Continuing support thread for those trying to live an alcohol free life - summer 2025

[Onewildandpreciouslife]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.

The original thread was started by @drybird in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain completely . If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there if that is your aim. That doesn’t mean that none of us has ever slipped, or that you can’t post here if you do - all we ask is that you are genuinely trying to stop drinking alcohol completely.

It’s not easy to be sober, but it is so, so worth it. Your alcohol-free life can be better than you ever dreamed. Come on in.

Hello lads. Slinking back with my tail between my legs. I fell right off the wagon, big time. I feel like absolute sh~t. Sid has taken admirable care of me, but I hate myself for imposing this on him. Sorry I've let you all down. Awful. With love. x

@REP22 ah rep. So sorry to hear this.

I was about to contact you.
No one judges here, you know that. We put one foot in front of the other. X

Good morning all

@REP22 You have not let anyone down, we all know what it is is like, just keep going & don't beat yourself up. Lots of love & strength

You haven't let us down! And I'm really glad you have come back and posted. I think we all know how hard it can be sometimes. I've had a few days of inexplicable cravings - thought they'd disappear after 100+ days but they haven't. Yesterday I was toying with the idea of putting a bottle of wine in the fridge ready for the evening. Maybe I could have a glass or even two? Maybe I wouldn't need to 'confess' on here? It took me a while to talk myself round and knew that I'd be punishing myself, not rewarding myself. I've got people coming over for dinner this week. I'm going to my brother's for dinner at the weekend. I've got a holiday coming up... There are traps everywhere and if I'm feeling down, I'm vulnerable. It's difficult to be strong and vigilant all the time. We do our best. Don't be hard on yourself. And well done, Sid, for looking after you.

Oh @REP22 - you haven’t let anyone down. Life is HARD, and keeps throwing ridiculous things at us, and all we can do is muddle through as best we can. Look after yourself x

@REP22 - you're still way ahead of where you would have been, if you'd kept drinking all along. Self-loathing and self-blame won't help. You're doing really well. Keep going! Keep looking forward!

@REP22You are here, you are still going and that's what matters. I'm glad Sid is taking care of you and if I know Sid you are his world no matter what.
Quoting someone else on here (I'm sorry I can't find it but it stuck with me); you know the rainbows and bunnies and sunshine is still there waiting for you.

Summer does feel hard doesn't it. It's all around. I almost slipped too yesterday I had so many words with myself. I'm thankful I was driving as the usual method of thinking forward, reading my 'why's' just didn't apply when everyone around me seemed to be having so much fun.
Thankful for this thread . It really does keep me going.

Oh, @REP22, I was wondering where you were. Please don't beat yourself up, lovely. We've all been there, and nobody, but nobody is judging you. You haven't let us down, and I'm sure Sid feels likewise.

I was watching a documentary about Matthew Perry earlier (the chap from Friends), and someone said that for an addict it is never over. All the time you are doing all the right things, the addiction is in training for a lapse, doing press-ups and preparing so that it is stronger when it gets a chance to come back.

This is a setback, but not a reversal. My advice, for what it's worth, is to wallow for a bit, then when you feel better, dust yourself off, and get back on board. You will feel achey at first, but you'll soon be shivering timbers, splicing mainbraces and whatnot. And we'll all be here cheering you on. xx

Morning all.
Hope you’re feeling a bit better today @REP22

Managed a reasonable walk yesterday, but probably overdid it slightly. My mental state seems much better though (the two may be related!)

Morning all.

I'm feeling a bit better. Rumpole here keeps all correspondence because I don't trust any f*cker in business. My late mother might have been a challenge but she use to say 'Wendy there are no friends in business' and she was right.
A massive stitch up was on the cards and I've stopped it. Saved my fellow shareholders and I a big legal headache.

I would have approached this in a very different way when I was drinking. I'd have written a stinker and threatened to sue their butts off. Thank God I didn't.

Good morning. Can I join the party please?
My drinking has gone out of control. Drinking wine every evening. Thinking about getting home to my bottle all day. That first mouthfuls is bliss. The taste, the smell, the fact it dulls all my problems.
But now this morning, the headach, the stomach ache, the guilt and the tiredness.
And here I go again, how long until this evening, how will I get through today.
It's non stop. Please support me as I try to stop.

Welcome @Lakeviewhouse!

A bit like raising babies, the days are long but the weeks fly by. Here for you today and thinking of you xxx

Welcome @Lakeviewhouse . I’m glad you’ve posted.

Do you have a plan for this evening? Some people find alcohol free alternatives are helpful in these early days - I used to find it was more about the glass than what was in it.

You will probably also crave sugar - give into that, or anything else you need to do, to avoid taking that first sip.

Many people find reading “quit lit” helpful- The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley, The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray or This Naked Mind by Annie Grace are all good places to start.

And post here as much as you need to. Everyone on this board, whether they are on 3 years or 3 days, has started exactly where you are now. Good luck

Good morning shipmates. THANK YOU, thank you, thank you for your kind support concern and solidarity for me. I have no words sufficient to express how much I appreciate you. Your posts and support made it possible for me to sleep better last night.

I'm not sure what happened really. Work stress I suppose, coupled with a slew of recent funerals for friends who went too early. Plus a recurrence of a low-lying abscess infection that hasn't troubled me since last September. Been bubbling under for a few months, but I ended up ringing the hospital department yesterday morning because it was getting too much - they had me in by 2pm, doing ultrasounds and needle aspirations; sure enough the beast is back, but am now on b~st~rd-strength antibiotics which are already helping. One thing I DO blame, however (and this is a new one for me; these have only recently become available in our local area) is the rise of almost-immediate online grocery delivery companies. Why worry about the consequences of going out drunk to procure some more, when you can order another bottle without even getting out of bed, which a genial Deliveroo/Uber/JustEat driver will bring to your door within 45 minutes...? And thus the descent begins. I mean, obviously, I had to place the order and choose to do it. But it is a great enabler. Not having to face the sadly sympathetic smile of the man in the corner shop, or the bus ride of shame to the Tesco Express, is a handy remover of consequence for the vulnerable. All you have to do is remember to put your pants on for opening the door to the delivery driver and mutter your date of birth. I am entirely to blame of course, but these companies know what they're doing. We're generous and friendly when we want more - we tip well.

But this is my confessional space - god bless you all for it. I know I can speak truth to you and that you will understand. Thank you for listening to me. It is another lesson learned. The deck-swabbing has commenced and I am fighting back. I have restarted my Day 1 on the I Am Sober app and taking accountability for my actions (I can only be really honest on here though; no-one IRL knows how bad it got). Sid knows, of course, and you know - and your continued acceptance of me gives me strength to clean up, dust myself down, and fight back. I will not be defeated by this.

Welcome to @Lakeviewhouse - I'm glad you've found us, though sorry you've caught me at this rather unfortunate point. This is a safe space filled with wonderful people, encouragers of the the very best kind. They find hope and bravery in despair and darkness and I hope you will find that here too.

Here is Sid, snapped by me right in the eye of the storm, doing his best for his mediocre excuse for an owner. His face says more than any barks could. For him then.

Strength and courage. It will be alright. And thank you again - you have made a genuine, positive and lasting difference to this wretched soul. Bless you. xx

Hello @Lakeviewhouse I'm glad you've joined us. I couldn't have managed without this group and still have it in the back of my mind when I'm tempted (which has been annoyingly often recently!) Posting here really helps, as does reading about successes and slips and how others struggle and succeed.

Evening all! Ach @REP22, I’m just catching up from not that long ago and in that time you fell slightly overboard but clambered right back up on deck. Respect! I really admire people who can rein it back in after a short time - I go back out there for months. And you had a full ship’s log of shit to deal with (that has come out sounding rather more unpleasant than I intended), and it’s just so easy to fall back into old coping mechanisms. I’m glad Sid was there to throw the rope and the lifebuoy. He does look a little surprised, I’ll grant you. He will be very happy to have you back, as are we. Bloody dogs - just when you think you can’t beat yourself up any more, they look at you and it’s a knife through the heart. Manipulative little creatures.

Evening all
Welcome @Lakeviewhouse! I was in exactly the same spot as you 50 days ago. At the time it felt so unknown and such a challenge. It is still a challenge but the change from the constant second guessing and wondering what on earth I was going to do that evening, at that function, to this person, has quietened down. I loved the Naked Mind app and the accompanying alcohol experiment (all Annie Grace). It helped things to stick in my mind a lot better and to get over those days where I'd forgotten how bad I felt. As does posting here.

Ah the 'Whooshes', deliveroos etc. All those actions you used to have to make, and therefore all the times you can make an intervention are completely gone. They absolutely know what they're doing. Even now if I have to put my card details in online rather than use Apple Pay it's enough for me to lose interest in whatever crap I've decided I needed in that moment.

Hope you are feeling less remorseful tonight, @REP22.

@Lakeviewhouse and any other newbies, please get some Thiamin (Vit B1) ASAP and take it in high strength doses for 6 weeks or so after your last drink. You can't OD on it as you excrete any excess in alarming orange wee. It can prevent brain damage when you stop drinking. From what I understand this is relatively rare, but can be devastating and irreversible, so for the sake of getting the tabs it is something of a no brainer to take it. Amazon - that other deliverer of unnecessaries - stock it, or it is readily available in health stores and the like.

Morning and ahoy.
Not so great today. Poorly leg and chest pains.

Sadly there is some scullduggery afoot at the beauty company. I shall be making my exit and selling my shares back. Retirement beckons. I can't wait to say no.

Morning All. Day 111 for me. It will be a trial as I have guests coming to dinner and a big glass of wine (or two...) was my usual way to relax before they arrived. It didn't actually help because then I'd forget things and drop things and burn things, but it blurred out the stress for a while. I'm an anxious host. I realised in the night they I've not got enough matching plates, and that I won't have enough room in the fridge for drinks AND puddings, and that the rocket from the garden I planned to use in the salad is too full of holes for guests. It's ridiculous to get so wound up about a few friends coming to dinner, I know. I wish I was more carefree about it - and about life in general. Maybe that's why I resorted to booze in the first place?

Morning!
I get like this too @LillyPJ. I have to be reminded about what the guests actually find to be important. Ie have you gone around someone's house and judged them on non matching plates?
Still doesn't stop me from feeling like I have to scrub every skirting board!
Booze would definitely make me feel in my head like I was this magical bohemian host that "hahaha don't mind the burnt sauce" but really I know I'd wake up the following day feeling like a tw*t so I would take the anxious build up any day over the flash backs.
(In fact thank you for the reminder)
Savour the mic drop @WendyWagon!!

Exactly @Lavrander (And now I'm looking at my skirting boards!) Honestly, if it wasn't for this thread and feeling I'd have to confess, I'm pretty sure I'd have caved in last night and cracked open a bottle. On the positive side, I (mostly) had a brilliant night's sleep (including a dream involving tiny colourful tadpoles that lit up like fireflies) and things seem more manageable this morning.

@LillyPJ I'm an anxious host too and stopped having people round because the house was in such a state and I was too busy to redecorate, deep-clean or tidy up.

I've started just closing some of the doors, doing emergency blitzes, and accepting that it's scruffy. Guests don't care so long as there's plenty to eat and they feel accepted and welcome.

I would be so, so impressed at home-grown rocket - so long as it's well-washed I wouldn't give a damn about the holes. The holes prove that it's not shop-bought! And it will taste so good compared with Tesco bagged rocket!

It is hard though if you're a perfectionist. It feels a bit like the days when I've run out of matching socks and have to make myself wear mismatching ones, even though they don't show.

Morning shipmates, continuing to feel better, though still angry at myself and well aware that all possible consequences have not yet been fully dodged. There is so much at stake if we don't mend our ways, driving licence, job, home, family, health. Everything, really. All because of a nasty enchantress in a bottle. Madness. It's very very cruel. But we're here because we are strong enough. We can and ARE pulling ourselves free. Doing the best we can together.

Thank you for your words of encouragement @FaithHopeCarnage - lovely to hear from you. I hate that Sid has had to see me in that state again. I'm determined not to betray his trust again. I would gladly and willingly die for him. So why should I not also be prepared to LIVE for him instead? That is what I'm going to try to do.

I'm so sorry things are not so great @WendyWagon - those insidious weasels do not deserve a smart, savvy and classy asset like you. Bin them off and leave them floundering in your elegant gorgeous wake, where they can drift off out to sea with all the other turds from leaking sewer-outflows. All power to you.

@ShyMaryEllen is right about the Thiamine; it can be very beneficial. I've heard that St. John's Wort can be helpful for other bodily recovery encouragement, but our local Holland and Barratt can be a scary place, so I rarely venture in.

Hope all goes well with your dinner @LillyPJ - it will be lovely. I understand how anxiety-inducing it all is. The sober you and the meal you've prepared with love for them is what your friends are wanting to enjoy with you. Rocket from the garden sounds delicious - much nicer than bagged salad (which also has holes in it IME) - you could always tear it into pieces; shredded rocket garnish is perfectly acceptable. I love home-grown veg, but could wilt a plastic cactus with my horticultural ineptitude, so it remains a distant dream for my jaded palette.

I took Sid for a special treat to his favourite river walk yesterday evening, where he likes the doggy dip. His sometime nemesis, Parsnip the cat, told him that if he examines the water carefully, he might see a brood of chickens swimming by,

Strength and courage my friends. We are going to make it. It will be alright soon. xx