Continuing support thread for those trying to live an alcohol free life - summer 2025

[Onewildandpreciouslife]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.

The original thread was started by @drybird in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain completely . If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there if that is your aim. That doesn’t mean that none of us has ever slipped, or that you can’t post here if you do - all we ask is that you are genuinely trying to stop drinking alcohol completely.

It’s not easy to be sober, but it is so, so worth it. Your alcohol-free life can be better than you ever dreamed. Come on in.

Ahoy fabulous sober sisters .

Thank you for all your kind messages. I appreciate your warm words. I will keep posting 💕

I will not drink today.

I have lit a joss stick for you @Onewildandpreciouslife and asked the blue budda to give you good health.

Today I will be thinking of the family that use to live in the same house that we lived in , in the far east. During the second world war the Japanese took the family and staff into the back garden and killed them all.
I am grateful to have the life I have.

Sending calmness and solidarity in the pursuit of improving our lives 🧜‍♀️

A sad anniversary. I didn't learn anything about the Eastern Front or the Pacific War at school. It's understandable of course that it was a bit Britain-centric - the Home Front, the Blitz, Battle of Britain, Dunkirk, Anderson shelters, rationing. The scale and horror of it was just too much for school history.

Hi everyone

I won't drink today.

Feeling a bit low for no particular reason. Thank you for the reminders to be grateful. I'm grateful my sisters who have made me laugh today, and I'll do my best to think of some more.

Sending love and health to @Onewildandpreciouslife. 6 months! I can't even imagine how long the list could be on the NHS then. Mad.

And to everyone else on this thread whether posting or reading, you've got this x

Nearly at the end of day 9!
A lovely day today and my first real test.

Went out to lunch with my husband and a friend to celebrate her divorce being finalised. Both of them had prosecco and cocktails, I had AF beer and a mocktail and I didn’t feel deprived AT ALL. This afternoon I’d normally eat a ton of toast to ‘soak it up’ and probably end up falling asleep in a wine soaked haze; instead of which I’ve been alert and busy and went to sort out another friends horses for her.

I think drinking and overeating go hand in hand for me - it’s been so nice to enjoy a lovely lunch and still enjoy the rest of the day ☺️

Sounds like a great day @TheSoberNoodle

Yesss well done @TheSoberNoodle!

That's a change I've noticed too - my over eating has substantially reduced. I also love the fact that the following day isn't a write off. In fact that's one of the things I'm really struggling to get my head around..
It's my Birthday today. Already received two bottles of wine and messages re wine in the work card. At some point I'm going to have to make clear that I don't drink to people.
The day is very much stretched ahead of me but I've decided that I'd like to go into town for lunch and then go for a splurge in boots and have a pamper.

Happy birthday @Lavrander. Hope you have a really lovely day 🎂

Good morning all.
Happy birthday @Lavrander
I'm always here to encourage a good splurge on cosmetics.

I'm much calmer today. I hate the unknown and being a saggi I hate being lied to. Tell me the facts and I'll sort it is my motto. So the legal matter rumbles on.

I've sent for a sample of aged sandstone for the floors at the townhouse. I think even with the listing nothing is mentioned re the 1980s floors. If I can change them I can ensure I don't trip up. Room for a stanah too. Ooh the glamour!

No guests this weekend.

Morning all.
Happy birthday @Lavrander !!
It’s funny isn’t it - I feel this constant need to “fill” time, but when I was drinking I could lose a whole day to the after effects. But that just felt like survival!

I’m having to slow down to recover from the op, and it’s not sitting well with me!

I really, really wanted to drink yesterday to escape from my head, but I haven’t come this far to only come this far.

Uncertainty is a killer @WendyWagon - enjoy having a quiet house

Happy birthday @Lavrander ! I'll need to publicize my not drinking before my birthday and Christmas. Wine was always the first present to get me. More chocolate and jigsaws now I guess. Today I'll be putting up some shelves and getting my eyes tested - perhaps I should do them the other way round? Wish me luck for both!

Happy Birthday @Lavrander, hope you have a lovely day!

Still love reading this thread for comfort and inspiration, though I don't post much. I started being AF on the 1st Jan so over 7 months now.

Keep going everyone, it is worth it!

Hello and thanks for posting. I love to hear from people who've been AF longer than I have (about 3 and a half months) because it motivates me to carry on. I think 'If they can do it, so can I!' I already know it's worth it but I don't want to let my guard down. It would be so easy to get complacent and I don't want to get lured in again.

Bad night and morning after dinner in a pub....

It was Lucky Saint! So I think it's an intolerance to what I ate. I'm groggy & overslept. But now I know what wasn't the cause 😄 when in the past I would have blamed the beer, and felt ashamed and depressed.

Life's too short to feel like this so I won't be eating that meal again - a shame because it's delicious and the go-to place for celebrations. But I can have the salad. The same principle as for the drinkies!

I understand you wanting to get away from your thoughts, @Onewildandpreciouslife. Do you know when the results will be available?

Happy birthday @Lavrander, I hope you enjoy your day and are able to do exactly what you like!

Glad you're feeling better today @WendyWagon. Rows with DH are always a major drinking trigger for me.

Well done @TheSoberNoodle at weathering your night out!

@mermadeincornwall what a tragic story. I'm reading a Booker longlisted novel right now called Flashlight by Susan Choi, about a boy born in Japan to Korean parents. Parts of it are about how Japan colonised Korea during WW2, and about North Korea's cruel treatment after the war of the Koreans who returned after living in Japan. It's a part of history that I know very little about. I'm very impressed by the novel so far.

@taylorean I've had similar experiences to you in that it feels very unjust to wake up poorly after a sober night out, ha! Given we know it can't be a hangover.

@Onewildandpreciouslife sending all my good thoughts to you. I hope you're not stuck too long in this limbo of waiting for news. It's not easy by any standards 💐

Thanks to those of you who shared stories about your teenage and YA children and their attitudes toward alcohol. Interesting. I guess they just have to negotiate their own relationship with it. We did talk to DS2 and it went all right, if not brilliantly. He seems very contrite and insists he won't drink again (not in the near future anyway). However, he wouldn't tell us anything about who he was with or what he drank. Was very loyal to his friends. I ended up taking a kind of harm minimisation approach: eg do NOT get in the river if you've been drinking, ring us and ask for help if you or your friends find yourselves vulnerable in any way, you won't get in trouble because it's your safety that matters above anything else.

We're off on holiday tomorrow. I'm sure it will be great once we're there but at the moment I have pre-holiday anxiety, and a to-do list a mile long. The anxiety is not helped by the fact that we just discovered DS1's passport has been through the wash in his jeans pocket 😥My fault as I was doing the pre-holiday washing with too much enthusiasm. All the pages are wet but still legible so here's hoping. ARGH.

Wishing you all a strong sober weekend.

Thanks all. End of this week probably. I was due to go on a “bucket list” type trip in a couple of weeks (don’t want to be too outing) and that’s all up in the air now.

Damn @Onewildandpreciouslife that is so frustrating! Really really hope you're still able to go on the trip.

Water-soaked passport looks like it will probably be OK but it's made me go from feeling I was reasonably on top of things to feeling chaotic. Never mind... the cat care is sorted so that's the major thing.

Number one priority for this holiday is not to drink. Looking forward to the hum of cicadas and the smell of sea air.

@Onewildandpreciouslife go on your trip if you can.
I started a bucket list in January when I had my bad news.
I've not achieved much on it but I hope I can.
My mother used to say you might get run over by a bus (so wear good knickers) . My BFF says the past is the past and you don't live there. Both sound reasons for carpe diem.

Morning all.
Just ploughing through this weekend.

Tough when you're stressed.

Morning all.
Sometimes just ploughing on is the best we can do @WendyWagon - keep going

Keep going @WendyWagon. Nothing lasts forever, good or bad 🤗

Further progress: I went out last night to a concert, with a fellow soberista.

There was a truly excellent selection of alcohol-free beers at the venue and at the bars we hit afterwards. I woke at 8 this morning feeling great!

It's not quite the promised bunnies in meadows, because I was tired and not very motivated to go. But I'm so glad now that I did. I guess we need to make promises to ourselves, and to keep them.

That sounds great @taylorean. It really helps that there are so many AF options available now. I seem to remember there being just one AF beer 30 or 40 years ago when I had a non-drinking boyfriend. He used to tell me he enjoyed himself just as much as us drinkers but I don't think I really believed him back then.

Morning all.
These little wins all add up @taylorean . I was pleasantly surprised to find an AF gin at the theatre on Saturday

Morning all

Enjoy your holiday @elusivehope. Hope the passport was alright in the end. Also hope this week is okay for you @Onewildandpreciouslife. It's awful the wait but you cannot control that part so focus on the things you can.
Great progress @taylorean! My friend had an AF boyfriend back at uni that we all thought was boring/ weird. We just couldn't understand why he didn't drink even though he had the best answer to the question which was just to shrug and say 'tried it once, didn't like it' and leave it there. It actually blows my mind that it's such a spot on answer. 15 year old me 'tried it, didn't like it, but stuck at it until I did.' She's married to him now with almost grown up children. I wonder how boring he must have found all of us!