier than doing so now and again. You never wake up with The Fear, you stop worrying about your health and obsessing about units etc. You start to look better - brighter eyes, healthier skin, and (for the lucky ones) a slimmer body. No more idiotic self-imposed 'rules' to keep within limits - not drinking before six or after ten, not drinking on consecutive nights, only drinking X Y or Z, alternating with water, you know the sort of thing, and none of it works. No more of the things you do that embarrass you to think about, either. Trust me, it's worth it.

Post as often as you like - the more you post, the more you'll get to know us, and the easier it will be to join in. Have you met Sid, our lovely cabin boy and mascot? He will root for you (and all the newbies) as he does for the regulars, and he's a great incentive to keep sober. He sometimes writes poems for us too.

ETA I hope tonight goes/has gone well for you @EastCoastDamsel. x

Just wanted to say welcome from me to @MeAndTheDoggo x
Day 3 for me (almost day 4 !) following a recent wee lapse so right there beside you x
Youll get so much support on here. Wishing you a kind and restful evening.

Welcome @MeAndTheDoggo

Thank you @ShyMaryEllen . We had a lovely evening in in the end. Watched a film together on Netflix so didn't have to make too much conversation 🙂

Thank you!

strangely, although I have been drinking most nights, I haven’t missed it this week. The test is today, tomorrow and Sunday. I could kick myself in that way because why was I drinking those other nights as well. But I can’t turn back the clock now. But I can look forward to less guilt and less tearing myself apart worrying about my health

Welcome @MeAndTheDoggo, I’m new here myself and have found it a great support. Hold tight for the weekend and keep posting or reading if you can.

@ShyMaryEllen your post yesterday evening was so helpful and re-cemented for me why I’m doing this after a very wobbly day. I am so up and down at the moment, feel positive and on top of it one minute and then that sneaky voice starts up trying to convince me that a bottle won’t hurt! Crazy because I wake every morning feeling so grateful that I didn’t drink the night before.

Good morning lovely people. Please may I join? (I have name changed but a long time mnet user.)

I have to stop drinking. I have tried to moderate for the last couple of years and it's been hopeless. I've been a drinker since my teens. I did stop after a health scare 5 years ago and was then sober all through cancer treatment. At the end of that I had to go on steroids for a while and I just went crazy snacking, drinking and bouncing off the walls. And I just carried on drinking.

Dh and I went to a bday dinner last night. One of those occasions when the wine is just on the table and you can just keep filling your glass. Disastrous. I got home and fortunately dh was tired and went straight to bed. I sat in the kitchen and it just hit me. I got up to go upstairs and ended up lying on the living room floor. Then I realised dd wasn't home yet and I thought 'Dd absolutely cannot come home and find me lying drunk on the floor like this'. I managed to get upstairs to the bathroom and was very sick.

It's just got to stop. But it's very hard to fight your own brain. I can't moderate because I want each drink more than the last so if I can't say no to the first I'm lost. As the saying goes: First you take a drink, then you take another drink, then the drink takes you.

Morning all.
I'm late today as my phone wouldn't charge.

Off for a second viewing of the farmhouse later but I have a wee problem. It's haunted!
Big issue apparently. Priest hole that I wasn't shown and everyone pulls out of buying it. Hum.
Some believe, some don't. I'm in the former camp.

Lots of house tidying to do.

Welcome to all the newbies. Ask any questions nothing is off limits re alcohol.

Morning all.
Glad you had a good evening @EastCoastDamsel

Welcome @MeAndTheDoggo and @aterriblefish - I’m glad you’ve found us.

Good morning shipmates. A rainy Friday and I rejoice in it. Even though Sid and I are off on holiday for a week tomorrow, I am glad of it. We are no lovers of the heat.

Welcome @aterriblefish and @MeAndTheDoggo - I am so glad you've found us. This is a great, safe place to be, with wonderful posters and much wisdom, kindness and understanding. I am sorry for your losses @MeAndTheDoggo - it's awful. You must miss them every day, even now. Grief can be a massive trigger. I was well underway with my problem drinking but was beginning to turn the corner towards recovery when my DF died in very sudden, unexpected and tragic circumstances. That, and my M's response to it sent me right over the edge again for a goodly while. It's understandable and nothing to be ashamed of. You're here now, and trying to pull yourself free, and that's what matters. ❤️

The farmhouse sounds more intriguing than ever @WendyWagon - sounds like the sort of place I'd love - very Famous Five, with hidden priest holes and history mystery (I always wanted to be George - Sid is my Timmy). I'm generally a sceptic, but I do believe in ghosts - we have a lot of rural offices in older buildings at work and two of them have ghosts. Both ladies and both been seen by multiple, multiple people over the years in the same manner and doing the same sorts of things. Rational people too, some of them salt-of-the Earth sons of the soil who are the last folk that would be given to making up ghoul stories. One of the ladies is malevolent, the other (who interestingly only started appearing once the old kitchens were renovated, despite being in the garb of several hundred years ago) just seems more of a benign observer. Hopefully your priest (or whoever they are) is more the latter type. If not, I will be happy to come over and "have a word", see what's troubling them and try to help set them free. I hope it doesn't put you off somewhere you might love and be happy.

Cabin Boy/Powder Monkey Sid and I are drifting down to Devon tomorrow. Back in the early 1990s I had a ghostly equine experience on the moor which I don't care to repeat. But there shall be none of that with Sid - just the ghost of bogs and lost phones past to haunt us there these days. Although Dartmoor does have its fair share of good old ghost stories. I used to regale my friends with them every Friday night in the pub - we'd start off with "REP22's Friday Night Ghost Story" and head downhill from there. "The Huntsman's Bloody Bundle" was, I think, the general favourite.

Here's Sid, helping me to pack and making sure I've not forgotten his bumper-pack of Sizzlers.

Strength and courage. It is going to be alright. xx

Good morning all. I am day 3 now and my head is running away with me to future events that are truly irrelevant right now. Im at work today untill late and back in early again tommorow.
I happen to love the famous five so this made me smile. Five on Finnostone farm springs to mind. Haha.
I am finding reading through the posts and watching along very helpful so thanks to all. Hope everyone has a good and strong day.

Brilliant, @Freedombeckonsme congratulations on Day 3 🏆 "Five Run Away Together" was my favourite, Julian was masterful in his abuse of Mr. and Mrs. Stick. I liked Five Go on a Hike Together and the one with the lighthouse as well. Good old Timmy. 😉

Morning everyone.
Bit of a shit day at work today which I knew it would be. Someone asked me how I was and I nearly burst in to tears but held it together. Deep breaths. Going to finish early as I've got a spa evening booked. Everyone is talking about going for drinks but I just don't want the temptation so needed something else.

Hello @MeAndTheDoggo- welcome! Not heard of Rochester ginger. This sounds promising. I couldn't believe how puffed up I must have been with all the drinking. I have a ring that is now too loose on the finger I used to wear it on and it's getting a bit loose on the other hand as well. I can't see it on my face but it must have been there.
Agree with others that moderation is not an option for me. I don't think it is for most people really - it just builds back up to more than before.
Welcome to day 4 @mumzof4x and hello @Freedombeckonsme- it sounds hard on you right now but you have your purpose and that reminder I'm sure will help you through. And soon you'll actually feel the benefits in yourself.
@Becky37it was good to read your update. I hope you get something out of the in person session this afternoon. I don't know if this is just another thing to throw at it as you already have AA but you mentioned an app. I've got a lot out of The Naked Mind app and the associated Alcohol experiment - watching the videos in the morning and journaling. It really helped set my intention which I needed to do first thing every day to start with.
@aterriblefishwelcome. This is a good place to be. Society tells us that alcohol is fun and that it should be easy to moderate but it's addictive and that's just a fact. It's been hopeless for you because it's addictive. It's not you. I hope this doesn't come across as preachy as I was there myself a couple of months ago but do keep posting here. Soon your brain will have blocked out the feeling that you have today and you'll need that reminder of how you feel today and your purpose in order to keep off it.

Lovely to see Sid. He's deserving of those twizzlers. Am off to google those ghost stories and scare myself silly now.

Hello to everyone, old and new! It's lovely to see a thriving community here. It's been so helpful to me, especially for getting through those 'firsts' - first holiday without booze, first night out, first pub visit etc. And right now I'm off to the pub and not feeling trepidatious at all! My childhood was happy but quite restricted (we lived in a tiny village with no buses and miles away from my friends) and I loved the Famous Five books. That kind of freedom and friendship was an impossible dream for me, which is perhaps why I so value my independence now and hate to feel tied down. Happy sober Friday to all!