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Alcohol support

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Anyone else drinking almost 2 bottles of wine a night?

133 replies

Peaky777 · 13/01/2025 22:21

i’m drinking nearly two bottles of wine most nights. Sometimes I go weeks without drinking but when I’m on it, I’m on it. I drink nearly two bottles in about 4 hours. I know this isn’t right. I don’t really get a hangover but I do feel ‘jaded’ and I stumble over my words. I’m scared I’m going to lose everything. My husband works in another country so he doesn’t know. My children are older so spend time away from the house with their partners but we’re all so close. Nobody knows. My daughter even said the other day that she’s glad I’m not ‘one of those lonely mums who drinks on her own’…I’m exactly this person! So, I want to ask, has anyone drank this much but managed to stop or cut back without using AA? I just can’t bear the idea of this. I know I should consider it but I can’t . Any help or advice is appreciated.

OP posts:
Onlyhereforthebatshitneighbours · 14/01/2025 02:14

Peaky777 · 13/01/2025 22:32

I just can’t go to my gp. I’m so embarrassed. I’m a teacher and run a successful tutoring business. Everyone in my area knows me and they think I’m this really great person because I get great results for my students. In reality, I suppose I’m living a lie.

Be a lot more embarrassing when you're admitted to have ascites drained 🤷‍♂️

I get the mortification you must feel, but remember that it's simply you confronting head-on that you can't control it on your own. There's absolutely no shame in being honest that you need help.

What you will find is that when you tackle it head on, your doctor (and anyone else you choose to tell) will admire your bravery.

What would you say to someone else if they confessed to an alcohol problem but were too embarrassed to seek help?

The professional way to deal with it is to tackle it head on, cleanly and efficiently. No short cuts - admit you need help, get it and your reputation won't suffer.

I knew someone who was an alcoholic who never really faced up to the problem and they died in a pretty messy, horrible way because eventually their body just gave out. They didn't live in squalor, presented a professional front to the outside world etc. Oh and more people knew than they realised, too.

No-one said being brave was easy. But a successful woman like yourself knows what it takes to achieve anything in life - whether that's professional success, academic awards, personal fitness challenges, etc, and dancing around hiding from the issue because of embarrassment isn't it. Is it?

Time to grasp the bull by the horns. No one will think less you, I promise. You've got this.

Onlyhereforthebatshitneighbours · 14/01/2025 02:22

IAmAnAlcoholic · 13/01/2025 23:55

I'm resurrecting an old user name to reply OP. I bit the bullet a year ago and told my GP after a health scare. They were great and referred me to a Community Outreach programme who were absolutely useless. The guy was frequently late despite me telling him I was having to dip out of work which made me really anxious. He got my name wrong half the time and had no idea what we had discussed in our previous meeting, frequently getting details wrong. I got to our last session, nothing had changed and I felt so let down. I joined an online AA group but didn't even make it through the first meeting. I haven't done anything since but live with the shame every day. I don't know where else to turn.

The shame is not yours. It is those who were supposed to help you at the outreach group but failed.

Its really hard just breaking / forming new habits even when you don't have addiction
Everyone falls down, no one gets it right 100% of the time. The trick is consistency. Try again.

There's no shame in needing to ask for help again. Remember how great your gp was before? They will be again. Your bigger than your addiction and the support is there - you just need to find the courage to ask again x

Areolaborealis · 14/01/2025 02:52

I would go to the GP about the liver pains as this is concerning. Years ago I was drinking a bottle at night and thinking I was fine because I had no hangover but my liver was all over the place according to blood results. I was able to reverse this quite quickly by cutting down significantly.

Apart from the blood tests, I found the GP quite unhelpful. I was offered Antabuse (makes you sick when you drink) but that was it. There are lengthy waits for the alcohol service. I believe there's really no therapy and ongoing support for people physically addicted ( I think they get admitted for 5 days withdrawal and that's about it). I'd look online for support groups.

I went from 12% wine to low alcohol cider which meant I could still enjoy a drink but couldn't manage the volume needed to feel the buzz like I did with wine. Over time I've got used to it and now drink a pint of cider maybe three times a week which is not perfect but an improvement (just be mindful to look after your teeth).

Best of luck!

DissidentDaughter · 14/01/2025 03:01

Well done for posting, OP 👏 No need to feel ashamed.

I’m in recovery, and was a drugs/alcohol counsellor for many years - the level you’re drinking at is dangerous!

The fact that you feel ‘jaded’ rather than outright hung-over is a possible indicator of your increasing tolerance to alcohol - the body can only process approx 1 unit per hour, so if you’re regularly drinking a couple of bottles a night you’re building up a backlog of unprocessed/damaging alcohol, and topping up/going over the limit every evening…

It’s hard to make changes without support. If you’re physically dependent, you might need meds for withdrawals (shakes/fitting etc) or at least a managed plan to reduce safely.

Some good suggestions from people on this feed. Most of all: don’t struggle on your own - talk to someone! GP, alcohol drop-in etc - whatever feels right for you. I went to AA for a while and found it helpful for initially getting/staying sober, but found 1:1 therapy useful for processing underlying issues which had made me more vulnerable to drink/drugs. I know some people have had some unhelpful experiences, but generally speaking there are people/agencies who understand what you’re going through.

There are loads of us out here, waiting for you to join us. Wishing you a happy new year, OP. X

merrymelodies · 14/01/2025 03:11

I'm sorry you're going through this, OP. As a single mum of adult DC, I could totally imagine being in a similar situation. It creeps up on you.

I've heard of a drug called Antabuse. It causes very unpleasant side effects if you drink alcohol. Radical I know but maybe as a last resort?

Wishing you a strong will and lots of determination. Flowers

LouiseTopaz · 14/01/2025 03:32

Doctors love to ask how much you drink, so if it makes it any easier just say "I think I'm drinking too much and need some advice" I know it can be hard, when I first admitted to a doctor I was having mental health issues I cried in her office because I had built it up so much telling her but they are extremely supportive, I know we hear a lot of bad comments about doctors but I've never had one before that's nasty etc. when I'm talking about a serious issue. They always say the first step is realising you have an issue and your doing amazing by posting ❤️

Thebellofstclements · 14/01/2025 04:05

Can you get an evening activity you can't cancel on? Driving local elderly people to/from hospital appointments? Dropping off prescriptions - key here is driving so you really can't drink. Or volunteering with old people?

Princessfluffy · 14/01/2025 08:26

There's always a reason why people drink.

If you can sort the reason then the drinking won't be necessary any more. That's how it was for me anyhow. The answer for me was therapy, maybe this is worth a try. It wasn't a quick fix for me but I did get there.

WorriedMutha · 14/01/2025 09:22

You are a decent person. There's no such thing as a typical alcoholic. They are people like you.
You could carry on seesawing around or go to your GP. He will most likely order blood tests and maybe a scan and refer you to the addiction service.
The point is it begins a process of accountability on your part. It forces you to engage and without that you will carry on seesawing around.
In your case it is the secrecy that is enabling your drinking.
I wish you all the best. I'm a very light drinker but nonetheless I am doing dry January as a way of kick starting abstinence as I just don't consider it a healthy choice.

StrikeForever · 14/01/2025 09:40

IAmAnAlcoholic · 14/01/2025 00:55

I'm really scared about physical withdrawal. I've been drinking every nights for decades.
Edited to add that I also have a lot of unresolved trauma.

Edited

Doctors can manage that physical withdrawal with medication. If you’re at that stage, don’t try to just stop without medical help. That way the withdrawal can be dangerous.

Starlight1984 · 14/01/2025 16:45

Potatoewithawonkyeye · 14/01/2025 00:18

@Peaky777 I hear you peaky. My record is seven wines a day lately. Not glasses. BOTTLES. I'm dying of shame everytime the recycling van comes around. I'll give you a brief reason for my drinking which is heartbreak/deaths/bored/skint/used/abused and feel I have utterly no purpose left. I have to be honest the doctor gave antidepressants straight away...that I don't want to take as I think there is a difference between 'being depressed' and 'depression'.
If anyone would of been what I've been through they'd need a bloody stiff drink aswell! But I can't stop now (not for lack of trying) as having physical withdrawls. I know I've damaged myself. I so want to stop. I wish you the best of luck and hope you well xxx💐

7 bottles of wine A DAY?!?! What?! How?!?!

I am a drinker so absolutely no judgement from me at all but wow. How on earth can you drink that much?!

Fordian · 14/01/2025 16:56

I was a two bottle a day drinker til Dry Jan this year! I'm only on Day 14 so very early days, yet. I'm struggling a bit with boredom in the evenings, as much as anything.

I don't want to go to my GP because I am a HCP and don't want 'excess ETOH' on my record that a colleague might see.

I'm interested in what people are saying about Mounjaro. I'm overweight (unsurprisingly) but I thought I'd have to tackle the wine thing before considering MJ. I may investigate further!

AA would absolutely not be for me; it sounds cultish and controlling. I am not helpless in the face of alcohol. It's a choice I make.

I'm about to read 'The Unexpected Joy'. I tried 'Naked Mind' but early on I found myself disagreeing with the basic premise that your 'one sherry at Xmas' maiden aunt is merely earlier in her alcohol journey than the homeless drunk swilling anti-freeze. And we all have mates who drank like fish alongside us at 18-30 who now at 60 drink 2 glasses a week.

Good luck. If I can stop a 2 bottle a night habit overnight (14 days ago), so can you!

Potatowonkeyes · 14/01/2025 17:57

Starlight1984 · 14/01/2025 16:45

7 bottles of wine A DAY?!?! What?! How?!?!

I am a drinker so absolutely no judgement from me at all but wow. How on earth can you drink that much?!

I'm Killing myself. I know. If I wake up at 8 in the morning and fall asleep passout drunk at 5 in the. follwing morning? Easily do 5-7 bottles!

If you walked past me in the street you wouldn't know....or that's what I tell myself?

I can barely leave the house as I am the last 6 months. I think lockdowns during covid have ruined me x

nzeire · 14/01/2025 20:48

Potatowonkeyes
you’ve got a choice here, I’d love to see you turn this around x

Fordian · 14/01/2025 22:31

Gosh, @Potatowonkeyes, I hope you can find a way out of the pit you must feel yourself in. Alcohol is a terrible master.

Potatowonkeyes · 15/01/2025 00:05

nzeire · 14/01/2025 20:48

Potatowonkeyes
you’ve got a choice here, I’d love to see you turn this around x

And I'm making the wrong choice by 'self medication' through alcohol.....and I know the reasons why! I'm honestly a positive person by nature but I'm a victim of circumstances rather than not helping myself if that makes sense? Not for the lack of trying but I've seeked professional help...2 out of 3 told me not to cut down? Doctor just threw anti-depressants at me and I dare take tablets on top of my alcohol intake?! Never mind my brothers death was caused by over-prescribed tablets from the same surgery (it even made the papers) abusive man after abusive man...all seem so normal at the start. Great...stay single? I have but its ruined my faith in men in general...so that's 50% of the population I avoid. Go out with the girls? I've been massively shit on from great heights from who I thought were true life long friends. Deaths galore the last 3 years. Hobbies? I can't physically go to the gym or book club or knit or concentrate on crap t.v when I'm pissed so stop drinking? As a pp said it's actually dangerous to stop overnight, Im having physical withdrawls.

I know your not a therapist so sorry about the unload on here😅

Dear op @Peaky777 ....please don't end up like me. You can do this. Fill your evenings with anything that brings you joy. I'm thinking of you x

nzeire · 15/01/2025 08:33

Potatowonkeyes
you’re worth more than this life you are leading. Please keep reaching out to professionals for support x

beasmithwentworth · 15/01/2025 15:35

I have always found the dry jan threads etc v supportive in the past but if you are serious about giving up.. or have a greater problem (like I did) then the group I joined recently has been amazing. It really does change your mindset about alcohol to the point where you no longer feel you are being denied anything.

You can either do it by going in through the Facebook group 'life's better without alcohol' and seeing the 30 day challenge called 'shrink the drink' on there (it's 20 quid and you can keep all of the material for life) or you can just go straight onto www.shrinkthedrink.com

You click on a video every day recorded by the founder, Jason who is the loveliest chap ever and an ex alcoholic who became a coach. He's also available on line or messenger when ever you want. He gets you to think about something different every day and it all builds from there.

I have no idea to this day how I stumbled across it but it's changed my life. So many supportive people on there who were exactly like you.. some on day 1, some on day 1000.

People have said that this has worked for them where rehab / AA and all manner of things have failed.

You don't have to leave the house and you don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to. If you are worried about cold Turkey then there is advice on that too

Touty · 17/01/2025 01:17

How do you afford 2 bottles of wine a night? How much are you spending a month?

beasmithwentworth · 17/01/2025 07:46

@Touty yes the flip side of that is how much you realise you are saving when you stop! It's so nice to spend money on other stuff .. I have bought clothes, gone for manicures and plenty of other stuff with the money I have saved!

rainbowprincesschapell · 18/01/2025 12:00

My friend was drinking 9 bottles of wine a day and had been in and out of various rehab facilities - it was horrible to watch x he ended up taking his own life as he was in a living hell x

Ifeelfat · 19/01/2025 18:32

@Peaky777 @Potatoewithawonkyeye get on Mounjaro.

as pp’s have said - it’s a life changer.

i was easily a bottle a night if not more. Knew I needed to pack it in but found it so hard.

went on MJ for weightloss and it’s actually unbelievable - I just don’t crave it at all.

good luck.

2025willbemytime · 19/01/2025 18:35

I've not been a big drinker at all but lately I'm drinking and it's so stupid. I just want to forget..

PoorLion · 04/03/2025 08:17

My tips are to walk of an evening, it’s getting lighter, if evening is a trigger it will help. Have you got a dog? Want a dog?

Can you get some counselling? Treat it as working on your self whilst everyone is busy off living their lives? Are you over weight? Mounjaro may help

StillTiredOfThinkingAboutDrinking · 11/03/2025 15:48

@Peaky777
Posting here because I could have written most of your posts on the first page. Haven’t RTFT yet. And this is a bit of a formal introduction to my story…I’m not good at being open and honest…

I have a longstanding dysfunctional relationship with alcohol, occasional sober periods but always heading back down the slippery slope, knocking back too much wine every night. Very much a secret drinker (although I’m sure friends know…)

I found support in the past from Belle Robert’s site (which I’ve pinched for a username, sorry Belle) and the Brighteye forum which sadly doesn’t exist anymore. So I’m hoping to post here for accountability and maybe help other people.

I referred myself online to my county’s Inclusion addiction support service on Monday. Just been called today to finish screening. I can’t even explain the sheer relief of finally being totally honest and open about it. Waiting now to be contacted again, a few days apparently. I hope this is the start of a success story.

I’ll be back..wishing love and strength to everyone.