Continuing support thread for those trying to live an alcohol free life - summer 2025

[Onewildandpreciouslife]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.

The original thread was started by @drybird in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain completely . If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there if that is your aim. That doesn’t mean that none of us has ever slipped, or that you can’t post here if you do - all we ask is that you are genuinely trying to stop drinking alcohol completely.

It’s not easy to be sober, but it is so, so worth it. Your alcohol-free life can be better than you ever dreamed. Come on in.

I forgot to congratulate you Cuddles on your two weeks!

@taylorean , I hear you! Bravo on making it to the end of the academic year. I hope you can get some rest now 💐

I recommend as many lie-ins as possible, and binge watching netflix!

Morning all.
Went out for a meal last night and ordered an AF gin, that turned out not to be AF when it arrived! Two mouthfuls and I thought hmmm not sure about this, so double-checked and sure enough they’d brought me the wrong one. So annoying but no harm done.

I'd be really annoyed about that! A friend has been trying to persuade me to try a new (alcoholic) drink she's discovered. Apparently it's wonderful and not very strong, and I have been tempted to have a sip but then that would destroy my dry streak. I'm getting close to my 100 day target now and I'd hate to spoil it. I'd also be scared in case it lures me back in again but it sounds like you're perfectly safe! When you got your AF gin, was it ok?

Morning all.

The DH and I had fish and chips last night and it cheered me up no end. We have two sets of house guests for the next ten days so we got it in quick.

I might pop to waitrose for some treats but I'm not paying for everyone to scoff takeaway on my dollar (all adults, all a bit tight bar the DD).
I could do with a bottle of Gordon's af as I gave the last one to my cousin. I doubt she tried it.

I'm still waiting to hear re the cottage. We'll be going to the market in the next month or so. I hate the fact that we have to tidy every day. I'm great at cooking but rubbish at housekeeping.
Estate agents make you feel a right dirty Girty unless you are show home ready.

Oh yeah Wendy, the estate agents want you to put the work in to make their jobs easier... I hated that feeling of being 'visitor ready' when we sold our last place, but I was so keen to get out that I paid the price and did it...

In other news, have a horrid feeling that my Graves Disease (over-active thyroid autoimmune thingie) is kicking off again... the timescale is right, we had a very stressful month in April which can trigger it three months later... but at least it would be an explanation for feeling 'tired but wired' with a lump in my throat and sweating and gut issues and rilly rilly anxious... 😫

Alcohol is supposed to be protective, but my brother also has GD and he drinks like an old county squire... besides which, I was drinking, yet feeling so foul when I drank that I think my body was trying to tell me to stop...

Will see if it's just passing anxiety and me being a ninny... should probably pop to the GP next week... Meanwhile, alc-free will be conducive to the calm, replenishing conditions I need to stave it off... 🤞

Hello shipmates!

Sid and I are safely back from holiday. No tangles with His Majesty's Armed Forces and chickens in bras this time around, fortunately, though Sid did fall bodily into a well-concealed bog and I had to lie down on my ample belly to haul him out. He thought that was brilliant. 🙄 Awful, awful journeys there and back though. Big accident on the A303 sent us all around the villages this afternoon in very high heat. Had to stop in the end at the closest services to sponge him down and give him a big bowl of water. I didn't want to be rude and let him sup alone, so I did the only right and proper thing and revictualled myself at MaccyD's. Just to be sociable, you understand.

I'd have been livid about that non-AF gin @Onewildandpreciouslife - glad no lasting harm was done. Staff really should appreciate that if someone specifically asks for an AF version of a more-commonly alcoholic option, then Heed should be Paid. One sip could be enough to send someone in recovery over the edge. I am glad your strength and resolve prevailed. 🏋️‍♀️

Sid knows that he is on deck-swabbing duties as of now, but his energetic walking holiday has got the better of him. I fear the decks may go unswabbed this night. Sincere apologies. Here he is, dozing off after his lovely holiday. And definitely not from watching his favourite "Police Interceptors", back to back episodes, on the big holiday telly until stupid o'clock. Definitely not that, no.

Strength and courage. xx

Hello everyone! I hope you are all doing well. I posted here about 3 years ago I think when I did 7 or 8 months AF. It was great. I went back but I just slipped back into it with a holiday. Since that I did a month or two here and there. I liked a couple of glasses of wine a few nights a week, nothing major and no big incidents or dramas with it except the space moderating takes up in my mind. I've an extremely busy life, some worries and need all the energy I can get. I felt drinking was taking away my potential to manage my life better and get more from life.

I can remember so many amazing posts here cheering us on. Drybird, blackberry (?) And I specifically remember a poster I resonated with who didn't have any big issues with alcohol but quit and was so clear on how much she gained, I think the name was 'fried food'. I must figure out how to search people here.

Anyway I'm back AF and feeling good. I'm on holidays and drifted back here for inspiration. I'm day 222.

And can I just say on holidays... the mornings! The mornings! Total silence in the house, coffee, half way through a book, nice walk.... as a full time working mother of four this is golden. Holidays are a bit of hard work as a mother no matter what but I am not pouring toxins over the good work a break does for your mental health!

@Onewildandpreciouslife that's terrible about the gin! Very irresponsible on the restaurant's part. I'm glad you weathered the experience without being too unsettled by it.

@WendyWagon keeping the house show-home tidy every day is my idea of a nightmare! And two sets of houseguests on top of that... Good luck with it all.

Sympathy re the GD @CuddlesKovinsky . At least you know that by not drinking, you're being kind to your body. A friend of mine has GD and it made her very ill until she finally got a proper diagnosis.

@REP22 that's a brilliant photo of Sid, bless him. He looks so peaceful. I'm always happy when my cat is dozing off in close proximity to me; it feels very calming to be close to a sleeping animal.

Hello @Cartooner 222 days is amazing. Your holidays sound blissful.

I've had a happier day today, even though I almost went to the supermarket to get wine at one point. I just get these strong impulses. Fortunately my app on my phone flashed up congratulating me on being sober for 21 days, and that was enough to put me off. I haven't had 21 days alcohol-free for a long time.

DC2 picked blackberries in our back garden (a bonus of having a very neglected back garden) and I made a pie. I haven't made a blackberry pie in years. The combination of not drinking and not being utterly exhausted is clearly making me do some unusual things!

I also went to a protest about Gaza in the city centre, saw a lot of friends and neighbours there, and banged a pot.

It's nice to collapse into bed with no headache, feeling virtuous.

Welcome back from hols @REP22 . We go today. Long long drive uptown Scotland from south west. Hopefully opposite to everyone else

Welcome back @Cartooner , and congratulations on your 222 days. Sober holidays are magic, aren’t they?

21 days @elusivehope ?! That is brilliant work!

Welcome back from holidays @REP22

Good luck on your long journey @March2027

I hope your house guests are OK @WendyWagon - I am not good with people in my space, so you have my sympathy!

The gin thing was weird- it was the feel of the alcohol in my mouth that told me it wasn’t right. I usually find the smell of alcohol really obvious but I guess this was massively diluted by the tonic.

Your friend sounds like she’s being painful @LillyPJ (if she knows you’re deliberately not drinking alcohol). For myself, I don’t regard 2 accidental gulps of gin as breaking my streak but I would have been much more bothered in the early days

@Onewildandpreciouslife My friend doesn't know I'm deliberately avoiding alcohol so she had the best of intentions and was just being kind.I haven't told anybody I've stopped drinking (apart from you lot on here!) partly because they didn't know how much I drank anyway. But if I had announced it, I wonder if I'd have had more people trying to persuade me to have 'just one' or telling me it wouldn't do any harm?

You're right about alcohol feeling different - somehow thicker, even when it's just beer. Maybe that's why I find AF drinks with fizz more acceptable as it disguises the different feel.

Morning everyone and welcome back from holiday @REP22and Sid. Tell Sid I'm also a fan of Police Interceptors. I also series record Traffic Cops if he is looking for other recommendations.
My mind is still being blown at not having hangovers over the weekend. I hadn't realised how much I used to plan my mornings and days on how crap I'd be feeling. This weekend have plans both days and my brain keeps telling me that I shouldn't be doing that as I won't feel well enough but it's lovely to tell brain so shut up as I'm going to feel tip top. Probably as I'm going to a BBQ today and in the past there is no way I'd be able to make plans on a Sunday.
Well done @elusivehopeon keeping going. I have the same feeling of cravings but remind myself that it's fading affect bias and also try to 'feel' that anxiety/ stress I was getting. I find it really helps.
Also livid for you @Onewildandpreciouslife. I hope the rest of the meal was nice!
@WendyWagonwhen I was selling my house I had three big boxes I would run around and fill up and then throw them in the car. I'd have to sort it out afterwards but felt less of a job then.
@CuddlesKovinskyam sorry you're not feeling well. Hopefully laying off the booze helps it from being much worse.
Hello @Cartoonerit's really inspiring to hear you've gone 222 days!
@LillyPJI also have a stockpile of wine but that's because I forgot to cancel my Naked Wine order. I'm going to look very generous at the BBQ today.
Well... I'm off to do Park Run now. Can't quite believe it.

You all sound like you are feeling the benefits. It is lovely to meet you all. Honestly I drank enough for it to make big difference to me, and I probably stayed within recommendations most weeks and I think there's a lot more to gain quitting entirely than moderating for my personality type. I've done Christmas AF twice (it was better), holiday now AF (better), girls weekend AF was fine, organised myself a massage, friends not big drinkers and one was also AF due to anxiety and she barely drinks.

I haven't shared it much, I can't be bothered telling people and the conversation about it and people saying why???. My mother was here with me on hols for a week and she enjoys a glass of wine and said are you not having one, I said I'm addicted to the morning gains and that was the end of the discussion, I had AF beer and we had lovely sunny evening chats. Although she did say you're great and that she regrets having hangovers with kids and I siad I'm not doing this to be super virtuous/aiming for perfection....I'm just feeling better without it and without thinking about it.

As I said above I was here 3 years ago already so clearly alcohol taking up too much space in my head. My father nearly died from it in his 40s!

Morning all. I'm up late due to the DH waking in the night.

I was trying to avoid the hose pipe police. I'm exempt due to my disability but you'd think I was taking milk from a baby. One neighbour was whining (try looking at Google mate). I hadn't watered for four days. However Monty said tomatoes only need water twice a week so that was a win. I'm growing beefsteak by dint of not putting my glasses on when I bought the plants! The DS eats tomatoes like cherries so he can scoff these like apples.

Current house guest is fine. I'm going to avoid cooking today if I can and encourage pizza. Both girls not inteteresed in booze.

Welcome back @REP22 .we'll get a lunch in come September.
@Cartooner were you the same name? Mine was slightly different.

Yes same name here. I saw Monty last night talking about tomatoes 🍅

I probably have my timeline wrong on when I was here and I didn't post a lot. I just remember we all had our 'toolboxes' for the hard days.

Greetings, shipmates and sleepy Sid.

I'm back from holiday, too, and know how Sid feels - I'm shattered. I've been on a strange trip - I went with friends but we stayed with a group of strangers in a large house. It was organised inasmuch as the house was booked collectively, but we all did our own thing and shared the communal areas of the house. I'd happily go away with the friends group, but I'm not sure I would do the strangers thing again. Some people were really knocking back the booze in the evenings. One woman left early saying she had a migraine, although I'm sure there was a connection between the 3 bottles of wine she had in the evening and the 'migraine' she had the next day 😉. For some reason she didn't fancy the adventure things she and her partner had planned (zipwire or potholing I think - something like that, anyway), which didn't go down well as they were booked and paid for - she disappeared and must have got the train home as the partner was left with the car and had no idea where the missing woman had gone. I'm so pleased to be free of that sort of thing.

I had a routine liver check before I went away, and the news wasn't great. I don't feel like talking about it just now, as I'm still licking my wounds. Nothing too awful I hope, but I'm not on the trajectory I thought I was, which is disappointing. I'm back on the hypnosis, and still searching for the elusive track I used years ago. I think it must have been available on one of those subscription apps, but I don't know which one and I'm not subscribing to them all to find out. I asked Chatgpt to find it, but it only came up with 'near matches', which are not what I want.

If anyone has missed my previous pleas for help finding it, it was available about 8 years ago, so not a new one, and is a guided hypnosis track which takes you through a terraced garden, down a staircase to a boat, which crosses water to a healing place (you decide on what that should be, but I envisaged a cave) and you lie down and concentrate on healing your body. I found it really helpful in the past, and would love to listen to it again, but despite hours of searching I can't find it. I know it wasn't on YouTube (or more accurately, I didn't listen to it on YouTube). It may have been downloaded onto an iPod or it may have been an app, as I used both back then. I think it was a male voice, but I can't remember much more than that. It may have had a title that included either alcohol, healing or sleep, but healing is more likely - I don't think it was specific to alcohol, but a more general 'heal the body' thing. Any help would be appreciated if anyone recognises it from that vague description.

Joining you wonderful sober warriors again. Complety messed up this last bender and I know i need to access all of the support again.

i finished my nursing degree last week so just a pressure cooker exploding. Time to work on myself and my sobriety again and have that as my main focus so I can be the best mum and person and have the best life i can.

Completly let the kids down and feeling so guilty. Luckily they are with their dads till tomorrow so I can get another night and day to heal after thursday and fridays absolute bender.

I need this thread again. I need AA again and I am determined to never give up trying with this.

Back in bed after a shower and finally eating something and going to try and sleep again soon. What a mess.

We're here for you @Becky37

Not posted for a couple of months. I hit day 60 and then went to Spain where my wagon hit a pothole - and I fell off! Not big time but probably half time for 4 weeks. I spent all long time pondering, and I came to the conclusion that I liked the first glass or two and the rest was just a pointless habit. When I returned I buckled up and hit the stop button again and I’m now on day 54 ( including hospitality at Wimbledon with unlimited Pimms and champagne!!!). Although my hangovers have gone my mornings are still groggy but I’m lovely and naturally tired in the evenings and drop off without a thought in the world. As I’m retired when drinking I’d get out of bed about 9ish. These days it’s more like 6:30, and I get so much more done! Anyway I’ve mentally assigned august 31st as my next target. If I can do two bloody months why can’t I do two bloody years….

@Lavrander I hadn't heard the term 'fading affect bias' before, so I googled it. Very interesting! It's true that my anxiety levels have plummeted over the past few weeks, since I stopped drinking. Part of that is the fact that I'm on a break from work, but I'm sure part of it is also down to the lack of alcohol.

@WendyWagon I didn't actually know that people with disabilities were exempt from the hosepipe ban; that's something else I've learnt from this thread today! But your neighbour sounds awful. It's not our job to police our neighbours FFS, as though we were the Stasi or something. TBH I'm not thrilled with the hosepipe ban in our area because the local water company is awful. Big price hikes, the company in a financial crisis. and loads of sewage being regularly dumped into the river. It's a big scandal.

@ShyMaryEllen I'm afraid I've had the same kind of 'migraine' as the woman you describe... ugh. Anyway, I'm so sorry about your health news. It seems unfair given that you have come so far on your sobriety journey and become so strong. I hope you find the track you're looking for!

@Becky37 a warm welcome back and congrats on finishing your nursing degree. You can do this!

Hello @Slackfoxy , day 54 is impressive. And good sleep is lovely! I'm a night owl, so rather than waking up bright and early, sober me is enjoying hours of lucidity after dinner (instead of my usual groggy, headachy evening feeling). I still hope to shift my sleep pattern a bit though; I've been staying up so late it's ridiculous.

I've had a good day. Had another slow jog by the river. DS2 (aka the family social butterfly) has been invited on a camping trip and is leaving on Monday, so I ventured into our Garden Shed of Horror and unearthed some cobwebby camping gear. (We're not really a camping family.) I cleaned it up as best I could and put it out to air in the sun. I'm still kind of marvelling at the fact I actually have energy to get stuff done. It's very unlike me. I actually wonder if I'm getting a bit of the 'boing' that Cuddles referred to earlier, or the 'pink cloud' that some people talk about in early sobriety. No worries though, I'm sure my normal indolent and pessimistic outlook will be back soon :-)

Morning all.
I had a cracking sleep. I watched the Whitney Houston biopic. In years gone by I'd never make it to the end.
I saw her in concert, just fabulous.

@elusivehope I think we've got the same water company.

Bad news on the cottage yesterday. The owners are not selling. It was my favourite. A bit small but very pretty and no need to move again. Curses . The farmhouse is still available but I worry it will be me, the DH and individual fruit pies (a la Victoria Wood). Two old coders sitting waiting for someone to visit.

Morning all.
Hosted a dinner party last night, but DH is the cook in our house so he did all the hard work. Managed to sneak off to bed early but had lots of difficult dreams so not feeling great this morning.

Sorry to hear about the cottage @WendyWagon

Welcome back @Becky37 and @Slackfoxy

I'm away for the weekend and it's always slightly more tempting to have 'a reward' when you've had the packing and travelling stress! I had a lovely meal, Lucky Saint and watched a great movie 😊

And yes, the mornings are so much better! I'd begun to associate holidays with feeling constantly rough, and resented them...