The support thread for anyone trying to live an alcohol free life. Spring 2025.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome.
These threads were started by drybird in 2020 and have gone on to support many people to give up alcohol and live a sober life.
We are not a moderarion thread and only encourage sobriety. There is another long running thread if that's what you feel is right for you. Lots of support there.
We have newbies and veterans, some who have 5+ years under their belts.
We share life's up and downs (often why we drank) and no question is too silly.
Personally I gave up drinking three years ago. It's the hardest thing I've done and the best thing.
We call our selves sober sisters and even have a mascot, Sid the ship's dog.
He poses often for a cheer up picture.
We're not here to judge, just offer support and friendship.
It gets better I promise.

Ahoy shipmates.

I'm off into London to see my friend and her new home. Taking the pots I did at the weekend. I'm wearing my hot pink linen shirt. Bachelorette lipstick from Huda beauty.

Well done @Healthynow what good news.

All well until the dog jumped on my scar and hurt me yesterday. He was protecting me from the neighbours walking past. Typical small dog!

Morning Shipmates, lovely morning to be sober today.

@Healthynow top stuff for not drinking. 🏆 I know it's not easy but the rewarding feelings and better aftermaths are so, so worth it.

I once saw Sean Bean and Samantha Bond in the Scottish play. He signed my programme afterwards. I asked him how he'd got on with Banquo's goat. 🐐

I've also been lucky enough to see Samuel West and David Troughton in Richard II (excellent, but deeply annoying audience member who laughed hysterically at every line she perceived as intentionally amusing (it's very much NOT a comedy) to telegraph to us all how artistically intelligent she was, to the point where it was visibly p~ss~ng-off the actors). Also Dawn French and others in A Midsummer Night's Dream - she was Bottom; the scene where she was transformed into an, erm, "well-appointed" male donkey was a sight to savour.

Enjoy London @WendyWagon - I love London; you will make it look shabby against your hot pink gorgeousness.

Your daily affirmations continue to encourage and inspire @mermadeincornwall - I am also finding it very much not easy at the moment. But I continue to draw strength from you and all who sail here with us. It's less unbearable when we're in it together.

Strength and courage. I will not drink with you today either. And it's going to be alright. xx

Hiya Lovelies. Just having a quick catch up and cuppa. Beautiful sunny day here. Have just walked two bonkers Springer Spaniels for an hour by the sea, I don’t want to throw any more balls, frisbees or sticks again today! Alfie thoughtfully found a dead crab which he deposited on my foot, bless him. I’ve agreed to walk them both again at four, but it will just be a quick stroll near their home.

I am so jealous @REP22 I have lusted after Sean Bean for decades! Those jodhpurs in Sharpe! I saw David Tennant play Hamlet, he was awesome. I love Shakespeare, think I’ve seen the majority of the plays live. They sometimes do A Midsummer’s Night in the grounds of Norwich castle, take a picnic etc. had some lovely times watching the Bard.

Got some Becks Blue and Guinness Zero chilling for my Friday night treat, might even have a Magnum. Go me. stay safe and sober all you lovelies X

@Middlemarch123 I'd swap two Beans for one Tennant!. Although he was a fine bit o'rough in Sharpe, I agree.

How lucky to be able to walk dogs by the sea, what a treat. Although not in the case of the marine-based beast you describe. That's the one phobia I have, cannot even write the word down or bear to look at it. I can cope with snakes, spiders, rats, creepy blokes on public transport, death and dismemberment. But not ever, no way, absolutely not c~~bs. Nope. I wear walking boots to the beach. One of Sid's predecessors pulled the same gambit as your Alfie once when on holiday in Wales. A massive spider one, discarded by a fisherman. The more I screamed and tried to run, the more delighted he was with his special present for me, and the more persistent were his efforts to deliver up his prized bounty. One of my work locations is coastal and the cafe there sells little cuddly fluffy toy ones (why?!?). I dread going in there for meetings. They've got the best pasties, cakes and coffee for miles around - but in order to feast upon them I have to coexist with an entire walls' display of those nippy little b~st~rds gurning at me. I turn away every time. But I know they're there. 🦀

One of our conservation officers was once showing around a picture of a rare one he'd found in the area again after a long while, in great triumph. I sensed what was coming and dealt with it in the only mature, rational, adult way. By locking myself in the outside toilet until I knew he'd gone. Proud of myself for that one.

Enjoy your evening stroll and your Magnum. You deserve it. 🍦 Have a very lovely weekend. x

Aw bless you @REP22 , I won’t ever mention that c word on here again. I’m the same with those hissing slithering things, don’t even like the word. Wouldn’t visit a friend for years because her son had one in a tank. Wouldn’t go in the reptile house when we took school kids to the zoo…hid in the loos, so handled it superbly too.

Have a lovely relaxing weekend, you so deserve it, as all of my sober sisters here do. X

@REP22 and @Middlemarch123 well jel. I did see Derek Jacobi in 12th Night, Simon Russell Beale in A Winters Tale and Kevin Spacey’s Richard II. I also saw a production of 12th Night that had most of the cast of ‘goodness gracious me’ in it and set in modern day Bombay. It was so funny!! I’d love to see Sam West do a Shakespeare. I saw him do a TS Eliot play once that was really well done. I’d also love to go to Stratford and see something. I must sort out a proper to-do/bucket list now that I am sorting my life out. Aims for months 6-12 perhaps?

I love a bit of theatre. If we’re playing Tennant top trumps I saw him in the Donmar’s production of Macbeth - slightly odd staging, as all the audience wore headphones and the sound was played into your ear. Having David Tennant whispering in your ear was rather nice.

Shout out to everyone who finds Friday night a challenge- you will be so happy in the morning if you can hang in there x

Brief lull in major work spike. I've been working until 1am/2am most nights this week and can barely string a sentence together. In the old days there would have been a bad hangover during this lull - looking forward to restorative sleep instead! Cradling a tonic water right now and am happy with that.

Quick check in. I’m here and enjoying my sobriety. Throw love at everyone and everything, it’s the way forward

Morning wonderful crewmates.
I will not drink today.

I shall be emotionally removed from any issues I cannot change.
You can't reason with stupid people.

Sending love and serenity to you all .
Stay safe and sober.

Morning all.

I'm up early having done a marathon day.
Big cheese meeting before my trip to London. Very successful call.

My friend's new house was lovely and had a very femine vibe. The previous owner had taken the four loo roll holders! Shocking as the house was big bucks.
A few holes in the walls too.

We are off to look at kitchens today. The DS wants me to have a 'DIY' one and it can be painted to my specification. I fancy borrowed light from Farrow and Ball. He's fitting it so I'm doing as I'm told.
Hopefully my plants will come. I'm champing at the bit.

Stay safe and sober.

Morning Sisters.

Popping in to say hello. Still reading most days but things are extremely busy in work and life in general.

This weather is incredible at the moment! Loving the dry, sunny days (even if the garden is struggling a little)

Marathon completed last weekend. It was nice to be back in a race and enjoying the atmosphere.

l stopped running for about 18 months when my drinking really ramped up. I used to think that it was the drinking that stopped the running but I now think it was actually a little more nuance than that and that the stopping running - I have a bit of post even malaise after an ultra - that actually fed the ⬆️ drinking. And then drinking more meant I was less and less likely to start running again.

A vicious circle.

Anyway, I didn't get the time I wanted, though to be fair, it was fairly obvious from my training that my goal would never be achievable so I wasn't too fussed but it has inspired me to finally get some professional help. So I am going to get a coach I think.

Bit nervous as it starts with a biometric assessment and I KNOW my posture, form and efficiency absolutely sucks.

IWNDWYT

Hello Everyone. I don't know if I've posted on here before and I'm sorry if I'm butting in to your friendly group. But it's really helped me to read your stories and inspiration. My drinking crept up over many years until an evening without a glass of wine or two was unthinkable. I realized that I was always pouring a glass at 6pm and would end up having about two thirds of the bottle. Every night. I never got blind drunk but I felt a bit unsteady and slurred my words. My sleeping was bad - waking up at 3 feeling really hot, not able to get back to sleep. When I opened the fridge at breakfast time, I'd see the bottle of wine in there and feel reassured that at 6 o'clock I'd be able to have a drink. If there was no bottle in there, I'd put the next one in. If there was no wine in the house, I'd make an excuse to go shopping - buy some cheese and washing powder and 'while I was there' just pick up a few bottles... It nagged away at me for years. I knew it wasn't doing me any good, but I didn't seem able to stop. I don't know what changed. I'd read various threads on here and someone mentioned Friexenet AF and I just happened to see it on offer in Sainsburys so I bought it even though I don't like sparkling wine. (All the other AF wines I've tried in the past have been awful.) I poured a glass of that at 6pm on May 2nd and it wasn't bad at all. I ended up drinking most of the bottle, got engrossed in something on telly and never got round to having a 'proper' drink that night. This isn't an advert for Friexenet (although it was surprisingly nice) - it just demonstrated to me that I could manage a day without alcohol and that there were alternatives out there. So I decided to experiment and see which ones I liked, so I was treating myself to new drinks rather than thinking about how I was depriving myself of wine. Then I noticed I was sleeping much better, not feeling guilty all the time and looking a bit less haggard! I'm on Day 9 now and hope I can keep going. 100 days once looked impossible but I'm beginning to think I might be able to get there.

Morning all.
You’re doing brilliantly @taylorean and @Kindtomyself

Congratulations on the marathon @EastCoastDamsel ! I think I’ve recommended Ali Bailey’s There is no Wall before- there is definitely something about endurance running that “scratches an itch” in the same way alcohol does, and I’ve become more conscious of how I use it, but not sure I’ve completely addressed the underlying issues.

Enjoy the kitchen shopping @WendyWagon!

Welcome @LillyPJ and well done on 9 days! You’ve done the hardest part now, and you should see the benefits really showing soon.

Have you read any quit lit? The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley is really good, and her drinking was more of the slow creeping up that you describe than some of the other books

Thanks! Not read any quit lit yet but I'm building up lists of books and podcasts from recommendations on here. It all helps and it's wonderful to feel that others understand what it's like and that it is possible to quit. I've got some big challenges ahead including a holiday - maybe that's sorted out my holiday reading now!

Good morning! I think it's Day 8 today and I missed posting on Day 7.

Much Ado was very good. I was impressed that Shakespeare wrote in a fit young man prancing round the stage in his Speedos! Strawberry ice cream in the interval was very nice, if somewhat expensive.

Next up A Winter's Tale at the end of August.

A special mention to the friend who gave me a bottle of Tanqueray yesterday as a reward for being good at the dentist, despite knowing I had not had a drink for a week. I've put it with the others.

I will not drink today, but I may finish my jigsaw.

Welcome @LillyPJ . I second The Sober Diaries (I listened to it while walking, cooking, doing chores etc on repeat in the first few weeks./ It really helped me, partly because it was so relatable but also because , I think because I could follow Clare's story and "see" that a good outcome was possible.

I also enjoyed "The unexpected joy of being. Sober" but because her story played out when she was a lot younger than me, it was a little less relatable.

@Onewildandpreciouslife you did recommend "There is No Wall" which I enjoyed, and yes, there is clearly some stuff I need to work through. I am clearly avoiding something and probably needs some therapy. Just enjoying having a slightly healthier "addiction" at the moment.

I am also really proud of myself for no running or doing any exercise for the last week and leaning into recovery.

Great work on completing a week @NorthernDancer ! Well done 🎉

Oh completely @EastCoastDamsel . There are worse things we could do! I had my first run this morning after 2 weeks off. Last time I injured my back 3 weeks post marathon because I thought “I’m not running, I will fling myself into weight training”. Oops. I am trying to learn …

Glad you enjoyed the play @NorthernDancer - I bet the ice cream was half the price of the wine though!

Happy Saturday, Shipmates!

I'm pleased you enjoyed the play, @NorthernDancer. I have a few theatre tickets for between next week and next year, and am looking forward to the trips.

Welcome, @LillyPJ - you're not butting in at all. I found AF wine (specially the fizz) very helpful, but didn't find quit-lit useful at all. It just reminded me of what I was missing. I did use hypnosis though. In bed at night through sleep headphones. Going to bed sober was something I wan't able to imagine at one time, but listening to a soothing voice helping me to relax really helped. I was usually asleep by the time the 'don't drink' messages started, but they say that doesn't matter, as your subconscious is still listening. Anyway, whether the hypnosis worked or not it did help me to get through the earlier days.

Have you moved house, @WendyWagon? I've lost track of your house-moving saga - sorry. A new kitchen is very exciting. I got one about 18 months ago, and it made a huge difference, although the weeks when it was being fitted were grim. Cafe breakfasts were fun and a bit decadent for the first few days, but after a while the novelty of trudging out in the snow for overpriced coffee and a bacon croissant wore thin.

We're still in the Lakes, and it's sunny today. We were going to go home tomorrow, but have decided to leave it till Monday, as the traffic's always bad at weekends.

Thanks @ShyMaryEllen It's all a bit daunting at the moment! Next week a friend is coming to visit and usually we spend half the day in the pub. I'd never have more than two pints but it's hard to imagine not having them. Then there's my holiday coming up. And the usual social and family events... Still, I'll tackle them one at a time and one day at a time. I'm already much further on than I ever dreamed and that's an encouraging thought.

‘Your daily affirmations continue to encourage and inspire ** - I am also finding it very much not easy at the moment. But I continue to draw strength from you and all who sail here with us. It's less unbearable when we're in it together.’
just agreeing with rep22 ! This thread is REALLY helpful. You’ll love it lillypj!

mermaid thank you for your wise thoughts- I’m learning that I don’t want to get emotionally involved in other people’s stuff as well.I've known it but it’s taken a long time to know know if you know what I mean ! It means I’m resting right now instead of ‘being nice’ to various people. So liberating!
tonight might be tricky - friends, sun, an outside space pub. But! Thinking of an energy filled Sunday.
I get very tired anyway. Neurotoxins can’t possibly help! Enjoy your Saturday s.
IWNDWYT.

I'm back from the kitchen showroom. The last kitchen on floor two was spectacular. So glittery and glam. I'm having the quartz with the sparkles. The DS will say 'mother it's a bit much' but I don't care. All my houses have been period and listed and this ones not. I'm having a chandelier in my bedroom too, 'the tart's boudoir'!
I'll sell the abode to someone flash next year. @ShyMaryEllen we've delayed the cottage move. I've got more bathrooms than Buck House so I'm staying put, the seller put the price up. I'll be waiting in the wings, it will be she who blinks first.

Sainsbury's had wisteria so I bought one. I'll grow that over my door.
All the gardening is keeping me from thoughts of things I must not do.

Morning sober sisters on the good ship Sobriety, it's a voyage of self discovery .

Breathe slowly, hold the moment ,and reflect on how far you've come.

Sending grace and laughter.

Ohh and....
I will not drink today 💪