Continuing support thread for those trying to live an alcohol free life - summer 2025

[Onewildandpreciouslife]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.

The original thread was started by @drybird in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain completely . If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there if that is your aim. That doesn’t mean that none of us has ever slipped, or that you can’t post here if you do - all we ask is that you are genuinely trying to stop drinking alcohol completely.

It’s not easy to be sober, but it is so, so worth it. Your alcohol-free life can be better than you ever dreamed. Come on in.

Can't believe I'm posting again so soon, but I really feel like having a drink right now. It's nothing big in the scheme of things but I feel very frustrated with DH. He's been in and out of the house pottering all morning, so I couldn't really work on tidying the downstairs, which was top of my to-do list. He finally decided to leave to go work in his office just before DS2 came home from school. I came down and he'd left the kitchen a mess after his lunch (crumbs and spilt coffee grounds and liquid coffee everywhere). AND he'd eaten the last of 'my' wholegrain bagels that I was going to have as a late lunch. Instead of eating his special sandwich bread he insists on ordering, and which he knows no one else in the family likes. Oh, and just before he left he came upstairs to criticise something I had done. It all feels like a bit much.

I just need to breathe. It's the little things that wind me up. I know IABU because he has as much right to be in the house as I do. And leaving the kitchen a mess and eating the last bagel is just him doing stuff without thinking. I could have done without the lecture though!

@LillyPJ I do like a bargain so I will definitely check out the Aldi beer, and maybe the sparkling water! We drink a ridiculous amount of Badoit and the plastic bottles aren't good for the environment, I know. I started ordering it when I first got sober years ago, and now DH loves it and drinks about four times as much of it as I do, despite drinking alcohol too 🙄

Everyone just STAY AWAY from my Badoit and my bagels, I am in a mood 😂

Oh, that IS annoying @elusivehope . I am so conditioned to people-pleasing, and not making a fuss, that I would be silently seething too. I am trying to get better at using my words, and/or not trying to control the situation, but it’s a battle!

Thanks @Onewildandpreciouslife ! I spoke to DH on the phone and I'm completely mollified now. He was very apologetic. He left the kitchen untidy because he suddenly realised he was running late for a meeting. He ate the last bagel because there was a new pack in the freezer (I had forgotten about the new pack in the freezer). And he acknowledged that his criticism of me was unnecessary. Finally, he said we should order pizza tonight so I don't have to cook in the heat.

I'm kind of blown away, because usually when I get cross with him, he doesn't respond well at all. I'm thinking maybe I have stored up some credit by not drinking over the last couple of weeks and therefore having been a noticeably nicer, more 'present' person to live with. 😳

I'm so relieved I didn't pop out for wine. Am now drinking raspberry lemonade.

Ooh, like @LillyPJ and @elusivehope I love sparkling water - have never found anything better AF to go with food - and I learned to love Badoit when I lived in France - it was regarded as good for the digestion because of its high magnesium content.

I especially loved an amazing Red Badoit which was super-fizzy, but then they stopped selling it in the UK... 😫I guess you order it imported, @elusivehope ?

I now drink the local fizz, Brecon Carreg, which is acceptably sparkly, and freeze slices of fruit and add mint when I'm really putting on the dog... 💦

Enjoy your raspberry lemonade!

Anyway, I'm mostly here to find out how @WendyWagon got on with Monsieur Francais... 🥖🇫🇷🐌

@CuddlesKovinsky I didn't know that about Badoit supposedly being good for you! I don't order it from France (I'm profligate, but not quite that profligate)! We get it from Ocado. It's not cheap, but compared to alcohol, most other drinks look like a bargain. As for the red Badoit, I've only ever seen it in France, but I actually like the normal Badoit because its fizz is so gentle.

The French do love their bottled water. I lived in France for awhile too, and a woman friend told me I should drink Contrex water as it had a slimming effect. !! (I was sceptical of this claim. I was also several stone lighter than I am now, so it's a bit sad that I was worried about my weight even then, instead of appreciating the body I had.) Maybe that was also to do with minerals.

Brecon Carreg sounds very nice, I will look for it!

Morning all.
Heavy rain so I’m bracing myself for this morning’s run. Still, at least it’s warm rain!

Morning all.
Thank God it rained. I've been panting like a dog

I had a huge argument via WhatsApp with my founder and boss last night. Twas very sticky. He ended up apologising, there's a first for everything!

I had been in the meeting with le French man (it gets better @CuddlesKovinsky he's half French, half Italian). The blighters at head office hadn't sent the figures so I looked a complete idiot.
However blow me down with a large feather duster, I got asked to consider the CEO role at a very, very famous beauty company.
Whether this old cripple could do it, I don't know but I'd like to try. Founded by a woman and that's what they need I think. The last two 'boys' have cocked it up.

I need some magnesium in my diet. I'll be trying the water too.
No house news and tbh I can't make up my mind. I need help in the garden at Wendy Towers before it goes on the market.
Have a peaceful day my friends.

Morning!
up bright and early and took the dog for a nice long walk. It rained and we got soaked but enjoyed it all the same. Dogs always show how it's done don't they.
Congratulations @WendyWagonwhat a fantastic opportunity.
perhaps she was drinking lots of contrex in the absence of anything else @elusivehope- that would probably have done it. I'm a bit sceptical about any water being better than others - the mineral content must be negligible but I do agree some tastes better than others. I'm a san pellogrino girl myself but must try badoit. Now I'm not spending any money on booze I'm rather taken with Ocado. Going all fancy with my AF drinks, fizzy water and Picard frozen range .. tres chic.

@Lavrander I like doing the fancy AF drinks too. I'm happy to do cheap sparkling water (I appreciate the more expensive ones like San Pellogrino but I drink so much fizzy water it would bankrupt me!) and was always ok with cheap wine but it's nice to treat myself to posher AF ones. I'll have a look at those frozen ones.

Crikey, that's exciting, @WendyWagon ! It's lovely when people at the top recognise your worth, and makes up for all the duffers down the chain who don't, and who mess you about... 😄

I understand about shonky health and how that can tire you, but do you find a challenge like this raises your energy?

Talking of health, I've had a migraine rumbling away for days, dragging on like a poshos' house party... OMG IT'S SALTBURN IN MY HEAD! 😱 It's the weather... But excellent sleep last night thanks to no booze - it was a constant 3am 'wake, wee and worry' cycle, even from one or two drinks... made everything so difficult...

Have a joysome weekend, one and all! 🤗

I'm loving the sparkling water chat. Took the plunge this year and had a sparkling water to installed. It's great being able to have it all the time. Definitely going to try Badoit when I'm on holidays later in the summer :)
That opportunity does sound exciting @WendyWagon

Im enjoying the rain and catching up with a family member later. It will be my first AF outing with them!

@Teaforthetotal Oh! I'd not considered a sparkling water tap thing. Does it take up a lot of cupboard space?

Greetings from our holiday berth, shipmates. Thank you for your good wishes for our holidays. We are safely ensconced. Horrendous journey though - over 5 hours (usually takes 3.5). Sid was a good and patient boy.

Wonderful news on the business front @WendyWagon - I really, REALLY hope we're seeing the tail-end of the carnival of numpties and malevolents that have disturbed your peace for so long.

Sorry about your migraine @CuddlesKovinsky - I get them from time to time - usually a reaction to the heat. I'm very familiar with the cycle you mention - it's exhausting to keep pedalling along to it. Hope you're feeling better.

I love fizzy water too. Squash is very nice made with sparking water. I'm a devil for Vimto - and the sugar-free version is unlimited in Slimming World world.

We are currently penned in to the holiday car park by a bridal party staying at the hotel next door. I don't mind. Nice leisurely cup of tea, waiting to see the bride go by. Sid has been ogling the groomsmen and ushers, the mucky monkey. Now he's watching Mary Berry on the big telly. I think it will be cool enough to go out on a walk in a bit, so hopefully some winning photos will be snapped with a minimum of chaos.

Bit of a continental flavour also. @WendyWagon with her Gallic lad, and on Monday Sid and I are meeting our German friend who lives down here and her two dogs, Sid's "holiday boyfriends". I'm not sure Toddy and Butter share his, er, 'persuasion' but that rarely discourages our Sidney...

Strength and courage my friends. xx

Sadly it does but given my passion for sparkling water, I had to store the bottles anyway so I look at in that way.
I'll be checking out the St Etienne, that k you for the tip!

I'd LOVE one of those taps (we've got hot 'n' cold but not sparkling ones at work HQ). But I live in a very hard water area, so it'd last about a month before becoming a pile of chalky rock.

Bridal party have just left, Sid waving them on their way. He wants to watch the end of Knight Rider 🙄 and then we're off! x

@REP22 I stayed in a house in a very hard water area once. They'd got a water softener contraption fitted under the sink. It was very effective - you just had to fill it up with salt (?) tablets every so often - but again, it took up a whole cupboard. My kitchen's quite small so I can only dream of all these lovely improvements!

@LillyPJ - that sounds like a useful contraption. I make do with no tea or coffee at home and softener tablets in the washing machine. Sid should invest in the Calgon people, he'd make a mint, hehe. xx

Ahoy shipmates.
Hoorah for two lots of rain this morning already.

I've been giving the house situation a lot of thought.
If the farmhouse gets sold I could still live at the very pretty thatched cottage. That one is a private sale so I'm not going to be gazumped. It's much smaller but it is my taste. It's a girly house. I'd have a pink mixer there. A bit Nigella. Is bigger always better if you have to clean it?
There will only be three of us. Only the garden to do. Hum.

Hello everyone. Been AWOL for a while as away on holiday and pretty busy. Not drinkingthoufh and feel quite settled in my identity as a non-drinker these days.

Back now and not looking forward to work again this coming week.

Loads of changes there currently it feels like a lot has happened that I was not aware of while I was away. The rumour mill has been going wild. (We had a work summer do yesterday so got the fag end of the whispers).

People also quite loose lipped after a few discounted drinks from the bar

I am sort of middle management but have been offered a more senior role informally before heading off on my holidays - however not sure where that stands now. My area is also under going rapid change not just internally but also in the wider world and I don't really feel like I have a grip on the changes or how to implement them at work.

So I am pretty stressed. And didn't sleep well at all last night.

Hope you have a lovely holiday @REP22 and that the weather treats you and Sid kindly.

Exciting news about the potential new role @WendyWagon . We are also contemplating a move. We either have to bite the bullet and spend.some.money on our current house to get it to where we would like it to be (and commit to it being our "forever" home of zjush it up a bit for sale and move).

I think DH and I are both ready for a change.

@LillyPJ we have a water softener. We are not very good at remembering to refill the salt though 😬

PS I know I am stressed because I dreamed about drinking last night for the first time in a year.

Good to hear from you @EastCoastDamsel but sorry you’re stressed. It’s harder when you’re working off rumour - hopefully when you are in work tomorrow everything may be a bit clearer. Uncertainty is grim.

Hi @EastCoastDamsel. I hate the rumour mill. We have some things going on at work and senior management may have their reasons for keeping things schtum but I often think honesty is the best policy because people can make up also sorts of things and it only makes morale worse. Hope it gets better for you.
@WendyWagonthe cottage sounds idyllic. I hope you have an appropriate cake stand to add to the kitchen collection.

Went to the pub with husband last night. He had three pints and I stuck to the Birra Moretti zeros (would recommend). I'm not there yet in my identity as a non drinker but was another proud moment for me and confirmation that it can be done. I could do with some advice on the chatting though - he was perfectly happy chatting away but I did feel at moments like I zoned out as he talked about work stuff and honestly it was not that interesting 😬 but in the past we would have got really into it and I feel like the drink would have helped me be slightly more inane...

That being said I don't want to be inane.. but I certainly need more practice in the art of conversation. Our relationship is so much better because I'm not so snappy and tired all the time. I'm far nicer to be around, but I did feel a bit sorry for him last night that conversation didn't flow out of me as much as it has done in the past.

Gosh look at me complaining about not being able talk and then posting an essay on here 🤣

@Lavrander Gosh - I can really empathize about zoning out and difficulties in conversation. I have a couple of friends who tend to monologue and when I was drinking, it was quite easy to sit back and let them talk. But now I get frustrated and bored! I think drink was an escape for me. It was also an escape from other things. I've had a stressful few days and I keep thinking about drinking. I've managed so far but it worries me that I might slip.