Anyone else drinking almost 2 bottles of wine a night?

[Peaky777]

i’m drinking nearly two bottles of wine most nights. Sometimes I go weeks without drinking but when I’m on it, I’m on it. I drink nearly two bottles in about 4 hours. I know this isn’t right. I don’t really get a hangover but I do feel ‘jaded’ and I stumble over my words. I’m scared I’m going to lose everything. My husband works in another country so he doesn’t know. My children are older so spend time away from the house with their partners but we’re all so close. Nobody knows. My daughter even said the other day that she’s glad I’m not ‘one of those lonely mums who drinks on her own’…I’m exactly this person! So, I want to ask, has anyone drank this much but managed to stop or cut back without using AA? I just can’t bear the idea of this. I know I should consider it but I can’t . Any help or advice is appreciated.

There's a dry January 2025 thread - have a read and join for support.

You say you go weeks without it. Is anything different during those times? Bored and lonely?

@BlondeMamaToBe Don’t know. I guess I just find the strength to stop. Life isn’t great in some ways though. I may not drink but I go to bed at 6:30 and watch films / Netflix. I don’t actually do anything. I’m thankful I’m sober but it’s still Groundhog Day.

Yes :(
I was one for years, now sober 11 years.
use all the tools, get all the help, stop now. You’ll be so hazy and bloated, all the while thinking you are high functioning. I can spot it miles away now.

I would see if you can get support to cut right down as it will badly affect your health. Tell your GP what’s happening and see if you can have some blood tests / liver check etc.
Recognising that you’re drinking too much is an important first step so act on it now.

Why are you drinking? Boredom? Because of your mood?

What makes you start drinking again when you stop?

I think it would be easier with some support. How would your husband react if you told him the truth?

I knitted the most enormous scarf in the first few weeks of stopping, that helped!

One of my friends has done this for years. Two bottles and in her nightwear by 6pm. She occasionally has a few days off and proclaims this will be the new her, but slips back after 5 days at most.

She's now been diagnosed with a large liver tumour that is inoperable.

I just can’t go to my gp. I’m so embarrassed. I’m a teacher and run a successful tutoring business. Everyone in my area knows me and they think I’m this really great person because I get great results for my students. In reality, I suppose I’m living a lie.

This terrifies me. I get stabbing, crippling pains in my liver area so I know this is affecting me. So sorry to hear about your friend.

There's a thread somewhere on here that really highlights the health dangers of drinking to excess - and by excess I mean 2 glasses of wine because apparently 6 units in one sitting is now classed as binge drinking! Doing it regularly has a multitude of health risks. I won't bore you with the details but it's easy to look into.

I love a drink and since Covid I've drank at home more evenings than not. Probably averaged about 30 units per week (you'll be doing that much in 1-2 nights with two bottles of wine).

I'm doing dry January to try and change my mindset and habits around booze. Started off as a novelty but got boring quickly. But I genuinely do feel much better within myself and am already questioning whether I need alcohol, certainly as frequently as I was drinking it.

My advice - just stop for a bit. You say you can go weeks without it anyway. Maybe bed and Netflix isn't the most exciting but it will be doing your liver, skin, brain and the rest of you much more good than boozing.

It's hard to kick it completely. I doubt I will ever be the total but if you can at least manage good chunks of time sober then when you do have a drink you may naturally cut back on the amount.

Thank you x

If you’re drinking 2 bottles of wine a week (more at the weekend?) then there is not a hope that you’re not driving under the influence the next morning / turning up to work over the limit.

you can go to your GP. Being a teacher doesn’t make it any less confidential.
You don’t want to wait until this gets any worse. If not from being caught drink driving but from the health implications of drinking almost 140 units of alcohol a week.

Please don't feel embarrassed.

What's worse - a bit of embarrassment or cirrhosis of the liver?

It sounds like you are aware it is a problem, so please seek help before it is too late (and before you become an embarrassment like my late BIL did)

Thank you- good advice. I actually like chilling and watching Netflix but it’s just a weird temporary state. I’m not actually doing anything so it feels so counterproductive. I actually don’t want to do anything when I’m not drinking. It’s more about just getting through the day. It’s just not good either.

Hey Peaky you can still turn this around. But you do have to stop. I used to drink every day, often a bottle of wine a night. Unlike you I did it pretty constantly. I stopped without AA (although I do recommend reading their Big Book it's available online). I stopped in 2016 and haven't looked back since. Things that I used:

Soberistas website
Threads on here (stick to the abstaining ones, cutting down wasn't a viable option for me)
Exercise (I do yoga and strength training in a group)
Read all the Quit Lit like 'Ice and a Slice'

There's loads of help I promise. And you'll gain so much more than you lose - like self respect, decent sleep, more hours in the day, the whites of your eyes back ...

You have cast iron confidentiality in the consultation room. Absolutely nobody will know.

This is me. I’m so sad about it.

Alcohol abuse affects lots of successful professional women. At the level you are drinking you will need some medical advice.

if you want to change you are going to need to do something rather than thinking of obstacles as to why not. Nothing will change unless you change it x

Please see someone about the pains. My friends tumour was picked up after she was feeling pains and her GP sent her for an ultrasound test which picked up a dark shadow.

What you disclose to your GP is completely confidential. No-one else will know, honestly. Your GP will see people with problem drinking EVERY SINGLE DAY - they are not judging you, they are there to help you. It's really important that you get a full check up and advice on stopping drinking. I watched a programme yesterday about alcohol and women - it was shocking, young women in their 30s who thought they were just social drinkers who were actually suffering liver damage. Please please go to your doctor and get some help. There's absolutely NO shame in admitting that you have a problem, it's actually very brave.

FYI if you're drinking heavily of an evening (2 bottles of wine in 4 hours is heavy drinking) you are very likely to be over the limit for driving the next morning, do you drive to work? Also you will smell of stale drink but you probably won't smell it yourself. Even if you shower in the morning, the smell is literally coming out of your pores and it's unmistakable.

We really need to do away with the term “high functioning alcoholic”. Now I’m sober I know there’s no such thing. Managing to hold everything together is not being “high functioning”

OP I do think you’ll need medical advice even if not AA (I didn’t go to AA either) but get some quit lit - The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley and Mrs D is Going Without are two great ones written by great women

Well done for taking the first step and admitting you are drinking too much.

The liver can repair itself but only once you stop. The pain is it objecting. If you don't stop you will end up with problems that can't be fixed.

Please see the GP for blood tests. ASAP. A relative of mine was so ill that she was taken into hospital. It was quite a shock but she lived and is fine now. It was caught in time.

Work out what's causing the drinking every few weeks. Could it be hormonal imbalances? You could join something to get you out of the house and break the habit.

Don't give up. You're on a roll now. This can be the year you did something for you after helping so many others. You can do it.

Thank you for this. I needed to hear this and I know you’re right but I’m so ashamed at even telling the doctor in the room where it’s just me and him / her. I just don’t see a way out of this shit coz I can’t get beyond this embarrassment and front I’m putting on. I feel effing useless. I dunno.

I'm nearly at that level. I'm numbing my shit life at the minute, stupidly because my life will get so much worse if I carry on with this self-harm behaviour..