I have an alcohol problem

[cbr333]

name change for this. I have 2 girls under the age of 8. I have a good job, great family, full life but I drink far too much and I can’t stop.

I drink half a bottle of wine basically every night and that is up to nearer a bottle at the weekend and maybe 2+ bottles if we have a big day/night with friends.

I function well throughout the week but I’m at like 75% of my full potential at work. I don’t miss any work because of alcohol, i don’t secretly drink, I can leave half a bottle (as in I don’t need to finish what’s in the house) weekends are full with activities for the girls but all my social activities with friends revolve around drinking and I want to stop that. A sunny day, a hard week at work, anything becomes an excuse to have wine.

you wouldn’t outwardly think there was anything wrong with me except to say I like a few glasses of wine so there is no pressure on me to stop but I feel like I must be damaging my body and I don’t want my daughters to normalise drinking wine so frequently.

i don’t know why I’m writing this sorry, or what I’m asking for, I just need to start somewhere.

Just wanted to post as I have had a really good evening! My dad lives with us and my husband’s workmate came for a barbecue this evening. Usually I would have at least half a bottle of rose, especially on a night like tonight as we were sitting out in the evening sun. I had one alcohol free peroni which I actually enjoyed, not as an alcohol substitute but as a non-sweet drink that is different to what I would drink during the day. I know it’s only two days but I’m feeling proud!

I’m not going to drink for the third day in a row today. Is anyone with me!?

Well done! I’m on my third dry night in a town here, too. So nice not to wake up hung over in the heat!

I gave up at Xmas and haven’t drunk anything since, after a few weeks I didn’t even think about it anymore and after years spent driving myself mad about giving up/drinking less etc it’s a weight off the mind. It gets easier as you get past “first weekend” first party, first holiday”

I went from 1/2 to 1 bottle most nights to 2 a night over about 10 years without even realising. I functioned perfectly, never had a hangover, never drank before 8.30 (but I was doing 2 bottles and 4 bags of crisps in 3hrs!)

At Xmas my 14 year old who I would have sworn, never saw me falling over drunk, was never affected negatively, didn’t even realise I drank etc told me that she hated it when I drank wine, my vibe changed and I wasn’t as pleasant and she felt I was moody and miserable with her.
So that was my catalyst to stop.

I will say however that despite everyone extolling the benefits of stopping drinking I have actually put on weight, am on the tail end of a ridiculous sugar addiction and the actual mental benefits haven’t been as wonderful as it’s made out. So if you don’t feel as amazing as you expect just try to hang in there - my emotions were all over the place after that initial euphoria of “I’ve given up!!”

@Fifiellzwell done, that’s amazing! I do think about the impact it must have on my girls, I think I’m acting sober around them but they must surely sense a change.

I was aiming to not drink during the week but now asking myself could I do the bank holiday weekend without having a glass of wine. I don’t think I’m an alcoholic but surely that shouldn’t feel like such a massive deal!?

Well done. This is an awesome first step. I tipped over 140 days (I don't count but have an app tracker that tells me when I hit a milestone and reminds me how much I've saved- almost £1500 as a conservative estimate).

Have to echo another poster though. I didn't lose weight which I was hoping for although not as my main aim. If you drink wine you will definitely get sugar withdrawals and its so easy to replace it with food. I used to skip meals when drinking so I'm not surprised by the weight staying the same.

I do also think some people hope without alcohol everything in their life will be magically fixed. I still have a stressful job and young kids so I'm still tired but the biggest difference is there's no guilt about making bad choices to manage my stress. Start finding other solutions like going for a walk or having a nice bath with a face mask.

I have found that it’s so easy to slip into the habit of having a glass or two in the evening. I wanted to cut down on this so have been aiming for no wine Monday-Friday. Instead, I’ll have a tonic water with a slice of lemon or dash of Bottlegreen cordial, or lime and soda. It seems to trick my brain quite successfully that I’m having a nice drink. I’m hoping that this will help me with weight loss, too.

I have been successful most weeks in sticking to this so I’m hopeful I can create a new habit.

I find my tolerance for goes way up the more I drink. If I don’t take a few nights off I would be increasing the amount every night.
I had a similar issue to you after one summer holiday in July, I stayed drinking consistently until my birthday in Sept. Without much thought that continued until Christmas .
i remember thinking I had actually taken the ‘good’ out of my wine. The more I had the less it seemed ‘fun’.
After doing dry January I reset my habit to what I was happy with.

Good luck with feeling better x

I’ve stopped mid week drinking by making myself go to the gym so by the time I get back I don’t feel like it and there’s not much time before bed . On top of that I like a CBD drink which tastes the edge off if you feel like you need something to chill you out

It’s really good that you’ve been able to openly admit it - that’s a good place to start. At one point (several years ago), I was drinking 4-5 bottles a week. Looking back now I can’t believe it but it just sort of crept up. One small thing that really helped me was tracking my alcohol intake on an app. I used the free Drink Aware one. Just seeing the units adding up each week scared me and helped me begin to gradually cut down. Everyone is different but it helped me a lot. These days I drink 1 bottle of wine over the course of a week and I still keep tracking, just to keep myself accountable.

Tonight poses a problem - I am out with friends who will be expecting me to drink. I have to be up at 7 tomorrow morning and have a full day with my girls as mr husband is away, so I know I won’t drink loads, but I do fancy a Friday night glass of wine. Am I screwing up or, as my plan is to not drink mid-week, is it a better test of willpower to see if I can stick to one or two drinks?

In your situation I would use tonight to observe your pattern. Drink slowly and before you have a next drink ask yourself if you really want it. Have a glass of water beside you too and sip that. You can tell your friends you have cystitis if you don’t want to talk about it. You don’t own anyone an explanation for not drinking your usual amount but I know that’s easier said than done.

I have a drink when I go out but not wine. I will have four vodka and cokes which is about same units as two 125ml glasses wine.

Just back from my night out - I had 3 glasses of wine. We went back to a friend’s house and as I booked a taxi 3 other friends arrived (we had all been at a gig but left at different times). I would usually have cancelled the taxi and cracked on but I’m back with a pint of water and feeling the slightly light-headed feeling of a good night out but no guilt and feel like I’ll be okay at 7am tomorrow. Feeling tentatively proud of myself!

Congratulate yourself as much on the wins as you would berate yourself for the fails.

Just got a message from the friend who was hosting - she didn’t get to bed until 3am!

Just having a cuppa then will get my youngest ready for gymnastics

Quarter of a pint of a lager today and no other alcohol 😁 ordered that at a gig as thought it would be lower alcohol and less easy to drink. After a few sips realised I did not need it. Hope everyone else is having a positive weekend 💜

Well done!

Well done op! That’s a big change and will make a massive difference.
And, you’ve inspired me! On Friday night I thought about you and thought did I actually want a drink? The answer was no and I’ve not had one all weekend. I might today, I might not, but cutting back is never a bad thing.

Hi there ladies,

I’ve been drinking since a teenager and now I’m nearly 50, I don’t drink every day. I only drink at the weekends but, but boy do I drink at the weekends? So much so it would ruin the first part of the week for me mentally and emotionally.

Drinking wine never stopped me from getting up in the morning and doing all my exercising, and enjoying my day… But on most occasions, I would act like a bit of a tit so it put pressure on my marriage. I decided I wanted to stop, then realise that it was really difficult not to drink wine on a Friday and a Saturday and a Sunday. There are some amazing communities out there though, and one of them that really helped me was called dryy. It’s by Andy Ramage the one year no beer bloke and I read his book.Let’s do this which got me started.

You can definitely do it if you set your mind to it, as for me I needed a bit more help so I went private and bought LDN (low dose naltrexone) this is my second weekend (I would only ever drink at the weekend) and I found a bottle of wine last me the full weekend which is just brilliant. It’s not for everybody, but it is for me.

xxx

How was everyone’s weekend? After a positive Friday I drank too much on Saturday 😔 it was the final day of a music festival that has been happening near where we live and also a friend’s birthday. I had 3 wines at the festival then we went back for a barbecue and I had another 2 wines. The only positive (and I’m really searching here!) was that we left at 8pm, I didn’t have another drink when I got home, I ate well and drank water so was actually ok.

Today we spent declutterring the kids’ room and playroom before going to another birthday party. I had about an inch of wine and drove home.

So all in all not a resounding success but could have been worse and I’m feeling positive and capable of not drinking this week.

How are you getting on, OP?