Continuing support thread for those trying to live an alcohol free life - summer 2025

[Onewildandpreciouslife]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.

The original thread was started by @drybird in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain completely . If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there if that is your aim. That doesn’t mean that none of us has ever slipped, or that you can’t post here if you do - all we ask is that you are genuinely trying to stop drinking alcohol completely.

It’s not easy to be sober, but it is so, so worth it. Your alcohol-free life can be better than you ever dreamed. Come on in.

Hello @BatFeminist ! It's always good to see someone joining the thread, so welcome. I've said before that it feels like a team to me with everyone helping each other, whether they've just started or been AF for years. Some of us have had similar fears about holidays and nights out with drinking friends, and then it's turned out to be fine - and better without drinking. You've done 2 days already and that's a big achievement. I found that actually getting round to Day 1 was the hardest part - it took me years to take that step! So well done, and keep posting on here if you can. I hope Day 3 goes well.

It's Day 100 for me! I thought I ought to wait until tomorrow to post in order to say I'd completed 100 days, but that felt a bit anticlimactic so I'm announcing it today. (I'm pretty confident I won't screw it up tonight.) I'm astonished I got this far and feel proud and happy about it. I've saved money, lost at least half a stone and gained loads of lovely sleep - win, win, win. In fact, I don't think there has been anything negative about stopping. It's just frightening to think how much of a hold alcohol had on me and how difficult it was to shake it off. I don't intend to drink again but I do wonder what it would be like, and if I ever will - and if I do, will I be able to have just the occasional one? It's a shame alcohol is so prevalent in our society and that there is so much positive publicity about it, but it does seem that there is a bit of a push towards AF now, which has helped me a lot - as has everyone on this thread too, of course. Thanks!

Oh @REP22I do love Sid. My Spaniel (Charlie) gets a LOT of attention from other dogs. I imagine they would make a well matched couple.
Well done @WendyWagonyou should be proud. And I'm like the sound of your DS's potential house. I'm picturing some sheep skin rugs in assorted colours??
Welcome @BatFeminist. I had all your thoughts and musings only a few weeks ago so this is really resonating. Friendships have not ended so far but I think most people expect this to be short term so we'll see how it goes when they realise they've not seen me drink forever. Like you just taking it an experience at a time.
Congratulations @LillyPJthat's absolutely fantastic. It's mad how prevalent it is and how much normal life we have to say no in or seek an alternative. I can't actually think of any other 'thing' in life that just has become a natural accompaniment to all occasions.
Went fine with my dad @whichdayisit- I wish alcohol wasn't such a big part of his day but to be fair to him he only had about 3/4 a bottle when he got here but I think that's because I didn't have any more in the fridge and I hadn't told him there was any more about. We were all in bed by 9 and he had a long drive ahead. Still the usual of having to repeat everything I'd said to him the last time I'd seen him which is again rather sad. But.. it does help me stay sober. I don't want to be like that and one of my reasons for stopping was that I'd felt it start to take a similar hold.
Saturday is stretching out ahead of me but DH has bought cake back from the bakery. Cup of tea and then I have a mission to get to the bottom of the laundry basket at the same time as tackling the hedge.

Well done @LillyPJ 100 day shipmate

Well done @LillyPJ and to the rest of you fabulous ladies here. I'm on my first sober holidays with the kids and it's been challenging.

Congratulations on 100 days @LillyPJ 👏🥳👏. So glad you’re feeling all the benefits!!

Welcome @BatFeminist - taking it one challenge at a time is a wise approach

Good to hear from you @Teaforthetotal - sober holidays ARE challenging- I’ve just done my fourth sober foreign holiday and they get easier but there are still tricky moments. Remember - we can do hard things. Hang in there - it will be worth it

Hi everyone, I'd like to join you all on HMS Sober please?

I've been on and around Mumsnet for around 20 years but deleted my account some time ago as my kids are now adults! I'm rejoining specifically for this thread.
After about 4 years of knowing that I need to go AF and trying with varying degrees of success, I'm hoping that a bit of group support will get me through the rough patches. I'm what's referred to as a grey area drinker - not alcohol dependant, but I can't just have one and having gone through menopause find it just makes me feel awful for days after. I'm also trying to loose some weight I've gained over the last two years and have been doing ok until I have a drink - then it all goes to pot.
So. Day 3 today, feeling tired and craving crisps but otherwise determined that this will be the last day 3 I ever have to do.

Welcome aboard @TheSoberNoodle . Freedom awaits!

Getting the pom poms out for @LillyPJ!! Congratulations on your 100 days, well done you. It’s been great following your journey to this point. I hope you have a thumping great AF martini with frozen orange slice to celebrate 😁

ETA keep going, the dark days are well behind you and the sunlit uplands are here

@FaithHopeCarnage Thanks! And yes, I've got the Martini, ice and slice right here. Cheers!

@LillyPJ 10 days is a fantastic achievement. You really are an inspiration.

thank you for the welcomes, it is reassuring to know others have the same thoughts as I’ve not told anyone in real life as yet.

we ate in an unlicensed cafe this evening so no cocktails were on offer. However was in a shop in Covent Garden earlier where glasses of Prosecco were on offer. Felt secretly proud for refusing but I did find my thoughts turning to alcohol for much of the afternoon. I’m not sure I thought about it this much before but probably that is because I already would have known I’d be drinking at some point?

@Becky37 hope your sober holiday is going well; I'd love to go to Helsinki!

@Lavrander thanks so much for the Rock the Housework rec; I'll check it out. The way I clean the house is as dysfunctional as everything else in my life, ha. I don't get started for ages and then when I finally do get started, I clean one small area in a very perfectionistic way (I think it may have to do with ADHD and hyperfocus). It's kind of a family joke. When we have guests, my DH usually comes to the rescue by blitzing through the whole house and making it look decent. I on the other hand will have cleaned one room max, after many hours of effort 🙄

@whichdayisit I know just what you mean about managing to do a whole event sober and then buying booze on the way home! I've done that at many a uni work event. Hope your meal tonight went well. BTW your partner does sound lovely. Mine is too; I'm lucky to have him. That's one thing in my life I've done right!

@REP22 you're increasing my vocabulary with terms like 'fraternity of dodgy butchers' 😂

@WendyWagon bon courage in your noble fray with the dastardly estate agents. Maybe you should channel Lady Macbeth: 'Come to my woman's breasts, / And take my milk for gall, you murdering ministers'! OK, maybe I'm getting a little carried away...

Welcome @BatFeminist, it sounds like we have a fair bit in common: drinking for work stress, anxiety, addictive personality... I tick all those boxes too. I can say that after a month of not drinking, my anxiety is so much more manageable, it's amazing. So hang in there!

And welcome too to @TheSoberNoodle. The early days are always the hardest; you're doing great to be on day 3.

@LillyPJ That is amazing about day 100! You're an inspiration ❤I always enjoy reading your posts on this thread.

I had another day of feeling 'down' yesterday for no reason. Struggled through two social events (morning coffee with a friend, evening drinks party at a neighbour's). I didn't feel like drinking though, so that was a plus.

Woke up this morning feeling much better. Did some novel-reading and even tidied DS2's bedroom while he was out at one of his numerous social gatherings. Have really enjoyed having a quiet, antisocial day at home.

BTW @whichdayisit I meant to say I noticed your DC have the same age gap as mine: 6 years. They're 14 and 20 now. The timing meant I did have to go through primary school in sequence twice (!) but they get along with each other remarkably well, and I suspect it's because of the big age gap. Personality-wise, they're like chalk and cheese, but they really adore each other (most of the time anyway), which is a nice change from the sibling warfare that characterised my own childhood. Anyway, I hope you're similarly lucky, and that you survive these clingy 'velcro' days!

A big thing I'm noticing still is how much less reactive I am when DH or the DC annoy me. The house is just far more peaceful. I really need to stay on this ship.

Ahoy and welcome to @TheSoberNoodle

Ive been around for 3 years 7 months and it does get easier.
When I started I never expected to last three months but my God at a hundred days I felt fantastic. Clear eyed and happy. I even walked away from a major employment fight because I had got my self respect back.
I can't tell you when I started losing weight but not scoffing cheese or crisps made all the difference. I used to drink wine and eat cheese. I did partake of a stinky brie yesterday but it was tiny bits as I have to cut off the rind- doctors orders.
My journey hasn't been straight forward but I've kept going through house moves, bereavement, toxic work places and serious illness.
I will always be a recovering alcoholic (not everyone uses that term) but I'm able to talk about it calmly (the DS asked me not to go back to the booze last week) he knew I was sorely tempted due to the legal matter. But you know I repeated the serenity prayer and it calmed me. Thank you to whoever quoted that the other week.🙏
And a friend said I was beautiful this week and it made me cry. When you had a mother who played silly buggers with your confidence you always feel lacking.

You are strong women to try to go against the grape. Be proud of every day sober. It'll be worth it I promise.

Well lads I've just done a search and found my first AF post.

The thread was being held by bunnies but I need to thank the following @Onewildandpreciouslife
@kindtomyself and @adm1010 (who writes like one of our current number). What great early advice to a poor old soak.

I feel like the game has changed but there are a lot of the same worries, I just handle them differently. Better I hope!

Ah @WendyWagon - we’ve come a long way!

200 days for me today! A little thinner, a little wiser, slightly brighter skin, and much kinder, nicer and happier!

Prouder than when I passed my driving test on the fifth attempt 😁

Cheers!

Hi thanks for the shoutout

Not posted or read for a while but I am now coming up to 4 years AF in september

best thing I ever did

keep on going xxxx

Congratulations @taylorean !! 👏👏👏👏

Congratulations @taylorean!! Wahoo!!

I've definitely found myself to be much kinder too since being sober. I used to think it was my husband being an arse but annoyingly I now realise a lot of it was me being snappy and irritable. As you said @elusivehope- the house is much more peaceful as a result.
Welcome @TheSoberNoodle. Be kind to yourself. If you need to scoff some crisps or anything sugary to help curb the cravings - do it. Once they've passed an you've got a bit of energy back you can focus on the food.

Congratulations @taylorean and all those showing that what seems impossible is achievable

Sorry thanks to @touty and @blackberryblossom too.

Big congrats @taylorean

Amazing @tayloreanthat must feel incredible.

I’m on day 4 today. Had some horrible dreams last night, really unsettling and left me feeling jangly and edgy all morning. Have done some digging and mowing in the garden, planted a few plants out that I’d ordered earlier in the week and now feeling a bit better. I want the pink fluffy stuff, not horrible aggy dreams!

Tomorrow I’m going to start watching what I eat. No more crap. I’m determined to look and feel better and live a healthier life from now on.

Congratulations @taylorean 200 days is fantastic! And well done @TheSoberNoodle - those first few days can be tough and you'll soon start to see the benefits.

Thanks all!

Moral support to people in their first few days. I remember that first couple of weeks being a bit intense, like the start of any big new project - I went to bed early, read a lot of quit lit, ate lots of sour sweets. But things settled down quickly after that.

You'll get there. Keep going!